Playing It My Way: My Autobiography

by Sachin Tendulkar

  We played our semi-final against Kenya at Durban and managed to win the match comfortably. Sourav and I had a very good partnership and the team managed 270 in our fifty overs before bowling the Kenyans out for 179. We were in the World Cup final, with eight straight wins behind us. The defeat to Australia in the qualifying rounds seemed a lifetime away. Now we were playing them in the final and we were convinced we had the team to stop them from winning back-to-back world titles.

  So near and yet so far

  Up till then, all of the players in the team had only watched others take part in a World Cup final. Now it was our turn. The excitement back home was extraordinary and a huge number of people had come to South Africa to cheer on the team. We had peaked at the right time and were playing some really good cricket. Naturally we were all determined to give our best in the final but perhaps we got ourselves too wound up. The evening before the final the team decided to spend some time in the pool. To our surprise, the water was freezing but that did not stop us from jumping in together. I didn’t sleep well that night.

  When we got to the ground the next morning, we immediately went over to take a look at the surface. It was apparent to us all that there was moisture in the pitch and, given it was a day game, the fast bowlers were sure to get some early assistance. It would not be a bad idea to field first if we won the toss. That’s what we did, but the decision turned out to be a disaster, with Ricky Ponting playing one of the best one-day innings of all time, making 140. Australia scored a mammoth 359 in their fifty overs and had almost batted us out of the game.

  In hindsight, I would still have opted to field. It was because we could not keep a lid on our excitement that we lost the plot early on. Zaheer conceded 15 runs in the first over and though we still felt we could make a comeback after that one bad over, it just didn’t happen. Towards the concluding stages of their innings, every big shot that Ponting played made our task that much more difficult. In a final, every run scored after the total passes 300 is worth double and 358 was an intimidating target against a fantastic Australian bowling attack. In the team discussion at the interval we reckoned that we needed to hit one boundary every over and then score the remaining 160 runs in 250 balls. It was an attempt to be positive, as there was no other option left to us at that point.

  I took first strike again and managed to score a four with a mistimed pull off McGrath. When I attempted a second pull shot I got a top edge and felt utterly dejected to see McGrath settle down under the ball to take the catch. In situations like those you can only pray that the ball falls in no man’s land or that the fielder makes a mistake. It was not to be and I was on my way to the pavilion. While walking back, I kept asking myself why on earth I had played that shot. Maybe I should have given myself two or three overs to settle down, but the pressure of the chase was such that attack seemed the only option.

  In the middle of the innings there was some light drizzle and it turned really dark. My thoughts went back to the South Africa series in January 1997 when rain had denied us victory. This time I was praying for rain and hoping that the match would be washed out, forcing a re-match the next day. We were not so lucky and were eventually all out for 234.

  At the presentation it was difficult to watch the Australians celebrate while our own camp was feeling the pain of defeat. When my name was called to collect the Man of the Tournament award for the 673 runs I had scored, it didn’t give me much excitement. I am not suggesting that I did not feel honoured or proud, but the feeling was overshadowed by the loss. Now we would have to wait four years before we could have another crack at the World Cup.

  In my disappointment, I had not even noticed that the bat I was presented with as the Man of the Tournament was made of gold and I just stuffed it in my kitbag and checked it in as luggage on the way back. Only when people asked to see the bat after we landed in Mumbai did I realize it was gold and had been specially crafted. All I did on the flight back was sleep. Most of the players were still upset and were in no mood to talk. It would take a long time to get over the disappointment.

  Looking back, the 2003 World Cup remains a bitter-sweet memory. We played some excellent cricket as a team and I contributed well in almost all of the matches – but not in the final. Beating England and Pakistan were unforgettable high points, but the World Cup trophy was still eluding me.

  * * *

  India in the 2003 World Cup

  7th match. India v Netherlands at Paarl. 12 February 2003

  India 204 (48.5/50 ov); Netherlands 136 (48.1/50 ov)

  India won by 68 runs

  11th match. Australia v India at Centurion. 15 February 2003

  India 125 (41.4/50 ov); Australia 128–1 (22.2/50 ov)

  Australia won by 9 wickets (with 166 balls remaining)

  17th match. Zimbabwe v India at Harare. 19 February 2003

  India 255–7 (50/50 ov); Zimbabwe 172 (44.4/50 ov)

  India won by 83 runs

  25th match. India v Namibia at Pietermaritzburg. 23 February 2003

  India 311–2 (50/50 ov); Namibia 130 (42.3/50 ov)

  India won by 181 runs

  30th match. England v India at Durban. 26 February 2003

  India 250–9 (50/50 ov); England 168 (45.3/50 ov)

  India won by 82 runs

  36th match. India v Pakistan at Centurion. 1 March 2003

  Pakistan 273–7 (50/50 ov); India 276–4 (45.4/50 ov)

  India won by 6 wickets (with 26 balls remaining)

  2nd super. India v Kenya at Cape Town. 7 March 2003

  Kenya 225–6 (50/50 ov); India 226–4 (47.5/50 ov)

  India won by 6 wickets (with 13 balls remaining)

  4th super. India v Sri Lanka at Johannesburg. 10 March 2003

  India 292–6 (50/50 ov); Sri Lanka 109 (23/50 ov)

  India won by 183 runs

  7th super. India v New Zealand at Centurion. 14 March 2003

  New Zealand 146 (45.1/50 ov); India 150–3 (40.4/50 ov)

  India won by 7 wickets (with 56 balls remaining)

  2nd semi-final. India v Kenya at Durban. 20 March 2003

  India 270–4 (50/50 ov); Kenya 179 (46.2/50 ov)

  India won by 91 runs

  Final. Australia v India at Johannesburg. 23 March 2003

  Australia 359–2 (50/50 ov); India 234 (39.2/50 ov)

  Australia won by 125 runs

  15

  AWAY WINS

  As soon as the World Cup was over I consulted a series of specialists and was advised to have an operation on the ring finger of my left hand because of calcification. There was no other option and in April 2003 I travelled to Baltimore, USA, with my family to get the surgery done. Dr Anant Joshi, as on many occasions in the past, was with me, and his reassuring presence, together with that of my friends Vini Desai and Paresh Bhakta, was always a great source of strength in moments like these.

  The surgical process turned out to be slightly out of the ordinary because I was not the best patient. I was extremely worried that the doctors would cut open my palm. Cutting the palm would mean substantially altering my grip, which I really didn’t want to do. I explained to both my surgeons the nuances of cricket and urged them to cut open the back of the hand. I was so obsessed with this issue that I woke up during the surgery and asked them to show me where they had made the incision. Dr Joshi later told me that they were all surprised to see me awake despite the anaesthesia. The doctors showed me that my palm had been left untouched and told me to calm down and allow them to carry on. Satisfied, I instantly drifted back to sleep.

  The surgery kept me off the field for close to four months. There was not much cricket scheduled then and I missed only one tour, of Bangladesh, in the period I was out. The recovery was painful and, as often happens, I jarred the hand on a number of occasions during the period of convalescence. The one time I hurt it really badly was when I was h
olidaying in London in June 2003. Anjali and I went out for dinner and then took a taxi back to the hotel. While paying the taxi driver my finger got stuck in the glass of the window and I fell to the ground in severe pain. The taxi driver was alarmed but Anjali assured him that it was not his fault and told him to carry on. After a few painful minutes I finally managed to walk back to the hotel.

  India in Australia, November 2003–February 2004

  So far, 2003 had turned out to be a good year for Indian cricket. Making the World Cup final was something to be proud of, but there were still plenty of challenges ahead. We were due to play a Test series against the world champions in Australia at the end of the year and that tour was to be followed by one to Pakistan in early 2004.

  Before leaving for Australia we played a one-day tri-series at home against Australia and New Zealand in October and November 2003. I was in good form and scored a couple of hundreds on the way to the final. Though we lost to Australia at Eden Gardens, I came away from it feeling confident of doing well in front of big Australian crowds.

  Unfortunately my series Down Under started in the worst possible fashion at the Gabba on 4 December 2003. I lasted just three balls and was given out lbw to Jason Gillespie when the ball struck the top flap of my pad. I thought it would have gone over the stumps by six inches or more and I was disappointed to see the umpire raise his finger. Sourav and VVS Laxman managed to steady the ship, and Sourav, captaining India for the first time in Australia, duly played one of his finest Test innings. His 144 at Brisbane helped to set the tone for the series. At the end of the day’s play he was ecstatic and had every reason to be so.

  The first Test was drawn and we moved to Adelaide for the second Test on 12 December. The Adelaide wicket was good for batting and the Australians made the most of their opportunity. When they scored 400 runs on the first day, I clearly remember the Australian team standing up on the dressing-room balcony and cheering the batsmen off the field. Day two started better for us and, with Anil bowling beautifully, we managed to restrict Australia to 556 in their first innings. With the good batting conditions and a lot of time still left in the match, there was every chance we could make a contest of it if we batted well enough.

  Rahul was outstanding and his double hundred helped us get close to the Australian first-innings total. Laxman too was majestic and it reminded us of the incredible partnership Rahul and Laxman had put together at Eden Gardens in March 2001, only this time the roles were reversed, with Rahul getting a double hundred and Laxman a hundred. I lasted just six balls before I was caught by Gilchrist off the fast bowler Andy Bichel. It was an annoyingly soft dismissal.

  The Australian second innings belonged to Ajit Agarkar, my team-mate from Mumbai. He produced his best ever spell to set up the match for us. He took six Australian wickets for just 41 runs as we bowled the Australians out for 196, leaving us with 230 to chase. We fielded brilliantly in this innings and took some amazing catches, Aakash Chopra’s catch of Ponting at point off Ajit being the stand-out. I chipped in with two crucial wickets, bowling leg-spin. Steve Waugh and Damien Martyn had put together a good partnership and it was immensely satisfying to be able to get both of them out caught in the slips. It was time for the batsmen to close out the game.

  Rahul was yet again the star performer and I managed to contribute 37 before falling lbw to leg-spinner Stuart MacGill. We had put together a 70-run partnership at a critical time in the match, which was particularly satisfying. Rahul hit the winning runs for us, remaining unbeaten on 72, and the team was thrilled to have taken a 1–0 lead in the series. We stayed in the dressing room till late and thoroughly savoured the moment. Never in our history had we managed a 1–0 lead against Australia in Australia. We had matched the Australians in every aspect of the game and had a very good chance of winning the series if we continued to play at our best. Rahul and Laxman were in imperious form; Sehwag and Sourav had made important contributions in both Tests; Aakash Chopra, our second opener, had done a good job of blunting the new ball.

  On the eve of the next game – the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne – I decided to take Anjali, Sara and Arjun out onto the ground, just to give them a feel of what it is like to be inside a stadium. Standing in the middle of the MCG, they could imagine for themselves what we go through with more than 80,000 people in the stands. It was Arjun’s first visit to a stadium.

  We batted first after winning the toss on 26 December and Virender Sehwag played what must be one of the best Test innings ever seen at the MCG. He was in his attacking mode and played some strokes that only he can play. I have no doubt that Sehwag at the top of the order was one of the best things to happen to Indian cricket and he played a key role in leading us to the top of the world Test rankings in 2009. He really should have got a double hundred at the MCG, but was out for 195 hitting a Stuart MacGill full toss to long on.

  The rest of the batsmen unfortunately failed to capitalize on the start Sehwag and Aakash Chopra had given us and we were all out for 366, allowing Australia back into the game. I faced only one ball, getting a faint tickle down the leg side to Gilchrist, who was standing way back to Brett Lee. I turned around to see the ball travelling to Gilchrist and knew that it was the end of me. That is one of the worst ways of getting out and I felt embarrassed. I felt even worse when I was told that Anjali had come to the MCG to watch after being persuaded by some of the other wives. I heard that she left the ground the moment I was out and walked all the way back to the hotel. I couldn’t help reflecting on the occasionally cruel and unpredictable nature of our much-loved game.

  Australia responded impressively, playing brilliantly in their first innings and, with Ponting scoring 257 and Hayden 136, effectively batted us out of the game with their 558 total. Close to 200 runs behind, we would have to bat exceptionally well to save the match. We did not, and the series was 1–1 with one Test to play.

  Once again, I did not make the contribution I had hoped for in the second innings at the MCG. To change things a bit, I asked Sourav what he thought about batting ahead of me. It was towards the end of the third day’s play and Sourav, who was in good form, agreed to step up, allowing me the cushion of going in to bat the following morning at number five. The ploy seemed to work and all was going well until I got out for 44, caught by Gilchrist off the fast bowler Brad Williams. I had been in control until I played one false shot, the feature of my batting in the series. It seemed that every time I tried to move up a gear, I lost my wicket.

  It all comes down to Sydney

  On the eve of the fourth and final Test match in Sydney at the beginning of January 2004, John Wright came to my room to try to get me to think positively and boost my confidence, which was a great help. I had also had a long conversation with Ajit, and one challenge he put in front of me was to try to remain not out in both innings. He said that I was allowing myself to get out to bowlers, rather than making them have to take my wicket, and that if I decided to rein myself in, no bowler would be able to get me out. I took up the challenge and decided to play a waiting game. Even if I looked ugly in the middle I was intent on sticking to my plan. Having got out twice in the series playing aggressive shots, I was simply not going to try anything extravagant at the SCG. True to my promise, I played what was in some ways one of my most difficult Test innings. I consciously checked my shots and was determined not to get out. In more than ten hours at the crease I did not play a single cover drive. When the Australian bowlers cracked a few jokes at my expense, I remained focused. It was a real test. Even when balls were there for the drive, I let them go. It was all totally against my natural instincts and it left me drained but immensely satisfied. At the end of our first innings, I was not out on 241 and had taken the team score past 700.

  When I think about this Test, I can’t help remembering that for some reason I turned unusually superstitious. Anjali, her parents, Sara and Arjun were with me on the eve of the match and we decided to go to a Malaysia
n restaurant for dinner. The food was excellent and we ended up ordering noodles, chicken and a host of other dishes. My family then left for India the next morning, but I had a very good first day and was unbeaten on 73. In the evening I decided to stick to the routine of the previous night and went to the same Malaysian restaurant, this time with Ajit Agarkar and a couple of other players. Not only did we sit at the same table, but I had exactly the same food. The next day went even better and I was not out on 220. That night, I again went to the same restaurant and occupied the same table and ate the same food. On the third day of the match, with the Test match going really well for us, we went to the same restaurant one final time. The restaurant manager must have thought we were mad. At the same time he must have been elated at the thought that we had returned because of the food. Little did he know the real reason for our fourth consecutive visit!

  After my double century, I was sent to address the media. A local journalist said that I had been getting a lot of flak in the press recently but, now that I had scored an unbeaten double hundred, would I be reading the papers the following morning? All I said to him was that I had not read anything during the series – which was my way of keeping myself insulated from all the hype – and I was unaware of what they had written about me. I didn’t have a problem with getting flak if I had not performed. The media needed to do its job, after all. But I was not looking forward to reading the papers just because I had scored some runs – I did not need validation from the media. Criticism and praise are two sides of the same coin and, having played international cricket for fifteen years, I had learnt to take these things in my stride.