Chances Come

by Ney Mitch

  “What do you mean?”

  “I cannot help but believe that it has enhanced her desire for human attachment, for connecting to others and wishing to display it more often.”

  “I too have noted the marked difference in her,” Mr. Darcy gathered, as we all sat down in the parlor and tea was brought to us. “When I had first met her, at the assembly room, I noticed her serene and gentle manner straightaway. However, that same serenity led to her having a delicacy to everything she did, to the point of it feeling hidden. Yet, now, all seems to be changed. She seems to be more open in her manner.”

  “Whatever is the source that brought out the change,” Colonel Fitzwilliam continued, “I am glad of it. Life is short; one should not spend the entirety of it and not ever display one’s feelings. And she has discovered the beautiful delicate balance of showing sentiment without exposing herself too much very well. It is a rare talent to find. Yet, she has.”

  We all gave each other a look. Colonel Fitzwilliam’s praise of Jane did not go unnoticed by any of us. We all felt his affection for her, in that moment more than ever. However, the silence between us all was so apparent that even the Colonel realized it.

  Remembering himself, he straightened up his waistcoat.

  “Forgive me,” he apologized, “perhaps I am talking too much.”

  “Not at all, Richard,” Mr. Darcy replied, hiding his grin, “not at all.”

  Chapter 11

  Two Tacticians

  Soon, Jane came down again, and the Colonel began to tell us stories of his time in the army. As we listened, Jane, my aunt, uncle, and I were all amazed at his stories.

  “It is now a great pity that Kitty did not come down here,” Jane said, “for she loves hearing stories about soldiers and their experiences.”

  “She admires the look of them in uniform more than anything else,” I pointed out, “yet, all of us women have been guilty of that during one time or another.”

  At this, Mr. Darcy gave me a look, and I wondered if he was thinking about Mr. Wickham.

  “I never understand the impulse there,” Colonel Fitzwilliam pondered. “For, when in our regimentals, we men look no more regal than in our traditional manner and dress.”

  “When in uniform, you look as if you are heroes,” Jane admitted. “That is what some women think. Therefore, her mind flies off in flights of fancy and she imagines you in the midst of battle. Despite that, in battle, there is nothing so very glorious about it, for it must be terrifying, as you have narrated to us.”

  “You have arrived at a great truth,” Colonel Fitzwilliam asserted. “For yes, the battle is often spoken about in glorious terms. Yet, there is nothing glorious about it when one is amidst the fray.”

  “I can only imagine the horror that you endure,” Aunt Gardiner remarked.

  “Do not imagine it, madam. For I do not want you to dwell on such terror. I have regaled Miss Bennet and Mis Elizabeth with my tales many times as it is. I would desire you to always think of happier things. For example, tomorrow, my cousin and Darcy’s sister will come. And then, soon afterwards, we have a Christmas ball to attend.”

  “We are both excited,” Aunt Gardiner remarked, “we can assure you.”

  “Sir Aleck Granger is known for having delightful balls,” Uncle Gardiner said, “and forgive me for getting overexcited, but it is just such a delight. Sir Aleck, from what I have heard from Mr. Darcy, has a lack of disdain for people of different ranks than himself. He is known for being a sociable sort of fellow, with openness to him.”

  “If you are referring to his lack of prejudice towards those who have a trade, you are correct,” Colonel Fitzwilliam answered. “He understands the benefits that can come from associating with those of the less prestigious classes. He is sensible in that manner. Truly, one time I even saw him dance with a Negro woman.”

  “A darkie?” I was surprised. “Truly?”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “What is that like?” I asked, curious. “I have never seen a darkie before. Sorry, I must sound like a country girl who lacks a wide acquaintance with the ways of the world.”

  “It is not your fault that propriety has left you without many experiences and adventures that we men can obtain,” Mr. Darcy said. “Sometimes I wonder, if in our desire to keep women safe, are we withholding you all from having experiences of your own and being allowed to shape your own points of view on things.”

  “That often is a tragic side effect to being kept always locked in a tower.”

  We turned to the person who had uttered that last sentence, and we saw Kitty standing in the doorway.

  “Yes, I have noticed it as well.”

  When seeing our surprise at her sudden appearance, Kitty flinched.

  “Did I startle you all? Sorry. And that is very much a new sensation.”

  “Kitty,” Aunt Gardiner said, “we thought you were resting.”

  “I was, but I was stricken by a harsh curiosity to know what you all were speaking about. I was, therefore, desirous of company, I suppose. May I join the group?”

  “Yes, of course,” Mr. Darcy replied. “We have tea and cakes for you as well.”

  “Delightful,” she said, walking energetically into the room and sitting down. “I love to eat. Truly, it is one of my favorite activities to do.”

  “Kitty, you confess to anything,” Aunt Gardiner said with a laugh.

  “Well, I like to think I am harmless, so yes,” Kitty answered, as I poured her some tea. She took a generous sip. “Also, I really did not wish to interrupt the conversation in such a way. I am happy that I came down to hear it though, for I have often thought of that matter myself.”

  “You have?” I asked.

  “Yes. Mr. Darcy speaks of a vital point. We women are like men. We all wish to be seen—and not in the vain sense. We wish to be seen because we wish to matter. And to be of use in the world in some way. We women have the same dream as men, I believe. If men do have that dream.”

  “We do,” Uncle Gardiner confirmed, “the dream to go on a wild adventure and see where the road takes one?”

  “Yes,” Kitty responded, eagerly. “That is the dream! It is to meet the unknown and marvel at it. While I like being kept safe from many things, as society commands me to be, sometimes, it is good to be given a wider experience with the ways of the world.”

  “I also feel like it would give us the ability to be more independent and make us less burdensome on the men in our family,” I added. “If we were allowed to go out into society, and discover ourselves, we could become more equipped with facing obstacles better, rather than sitting around and doing nothing when crisis strikes.”

  “Are you referring to when our father passed away?” Jane asked.

  “Yes. When father died, everything was left out of our hands, and we were forced to wonder what we could do. Nothing was in our power. But, perhaps, if we were allowed to be granted more access to things, then we would have known how to deal with such tragedy in a better light. If the world had permitted, we each could have gotten a profession and earned our livings. We even could have appealed to the law ourselves to see if we could buy Longbourn and escape the entail. We could do something. Anything.”

  “If experiences had allowed us,” Kitty said. “But, when thinking about it, we never had the ability to learn about those sorts of things because we were never allowed to face that sort of problem. No one ever trusted us to deal with it. The freedom from being exposed to life’s harshness is lovely in its own way.”

  “But too much of anything is dangerous,” Aunt Gardiner confirmed. “Being exposed to too much tragedy weakens the soul, while never facing it leads to one becoming impotent.”

  “Precisely,” I agreed. “A delicate balance must be achieved.”

  “The question then becomes,” Jane asked, “what is that delicate balance? Who would be the ones to define it, to explain it, and then who would be the one to put it into practice?”

  We all look
ed around, at each other. For a second, we felt so naked, so very exposed. We lay bare under the ignorance of knowing a problem, but not knowing the solution to it.

  After all, it is enough to complain, but not enough to complain and have no solution.

  “Did we just face a situation where the problem is real enough, but the answer can never fully be real itself?” Colonel Fitzwilliam asked.

  Suddenly, a servant entered and announced that supper was ready.

  We all breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Ah, thank the lord for that,” I admitted. “I worried that it would never happen.”

  When we sat down, we all spoke of mundane and casual subjects.

  Anything to remove the disquiet that the previous conversation had on us all.

  I was placed next to Kitty, and on the other side of me was my Aunt Gardiner, who was talking to Jane. This seating arrangement suited me fine, for it gave me a moment to speak to Kitty.

  “I am glad you are come, Kitty.”

  “So am I. Also, if you wish to speak to me of what Jane already mentioned, then there is no need. I heard her already.”

  “What did she speak to you about?”

  “She was worried that I would be nervous in coming. Which I am. Lizzy, I did not foresee this sort of invitation. Especially at Christmastime. Yet, she also instructed me to try and ease my way into a conversation with no forced flirtation. At first, I was upset at her instruction, but now I see that I perhaps was being a little proud. I feel too nervous to even flirt very much.”

  “I am happy that you adhere to her advice very well. However, there is something else which I wish to request of you.”

  “More corrections?” Kitty rolled her eyes. “Lizzy, in truth, there is only so much criticism that I can withstand before my confidence is shaken and I will wish to cry.”

  “No, it is not that. Kitty, you are a very good sort of girl, who just flirts sometimes. I do not despise you. What I ask for you now is a favor.”

  “A favor? You never ask me for one of those.”

  “That is good. Since I don’t often ask for favors means that I am due for asking for one now.” I lowered my voice even more. “Kitty, it is about Mr. Darcy.”

  Kitty stole a glance at Mr. Darcy, who was sipping his soup.

  “Mr. Darcy?” she whispered even lower.

  “Yes. His requesting for your presence here is to show you how his disposition has enhanced, and he is now kinder. He is changed, Kitty, very much so. He wants you to see that he is more generous and that he has developed openness to his nature. Therefore, always be kind to him in return. You have done very well so far in how you speak with him. Yet, I just request for you to always be that way. And do not be afraid to ever speak with him. Being strong and silent is just his habit. He is not against making conversation with you.”

  “I thought that he hated me, Lizzy. Why has he changed now?”

  “He did not hate you. He simply was not used to you and was not accustomed to a nature such as yours. He was sometimes encouraged to despise families such as ours. Kitty, for me, as a favor, always forgive him and give him a second chance.”

  Kitty gave me a shrewd look.

  “Why?” she asked. “Of course, I will do my best to always try and converse with him. However, why do you ask me this so much in particular? Lizzy, what are you not telling me?”

  I bit my lip.

  “I cannot say much, for now,” I responded.

  “But there is something that you are not telling me.”

  I put down my soup spoon. “Oh, all right. Yes, there is more to this story.”

  “I knew it.”

  Kitty went back to enjoying the delicious meal.

  When the meal had ended, it was time for our aunt and uncle to leave.

  “I was hoping,” Mr. Darcy requested, “that you both would join us tonight, for there shall be a production of ‘The Way of the World’ at The Covent Garden. I was hoping that you all would desire to see it?”

  “We have heard wonderful things about that production,” Uncle Gardiner remarked.

  “Oh, I would love to go and see it,” Aunt Gardiner added, “can we attend, dear?”

  “I do not believe that we have any fixed engagements, therefore, I see no obstacle to it. We would love to attend.”

  “Delightful. We look forward to your company within the next two days. Unless, Mrs. Gardiner, you would be willing to return to Grosvenor Street tomorrow. For my sister comes then, and I know that you wish to visit your nieces often, as a chaperone. Unless that is too soon for me to request your presence?”

  “I would love to come tomorrow in the afternoon,” Aunt Gardiner said, “to make certain that I am doing right by their mother. And I would love to meet Miss Darcy. I have heard tales of her talent.”

  “Yes, I am proud of her.”

  We parted ways, and then it was time for Colonel Fitzwilliam to depart.

  “Duty calls me back to the training grounds,” the Colonel explained, “for a man must earn a living.”

  “When will you return?” Jane asked, despite the forwardness.

  “I wish to visit tomorrow as well, and be with your company when my cousin arrives,” he responded, very strongly. “But I must work for the full day tomorrow. I do not desire to. It is merely obligation. Yet, I shall be with you all in two nights’ time. I shall arrive in time for dinner with you all.”

  “That would be delightful,” Kitty encouraged. “We look forward to seeing much of your family together.”

  “As we enjoy the company of you three,” Colonel Fitzwilliam assured her. “If a plain old Colonel is allowed to give you some advice, then I shall. When my cousin arrives, do not stand on ceremony and only speak of the roads and the weather. Such discussions will not make her comfortable. Be very much yourselves, be merry, and be willing to talk. It shall put her at ease.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam gave one last look at Jane.

  “And so, I leave you now. But to return in two days.”

  And thus, he was the next departure that we saw ride off.

  “Whatever shall we do now?” I asked Mr. Darcy teasingly, with my arched eyebrow. “For we are now forsaken by some company. Can you withstand having only us remain?”

  “It is a trial that I gladly take.” He smiled, taking my arm in his as we all reentered the house. “And Miss Kitty, do you need more time sorting out your things in your new room? Or is all well?”

  “Well, I must, but I wish to request your advice first,” she admitted. “I have brought up two gowns and I was wondering which would be the best one to wear for the ball? I was hoping, since we are to mingle with the circles that you are most familiar with, you would give me your advice on which to choose.”

  “Your gowns!” Mr. Darcy smacked his forehead. His remark was so sharp that we all jumped. “I had quite forgotten that.”

  “Is something the matter?” Jane asked.

  “Well, yes. The gowns that you all have. Are they the sort of gowns that you wore at the Netherfield Ball?”

  “Yes, they are,” I answered.

  “If you wish—and I should put it more delicately—would you all mind if we go to a shop that I know of in town? My sister frequents the place. It sells some of the best ready-made gowns in London. And none of their gowns are ever the same.”

  “I had not thought of that,” I observed, “for our country gowns might not be fashionable enough for the ton at the ball.”

  “It is not that. The gowns that you have already will need to be saved for when we go to the theatre.”

  “Oh!” Kitty cried. “And we cannot be seen in the same gown twice in so short a time.”

  “Yes. Some who go to the play will also attend Sir Aleck’s ball. The gowns you have now cannot be used for both occasions.”

  “We are causing you complications,” I observed.

  “No, you are not. As strange as it may sound, I am not averse to shopping for new gowns with women. As a child, my mothe
r often had me sit with her when gowns were made. If you are not offended by my request for us to get you new gowns, then I would be happy to escort you to Madame Duellane’s. You will like her assortment, for there is something for everyone.”

  “Madame Duellane’s?” Kitty extoled, overjoyed. “I have read about her shop in the papers about fashionable society.” Then Kitty got a wicked look in her eye, and then she grinned. “And isn’t she part-French?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are we not at war with France?” I asked as well, with an equal amount of wickedness in my tone.

  “Yes,” Darcy replied, amused, “but a war with France is traditional. A war against French fashions, however, is unheard of.”

  We all laughed.

  “Well, I would love to go,” Kitty confirmed.

  “As will I,” I added. “What say you, Jane?”

  Jane smiled sweetly.

  “You really will not be vexed with us, for getting gowns can be quite a trial for certain gentlemen?” Jane asked Darcy, still insecure.

  “It shall not be a trial for me,” Darcy assured her.

  “Then yes, I confess, I am always fond of purchasing new gowns!”

  “Then new gowns, you shall receive. Would you all be willing to leave in an hour’s time?”

  “Yes, that should be sufficient time to be prepared,” I assured him.

  “Very well. Let us all meet downstairs on the hour. Also, Miss Elizabeth, might I trouble you for a brief moment? I purchased a bit of music for my sister, and since you are the only one who plays, I wish for you to peruse it for me.”

  This was precisely the sort of arrangement that I had hoped for.

  “I should be delighted,” I responded.

  “Very good. It is in the music room. Ladies, if you will excuse me.”