REVENGE (Kenshaw Legacy Book 2)

by Piper Frost

  I have. I fucking have and it’s been killing me. I don’t think, I react and I grab a glass from the table, throwing it as hard as I can into the living room. “What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing! Fuck!” I almost flip the table but I stop myself and grip the back of a chair, leaning over to catch my breath. “I never said she was a fucking bitch, Paige. I asked her to please still love me even though I have a kid.” I look up at her and she’s backed against the counter.

  “First of all, you're cleaning that fucking mess before your brother comes home and kicks your ass.” She raises her eyebrows at me and crosses her arms in front of her. “And secondly, it’s not the kid she’s hurt over. It’s not the fact that you have a kid. She loves kids. And all she’s talked about these last two days before she stopped talking to anyone was how fucking cute your daughter is. She’s hurt because you didn’t trust her enough to tell her about Mia sooner. And I hate for both of you that you can’t see it’s not about the fact you're a dad. My sister deserves happiness, Sutton. And she had it with you, as twisted and fucking crazy as you two are, you’re weirdly perfect for each other. But if you can’t accept that you fucked up by not telling her...not because you have a kid, but because you kept the biggest part of your life from her...maybe it’s time you move on.”

  “You’re not in my fucking relationship, Paige!” I scream and storm toward her with my phone out, opening my texts to Leena. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I'm fucking sorry! Over and fucking over! Are you fucking seeing it! Do you fucking see it!” My phone’s in her face.

  “What the fuck are you doing!” my brother screams and as I turn, he grabs me by the throat and slams me to the ground.

  My ears ring and my vision blurs. I try to blink the ringing away but I get a fist to the jaw and it only makes it worse. I push up on my brother but it doesn’t do much ‘cause I’m not fighting. We’ve never fought physically before. My dad beat the hell out of us enough. But I guess if Fenton was screaming in Leena’s face, I’d beat the shit out of him too.

  “Fenton, stop!” Paige screams and tries pulling him off me. “Get off him!”

  My brother backs off but looking at his face, I know he’s not done. He wants more and I’m sure he was fighting way more than me just screaming at Paige. I’m a fuck up, an asshole, and I’m not going to change. Not for him at least. I get to my feet and touch my lip, not seeing blood. I keep my eyes on him, waiting for a second attack but Paige has pushed him into the corner.

  “You two are like children,” she snaps. “Sutton, get cleaned up. You’re going to talk to my sister like a human being and not through a fucking phone screen.” She looks back at Fenton. “No more punching your brother, are we clear?”

  I stare at my brother before he takes a deep breath and nods. Feeling like shit, I storm out of the house, ignoring Paige telling me to clean up. I go to the shed and pull my welding helmet on and I do the only thing I’m good at.

  When it’s dark and the rain has turned into a storm, I’m finally calm. I walk back into the house to clean the glass mess I made, but it’s already cleaned. My brother’s sitting on the couch and I throw the small ring box I just welded at his face, hoping he doesn’t catch it, but he does. He turns it a few times then looks at me.

  “You should propose, dumb ass,” I grumble at him and move for the hallway. I gently knock at Paige’s door before she opens, then hold out the single flower I welded. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, keeping my eyes on the flower.

  “I’m not the one you owe that type of apology to, Sutton.” She takes the flower. “But I’m keeping this, because it’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah, you are. Because you put up with me and you want Leena happy. And me. And I acted like a dick and screamed at you like I did her.” I huff. “Thanks, Paige.” I turn and walk out the front door, not giving a damn about the rain. I’m drenched by the time I make it to their front porch and I’m trembling like a little bitch. Mainly ‘cause I’m cold, but also because I have to face her dad. Her younger brother opens the door and I smirk. “Sup, dude?”

  “Leena doesn’t want to talk to you.” He leans against the door and I grit my teeth.

  “Okay, but can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “Griffin,” his mom sighs and pulls open the door. “Come in, Sutton. Did you walk here in the rain?” She rolls her eyes.

  “Mrs. Kenshaw.” I hold out a similar flower like I gave Paige and it kills me to address her so formally. I look up as Brandt walks into the room. “No flowers for you, sorry, big guy,” I say.

  “Why are you soaked? Did you walk here?” He glares at me then looks at the flower in his wife’s hand.

  “Yeah. Yes.” I clear my throat. “Sir. I did. I got a lot going on.” I point to my temple, trying not to scream for Leena because she’s the only reason I’m here.

  “I can assume you didn’t just come over to give my wife that?” He nods at the flower and shoves his hands in his pockets.

  “No.” I grab the camera I welded with both my hands and glance at it. “I didn’t.” I meet his eyes, wondering if he’ll make me beg, and I fucking would.

  “If she tells you to leave I expect you out that door before I can get to you. If she has to ask twice you're not welcome back on any of my property, son. You hear me?”

  “Yeah. Sir,” I blurt and dart to the stairs, taking them by two before he changes his mind.

  When I get to her door, I see her kid brother Garrison sitting next to the door with his back against the wall and a pad of paper in his hand. He looks up at me and shoots to his feet.

  “What’re you doin’ here?” Kid’s so short and angry looking it’s almost comical.

  “I want to see Leena.” I point to her door.

  “Well she doesn’t wanna see you.” He steps towards me. “Does my dad know you’re here?”

  I clench my jaw a minute but end up chuckling. “Yeah. He does. And how about we let Leena decide if she wants to see me.” She probably doesn't, but until she says it to my face, I’m not going anywhere.

  The door swings open and Leena steps out into the hall. “Garrison, leave him alone,” she mutters, shaking her head but not looking at me. She looks about as miserable as I feel.

  I give the kid a wink and move for the door but he jabs his palm against my chest. “I’m keeping my eye on you,” he warns me.

  “Got it.” I give him a curt nod and he finally walks away.

  Leena looks at me like she’s afraid to. Like looking at me actually hurts her.

  “Hi,” she whispers.

  I want to grab her and kiss her, beg her to forgive me, but I thrust the welded camera at her. “I made you that. Not because you hate me, but because I love you.”

  Does that even make sense?

  The piece is heavier than I thought it’d be, but I haven’t eaten in a couple days and my strength is shit. I look down at it and find it hard to form a smile.

  “Thanks,” I manage to say. I thought all my tears were done. I thought I’d dried up. But standing in front of him like I am it’s all rushing back to me. The hurt. The sadness that he didn’t trust me with something that big until he dropped it on me like a fucking bomb. I look at him and my chest aches for him. I still love him. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Can I close the door?” He glances back at it.

  “Sure.” I walk over to my desk and set the camera down, wanting to examine it more but feeling nervous because he’s standing here staring at me. “I got your messages,” I mutter.

  In an instant, he’s on his knees in front of me and grabs my hands. “I’m fuckin’ sorry, Leena. Please, I’m fucking sorry, okay?”

  “I..” I don’t know where to start. “I don’t care that you have a little girl,” I finally manage. “She’s adorable. And you look like you really love her. I’m not mad that you’re a dad, Sutton.”

  He quietly curses and slowly looks up at me, still on his knees. “I should have told you. But I didn’t know how and then I j
ust started worrying you’d split. I fucked up. I know that.” Pulling my hands to his lips, he kisses over my fingers, my palms, my wrists, then he freezes and I squeeze my eyes closed.

  “I’ve never hurt so bad,” I whisper. “Than the moment I realized you didn’t trust me.” I take a deep shaky breath.

  “I trust you,” he blurts getting to his feet. “Baby, I fucking trust you,” he says like he’s begging me to believe him. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I trust you with everything.”

  I nod, letting the tears fall.

  “I know that now.” I try and laugh. “My family won’t let me think any other way. They really like you.”

  His brows furrow and he turns my arms to see the self-inflicted cuts up my arm. “You don’t have to lie. I know your dad treats you like shit.” Lifting my arm, he gently kisses the wounds and I whimper.

  “Don’t.” I try to pull my arm away out of shame and embarrassment but he won’t let go. I don’t do it for attention. I do it because I needed to feel something other than the pain. Anything was better than that.

  “I hate myself right now,” he says pulling me toward my bed. When he sits, he pulls me to his lap. “I’m sorry I’m wet.” He kind of chuckles. “But I’m sorry for making you feel that. And I bet your family didn’t make it any easier for you.”

  A sob escapes me and I shake my head.

  “My family is amazing, Sutton,” I cry as the dam breaks. “They’re not bad people. I know I bitch about them, but they’re good.” I can’t see the tears are coming so fast. I feel like such a bitch...for everything. “They’re good people.”

  It takes a second but he chuckles in confusion. Another minute passes before he sets me on my bed and stands. “But your dad always talks about how your siblings are better than you. And your mom wants you to look like your sisters with blonde hair and...bows and shit or something.” He’s staring at me in confusion.

  “No, she doesn’t. She was so happy when I asked her to do my hair. And my dad...he’s a toughass but he’s never been anything but supportive. For all of us.” I try to take a deep breath but I can’t. “I just... God.” I swipe at the tears with trembling hands. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I made you believe that. But in my head...” Fuck, I’ve never talked to anyone about this. Ever. “In my head they’re always comparing me to them because I’m different. Because I’m not as good as them. And it eats at me and cuts me down.” I look at him with a plea. “I’m so sorry.” I can’t get out the words I want to use. I can’t tell him that before him I hated life. I can’t tell him that with him there’s actually light because that’s me admitting I have a problem. A much bigger problem than I want to accept.

  He rubs at his face and looks tired. “Wait...so.” His eyes stay locked on my wall for minutes and I almost beg him to say something, but he chuckles. “I didn’t think your dad was an asshole.” His eyes go to me. “He’s never been an asshole to me unless it was in your best interest.” He laughs and spins until he’s facing the door. I almost lunge for him to stop him from leaving but he turns back, confusion on his face. “I don’t get it. What don’t you fucking like about your life? I, uh...do you have any idea what it’s like to have abusive parents? That’s not shit you go around telling people when you...” He trails off, gesturing to the door. “They’re the fucking cowboy Brady Bunch, aren’t they, Leena?”

  “I never said they’re abusive,” I blurt, feeling like absolute shit. “You don’t get it. There’s no way you can compare your upbringing to mine. You were born into shit and have good reason to be pissed at the world for it. I was born...into that!” I wave towards the door. “Happy go fucking lucky with siblings that can do no wrong. No, my parents never hit me. Yes, they care about me and love me dearly, but that doesn’t change how I feel watching everyone succeed as I keep on failing.” I hate how I sound right now. Hate it.

  “You made me think they’ve verbally abused you,” he growls quietly like he’s keeping his voice down for their sake. “Why do you think you keep failing? Because of me? I bring you down or hold you back?” He actually looks like he thinks that.

  “No, no. No.” I stammer. “This has nothing to do with you.” And everything to do with you. I let out a stressed growl and pull at my hair. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry I made you think that way about my family, I am. But I’m not going to apologize for years of feeling like I don’t amount to anything around here. And I’m not going to sit here and rattle off every little thing that I feel sorry for myself about because for starters, you don’t want to hear it anyway, and...fuck!” I shoot to my feet and start to pace. He’s right. I’ve got it made. Mom and Dad pay for everything of mine. I’ve never had to get a job, and they’ve supported my decisions, as bad as they’ve been, almost my entire life. “It’s suffocating,” I finally say. “Being a Kenshaw is suffocating.”

  It’s not what he wants to hear, but it’s the truth. We’ve grown up with different problems. His created by other people. Mine created by myself. After a minute, he rips his wet shirt off and snatches the blanket my grandma made off my bed, wrapping it around himself. “I do want to hear everything you feel sorry for yourself about, so start talking,” he mutters and plops onto my bed. “What goes through your head that you’d fucking cut yourself instead of talk to me. Or, fuck, fucking cut someone else!”

  “Why would I cut someone else?” I mumble, staring at him. “That’s not...” The point? What the fuck is the point other than to feel something other than what I’m feeling at the time? “You won’t get it, Sutton. I know it’s stupid. I never go deep enough to actually make it bad. I just need to feel. To remind myself I’m still me.”

  He glares at me, looking like he hates me. “Sounds like we both got some fucked up problems.” He shakes his head. “I’ve felt like shit for days for keeping my kid from you, and I still feel bad. But, you’re no fucking different.” He gestures to me, throwing my blanket back onto my bed.

  “I know. Trust me. I’ve thought a lot being locked in here these last couple of days.” Just please don’t hate me. “I’m sorry.” I want to crawl to him, wrap myself around him, and let him help me but I don’t know if that’s even in the cards anymore.

  “You make me fucking crazy,” he mutters, moving around my room and looking at everything.

  “I know the feeling.” I sit on my bed and watch him pace around my room. The thought crosses my mind that maybe we aren’t good together. Maybe we’re both too broken to fix each other. But as soon as it does a pain shoots through me and I know, without a doubt, that I can’t do this without him. As crazy as we make each other, he’s the only solid thing I can hold on to when I feel like I’m sinking.

  He flips through a scrap book my sister made me when we were younger and without asking, he lifts the plastic and takes one of the pictures, pushing it into his back pocket like I’m not standing right here. He turns back to me. “Now what?” He shrugs and I look at his naked chest, wondering what my dad would say if he came in here to shirtless Sutton.

  “I love you,” I say. “I can’t stay away from you and stay sane, Sutton.” I lick my lips, my eyes flashing to his abs. God, three days has felt like a lifetime.

  “Yeah, okay, so we gonna do this then? Together? No more bullshit?”

  It’s terrifying letting someone into your life completely. Especially when you’ve managed to fuck up your life so bad it’s hard to tell truth from misconstrued feelings. But I want that with him. I want him to let me into his life and I know in return I have to let him in. Crazy, dark, twisted thoughts and all.

  “Yeah,” I whisper, nodding and using everything in me to keep from running to him and wrapping my arms around him. “I’m all in if you are, Sutton.” My hands are shaking as he stares at me, tight jaw and an unreadable face.

  “I like I can be crazy with you, but not like this. Not when shit’s going to hurt each other. Okay?”

  “I know. I’m so sorry.” I am, too. Because I never a
ctually thought of the implications of me bitching to him. I wasn’t plotting against my family. I didn’t want him to hate them. Fuck, I don’t even know what I wanted. Maybe to feel better about myself? I don’t know, but never did I think of it the way he saw it.

  “You’re fucking perfect to me. For me.” He walks toward me, grabbing my hand and lifting my arm to kiss the cuts. “We’re perfect together, right?”

  “Yeah.” I smile. “We are.” His lips come in contact with each line until he’s done then he looks me in the eyes.

  “I love you, Leena.” He yanks me against him and my smile widens. When people see him do that, they probably think he’s aggressive with me, but I love it because he only dominates when I want him to. “Stop doing this shit.” He glances down at my arm before looking into my face.

  “All in,” I whisper and shrug. “I can’t promise I’ll never think about it again. It’s been happening for so long, but I know I have someone I can talk to now. I didn’t have that before you.”

  “Yeah, well I’m fuckin’ all here now.” He shifts and pulls me against his chest. “Kiss me and tell me you forgive me.” He dips his head so I can get to his lips but doesn’t kiss me.

  “I forgive you, Sutton.” I close the space between us and slam my lips to his, sighing the minute our skin connects because this is what I need. This is what I crave.

  “Can you be quiet for me?” he whispers on my lips and my body trembles at his words.

  “I can try.” I grin and he walks me back towards the bed. His fingers slip into the waist of my leggings and he glances over his shoulder before dropping to his knees, taking them to my ankles.

  “No noises or no coming,” he whispers and starts kissing from my thigh to the middle, his tongue slowly extending and licking up the center of me.

  This whole no noise thing is really fucking difficult when he’s licking my clit and driving me wild like this, but if it means I get to finish I’d fucking duct tape my mouth closed. I let my hands roam through his hair, arching into him and bucking against his face, only letting the tiniest of squeaks out when he pushes his fingers inside me.