Gorilla Dating

by Kristen Ethridge

  Okay, ten minutes from when Cindy sent that e-mail is…right about now, so I get up from my desk and head to the opposite end of the hallway where Cindy’s office is located.

  When I walk into Cindy’s office, Logan and Laura Lynn are already seated in the two guest chairs, so I stand in the corner. Cindy finishes an e-mail, then turns in her sleek black mesh ergonomic chair to face us.

  “What is the meaning of this e-mail, Kate?” She holds up a printout of Jack’s message for emphasis.

  I can’t quite tell if she’s angry or just being her usual Fire Baboon self. Understanding if she were one or the other would help me greatly in attempting to answer the pointed question.

  Man, I wish I hadn’t left the giant coffee on my desk. I would really appreciate the ability to stall by taking a v-e-r-y long sip…and the caffeine boost might help, too.

  “Cindy, I think it’s supposed to be a recap of this weekend’s planning session, so everyone starts the week on the same page.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. Okay, this clearly means I read her mood wrong.

  “I can read the attachment, Kate. I want to know why he called ‘Zoo Who’ your idea.”

  She’s definitely Angry Cindy, not just Fire Baboon Cindy.

  She’s more like Fire-Breathing Cindy, in fact. Flammable respiration has never before been documented in any primate species, until now.

  I feel myself reflexively flinching backward from the draft of the heat as she spews her next words.

  “We are a team, Kate Cormick. All four of us. The team gets credit for the ideas. I am the leader of the team. I present the ideas. Just because I was absent on Thursday does not give you the right to usurp my authority as the leader of this team.”

  If I were asked to write a press release announcing that University of Texas researchers had discovered the preposterously impossible—finding little green men and then deciding to enroll them in class over at the Forty Acres, I could not be more stunned than I am in this very moment. I cast a glance at both of my colleagues. Logan’s face bears all the tell-tale signs of shell shock: wide eyes, dropped jaw, and a slightly cocked head. Laura Lynn, on the other hand, doesn’t. Her spine is extended, her shoulders are back, and she’s leaning slightly forward in her seat—toward Cindy. She’s hanging on The Fire Baboon’s every word.

  The idea dawns on me slowly, then throttles forward with the speed of a bright red car circling the track at Indy. Laura Lynn is the genesis of all this. Cindy’s further words confirm my suspicions.

  “Laura Lynn told me everything about how you acted Thursday. How you forcibly took over the presentation from her—when I asked her to give it. How you embarrassed her in front of Jack Cooper. And then when I saw you on Saturday, partnering up with Jack and whispering to him on the way out, well, I knew you were up to something.”

  Up to something? Individual hairs bristle along the nape of my neck. If I hadn’t loaded the presentation on my laptop last Thursday, our team would have sunk faster and more spectacularly than the Titanic. Laura Lynn hadn’t even seen the final slide deck; there’s no way she could have presented it to Jack. And as for partnering with Jack and talking to him as I left, he initiated both of those. The truth really is that I didn’t want to speak to him Saturday afternoon—not that I had to arrange secret rendezvouses because I couldn’t get enough of him.

  That came later in the weekend, but no one here knows anything about that, and more than ever, I know that’s how it needs to stay.

  I can tell from the heat under my skin that my ears are blazing with a crimson glow. I’m so mad, that if I say anything remotely close to what I want to say, those words will subsequently prove very, very career-limiting. And it appears as though if Cindy and Laura Lynn have anything to say about it, my career is already being limited—right here before my wide eyes and my hotly-blushing ears.

  “Cindy, I…” I falter almost as soon as I begin.

  My boss’s curtain call interrupts me. She holds her hand up in a very dismissive manner, palm towards my face.

  “Save it, Kate. It’s clear what you’re doing and I’m not in the mood to hear any excuses. As for your action items on Jack’s list, I’m removing you from the zoo opening. Laura Lynn can work on that with Jack. You will just be writing press releases and performing other administrative functions. All of your work assignments will come from me, and you will turn in everything you do to me before it goes out, then you will wait on my approval. Do I make myself clear?”

  I cannot cry in front of Cindy. I simply cannot. She will see my emotions as weakness and will continue to bully me as long as we both work in this office.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Please let this end quickly, I silently beg. I have got to get out of these four walls before any tears begin to slide their way down the sides of my nose. I haven’t been this choked up in a professional setting, ever.

  “We’re through, Kate. Logan, you can go, too. Laura Lynn, I need you to stay behind so we can discuss your new role on the zoo opening.” I walk to the door in three steps. As my hand wraps around the doorknob and tugs, Cindy lets one more dagger fly—and its aim is true.

  “Let’s get Jack on the phone so we can apprise him of Kate’s reassignment on the team.”

  The door hasn’t even clicked shut behind me when the tears begin to escape, large balloons which then turn to continuous ribbons as they flow over the skin of my cheeks. The best word to describe my feelings at this moment is disbelief. I simply cannot believe what has just happened. Each volley of Cindy’s words felt as stinging as an open-palmed slap to the cheek.

  I feel marked.

  I am marked. Marked by the realization that some people feel that stabbing others in the back is a perfectly acceptable short cut to boosting yourself up. Two of those people are behind the ivory door I’ve just walked out of. The one who isn’t a part of their mold slips out of the office and lays a tentative hand on my shoulder.

  “Kate, I’m sorry. She’s…well, yeah… I’m just sorry.”

  He didn’t say much, but I know exactly what he means. I nod my head and nearly choke as I swallow with measured deliberateness. “Thanks, Logan,” I snuffle.

  Head bowed, spirit broken, I head back in the direction of my cube. I run into a body because I’m not paying attention.

  “Katie?” It’s Al. He takes one look at me and says, “To my office. Right now.”

  I’m not sure if I ever want to step either of my espadrilles into any office at Brown & Company again today—or ever, for that matter. But Al is the CEO, the Zookeeper, and if he asks me to take some action, it doesn’t come with an RSVP-regrets option.

  Al does an immediate about-face and heads back to his office. I trail in his wake like an Alcatraz escapee trying to swim undetected in the night. He allows me to walk in the room first, then closes the door swiftly behind him.

  “Katie? What’s the matter? Did something happen to your parents on the cruise?”

  “No.” My voice cracks out of my throat, hoarse and barely above a whisper.

  “Then what’s the matter, Katie? I don’t often run into employees crying in the hall, so when I do, it concerns me.” Al perches on the corner of his desk, close to the chair in which I sit.

  “I probably shouldn’t talk about it. I don’t want to get in any more trouble.” I can’t bring myself to make eye contact with Al. I’m hurt and embarrassed, and at least Al’s Persian rug won’t judge me, so I prefer to focus on it.

  “Trouble? Katie, what are you talking about?”

  I don’t even know how to begin.

  He continues. “I’m the president of this company, Katie. If something’s going on, I need to know about it.”

  He’s right and I do agree with him in theory. In practice, it’s hard to get my words together and out of my mouth. I choose them carefully. “Well, it’s Cindy. Laura Lynn told her some things about me that weren’t entirely accurate, but Cindy believed them, and now she’s very unhappy with
me. I didn’t mean to start crying about it. I guess I just was really surprised by what happened. I’ll get control of myself, Al. You don’t have to worry.”

  “Worry? I don’t think someone just being unhappy with you would make you cry and not be able to look me in the eye. I’ve known you a long time, Kate. I held you in my arms on the day you were born.”

  I take in a deep breath, let the air fill all the way to my diaphragm, then exhale slowly. He has known me my whole life, and he deserves my honesty. Not because he’s my boss, but because he genuinely cares about me.

  “Cindy yelled at me in front of our whole team and then she took me off what I am supposed to be doing for the zoo project, and she gave those duties to Laura Lynn. She then told me I would be drafting press releases and any other administrative roles that need to be filled. She said she would assign all my work to me and check everything for accuracy before distribution and completion.”

  I will just have to chalk it up to the grace of God that I don’t begin to cry again as I relay the situation to Al. Finally, I feel strong enough to unbend my neck and lift my head to look at Al instead of his rug.

  “That’s pretty serious, Kate. What were her reasons?”

  “As best I could figure out, Al, Laura Lynn told her that I hijacked the presentation at Lone Star Consulting on Thursday, and then Cindy said she thought I spent too much time with Jack Cooper on Saturday, but that’s not true.”

  “Not true?” He cocks one eyebrow upward. “What do you mean?”

  “I was mad at Jack then. I didn’t even want to talk to him at all that afternoon. He kept trying to talk to me.”

  “Katie, you weren’t speaking to a client?” Al’s tone tells me he isn’t happy to hear this.

  “No, Al, it’s not like that. See…” Danger ahead. Quit while you can, Cormick. You don’t want to go there with Al. “It’s a long story, that’s all.”

  I can tell that Al senses that something is beginning to spoil in Denmark but may not have gone completely rotten yet. Instead, he surprises me by moving to another topic.

  “So, what happened with the presentation?”

  I explain the basics of that morning’s events.

  “So, it sounds like you were better prepared?” Al is methodically working through this situation, much like a seasoned prosecutor.

  “Al, I want to do a good job here. I want to have a career here.”

  He reaches out and pats my clasped hands once, then twice. “I know, Katie. Although I think the world of you, I would not have risked our personal relationship by bringing you to my company if I didn’t know for certain that you would be successful here on your own merit.”

  Al’s reassurance flows over my raw, edgy nerves and bruised ego like a balm. “Now, what’s this about Cindy yelling at you?”

  “She asked Laura Lynn, Logan, and me to come to her office after Jack sent out an e-mail to the whole team this morning.”

  Al nods his head. “I got that e-mail. I know what you’re talking about. He copied me on it.”

  I continue. “We got to her office, and she launched into me about not being a team player. Really, I’m sorry for crying in the hallway, Al. I just couldn’t help it. I’ve learned my lesson, though. It won’t happen again.”

  “I understand. We’re all human, Kate, and no one likes to be snapped at. I’m going to have to talk to Cindy about this. I don’t tolerate disrespect like that, and I have higher expectations of my managers.”

  I’m sure Al means his proactive stand to be a good course of action, but in truth, it scares me to the core. If Cindy thinks I ran straight out of her office and ratted to Al, I may as well go polish up my resume—after such a short time at this job.

  “Don’t worry, Katie. I’m not going to let her hold it against you that you talked to me. I’ve had to practically pull every word out of you. If you feel that she’s giving you a hard time because we’ve talked, you let me know.” He pats my hands again. “Now, what’s this ‘long story’ about you and Jack?”

  That’s why he let it drop so easily earlier in the conversation. He had a plan to bring it back up.

  “Al, I don’t think it’s something I can really tell my boss.”

  “Well, how about if I take off my ‘CEO hat’?” He picks an imaginary hat up from the top of his head. “And instead, I’ll wear my ‘loving godparent hat’?” Now, he mimics placing another hat back on the crown of his slightly balding pate.

  I’m still not entirely convinced that spilling these beans is the best course of action, but the look in his eyes is all teddy bear. I have never been able to say ‘no’ to Al.

  “I got to the ranch early on Saturday to help him set up. While we were getting everything ready, I noticed this large mirror hanging on the wall. It turns out that it belonged to his mother, and he started to tell me about her.”

  Al cut in. “Kate, he never talks about Marianne.”

  “That’s what he said. But Saturday, he started and just couldn’t stop. He told me the whole story. Anyway, we got caught up in the moment and he kissed me. But afterward, he was kind of a jerk to me. So, I didn’t want to talk to him—that’s how I know Cindy misread the situation.”

  Al stands up from his perch on the corner of the desk and actually claps, for some strange reason. “Well, I’ll be. So, will working on the zoo project with him be awkward?”

  I give a sheepish grin. “Do you promise you have your ‘godparent hat’ on?”

  “Cross my heart, Katie Bug.”

  He called me Katie Bug. He must mean it.

  “Well, at church on Sunday, I’m singing, and I see him sitting right in front of me, in the third row. Of course, Paul White is also in the third row, one section over,” I add off-handedly.

  “Oh, that’s right, the big date with Paul. How did that go?”

  “Positively awful. I was so excited to date someone that seemed to be a nice guy that wouldn’t lie to me and cheat on me like Mark did. But instead, his mind went from first date to happily-ever-after in a matter of hours. I thought he was going to propose in the car on the way home. To do the evening justice, it really deserves its own story. Maybe I will write a book about it someday. Truth is stranger than fiction, Al.”

  “So true Katie. You can tell me some other time, then. I must admit, I am intrigued now.”

  “Okay. Some other time.” I become more animated as I start back to the story about Jack. “So, like I said, Jack shows up Sunday out of the clear blue. I recognize immediately that this is a big deal, because you and I had just talked on Friday night about how his dad saves a seat for him at First Central, but he never shows up.”

  Al nods vigorously. I keep going and tell him about lunch.

  I can see clearly in Al’s eyes that he’s as sucked into my real-life drama as he says Susan gets when she watches a chick flick.

  “So, we go to that Mexican place with the big patio, and we have a great time. But then I go on that weird date with Paul. Al, there’s only one way to describe it—buh-zarre. It’s beyond just ‘bizarre.’ It is worthy of two syllables.”

  Al chuckles. I have shaken the curse of Cindy. I am happy again, and it’s because I’m talking about Jack.

  “But when I get home, there’s a message from Jack on my machine. I call him back and we agree to meet up the next day. He picks me up and we have a great day back at the ranch. He brought sparklers, Al,” I add, as though this says it all.

  Breathless, I finally stop talking.

  “Let me get this straight.” Al pushes his reading glasses northward up the bridge of his nose. “You’re dating Jack Cooper.”

  “Sssh!” Great. He’s going to jinx this for me.

  “Katie, I’ve got to put my ‘CEO hat’ back on for a second. Jack is a client. Before I throw in my two cents’ worth, I’d like to know how you think you’re going to handle this?”

  Ugh. I knew he couldn’t leave that hat off for long. If the tables were turned, I’d ask the same question.
But, still, this is awkward, to say the least.

  “Well, we talked about it and decided that we’re going to be very discreet about it for the next three weeks until the zoo opens. When we’re no longer collaborating, we’ll take it from there.”

  He studies me rather seriously for a few seconds. “Katie, I love you like my own daughter and I’m thrilled for you because I want you to be happy and I’ve just seen that sparkle in your eyes. But you need to be careful here, and I’m not even speaking of the business side of it—and I have a lot of concerns there. But Jack Cooper isn’t one of Austin’s most eligible bachelors for nothing. I don’t want you to get your heart broken.”

  “I don’t think it will, Al.”

  “Sure you don’t, Katie, no one thinks like that. I like him—you know that—but you still need to watch out. And this can’t get out in the office. You’re actually not breaking any of our HR rules, because he doesn’t work here, but it’s not a good precedent for me to condone.”

  “I understand.”

  “Okay, I’ve got a conference call I’ve got to hop on in a few minutes, so we’ve got to end our talk here. I also will follow up with Cindy right away, so don’t worry about anything from this morning.”

  I stand up, smooth the wrinkles out of my linen skirt and head for the door.

  “Oh, and Kate?”

  “Yes, Al?”

  “Make sure he closes his eyes when he kisses you. Never trust someone who doesn’t lose themselves in a good kiss.” I can see that this man, married to a good woman for thirty-five years, is completely serious. “Now, scoot.”

  The ten minutes in Al’s office have changed my outlook on today for the better. By the time I get back to my desk, there are two e-mails in my inbox. One is from Cindy, announcing the new plan, full of much of the…ahem…vigor she displayed in her office to the entire team.

  According to Outlook’s time/date stamp, about three minutes after Cindy’s missive was e-mailed, a note from Jack, sent just to me, arrived in my inbox.

  To: Kate_Cormick@browncomm.com

  From:jcooper2@lonestarconsulting.com

  Subject:RE: Wrap-Up From This Weekend