by S. Moose
Tyler comes over and hands me a cup of tea. He’s smiling at me and it’s frustrating. I want to stay mad at him.
“Look at me,” he pleads. “I know I haven’t been making this easy. I’m scared as hell and I want you to be safe.”
I nod and I’m about to respond when I feel something in my stomach and immediately realize it’s our baby girl moving. Taking Tyler’s hand and placing it on my stomach he waits a moment before I hear a gasp and look at him.
“That’s our girl,” I remind him. “She doesn’t like your stress and she’s telling you not to worry. We’re going to be fine.”
Tyler leans his lips to my stomach and kisses it. “Hi baby girl. Please be safe in there okay?”
“We still don’t have a name.”
“Yeah,” he answers. “We will though. Tonight I just want to hold my wife and daughter and forget about the stress.”
“I’d like that.”
***
WE HAVE AN appointment today and I’m nervous. Holding Tyler’s hand, we walk into the doctor’s office and I check in with the receptionist. Looking at the other women in the waiting room, I find us seats in the corner.
“How are you feeling?”
“Good.” I touch my stomach and smile. “We’re both doing so well.”
“I’m glad you were able to eat something this morning.”
“Yeah, the eggs and toast with orange juice were good. Thank you again.” I lean over and kiss his cheek.
“You don’t have to thank me for making you breakfast.”
“I know.” I bring my arm through his and lean on his shoulder. “But I want you to know I appreciate everything you do for me and Baby Scott.”
“Baby Scott,” he repeats. “Yeah we’re going to have to give her a name soon.”
“It’s so hard because I want her to have the prettiest name.” I take out my phone and we look at some names. Finding a name shouldn’t be this hard.
“Gillian Nicole.”
I laugh and look at him, “Why that name?”
“I don’t know it seems to fit well. Plus Gillian means youthful and Nicole is your mom’s middle name.”
I smile again. Honestly, can this man get sweeter?
“Bayleigh Murphy?” A short blonde nurse calls for me. When we both look up, Tyler takes my hand and walks in the direction of the exam rooms. “How are you doing?”
“Good,” I tell her and look at Tyler. “We’re both doing well.”
The nurse smiles and leads us to an open area to get my vitals. Other women are there with nurses and they smile at us when we walk in.
Sitting on the high chair, Tyler takes my purse and leans on the wall, waiting for the nurse to get my blood pressure and some information.
“You’re not uncomfortable?” I ask him.
“Nope. Anywhere you go, I go too.”
I hear some women gasp and sigh, looking at him, swooning and awe in their eyes. I smile because I know he’s the sweetest even if he’s being overprotective. I guess I’d rather have him be overprotective than not care.
When Doctor Wells comes in, he sits down and takes out his file. “So, I read the notes from the hospital. How are you doing?” His voice is nice and sympathetic, making me feel comfortable.
“I’m okay. Remember when I had some pains earlier in my pregnancy?” He nods. “Well, I’ve been getting sick and the headaches were on and off until the day I was taken to the hospital. I knew something wasn’t right. We’ve been taking it easy these last few days.”
“I see,” he nods and looks at me. “We have to monitor you, Bayleigh, so please stay home and keep busy, but no stress. Even though you’re home it doesn’t mean you can’t be active. Take small walks or find a hobby and if you feel any pain or bleeding, get to the hospital. This is serious. Preeclampsia isn’t something that’s going to go away and with all of the pain you have been experiencing you are at a higher risk for complications with your pregnancy. You’re going to have to come in more and I’ll need to put you on medication for your blood pressure. I know you’re pretty healthy, but this is for you and your baby so don’t think the medication or what’s going on is your fault. Preeclampsia isn’t rare for women who are experiencing their first pregnancy. You have my number, right?”
Quickly Tyler’s head spins and he glares at me. I roll my eyes and nod. “I do, thank you so much.”
Tyler
HEARING DOCTOR WELLS’ words frustrates me to no end. If I wasn’t careless, then Bayleigh wouldn’t be in this position. I wouldn’t be risking losing her and our baby. If I lose her it’ll be my fault and I’ll have no one else to blame.
“Listen, why don’t I check your baby and you can listen to her heartbeat again? I’m sure nothing has changed.”
Looking at Bayleigh, she nods her head and smiles. I watch as he lifts up her shirt and puts some clear shit on her stomach. I swallow the lump in my throat and fight the concern that’s building. Part of me wants to hear my child’s heartbeat again and part of me doesn’t.
I read more about her condition and know if there’s no heartbeat, we lost the baby. I didn’t want to say that to her. The idea of not hearing my baby’s heartbeat scares me because I know this will break Bayleigh. She’s going to blame herself and sink back into her hole. It’s not something I want for her. I’m torn between supporting and loving her, or hoping we lose the baby so her life isn’t at risk anymore. All I want is for her to be safe. I need her safe.
I hate this torn feeling. I hate having these thoughts. What father wants his unborn baby to die?
“Ready?” I look up and hold Bayleigh’s hand. The screen is a mix of black, gray and white. I’m not ready.
I’m not ready.
I can’t be here.
A steady thumping noise fills the room. Fuck, I’m going to cry. Everything is changing around me. I’m looking at the screen with wide eyes. She’s okay. She’s alive and things are going to be okay.
“That’s our baby,” I whisper. Bayleigh holds my hand tighter and I let the tears fall. “Gillian Nicole, you’re safe.”
I’m excited our baby is okay, but then again that means Bayleigh’s life is still at risk.
“Everything sounds great. The heartbeat is strong and healthy and that’s a good sign.” He looks at me and all I can think about is what if something terrible happens.
A baby we can make again.
Another Bayleigh? No.
Doctor Wells telling me I need to be supportive and understanding helps. She needs me to be strong and not freak out and break down when she’s hurting or needs me.
When we leave the office, I help her get in the car and rush to the driver’s side. I want to get home and cherish my beautiful girl. Taking her hand, I give it a kiss.
“I’m so glad you got to hear Gillian’s heartbeat.” She beams and touches her stomach. “I told you everything is going to be okay.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t want to agree with her. “I can’t wait to get you home. I miss you.”
“I know. I miss you too.” She leans in and places her head on my shoulder. “Today’s been a wonderful day.”
It’s about to get better.
Getting her upstairs to our bedroom in record time and undressing her, I kiss her slowly from her lips down her body to where she wants me most. Hearing her moaning, whimpering, begging me for more, nearly makes me blow in my jeans.
Swiping my tongue over her clit, sliding two fingers inside her, and hearing her moan my name feels incredible. I love the power I have over her body and the pleasure she feels with my every touch and suck.
“I need you inside me, please,” she begs.
Standing up and getting out of my clothes, I pull her closer to the edge of the bed, spreading her legs, and sliding inside her. Grabbing her arms, I thrust hard, completely filling her, and seeing her body arch to my thrust. Holy fuck, she’s sexy when she moves with me and moans with pleasure.
“I don’t think I can last long,” I
moan. “I love you, baby.”
“How good does my pussy feel around your cock?”
“So fucking good.” Those naughty words slip out of her mouth and it drives me crazy. I thrust faster and harder, showing her how good she makes it feel.
Nothing in my life feels as good as I do now. This moment is changing my world. Seeing her bare, loving what I’m doing to her, and the way we move our bodies together tells me everything I need to know.
“Tyler,” she screams. “I’m coming!”
Throwing my head back, I follow and my body stills. Leaning forward I kiss her lips, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Pulling her in my arms, up on our bed, I kiss the side of her head and place my hand on her stomach. Watching Bayleigh fall asleep in my arms, I keep my hand on her stomach. We have a name for our daughter, and it’s getting close to her due date. Everything is ready, and we’re buying things for Gillian almost every day.
At first I wasn’t sure if I could touch her stomach and listen to her heartbeat. Thoughts about possibly losing either of them doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t know where she has her faith or how she believes everything will be fine.
Bayleigh
WAKING UP, IN A state of bliss, I look around and see flowers, balloons and teddy bears.
“Bayleigh?”
“Hi,” I whisper, and look up. “Can you pass me a shirt?”
“Ew.” Mandy grabs a shirt and passes it to me. “Here please dress because, ew.”
“Whatever,” I laugh. “What’s all of this?”
“For you, bitch.” Mandy sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand. Her sobs follow and I hate doing this to my best friend. “You are my best friend and your Mini You means the world to me.” I cry with her and squeeze her hand. “Please tell me you’re going to be okay, please?”
“I am going to be okay, Mandy. I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving Tyler. Gillian and I are going to be fine. I’m going to have a healthy baby and things are going to be wonderful. We’re going to live a long life and when we’re eighty years old we’ll look back and smile because we freaked out over nothing.”
“Gillian?” I nod. “A girl! I’m having a niece.”
“Yes! And she’s so strong.” Mandy looks away. I feel guilty telling her all of this and not considering her feelings.
“But it’s not nothing, Bayleigh. Something is wrong with you and Gillian,” she sobs. “I can’t lose either of you.”
“And you won’t. We’re not going anywhere.”
“This is so hard to understand. You’re healthy and you take care of yourself. I don’t get it.” Mandy takes my hand and bends her head down. I feel bad my best friend in the whole world is going through the pain. I hate this is happening. If I’m being honest I don’t understand my condition either. “Promise you’re not going anywhere because no one will be able to stand it.”
“I promise.” I tell her even though there’s a chance I won’t be able to keep my promise.
After going through all the shitty things in my life over the past few years I want to stay realistic. Preeclampsia is a serious condition. I’m on meds and I’m taking it easy, but sometimes life likes to test your limits. Preeclampsia isn’t uncommon and most women come out of it just fine. I’m sure we are overreacting, but I just can’t help thinking of the worse-case scenario. It’s not fair if I do pass away or if Gillian doesn’t make it. I need to stop. I can’t think that way. Even though I’m going to be prepared, I still can’t wrap my head around the idea of not being here with my husband and daughter.
Taking her hand, I give it a squeeze and silently pray my faith works because I’m not ready to leave yet.
We spend the night having dinner together. Damon and Seth show up with more Thai food and we sit around the living room laughing and talking as if nothing is wrong. Looking around at my friends, who are my family, I happily sigh.
***
SAYING GOODBYE TO everyone, I head upstairs to find Tyler in our bathroom filling the tub with water, rose petals and lavender bath salt. The bathroom is filled with tea light candles, with my Kindle on the counter and soft music playing.
“What’s all this?” I whisper, looking around and taking in what he’s doing.
“I want you to relax tonight,” he gets up, wiping his hands on a towel, and walks to me. “Everything that happens to you happens to Baby Scott and me. If you’re happy and relaxed that means you’re going to be healthy and I’m happy knowing I can make you feel that way. It’s important to me you stay well rested. I don’t want you to go through any stress.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “Tonight is about you. Get changed and get in the tub. I’ll sit here next to you, and we don’t have to talk. I can sit here and watch you read, soaking in the tub with our baby.”
Hearing him say all of this makes me cry a little. He so badly wants me to be okay and I get it. I don’t argue with him. He’s already lost his brother, and him doing this makes him relaxed. He’s protecting us and I’m going to let him. No more arguing or being secretive. If he wants me home, then that’s what I’m going to do.
“Okay, that sounds wonderful,” I tell him, and start to get out of my clothes. “Thank you so much for all of this. It means so much to me that you go through the trouble of making sure I’m happy.”
“Baby, it’s no trouble at all. I want to be sure you’re okay, and as your husband then I’m going to do just that. So many times I’ve fallen and failed you. Not this time.” He caresses my face. “Most people are scared of what they don’t know and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or feel. This is our new path. I know I’ve made mistakes, but I promise you I’m a better man because this time around I have you and we’re both in a good place.”
“So this alpha male protective side of you is staying?”
“Yes,” he kisses me. “It’s staying.”
“Good,” I wink, and slowly get in the tub. Sliding down, feeling the warm water on my skin, and instantly relaxing feels good. Even though all I can think about is Tyler in the tub with me, making love to me, taking my body to places it’s never been before.
Our sex life is escalating and I want it every day. I want it as many times as possible. Seducing him comes to mind when I see him sitting on the bathroom floor with his laptop. My man is so hot with his white tee shirt and basketball shorts on. The outfit is simple, but the way he wears it is . . . wow. There are no words.
We don’t talk too much. He lets me read while working on reports. Getting to an erotic scene in my book, I can’t take it anymore. Standing up from the lukewarm water, I put my Kindle on top of the toilet set and step out. Tyler looks at me, without saying anything, and follows me with a towel in his hand.
“Dry me,” I whisper to him, watching as he takes the fluffy towel and dries every part of my body. Slowly gracing the towel over my breasts, down my body, to my aching pussy. “I like when you’re being careful. To be honest,” I pause and look at him, “I want you to do more.”
“Like what?”
I wink. “You’re the one who’s in control.” Turning around, I back myself onto his hard cock, rubbing my ass against him, gripping his thighs, and hearing the low grumble from his throat. “Take me, Tyler.”
A few rounds of passionate love making later, my body is still on cloud nine. Lying next to Tyler, watching him sleep, I wonder what life will be life when Baby Scott arrives. Then I think about what if I’m not here to experience life with our baby and I have to leave them behind. I believe I can make it through this and I’ll be okay when it’s time to give birth. I don’t want to think about the possibility of leaving my two hearts behind.
I’m not sure I can be honest. The love I have for Tyler and Baby Scott runs so deep. Our souls are connected on every level possible. The yearning to be close to one another is strong and prevails, like our love. His presence brings my body to his every command and hearing his voice sends shivers down my spine. Sometimes I
’ll watch him in the corner, where he doesn’t see me, and I memorize every expression of happiness, frustration, anger and devotion.
We can sit in a room without talking, and we don’t need to. Sometimes it just is what it is and we’re happy to be next to one another, holding hands, and being the way we are. I feel like everything in my life has led me to this very moment.
Tyler
SINCE MY RESIGNATION from the company I’ve stayed on good terms with Chad and Brian. They’re in town for a week and we decided it’ll be nice to have everyone over. They weren’t able to make it to the wedding and want to offer their congratulations.
Pulling into my driveway I see Serena’s car and wonder what she’s doing. Walking inside I hear crying and rush to the living room to find Bayleigh consoling Serena.
“What’s going on?”
Bayleigh looks at me and shakes her head. “Looks like Slut Anna is on the loose again.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Chad’s been cheating on me with her,” Serena softly says. “We broke up this morning when a picture of them at dinner was sent to me. I called Chad and he acted as if he didn’t do anything wrong.”
Sitting down with the girls I rub Serena’s back and don’t say anything. My best friend from California decided to be an asshole. With them in town I’m not sure how this is going to work.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Bayleigh says. “If a guy cheats on you then he’s nothing but an asshole who doesn’t deserve your tears.”
“I trusted him and now it’s gone. I’m not sure what to think or say.”
“Well,” I start to say. “Him and Brian are coming to town. They’ll be here in a few days.”
“Great,” Serena huffs. “He’s most likely going to bring her and we’ll just all have fun.”