Love Songs for the Road

by Farrah Taylor

  “So, you say you guys are on some kind of extended road trip?”

  “Yes, sir,” they said at once.

  “No need to call me ‘sir.’” They both laughed, but Marcus played it deadpan. “I meant Jack. Nick, you can keep it up.”

  “Uh, yes, sir,” said Jack, laughing awkwardly as Nick, right on cue, began to glower. But Marcus didn’t want to rile the kid too much. He wasn’t just trying to tick off Ryan’s ex—he had a bigger goal in mind.

  “Mr. Troy,” Jack said.

  “Marcus,” said Marcus.

  “Marcus.” He chuckled, shaking his head like he just couldn’t believe this was happening to him. “I’m sure you hear this all the time, but your music, well, it’s meant so much to me over the years. I mean, your lyrics…it’s like you just tell the truth, plain and simple. I don’t know, it’s just had such a huge impact on me.”

  He clapped his arm on Jack’s shoulder. “That’s really nice of you to say, Jack. Seriously. People like you, well, you’re why I keep doing what I do.”

  “Cool, thanks.”

  Marcus took a swig of his beer and turned his stool to face Nick for the first time. “And how about you, Neil?”

  “It’s Nick.”

  “Oh, is it? Sorry, man.” He clapped Nick’s shoulder, too, but a little too hard, digging his thumb into the boy’s trapezius and tweaking it for a brief but painful instant. “Nick, it is.” Another swig. “So, Jack here is going to revolutionize the science of agriculture. What are you going to do to make the world a better place?”

  “God,” Nick said. “I have no idea.” He’d become skittish and paranoid, and Marcus realized he needed to rein this in before he took the prank too far.

  “Jack,” he said, “would you excuse Nick and me for a second?”

  “Sure thing,” Jack said.

  Marcus walked Nick to the end of the bar and said, “So, Nick, are you here to see me or to see Ryan?”

  Nick said, “Well, both, I guess.”

  “You realize you made a huge mistake breaking up with her, right?” Marcus could tell—Nick wasn’t necessarily a bad guy, but he was a dumb one, a victim of nothing more than his own youth.

  Nick shrugged. “I guess so.”

  “You guess so? You realize you’re never going to meet another woman like that in your life, right?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Marcus laughed. “You can stop calling me sir now.” He signaled Serena for a phone and dialed Ryan’s number.

  …

  As she watched Miles careen around the non-childproofed room, looking like he was going to poke his eye out on every available corner in the suite, Ryan wondered whether it would be a felony, or just a misdemeanor, to slip an Ambien into a five-year-old’s Juicy Juice. But then, assuming that Benjamin and the Mustache Man had bugged the suite, she imagined all the evil nanny headlines that would ensue, and decided to use her powers of persuasion instead.

  Her phone rang. It was Serena.

  “Hey,” she answered. “What’s up?”

  “It’s me,” Marcus said.

  “Oh, hi. What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I think the question here might be more, what can I do for you? See, your ex-boyfriend seems to have washed ashore.”

  Ryan had had a premonition that something like this might happen. But that didn’t mean she was, in any way, prepared. “Nick? He’s not a VIP.”

  She hadn’t meant it to be funny, but Marcus laughed, anyway. “I’d say he is a Very Idiotic Person.”

  “Oh, God. Please tell me he’s not right next to you.”

  “I’m a discreet distance away.”

  “Well, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to see him.” Miles had dozed off on the other end of the couch, she hoped for the night.

  “Remember when we talked about facing your fears?”

  She was so not ready for this. “Sure do.”

  “Why don’t I send him up? I guarantee, a few minutes with this kid, and afterward, you’ll feel like a million bucks.”

  Ryan doubted that, but Marcus was so persuasive. What did she have to lose? “Okay,” she said. “Send up the VIP.”

  “Your ex-boyfriend is coming?” Charlotte asked. “The one who stopped loving you?”

  “Charlotte, please,” Ryan said, hoping the child wouldn’t blurt out anything like that when Nick showed up at the door, which would be any second now. “It’s long past your bedtime.”

  “But I want to meet him,” Charlotte said, as if she were asking for an extra spoonful of ice cream.

  “Absolutely not.” Ryan meant business now. She stood up and gave Charlotte the look.

  “Aww, please. I’ll be good.”

  “Let’s go, young lady.”

  But as she led Charlotte to her bedroom, there was a knock at the door.

  “Yes!” Charlotte said, running to answer it.

  Ryan ran after her, but it was too late. Charlotte flung the door open, where Serena and a surprised-looking Nick stood gaping.

  Serena, assessing the situation right away, scooped Charlotte up into her arms. She flashed a copy of Charlotte’s Web, which Marcus had been reading to his daughter on the bus. “Special treats for bedtime girls! Let’s go, missy!” she called out. Ryan marveled at how much easier Serena was around the kids than she’d been at the beginning of the tour. Those newfound skills were sure coming in handy now.

  “Good night, Charlotte.” Ryan kissed her on the cheek.

  “But I want to be introduced.”

  “Charlotte,” Ryan said, dead-serious. “Another time.”

  Turning and pointing at Nick, the girl said, “You’re a silly little man!” and stuck her tongue out at him. Nick was too surprised to react, but Ryan laughed guiltily, grateful that two generations of Troys appeared to have her back.

  Ryan waved good-bye to her little defender, and after an awkward hug, she and Nick took the elevator down to the lobby. “You look great,” Nick said. She thanked him, but was skeptical—was he just being polite? They had a peek in the hotel bar, but it was so noisy, they decided against it, instead walking a few blocks down the nearly deserted streets of downtown Denver.

  “So, are you having an amazing time?” Nick asked.

  “Absolutely,” Ryan said, her voice sounding more confident than she actually felt. “I’m getting to see parts of the country I’ve never seen before, like this fascinating slice of urban Denver.” She gestured toward a multi-story parking garage and faceless office building.

  “Still got your sense of humor, I see.”

  Ryan tried to remember everything she wanted to say to Nick, but she drew a blank. For the first time, though, she had a good look at him, and what she saw brought a smile to her lips—Marcus wasn’t here in the flesh, but his handsome face beamed at her from her ex’s XXXL T-shirt, which was so big on him, it almost looked like a dress. Nick also sported a Marcus Troy trucker cap and tour jacket. He was carrying two CDs in his hand and somehow cradled a tour poster in the crook of his elbow.

  “You’re quite the superfan, there, aren’t you, Nick?”

  “Yeah, I look kind of ridiculous, huh?”

  “Just a little.”

  Ryan had never understood the concept of men wearing sports jerseys or concert T-shirts—why would a grown man want to wear another man’s name, or image, on his back? It seemed dated and childish.

  Nick shifted uncomfortably, but what was he going to do, peel off the Marcus Troy dress he was wearing and throw it up into the air? He was stuck with the freebies, at least until he and Jack (who was, surely, best friends with Marcus by now, knocking down a beer or two at the VIP bar) got back to wherever it was they were staying. Was this Marcus’s idea of a prank? “Face your fears,” he had said. She’d been hurt by Nick, and was still afraid of being hurt by him, or anyone else, again. But as she literally faced her ex-boyfriend, the fears represented by this man-child in a shapeless T-shirt dress emblazoned with the oversized MARCUS TROY logo, onl
y made her laugh. What a gift Marcus had given her!

  “What’s funny?” Nick asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, though it took her another moment to stop. What was she going to tell him, that Marcus had purposely made him look silly as a kind of favor to her? “Just…us. We were in love in Montana, weren’t we? And now here we are, in Colorado, at a Marcus Troy concert. And I feel like I barely even knew you in the first place.”

  “Come on, Ryan,” Nick said, taking off his cap, and at last looking somewhat adult. “We knew each other.”

  Nick did have nice hair, blond and silky. But had he always been this skinny? Ryan supposed that next to Marcus, many guys would. She just hadn’t remembered Nick as being so boyish and insubstantial. Had he changed, or had the road, had Marcus, changed her?

  “Nick,” she said. “Why do you keep in touch with me?”

  “I don’t know, I thought maybe we could be friends?”

  They passed by a Subway, and Ryan thought it odd that this conversation she’d imagined having for so long was taking place in the most banal setting possible. They could have been anywhere. “After what you and Nat did? You think friendship’s possible, after that?”

  “I guess…maybe not.” He looked at her for a moment, and for once, he looked contrite. “Ryan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  She exhaled, and she felt as if the pain were some real, organic thing that was just now pivoting off her shoulders and taking flight to parts unknown. “I know,” she said. “You had no idea what you were doing, did you? Are you still even with Nat?”

  Nick looked at her, surprised. “You haven’t talked to her?”

  “Oh yeah, we’re still best friends.” Ryan made sure the sarcasm was unmistakable. “Inseparable.”

  “Anyway, it was just a fling, Nat and me.”

  “Was it worth it?”

  “No, it wasn’t. I really am sorry, you know.” A second apology in two minutes, after nothing but insensitive bro talk for months? I’ve hit the apology lottery, Ryan thought. But did it mean anything to hear it now? She supposed it did.

  “Thanks.”

  “So how about you?” he asked. “Is it true what they’re saying? About you and Marcus frickin’ Troy?”

  “Not a word of it,” she said, without a second thought. Nick had once been her most intimate confidante, but he’d never know Ryan’s secrets again. From now on, she’d save her secrets for someone who deserved them.

  Later, as they were saying good-bye, Nick reached out to her for one last embrace, but Ryan pulled back.

  “You know what?” she said. “I think I’m good. I’m over it. I’m over you. Really.” And after she’d said it, she realized it was true.

  As Ryan walked back to the hotel, alone but happier and freer than she’d felt in as long as she could remember, she couldn’t stop smiling. Marcus Troy was so full of surprises, but she still couldn’t believe he’d dreamed this one up. How could he have known that the simple act of seeing Nick would let her see that, without knowing it, she’d already moved past him? How could he know that meeting her ex would only make her want him that much more? Marcus couldn’t have, she realized; he was just rolling the dice. But it had worked.

  Not only was she done with Nick, but she wasn’t scared anymore. She could do a relationship, as long as her partner was confident and mature—a man.

  A man like Marcus.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  A Kiss and a Fight

  Marcus didn’t get nervous often, but the morning he was set to fly from Dallas to Los Angeles for the custody hearing, he didn’t bother trying to hide it: he was a wreck. By the time he’d kissed the kids good-bye three times and misplaced his wallet twice, even Miles had figured out something unusual was going on.

  “What’s wrong with you, Daddy?”

  “Nothing, buddy. I’m just going to miss you, that’s all.”

  Ryan swooped in, mussed the boy’s hair, and kissed his cheek. “Your dad’s going to be back before you know it,” she said. “But we need to let him get on his way now.” Then, to Marcus, “You’d better move, huh? Doesn’t your flight take off at nine thirty?”

  “Ten, actually, and the airport’s a fifteen-minute drive. I’m not worried about it.”

  “You sure seem worried, Daddy,” Charlotte said.

  It was true that Marcus didn’t want to leave the cocoon, the warm embrace, of the suite. It had barely been a month, and he marveled at what a perfect little unit he, Ryan, and the kids had become. They had their routine down to a science, and even the parts of his life on tour that used to be mundane and annoying were pleasant and easy with Ryan along with them. Not that he was letting Ryan do all the domestic stuff alone. In fact, he was doing more parenting on the road than he had even in Bigfork, where he’d had few obligations but had stayed out of the harsh Mrs. Janssen’s way. Her style of nannying had been anything but inclusive.

  Marcus knew this moment of familial bliss with the four of them was an illusion—Ryan was going to leave them at the end of the summer, and more importantly, misperceptions about her role in his life were the cause of Bianca’s latest attempts to take the kids away—but he clung to it, anyway. He’d never had so much fun not being on stage during a tour, he’d never felt closer to the kids, and Ryan…well, Ryan was on his mind constantly.

  The night before, she’d come back from her walk with Nick beaming. Marcus noticed right away, and for a moment he was scared that maybe the two of them were getting back together. Why else would she look so elated? She looked stronger and more confident than he’d ever seen her.

  “What’s gotten into you?” he’d asked, just after they’d tucked in the kids. “You look…”

  “What?” she said.

  “So beautiful. So happy.” It was true. The light from the table lamp shone on her face, and her eyes sparkled. That familiar thrill shot through him, right on schedule, but maybe all along, he’d been the only one feeling that electric pulse, while she’d been feeling it for somebody else.

  “Thanks,” she’d said. “I do feel happy.”

  Marcus didn’t want to ask—was it because of Nick? He knew he had no right to be jealous, but a girl like Ryan deserved so much better. And when it came right down to it, if she preferred somebody else to him, he’d really rather not have known about it at all.

  “That’s great, Ryan,” he said. “Really. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks, that means a lot.”

  He wanted to hold her in his arms, kiss her throat, take her right there in the living room, his children drifting off to sleep just on the other side of the door.

  “You’re great, you know that?” he said, moving a step closer to her.

  “You’re not so bad yourself.” She swallowed. “That was so great, your putting me together with Nick like that.”

  “Putting you together?” Marcus laughed. “I was hoping it would be the exact opposite.”

  “Oh, it was,” Ryan said. “It was.”

  She went to him and hugged him, their bodies pressed tightly together, her delicious smell making him dizzy with desire. “You’re amazing, Ryan Evans,” he said.

  “I want you so much right now,” she said. “If only…”

  She pulled back and looked up at him, and Marcus brought his lips to hers. Just before the kiss became a kiss, they hesitated. His eyes were open because he wanted to see this moment, remember and cherish it, like a nourishing, delicious meal before a long, hard journey. Her eyes were large and luminous before him, an emerald ocean. Then, they breathed the same breath, like divers about to plunge, and with a sweet splash he tasted the tender fruit of her lips. Ryan kissed slowly at first, chastely. But she was the first one to explore his tongue with hers, and soon, that same soft moan escaped her, the one he’d heard when he’d knelt before her and kneaded her feet with his hands.

  Marcus bit lightly on her lower lip; she twisted her fingers through his hair and sighed. They didn’t stop for several minut
es, rocking each other back and forth like a couple of teenagers slow-dancing. They’d pull away and feel the lengths of each other’s bodies, and then would be drawn back again, their mouths and lips guiding them in that soft, gentle struggle.

  “I wish you could come back to my room with me,” she said, smiling up at him.

  “If not for the fact that this whole place has probably been bugged by Bianca,” Marcus said.

  “Or Benjamin.”

  “Or both.” Marcus laughed. “I can’t believe the rest of the world has a say in whether something like this, something so obviously good, is allowed to happen.”

  “I know. It doesn’t seem fair. But…”

  “What?”

  “Well, if things go well for you after the hearing, maybe it can happen.”

  “God, that would be incredible. I’d have to hit a real home run, though.”

  “Well, if you hit a home run in LA, maybe you can fly back here and hit another one.”

  Marcus cracked up.

  “Shh,” said Ryan, laughing, too. “You’ll wake them.”

  “You didn’t really just say that, did you?” he asked. “You’re too much.”

  “I’m just trying to give you some motivation.”

  He drew her to him again. “I like the way you think.”

  But this morning, the mood was so different. Yes, kissing Ryan had given Marcus something to hope for, something to work toward. But now that he was only hours away from the hearing, all he could think about was whether his kids were about to be taken away from him, for good.