Align Ourselves

by Adrianna Schuh

  It was stupid. She thought she was past that, past childish feelings like jealousy. Being above the ground had made her realize that the only important thing was survival. She didn't have time to feel jealous; she was too busy trying to figure out how to survive the day, where she'd get her next meal, and how to keep everyone alive.

  But now, they weren't under any threat. They had food, water, shelter. They could afford to go to town and spend their nights getting drunk at a bonfire with their friends.

  She was the only one that was down, and she hated herself for it. She should be feeling happy to be alive and taken care of. But she couldn't deny that it wasn't enough that she wanted more. She wanted what the others had.

  After watching Lex talk to, or what seemed more like flirting with, the same girl for over 20 minutes, she got up to leave. It was dark, but she knew the way back to the palace. She didn't want to spend time with her friends; she'd probably just bring them down.

  Chapter 26

  She walked home alone. She felt totally ridiculous when she felt the tears slipping down the sides of her face.

  What bothered her more than anything wasn't the fact that she was jealous. It was the fact that she finally let herself feel what she'd felt since she came above the ground: alone.

  Yeah, her friends helped her get through their time here. They consoled her, helped her make decisions. But the burden was on her to actually decide.

  But it left her totally and completely alone. She'd never had anyone to share the burden with. And even here, when she wasn't calling all of the shots, she was alone. The others seemed to move on a lot easier than she had.

  She wasn't tired, despite the walk, so she took a bath, mostly for something to do, and she stayed in the tub until the water got cold.

  By the time she finally crawled into bed, Lex had returned.

  "Hey," he said, "You left early. Why didn't you say anything?"

  I'm surprised you noticed, she thought. But she only shrugged.

  He crawled in next to her, laying on his back. "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah," she said, not bothering to face him. He'd turn around and fall asleep eventually, just like he'd been doing for the past few weeks.

  "Hey," he said again, placing a hand on her shoulder, "You can talk to me, you know that, right?"

  It was the first time he had voluntarily touched her in weeks.

  "Yeah," she said again, feeling stupid for wanting to cry again.

  "What is it?" he asked as he pulled on her shoulder until she was on her back.

  "Nothing," she whispered, "I-I'm just not in a good mood, is all."

  "Why?"

  "Nothing. It's stupid."

  "It's not stupid. If it makes you sad, it's not stupid."

  She looked away. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.

  "Talk to me," he whispered.

  "It's nothing," she whispered back, trying to keep her voice even.

  "Don't do that," he said, "Don't act like it's nothing. You're obviously upset about something."

  Yes, she was upset. But how the hell was she supposed to tell him that it was because she's been lonely for months? He would never understand. He didn't know what she'd been through.

  "Why...why don't you hold me anymore?" she asked, finally looking back at him.

  "What?"

  "When we sleep... you don't hold me anymore," she said. It was such a stupid thing to say. She wasn't even sure why she'd said it.

  "I didn't think you wanted me to."

  She was tired of feeling lonely, of being alone. She'd been alone for months. The only time she felt close to another person were those two nights he'd held her.

  She lifted her head and kissed him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

  But he didn't return it. When she pulled away to look at him, he looked confused.

  "What are you doing?" he asked.

  "I...I-" she stuttered, feeling embarrassed.

  He shook his head and pulled away from her.

  Embarrassment and hurt washed over her, made a lump form in her throat. She got out from underneath the covers and crawled out of bed. The rejection made her face flame.

  "Where are you going?" he asked, following her out of bed.

  "I just need some air," she said, walking towards the door.

  "Aria," he said, grabbing her hand before she walked out of the door. "What's going on? Why are you acting like this?"

  "It's nothing," she said, not turning to face him.

  "You have got to stop saying that. Obviously, it's something!"

  The anger in his voice made her turn around and yank her hand out of his grasp. "Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you!"

  "Why? What the fuck have I done this time?"

  "You-you've..." she began but found it hard to finish her sentence. There were so many things she wanted to say.

  "What?"

  "Why do you even care?"

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked, clearly angry now.

  "You've done nothing but keep your distance from me for weeks! And now you actually care enough to ask?"

  "What the hell? How have I been distant? I talk to you every fucking day."

  "Yeah, you talk to me. But not like you used to. You-you, don't cuddle with me anymore. You don't even hold my hand!" she yelled. It felt so childish, so ridiculous. "And tonight, you spent all your time talking to another girl. You didn't even sit next to me!"

  “I wasn't flirting with anyone," Lex said, his tone serious. “I-I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just- I didn't..." he said, shaking his head. "I didn't know it bothered you. I didn't think you cared. You-you made it seem like you didn't want me to so..."

  "Right," she said, nodding. "I made it seem like that. You always say that. And I've told you before that I cared."

  "Well, sorry if I don't take your word for it. You say a lot of things," he said.

  "Why did you pull away when I kissed you?"

  "For the same reason that I stopped touching you. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and hear that it was because you were drunk, lonely, or whatever other reason you get that way. I mean, that's why you kissed me, right? You were feeling lonely."

  She didn't know how to respond to that. How could he possibly know that?

  "Look, I'm sorry if I've been distant. But I...Fuck. I like you. And I want it to be real, I don't-" he said, looking away.

  "You...you want it..to be real?" she asked.

  "Yeah. If it's not real, then I'd rather not be with you in that way. I don't want to be the person you settle for when you're lonely. That's how you make me feel when you get that way. Like you're settling. Find someone else for that," he said, turning away.

  This time, she grabbed his hand.

  "It...it is real," she said, looking down at their hands. "I didn't think...I mean, you made it seem like it wasn't so...so I never tried..." fuck, she thought. She couldn't believe how tongue-tied she'd gotten. She always knew what to say. It was only around him that she found it hard to voice her thoughts.

  "And you're not gonna wake up tomorrow and avoid me?" he asked.

  "No...I won't avoid you. I...I like you too," she said, feeling so foolish.

  "You like me," he asked. She could hear the smile on his face.

  "Yeah," she whispered, blushing a little.

  "How much?"

  She pulled her hand out of his. "Shut up," she said, but she was smiling now.

  "I've missed your smile," he said, taking a small step towards her. He placed his hands on her hips, standing only a few inches away from her. "And you're sure this isn't only because you're lonely," he asked, his voice sounding more gentle and more scared than she'd ever heard it.

  "I am lonely. I have been for a long time...but I don't want to be anymore," she whispered, "I want to be with you."

  He placed his lips on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  She stood there, hugging Lex Mills for the first time.
She was pretty sure that she'd never, ever been hugged like that.

  After a few minutes, she looked up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled away a few seconds later, trying to read the expression on his face. She hoped that he knew it wasn't because she was lonely. That it was real. That she wasn't settling.

  But she didn't really get the opportunity to do so. He brought his lips back down to hers, and suddenly, they were kissing.

  Slow at first, testing one another out.

  But the heat between them pushed her forward. She wrapped her arms around his neck, crushing her lips to his.

  He reached down and placed his hands on her thighs, lifting her up until she could wrap them around his hips.

  He walked over to the couch and sat down, Aria in his lap.

  The closeness of their bodies urged her on, and suddenly their kisses weren't slow and deep anymore. They were fast and messy and frantic.

  He slid his tongue into her mouth, and she arched her back a little, pressing her body even closer to his.

  His hands gripped her hips, and she tried to have some self-control, stopping herself from grinding against him.

  "Should...should we take it slow?" he asked in between kisses.

  She thought about it for a few moments while he kissed her jaw and her neck.

  "We're already married," she said, feeling the heat pool in her belly. "Fuck, taking it slow."

  Chapter 27

  She brought her lips back down to his and only pulled away when she was out of breath.

  He stood up and placed her on the ground. Not a second later, his lips were back on hers, fast and hungry.

  He slid his hands under the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. He didn't pause for a second before pulling her pants and underwear off, too.

  Aria felt the anticipation making her hands shake.

  He turned her around and gently pushed her back down onto the couch. Dropping to his knees, he placed a hand on each knee and slowly pushed her legs open, his eyes flashing when they landed on her wet center.

  She felt like she should be embarrassed, being in that position, naked in front of him. But she only felt excitement, thrill, as he dropped his head and kissed up her left thigh, going higher and higher.

  She rested her head on the back of the seat, looking up at the ceiling. Oh my god.

  When his lips finally went to the spot she wanted them most, she couldn't help but let out a cry. And she couldn't help but feel grateful that he wasn't teasing her this time.

  He put her legs over his shoulders and placed a hand on her pelvis, holding her down. She placed both hands in his hair, urging him on. The grip he had on her hip became more demanding as she felt her muscles tighten. He took his hand off her hip, and for a second, she missed the pressure of it, holding her in place. She whimpered as he stuck two fingers inside of her, crooking them a little and touching a spot that made her whole body tingle. The pressure of his tongue and the fingers inside her pushed her over the edge. And this time, she didn't even try to contain herself, not caring if someone heard her.

  When she came back down, he stood up and offered her a hand. She took it, and they made their way to the bed. She laid down, and he crawled in right on top of her, with all his clothes still on.

  She pulled him down for another kiss, his hand slowly running up her torso.

  He was being gentle. Too gentle.

  "You know," she whispered against his lips, "You don't have to be so careful. So gentle. I won't break," she said, smiling up at him.

  "Is that what you want? For me not to be gentle?" he asked, and she could swear that she saw his eyes getting darker.

  "Y-yeah," she whispered. The look he gave her went straight to her core, making her nerves light on fire, covering her skin in goosebumps.

  "Well...in that case," he said, his voice rougher than it had been just a few moments ago, "Turn around."

  Aria liked being a leader, But she'd had enough of that in the past few months. She felt like letting go for a while. Trying something new for a change. With her few other partners, she'd taken the lead.

  But it wasn't easy, being in charge all the time.

  So she would let him take the lead tonight. See what he was made of. But next time...

  She turned on her stomach and felt him run a hand down her hair and then her back. He placed a hand on each hip and roughly pulled her up to her knees.

  She gasped. It felt so good to let go.

  She heard him take his shirt off, and she knew his pants would be next. The thought made it impossible for her not to rise to her hands and sway a little.

  She looked up at the sword above their bed.

  One hand came back to her hip, holding her steady, not letting her push back into him like she'd wanted.

  He pressed the tip of his cock to her entrance, spreading the heat and wetness gathered there.

  "Say it," he said, pushing the tip in just a little.

  She let out a needy moan, hoping it would suffice. But the grip he had on her hip didn't let her push back onto him.

  "Say it," he hissed.

  Fucking asshole! She couldn't believe he was actually going to make her say it. He pulled back a little, making her grow tense and aggravated. Fuck it.

  "Please..." she whined.

  "Please, what?"

  "Fuck me, please," she begged, dropping her head and looking at the bedding. Pride be damned. But I will get him back for this.

  But all thoughts of pride and revenge left a second later when she felt him pushing into her. They both moaned at the sensation. The fit was tight and perfect.

  He didn't do anything for a few moments, letting her body adjust.

  Slowly, he pulled out before pushing back in. The pace was slow at first, but Aria didn't mind. It had been a while for her.

  He eventually picked up the pace, gripping both of her hips and pulling them back to meet each thrust.

  Every thrust made her core grow tighter, and when he reached forward and grabbed her by the hair, tugging it back and making her head snap up, she let out a moan that was way, way louder than she'd intended it to be.

  It seemed to drive him a little wild because his thrusts came faster and harder than before.

  He let go of her hair and reached under her to rub small, tight circles into her clit. She gripped the bedding so hard she could feel her nails digging into her palms.

  She was there, she was almost there, letting out low moans, calling his name.

  "Come for me," he said from behind her. And it was what she needed to hear to push her over the edge. She clenched around him, calling his name.

  She could tell that he was close, and though she desperately wanted to feel him come inside her, she didn't think it was the best idea yet. Quickly she said, “Pull out, Lex, pull out.”

  She heard him grunt in acknowledgment as he placed a hand on her back and pushed her back down onto her stomach. He pulled out just as she'd come down, and a few seconds later, she felt him come on her lower back.

  She sighed in contentment as he placed kisses along her shoulder blades. And then he climbed off the bed, heading to the bathroom.

  He brought a towel from the bathroom and wiped her down.

  "By the way," she said, once he had rejoined her in bed. "Grace mentioned the tea that some women take to prevent pregnancy. I could start taking it?"

  “Whatever you feel most comfortable with," he said, smiling softly at her.

  She rolled onto her back, laughing a little.

  He laid down next to her, pulling her closer so that she was resting her head on his chest. She wrapped an arm around his torso as he lazily ran a hand up and down her back.

  They laid like that for a while in comfortable silence.

  "We need to go into the village tomorrow," he eventually said.

  "Why?" she asked, looking up at him.

  "You need a coat. A nice thick one."

  "What? Why? It isn't even that cold yet."
>
  "I suspect we will have a harsh winter here on Earth....now that hell has frozen over," he said, trying to keep his face serious, but at the last second, he burst out laughing.

  "You are such a jackass!" she yelled as she pulled away. She grabbed her pillow and hit him below the stomach.

  "Ow," he said, but he was still laughing.

  She put the pillow back down and laid her head on his chest again, becoming familiar with the sound of his heartbeat.

  "That wasn't very nice," he said.

  "Well, I'm not a nice person," she said back.

  "You are a lot nicer than me if that's any consolation."

  "Not really. You're definitely the rudest person I've ever met," she teased.

  "I've been called worse," he said, but his voice didn't sound light anymore.

  She let it drop, knowing that he probably had been called worse. But so had she.

  He picked her hand up off of his chest and studied it for a few quiet moments. He ran his thumb across a scar she'd gotten on her journey here. He brought her wrist up and kissed it lightly before putting it back down.

  "I'm sorry all this happened to you."

  "It's okay," she whispered.

  "Tell me."

  She looked up, a little confused. "Tell you what?"

  "Tell me about what happened," he said, running his hand up and down her spine.

  "I already did."

  "You gave me the short version. Tell me...tell me about what it was like when you got here. How you felt, being on Earth. What you thought when you realized there were people? How did you survive?"

  "Why?"

  "Because you said that you've been lonely for a long time. You were their leader. I'm sure you put up a front, kept your feelings to yourself. Tell me about the worst day, the best day. Everything you've kept to yourself. But-but only if you want to..."

  She looked at him for a few moments, noting the curiosity in his eyes and the little scar above his top lip. And then she told him.

  She told him about how it felt to breathe real air for the first time in her life. The way she felt when she heard twigs and leaves crunching beneath her boots when she took those first few steps out of the metal cage she called her home. How scared she was when they saw some of the animals. What it was like to drink rainwater out of a giant leaf. The first time she plucked a flower from the ground and inhaled its sweet smell.