On Wednesday, my small group meets for our monthly casual dinner instead of getting together at Jana’s house. All day long, I’ve been stealing glances at the clock in the bottom right corner of my computer screen. I’m looking forward to an evening out with friends. It’s too quiet in the apartment with Mimi gone—though Dijon has tried to pick up the slack by barking at the neighbors.
I pull up to the funky Mexican restaurant we like to meet up at on Barton Springs and am surprised to find a front-row spot in the tiny front parking lot. There’s always a crowd here, and I normally wind up parking under the trees in back and practically hiking to the front door.
I get stuck behind the trunk of a 1957 Chevy as I try to push my way through the waiting room and over to where my friends are seated. The back end of the classic car functions as a unique chips-and-salsa bar and is always surrounded by people waiting for a table.
After I finally push through the sea of hungry diners, I see my small group in the back room, seated underneath one of the restaurant’s many velvet Elvis paintings. The perimeter of their very large table is tightly packed with the people who arrived before me. There’s one chair left at the far end of the table next to Christina. She’s been a member of the group almost as long as I have, but I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. “Hey, Kate—how’s it going?” she says and shifts over to the right so I have room to scoot by and claim my glittery vinyl-upholstered chair.
“It’s been a rough week, to be honest, Christina, but I have a feeling a plate of tacos and some friends will go a long way to making things better.”
She smiles at me. “Of course it will, Kate. Let me know if I can help, okay?”
“I will. Thanks for the offer.” I scan the table. All the familiar faces are here except one. “Where’s Jana?”
“Oh, she can’t make it tonight. She sent me an e-mail earlier today saying she was meeting an old friend for dinner.” Christina dunks a tortilla chip in a bowl of creamy jalapeno dip. “I think she said he was actually her ex-boyfriend from a long time ago. Maybe she won’t be in the singles group much longer, huh?”
The dark-haired girl gives me a sly wink and playfully elbows me in the ribs, but I don’t feel a thing. My heart is melting like the queso dip sitting in front of me. Jana’s dinner date has to be Jack.
We broke up forty-eight hours ago, and now he’s having dinner with his old girlfriend?
I can’t help but remember my conversation in Al’s office last week when he admonished me about Jack. I brushed Al’s warning off so quickly. But he was right. Jack Cooper can—and apparently, will—go out with any woman in Austin.
But he said he loved me.
So why is he already out at dinner with his ex-girlfriend?
Our waitress comes down to my end of the table and taps me on the shoulder. “Are you ready to order, ma’am?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore. I seem to have lost my appetite.”
17
“When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future.”
--Gorilla researcher Dian Fossey, in her last journal entry before her death
* * *
Now it’s Friday, and although I’m staying busy on my new team here at work and mainlining antacids to keep my stomach acid levels low, nothing has the power to alter that sense of drifting I have had since I heard Jack’s footsteps walk off the deck at Mozart’s Monday night.
I have questioned my decision to push Jack out of my life at least once an hour since I decided that was what I needed to do. I’ve questioned why everything this week had to happen—the demotion at work, breaking up with Jack, getting used by Mark, Mimi leaving, and Jack going out with Jana. I have more questions in my life this week than a Jeopardy! episode.
I submitted an anonymous request through my church’s online prayer request portal last night. I can’t seem to find the answers for myself. Maybe someone else can help me with talking to God about this.
Or, maybe I already have the answers but I won’t accept them because I want a different outcome so badly. It feels like I don’t have enough faith.
In short, I feel extremely human these days.
I decide to head home for the weekend around five o’clock. I stop off at the mall to do a little retail therapy, so it’s almost six-thirty before I officially make it home. My cell phone rings as I am pulling through the gate of my apartment complex.
“Kate? It’s Logan. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure, Logan, what’s up?” I didn’t even know he had my cell phone number.
“Kate, I need your help. I’m at the zoo and something’s gone wrong for tonight.” I turn into my reserved parking spot under the carport and put my car in park. I decide to just sit here with the air conditioner running while I talk to Logan.
“But Logan, I’m not on the team anymore. You should see if Laura Lynn can help you.”
“The problem is Laura Lynn. I can’t go to her. And I can’t go to Cindy because she doesn’t listen to me. She has Laura Lynn on a pedestal. You know what I mean, right?”
I raise my eyebrows as high as they will go. “There’s a reason why I’m not on your team anymore, Logan, so yes, I know. What’s happened?”
He lowers his voice to a whisper, and I hear people talking in the background. “You know how we planned to have the VIP media reception room?”
“Yes. All the details for that are in the folder I gave you and the media kits should have been delivered Tuesday morning.
“She threw those in the trash. She said that the media needed to do their own legwork so that no two stories looked or sounded the same. So now there’s nothing in the VIP room except some sodas and snacks. Everyone’s talking about it and it’s my job to staff the room and make sure everyone has what they need. Except I have nothing to give them. Laura Lynn is ignoring all my pages on the walkie-talkie.”
The Queen Chimp threw my media guide in the trash?
I crank up the A/C in the car another level to cool my anger. I spent the majority of my time on the media kit and the design of the VIP media area. I surveyed my local media contacts as to what they wanted in the kit and then created a perfect-bound book and a memory stick with electronic stock photos, stock quotes, and FAQs about every habitat in the zoo. The kit is comprehensive in the information it possesses, not to mention the time it took to compile and the amount it cost to put together.
“So…they’re in the trash now?”
“No, I pulled them out and they’re in a box in my cube. I sealed up the box so Laura Lynn wouldn’t see.”
Smart young man. Laura Lynn’s idea makes no sense because the whole idea of an event like this is to make it easier—not more complicated—for the media to put together a story. Giving them quotes, photos and research sets the baseline for a reporter on deadline and helps them fill in the blanks when writing their own stories.
“Well, what do you need me for, Logan?”
“I need you to bring them up here.”
I panic. I can’t go up to the grand opening. “Logan, I don’t want to get in trouble. I’ve been specifically told that my help is not needed at the zoo opening.”
“Kate, please.”
Without those media guides, Brown & Company’s reputation as a PR firm will be compromised, and Logan and I both know it. The right thing to do is to go to Logan’s desk, pick up the box, and deliver it to the zoo. “I’ll see what I can do, Logan. I’ll be up there in a little bit.”
“Thanks, Kate. I miss having you on the team. You’re a good person. Here comes Laura Lynn. I’ve gotta run.” He hangs up the phone.
I put my car in reverse and head back out of the apartment complex. If God really doesn’t give us more than we can handle, this will be a true test of what my maximum endurance level is.
The box of media guides is sitting under Logan’s desk, right where he said it would
be. I decide to take the portable dolly out of the closet since the load is rather heavy.
Every mile I drive and every corner I turn makes me increasingly more nervous. My palms begin to sweat and slip on the steering wheel and I notice my heart beating a little faster. I haven’t seen or talked to Jack since Monday night. The chance of my running into him is slim, as he’s very busy, and I plan to just be in-and-out in order to drop off these guides. Even so, the possibility of seeing him, even in passing, fills me with fear. What do you say to the person you know you love…but you can’t be with?
Once I’m at the zoo, I unload the trunk and try to keep my head down as I roll the dolly up to the front gate. Even after I was removed from the team, I didn’t have the heart to throw out my staff pass for the event. I picked it up when I went back for the media guides and with it, I am able to walk through the main gate with no trouble at all.
“Katie!”
Great. I’ve been noticed. And by Al, of all people. “I was just getting ready to call you.”
“Really?” I wonder why. “Logan called and said the media guides were left back at the office.”
“I know. I talked with Logan earlier today about a lot of things. I was going to call you and ask you to come back up here and be a part of this event that you were instrumental in planning.”
“Al, I’m not dressed to work. I’m wearing capri pants and espadrilles. I’ll trip and fall on a hedgehog. I’m just here to make this delivery for Logan.”
“Katie, I’m wearing Bermuda shorts. Wasn’t it your idea to make this a casual event? Besides, there are people who want you here today.” He takes the dolly out of my hand. “Come over here with me.”
Al heads to a park bench just outside of the bird area. Toucans and parrots squawk at us as we sit down.
“Katie, I owe you an apology. Instead of putting a stop to office gossip with the offender, I punished you. That wasn’t right. Several of your co-workers at Brown & Company, associates from Lone Star, and even your clients, have sent me e-mails and called me to tell me what an asset to our firm that you are.”
My spine straightens a little bit, and a small smile turns upwards at the corner of my mouth. It’s nice to know some people went to the trouble to give kudos on my behalf to the president of the company. “Well, I didn’t expect you to say that, so thanks, Al.”
“Nothin’ doin’, Katie. I told you the spot with Tom’s team was just temporary. I have a new position to offer you. Your job is safe. I know I made you worry this week, but your leaving Brown & Company was never in question in my mind—even if it didn’t sound that way when we talked. I just had to figure out some details.” He claps a hand on my shoulder. “I’d like you to become my Executive Assistant.”
“You want me to be your secretary?” I’m a little confused. I have all the respect in the world for administrative assistants, but I don’t have any training or experience for such a job.
“No, my Executive Assistant. My right-hand. I’ve been wanting someone for a while now who can help me market to new clients better and who will also improve our relationships with our media partners. Someone who thinks and acts strategically—and can give us insights and plans that other firms can’t. Coming from the journalism side yourself, you know exactly what the media need to do their job well. And your work on this zoo project has shown me that you have a real gift for marketing and branding. What do you think, Katie? It’s a promotion. I told you we’d get you out of that Assistant Account Executive role as soon as possible.”
Wow. I don’t know what to say. “Really, Al?”
“Really. Effective Monday.” Al puts his arm around my shoulder and gives me a paternal squeeze. “See, Katie, sometimes you just have to have patience.”
“Yes, but…” I know I shouldn’t start that sentence as soon as the first syllable escapes.
“But what, Katie?”
Oh, well, Al knows the whole first part of the saga anyway. And there’s no one I’d trust more to share a confidence with or to get advice from.
“Well, Jack and I broke up. After getting moved on Monday, I prayed a lot and I felt like I needed to be patient. I thought it was with respect to Jack. But what if I was wrong? What if that little voice in my head was talking about the job?”
Al stands up from the bench. “I’ve got to go take care of some things before the gate opens, Katie. And you need to get those into the media room.” He kicks the box of media guides playfully as he walks away. “If you were wrong, Katie, you serve a God who can make it right.”
It’s five minutes until seven o’clock when the gates will open for this special sneak-peek evening. That means I have to get these books in the media room and laid out pronto. I take off briskly through the park, Al’s last words to me still lingering in my head.
He’s right and I know it. It’s too bad that Jack will be too busy tonight for me to see him, much less say anything.
“Kate, you made it.” Logan’s face melts with relief when I walk into the media room. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Where do you want me to put them?”
“On that bamboo table.”
Logan and I arrange the media guides on the table, then rearrange a few other items around the room to make the layout more practical for traffic flow.
“Okay, looks good to me.” I survey our handiwork. There’s food in the corner, media guides on the main table, and lots of marketing trinkets and merchandise all along the back wall. “Do you need anything else from me?”
“No, I think I’ve got it under control. Thanks again, Kate.”
“No problem, Logan. Thank you.” Knowing he is one of the co-workers that Al referenced earlier, makes me move him off the Chimp roster for good. It would have taken a lot of courage for this relatively shy young man to speak up on my behalf, especially when he still has to work with Cindy and Laura Lynn on a daily basis.
I decide that I will head out and see the full park. I know every random trivia fact about the Capital of Texas Zoo, due to writing the FAQs and media guide copy, but even so, I’ve never actually seen inside the zoo.
I think I’ll head to the Marianne Cooper Primate Habitat first.
In spite of all the animal noises floating on the air, the zoo is very peaceful. I assume the gates have opened, but no one has made it this far back yet. I’m pretty much alone as I pass the elephants and giraffes. The large cat exhibit is coming up on my left, and a lazy tiger stretches powerful limbs as I walk past.
Truly, I’m in awe of nature as I walk through. There are birds, animals, and foliage all over. This is the peaceful moment I’ve been waiting for during the past week.
I don’t know what I’m going to say if I see Jack, but I have to be prepared to say something. I realize now that I was supposed to be patient, but that I applied the principle to the wrong crisis last week.
Al’s right, though. Nothing that has been done cannot be undone. I know in my heart that I am supposed to be together with Jack. There is faith, there is hope, and then there is love.
Just across a small wooden bridge is the primate habitat. Standing on the highest point of the bridge, I can clearly see the archway that marks the entrance. It says “Welcome to the Marianne Cooper Primate Habitat” in large, brushed chrome letters. Standing under the archway is one solitary person.
Jack.
My heart skips a beat and then leaps up into my throat.
What do I say? I utter a silent, breathless prayer that my words and actions will be the right ones. No more mistakes. No more misunderstandings.
I walk up behind Jack and summon all my courage to tap him on the shoulder. He jumps.
“Kate!”
“Hi, Jack.” I can barely speak over the lump in my throat.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming.” His voice is tentative, as though he wonders if he’s speaking to a mirage.
“I wasn’t. But Logan needed something he’d forgotten at the office. And th
en when I got here, Al said that he was going to call me. He offered me a new position at work. I’m going to be his Executive Assistant and focus on our new client marketing efforts and strengthening our relationships with our media partners.”
“That sounds like a great opportunity for you. What happened to change his mind?”
“He said he realized that he had acted against me, instead of stopping the people who were gossiping about me.”
“I respect a man who will admit when he’s wrong.”
There’s my opportunity. I take it and pray for the best.
“What about a woman who will admit when she’s wrong?”
He looks at me quizzically.
“Jack, I was wrong the other night. I knew I needed to be patient, and I took that to mean that I needed to slow down what was happening between you and me.” I cannot wait another minute for this tension between us to dissolve, so I begin to speak faster. “I realized today that the voice in my head and in my heart was telling me I needed to be patient about the situation at work. I don’t want to lose you. I have been in love with you since the first time I met you, I think.”
“When I told you that your shirt was unbuttoned?”
I can’t keep my laughter inside. Suddenly, everything feels less stressful.
“Okay, maybe not right then, although I did appreciate the heads-up.” I take one step closer to him. “I can’t lose you, Jack. Tell me that this can be made right again.”
He is silent for a moment. My muscles begin to tense up again as a pause settles heavily into that space between us.
All of a sudden, Jack sweeps me into his arms and kisses me possessively. Liquid fire pours through my veins and my heart goes thunk-thunk-thunk as it flips over and over and over again. I am lost in his kiss and in this moment.
Remembering Al’s earlier admonition never to date someone who doesn’t close his eyes when he kisses, I peel one eye open just a small sliver. Jack’s eyes are closed tightly.
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