I sighed, “If it goes well, which it probably won’t because my life is one big crazy joke, I will be ecstatic!” I laid upside down, my head hanging over the side of my bed.
“Sutton, that can’t be good for you.” Reagan pulled me up by my arms. “And also FYI, it’ll go great. Maybe you have a gift, you know, like those psychic shows.” I laughed. “So tomorrow, we go and we find Luke and we let everything else fall into place from there.”
“Count me in.” A voice said softly. My mom was there in her robe standing in the doorway.
“Really?” I asked. My mom nodded and smiled.
“Don’t worry I won't walk you to the door or anything but I’ll stay in the car if you need me.” She smiled. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do when I found him but I prayed to God something good would come out of it.
I tossed and turned all night and woke up the second the sun peeked through the blinds. Reagan’s arm was wrapped around me and Shane was sprawled out on the floor. I gently lifted her arm off of me and sat up rubbing my eyes.
“What time is it?” Reagan croaked still clearly half asleep.
I looked around the room once more. “Hello? Sutton, are you okay?” Reagan quickly sat up.
“Sorry, this just feels like Deja Vu to me.” I rubbed the scar on my temple.
“I have a feeling you’re going to be feeling a lot of that,” Reagan replied, putting her arm around me.
I leaned over and grabbed my phone off the side table. “5:48,” I replied to Reagan.
“Ugh.” She sighed turning over. “I know today’s a big day but I don’t think Luke would appreciate us knocking on his door at 6 am.” She said, her voice muffled by her pillow.
“I know,” I replied standing up and walking out of the room.
“Where are you going?” I heard Reagan mutter. I sighed. Clearly, everyone was going to worry about and baby me for a long time, but I didn’t blame them.
“I’m just going to sit outside for the sunrise. I’ll be okay.” I replied continuing out the door.
I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and pulled open the slider. I sat at the little table outside and looked up at the sky. I saw a cloud that was shaped like a turtle. My mind flashed back to Luke and I out here the day Theo passed away. I shook my head again trying to get the memory to go away.
I sipped my water and stared at the sky. I looked down at the ground for a minute and then blessed myself facing the sky once again.
“Theo if you’re up there listening to me, please just watch over me today. God, Jesus, all of my guardian angels, especially you Theo, just please let me be able to handle everything that happens today. Life has been crazy lately. I mean clearly, right? I’m sitting out here praying to a turtle cloud.” I laughed out loud. “I really do believe what’s meant to be will be and that everything will fall into place,but please just watch over me and give me the strength to get through this.” I blessed myself again and wandered back into the house.
“Sutton, what time is it now?” Reagan moaned. I guess I was being loud, rummaging through my drawers, trying to decide what to wear. It was only 55 degrees out and I had one pair of ripped jeans, so the only choice I really had to make was what shirt to wear.
“9:30,” I replied.
“Okay, I guess I can get up now.” Reagan hopped out of bed and stood next to me.
“Okay let’s pick a shirt.” Reagan and I went through just about all my clothes when we came across a burgundy-colored flower shirt with the shoulders cut out.
“This is perfect Sutton.”
“You think?” I asked. Reagan smiled and nodded.
We wandered into the living room to find everyone had already started the day. My mom had already made enough eggs and pancakes to feed an army.
“Sutton, eat something, please!” my mom said concerned as I stared blankly at my plate.
“Mom I really can’t eat anything. I promise I will later.” My mom sighed.
“Sweetie, you need your strength. I’ll make you a smoothie then.” She stood up and went to the cupboard and took out the blender.
Reagan caught my eye. “Just drink the smoothie Sutton.” She whispered, taking a bite of her scrambled eggs.
I sucked down the smoothie even though I wasn’t hungry at all. I watched the clock. It was still only 10:45. I wanted to at least wait until noon to find Luke.
“I think I’ll write him a letter,” I told Reagan, as we sat on the couch watching HGTV to kill time.
“That might be a good idea,” she said nodding. “That way if you’re nervous and you forget what you want to say you can at least give that to him.” She replied.
I stood up and looked for a notebook. I ripped a piece of paper out and grabbed a pen. I just started writing and I couldn’t stop.
“Okay, this might be the most gorgeous house I’ve ever seen.” I heard Reagan say in the distance. I shook my head and was brought back to reality. On the TV they were showing a beautiful farmhouse with rustic furniture.
“That is gorgeous.'' I replied.”
The host on the TV continued to show the couple around.
“Imagine living there? Oh my gosh!” I continued to watch the house tour except this time I saw Luke and I. Luke held a baby carrier with a baby inside and I held an adorable little girl’s hand, as we explored our new home. Luke flashed his signature grin at me every time we entered a new room and squeezed my hand.
Before my dream could continue the screen went black. I looked up to see Reagan standing up with the remote in her hands. “Noon.” She shouted! “Are you ready?” I took a deep breath.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” I replied.
My mom drove us in her blue van. Shane sat in the front and Reagan and I both sat in the backseat. She held my hand and my other hand was clenching the note. I felt like I was having a panic attack but I continued to sip my water and tried to calm down. I knew if my mom had any idea how horrible I felt she would make me go home.
We pulled in front of Luke’s house and I took a big breath in and slowly let it out. My mom immediately went into pep talk mode, with Reagan backing her up.
“Okay honey, no matter what happens, I promise everything is going to be okay. You have come such a long way and you have a great life ahead of you. Please just remember honey he doesn’t have the same memories you do so don’t feel like he’s rejecting you right away. Give him a chance to take it all in.”
“Have you thought about what you’re going to say to him?” Shane asked.
“I wrote some stuff down in case it’s hard for me to figure out what to say,” I replied, clenching the note.
“Wow, that was a great idea,” Shane said.
My mom forced a smile. “I love you, Sutton.” She grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I’ll be right here watching from the car. If you need me, just give me a wave.”
“And me too!” Shane said.
“Me three!” Reagan added.
“Would you come with me?” I asked looking over at my best friend.
“You want me to come?” She asked.
“I just- I don’t know. In case I freeze up or if anything ever happened?”
“Of course I’ll come with you.” She replied, grasping my hand again.
We got out of the car and stood in front of Luke’s house. It was painted a light blue color instead of the old tan color I remembered. There was also a “for sale” sign sticking out of the lawn. Reagan continued to hold my hand and we walked up the front steps and stopped right in front of the brown front door.
“You got this Sutton,” Reagan said to me, giving my hand a little squeeze.
“Should I just ring the doorbell?” I asked her. She nodded. My finger hovered over the doorbell for what felt like forever. Just as I was about to ring it the front door opened.
My heart skipped a beat. Luke stood there in front of us. I almost didn’t recognize him. His head was shaved down to a buzzcut and he was wearing a blue unif
orm.
“Oh my God, Sutton?” He said clutching the doorknob.
Before I could even say anything, the color completely drained from Luke’s face. He was as white as a ghost.“Are you okay?” Reagan asked him. He didn’t answer; he just stood there, his mouth wide open and his knees buckled.
Next thing I knew, Shane and my mom were hauling towards the house, and Luke was laid out in front of us. I must’ve been in shock because as Reagan, Shane, and my mom sprung into action I felt frozen. Suddenly everything was moving in slow motion around me.
Luke was stirring a little bit but not completely conscious. My mom uncrossed his legs which seemed mangled beneath him and held them high in the air. Shane and Reagan came in from the kitchen with a cold bottle of water and a wet dishtowel.
“Sutton are you okay?” My mom asked looking in my direction. I looked around just noticing I was still standing outside of the door. Luke kept opening and closing his eyes still clearly dazed. I nodded at my mom and slowly made my way over to Luke.
“What happened?” He moaned, rubbing his eyes. I noticed a patch on the sleeve of his uniform. “Coopersville Paramedic Program” it read. I felt a bit of excitement.
“You’re doing it, Luke.” I said quietly under my breath.
Finally, he snapped out of it. “Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed,” Luke said. “The EMT fainted. How ironic.” He grinned.
“Thank you Mrs. Greys and you guys, too.” He said looking towards Reagan and Shane.
“Here I’ll help you to the couch.”
“Thanks, man. Hey, I didn’t catch your names.”
“I’m Shane and this is my girlfriend Reagan,” Shane replied, gently pulling Luke up to a standing position and slowly walking him over to the couch.
“Nice to meet you guys. Sutton was standing at the door when I opened it right? I’m not going crazy.”
My mom motioned for me to go over to the couch. “She’s here and we’re going to give you two some time to talk.” My mom said. “We’ll be in the car; call if you need anything. Sit on the couch and rest for a few minutes.”
My mom, Shane, and Reagan walked out the door. As I approached the couch, I looked around the room. Every single thing looked exactly how I remembered it. I still couldn’t fathom the idea that I was about to meet Luke for the first time.
I rounded the corner of the couch and sat down next to him. He had a wet cloth on his forehead and was sprawled out with his feet up on the coffee table. “Hi,” I said to him, still tightly gripping the letter in my hands.
“Oh my gosh, Sutton. I’m so glad you’re okay.” Luke said putting his hand on my shoulder. The feeling of his hand against my skin made my body tingle. “I’m sorry, you probably think I’m such a weirdo. You don’t even know who I am. Apparently, your mom told you I’ve been coming to see you. Well I mean I haven’t been lately I’ve had a lot going on with school. Damn. I missed a lot. You woke up. You’re okay.” he said rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Interesting way to meet me, huh?” He chuckled.
“I can’t believe I fucking passed out and I just graduated from my EMT course this morning. I just couldn’t believe I was seeing you standing there in front of me.” He was rambling and it was adorable.
“Congratulations.” I smiled. “On EMT school I mean.”
“Thank you so much.” He replied.
“So, of course I want to know what happened and how you’re doing and everything but can I explain myself first?” He asked. I nodded.
I felt oddly calm and I decided to just let Luke say what he needed to say before I dropped a complete bomb on him. Luke rubbed his palms together and took a deep breath.
“Okay so, I really hope I don’t sound crazy telling you all of this but I really like to be honest. I saw you one day on the boardwalk with your mom. It was in June. I work at the Pizza Shack and I smiled at you and you looked away. That was the one and only time I saw you UNTIL.” A part of me hoped Luke would go on about crashing into me on his bike and recall all of the events of the summer I remembered experiencing with him but as he continued, I could tell that just like everyone had been telling me, that just wasn’t reality. “I saw your picture in the newspaper. I read about your accident and to make a long story short, the accident happened at a place that I’m familiar with.”
I gulped. From what I knew, Luke’s parents had gotten in an accident and were killed on that same bridge. “You kept popping up in my dreams and you were always with other people who are important to me so I just felt like I needed to start visiting you. I talked to you. I even brought my dog to meet you. I really hope you don’t think I’m a weirdo but there’s kind of more to the story and I don’t want to freak you out, the first time you’re meeting me. Anyways how are you feeling?”
I took a breath. “I’m doing okay actually. First off I just want to thank you for coming to see me. It really means more to me than I can even describe. I have some things to tell you too and I really hope you don’t think I’m crazy because what I’m going to tell you is going to sound pretty wild.”
Luke laughed. “Lay it on me.”
“Okay so... I woke up from my coma on November 5th. When I woke up I was really confused.” Luke nodded. “I was mostly confused because I remembered spending an entire summer here in Coopersville and I found out that none of it actually happened.”
I started to get choked up a little bit. Luke placed his hand back on my shoulder and comforted me. “I am so sorry. That must be so hard to deal with. I can’t imagine that.”
I swallowed and tried to stop my tears. “Luke, I remember a whole summer with you in it.” He looked at me confused. “I know that we didn’t spend this past summer together but while I was in the coma I basically dreamt of spending a whole summer with you.” He remained silent, so I continued on. “Some of the things I remember actually include real facts. I’m still trying to figure out how my brain could have completely fabricated all of my memories but I actually remember this stuff happening. You crashed into me on your bike while you were delivering pizzas. We spent many nights on the boardwalk together. You took me on a date and then showed me the sunflower field and told me all about your parents.”
Luke's eyes widened but he was still quiet. “You drove your uncle’s old fashioned red truck all summer long. We spent the Fourth of July together and that night Officer Galer had to bring home your Uncle Roger. I met your grandma at the nursing home. My dad came to visit and met you and we spent my last week here for the summer zip lining, going to the aquarium, watching your home videos, you threw me a going-away party, and then we stayed up all night. Then the next thing I knew I woke up in my hospital bed and was told none of that was true.” Now I was rambling and tears streamed down my face.
Luke put his head in his hands. “I’m, I’m so sorry Sutton. I don’t know what to say. I wish I could tell you that was true but it’s just not.” I started bawling and Luke pulled me in close, hugging me.
“I talked to you while you were in the coma but what the fuck... I didn’t mention everything you just said and some of it is true.”
We sat there in silence and I continued to cry just enjoying the feeling of Luke’s body against mine again. Just then, his phone rang.
He pulled away from me and reached in his pocket to pull it out.
“Hi Uncle Roger. No, yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes. I just got distracted.” He said before flipping the phone closed.
“I have to get going Sutton. Like I said earlier, I just graduated. My Uncle is throwing me a little party down at the Pizza Shack.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I am so glad you’re okay and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through so much. This is all just a lot for me to take in.” He stopped for a second. “But maybe we could meet up again sometime and continue this conversation.”
“I’m only here until Saturday,” I replied.
“Put your number in my phone.” He said. I entered my number into his phone and
then stood up.
“You shaved your head.” I blurted out as we walked towards the door. Luke smirked.
“Oh yeah.” He said rubbing his head. “My curly locks are gone. At least for now. I figured I looked more professional this way.” He replied. I smiled and nodded.
He held the door open for me and then we both stood on the stoop. “Stay safe Sutton. I’ll see you around.” It killed me to have him standing right there in front of me and not being able to plant a kiss right on his lips.
“See you around Luke,” I said as I walked to my mom’s van where everyone was clearly staring at us.
It was silent the whole car ride home. We pulled into Aunt Helen’s driveway and my mom put the car in park. Nobody moved or spoke until Reagan broke the silence. “Okay I’m sorry Lynn, I know you said to let her talk to us when she’s ready but I can’t take it anymore. How DID it go, Sutton? I mean after Luke fainted and all.” She giggled a little bit.
I bit my lip. “I’m not sure.”
“Well tell me what happened after we left!”
“We just talked. He rambled about how I must think he’s crazy.” I burst out laughing. “Since he didn’t even know me but he came to visit me.” I continued to laugh so hard that I cried. “But then I told him about what I remembered after I woke up from the coma. I should have said who is the crazy one now Luke?” Reagan gave me a weird look and my mom and Shane just stared at me.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and let out a big sigh. “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe this is actually my life.”
“Well, where did you leave it?” My mom asked, trying to pretend her daughter didn’t just have an outburst.
“I gave him my number and he mentioned us possibly meeting up again.”
Yay!” Reagan cheered. “Well, that’s good news right?”
I nodded. “Hopefully.”
I went about the rest of my day at Aunt Helen’s house. Reagan and I picked a new show on Netflix about life in high school. Every time a couple was pictured on the screen I swore I saw Luke and me.
“Where’s the note?” I said in a panic.
Know Him Page 11