by Kat T. Masen
“And Adriana…”
The butterflies rev up their engines as my name rolls off his tongue. God, how can just saying my name affects me in a way that’s so indescribable?
“Yes,” my voice cracks in anticipation.
My ear is glued to the earpiece as I close my eyes briefly and focus on his breathing. It’s uneven and quick. My throat dries up as I wait desperately for his feelings to connect to his voice.
“I miss you,” he adds softly.
I smile, my body relaxing immediately. “I miss you, too.”
We hang up, and I reluctantly walk back into the restaurant with no doubt the biggest smile on my face which seems impossible to hide. Charlie and Eric are in a heated argument but stop as soon as I sit down. Charlie is watching me, waiting for me to say something, but to annoy the fuck out of her, I sit and remain quiet. Very un-Adriana like.
“Everything okay?” she asks curiously.
“Yeah, peachy keen, jelly bean,” I respond with a grin.
Ava’s wail distracts Charlie. She tells us she is going to change Ava in the restroom and is quick to leave me alone with Eric. Eric is biting his tongue waiting for Charlie to be a good distance away from us.
“Adriana, look at you,” he teases with delight.
“What? Spinach in my teeth?”
He laughs. “No, sweetie, you’re happy.”
“Eric, not now, please. We talked about this.”
“I know. Nothing to be said to Charlie or Lex. Or Kate. Or Nikki and Rocky. Or anyone! You can’t hide this forever, though.”
Well, duh.
“Eric, I’ll be quick before Charlie comes back. I’ve been thinking long and hard about something…”
He waits in anticipation, rubbing his hands together.
“I want to go to Sydney.”
“Holy jizzballs,” he gasps. “For how long?”
“I’m thinking maybe a week. Just for his book launch.”
“You realize it’s not a hop in the car, and I’m there in an hour?”
“No shit, Sherlock! It’s always been my dream to open a boutique in Sydney, and I’ve been researching commercial real estate, so why don’t I kill two birds with one stone?”
“Is that the official story you’re telling Lex and Charlie?”
“Eric, don’t start.” My smile wavers while I bow my head, bouncing back and forth between happiness and guilt. “This is hard enough.”
“I know that, Adriana, but, girl, you can’t hide this forever.” He pauses, then places his hand on mine. “Whether you let the cat out of the bag now or in a few months, prepare yourself for the biggest ever shit-storm of holy shit-storms to ever grace this earth. We’re talking, build your ark now because even Noah is looking down saying ‘holy shit, you’re screwed.’”
My blood starts to boil in anger yet I try to calm myself. This isn’t Eric’s fault. I’m a big girl, and I know what will happen when this gets out. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me.
“Well, right now, I don’t know what’s happening. I just want to support him.” I take a big gulp of water to calm myself a little, the room becoming hotter than usual. “Eric, this might not go anywhere, so why rock the boat?”
My shoulders droop almost instantly, my stare distant as reality knocks me cold. The thought of it not going anywhere saddens me more than I expected. Stop over-thinking things.
“Will you leave Andy?”
“I’ve spoken to my mom, and she is happy to have him for five days.”
“So, it sounds like you’ve got it all planned out. Just be careful,” he warns.
“Of what?”
“I don’t know, getting hurt. You know how much I like Julian since I’ve gotten to know him. He is practically like family to me since Tristan and I moved in together. But Adriana, he’s recovering, too.”
We see Charlie walking back with a settled Ava. “What did I miss?”
Eric blurts it out. “Adriana’s going to Australia!”
I shoot him an annoyed look for putting me on the spot. Honestly, his behavior is so elementary school.
“Wow! That’s far… why?” she quizzes.
“Uh… you know how I’ve talked about expanding my boutique? Well, there’s a space I want to look at. There’s a lot of demand within the Australian market, and I’ve got many clients who order from the States willing to pay the ridiculous shipping charges.”
I hate lying to my best friend.
“Sounds like a great reason to go.” She smiles, unaware of my extended lie. “When are you going and are you taking Andy?”
“This Friday. And no, Mom offered to take care of him. It’s only for five days.”
“Wait, this Friday? That’s quick. Why didn’t you say something earlier? Or is this one of those things that Lex has known about for ages but forgot to tell me, again?”
And the web of lies spins deepen.
“No, he doesn’t know.” Because if he did, he’d be on the first plane to Australia to murder Julian with his bare hands.
I quickly think of a reason why. “I’m scared of failure, Charlie. Opening the boutique is a massive dream. The other night I was thinking just take the leap, and whatever happens, happens.”
“Adriana, it’ll be fine. You’re so talented, and there’s a huge demand for funky boutiques just like yours,” she says, resting her hand on mine to reassure me. “Just the other day I was reading an article about small boutiques pocketing nice profit from the upturn in the stock market.”
“Nice story, Charlie,” Eric drags. “Can you tell that to me with a menu in your hand? I’m starving.”
Charlie lets out an annoyed huff.
“So, it’s settled, I’m going to Sydney,” I say loudly.
Charlie smiles back at me while Eric smirks.
“Watch out, Australia, Adriana’s coming Down Under!” Eric roars.
Charlie bursts out laughing, but I know the meaning behind Eric’s comment. Muthafucking little shit.
The truth? I’m nervous as hell.
You see, I’ve only ever been with one man. I was never the type to sleep around like everyone else I knew in high school. And to add, the man I had been with had only ever been with me.
Now, I’m kind of seeing—if you want to call it that—a man who has not only been with several, probably hundreds, of women, but has slept with my best friend numerous times and even proposed marriage to her.
Maybe this isn’t the best idea.
But I miss him.
We haven’t seen each other in four months. Will he expect me to jump in bed with him if I fly over to see him? Suddenly, the bile rises in my throat, and I quickly reach for the iced water to calm myself down.
Perhaps I didn’t think this through properly.
Julian is a man, after all, and men have needs.
Needs I may not be able to meet.
And just like always, guilt rears its ugly head when I find a morsel of confidence. I’m sick of this carousel of emotions, desperate to get off this ride and wish the spinning to simply stop.
The furthest I have ever been from the States is Geneva a few years ago when Elijah was receiving chemotherapy.
I remember how draining the flight was, and on top of that, my emotions were a train wreck with the uncertainty of what was to be expected of me.
Australia is a ridiculous long haul.
A delayed flight and fourteen fucking hours airtime were exhausting, and thankfully, I brought my Kindle, immersing myself in reading some steamy smut. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, then I remembered who I was meeting, and sexually riling myself up, perhaps isn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had.
Six hours into the flight, the reality of how far I am from Andy has really sunk in, resulting in a quick dash to the restroom to sob in private.
I am drained.
Hitting the tarmac makes it official. I’ve landed, and now I have the task of getting myself to the hotel with little time to spare and glam my
self up, getting ready to find Julian.
The hotel is located in the heart of the city, and I know Julian is staying at the same one. As soon as I check-in, I run up to the room, throwing my suitcase into the corner and hopping into the shower to wash off with a hope of waking myself up. I lost the concept of time, the change in time zones completely throwing me off, and my body desperate for sleep.
From the bits and pieces Julian has mentioned, the party is semi-formal. I settle on one of my new designs—a burgundy-colored floor-length dress with a split, made with chiffon fabric and a low-plunging V-neck. Despite my chest being small, the dress fits perfectly, and the design accentuates the curves of my breasts. I place a white-gold chain around my neck with a cross which hangs low, sitting right between my cleavage. To complement my dress, I slip into my silver Louboutin pumps.
Examining myself in the mirror, I don’t look too bad considering I’ve barely slept, and the air inside the plane left my skin dry and tired-looking. I’m not a huge makeup wearer, usually applying only eye shadow and mascara but decide to add a bit of foundation with a touch of lipstick.
My hair has grown slightly longer, sitting just above my shoulders since the last time Julian saw me. The color is a mixture between cherry red and auburn. With not much time to spare, I run some hair product through my hands and smooth it in, choosing to leave it out instead of my usual messy bun.
I’m ready to go.
Breathe, one… two… three…
I grab my hotel key and head out the door.
***
The concierge escorts me to the private area which looks out onto the harbor. I thank him, offering a tip, which he kindly refuses. Gosh, what a swell fella.
From where I stand, the view is breathtaking. The venue is called the Palais, located in an amusement venue called Luna Park. The small seaside park reminds me of Coney Island—a rollercoaster overlooking the water, various rides including a Ferris wheel. Across the harbor is the iconic Sydney Opera House, and sitting high and mighty is the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
All of which, an experience I never thought possible.
I have an awful habit of crossing my fingers whenever I’m nervous, childish as it may be, and right now, nervous is be a huge understatement. Behind these doors lies a feeling which frightens me. A feeling I’ve desperately tried to push aside because the moment I allow the thought to linger, the guilt will eat me alive.
I turn the corner, my heart hammering in my chest. My airways close in, and I think I’m going to run out of air until I see him, standing by himself staring out into the harbor.
He is perfectly still, dressed in his black suit, hair styled to perfection from the angle where I stand. Deep and lost in thought, he makes no move and fails to notice my presence.
Still thinking about my opening line, I watch him pull his cell out of his suit pocket, frantically typing away. The vibration in my clutch makes me smile. I thank the Lord I have my cell on silent.
Julian: Did you know the Ovation of the Seas is the largest boat ever to enter Sydney Harbour?
I want to burst out laughing at his text. As much as I tell him that his random facts serve no purpose, I love these texts purely because I never know what to say and guess what, the majority of the time I have no idea and actually learn something new. He is like a walking encyclopedia. I quickly think of a witty response.
Me: You’d be surprised with how educated I am in boat trivia. Did you know Dionne Warwick sung the theme song to Love Boat for the final season?
He reads the text, and I see his shoulders move up and down as he quietly laughs to himself.
Julian: Now that you’ve mentioned it, it’s stuck in my head. If I sing it out loud at the party, I think they’ll ship me back to the States. I guess it’ll distract me from this extremely uncomfortable suit I’m wearing.
It’s now or never, no turning back, especially when I flew fourteen hours to get here. I have to grow some lady balls, that’s all there is to it.
Me: Stop complaining like a girl, you look very handsome if I say so myself.
As he reads the text, his body stiffens, and even from behind, I can see his chest rising and falling. He tilts his head slightly, allowing me to catch a glimpse of his profile. His eyes are closed, and with bated breath, I wait anxiously for him to notice I’m standing right behind him.
Like a flick of a switch, his eyes open, and his body turns to face me.
My heart is now in overdrive, beating wildly as the smile widens across his perfectly chiseled jaw.
“Adriana,” he says, barely a whisper.
My body moves toward him, my knees threatening to buckle. Only an arm’s reach apart, I stop before him.
“You said you needed a plus one. It was either Penny or me, and trust me, it wasn’t that easy to convince Penny to stay home.”
He places his hands in his pockets almost like he is trying to stop himself from physically reaching out to me. It’s the small gestures like this making me want him even more. He understands me, has seen me at my worst, accepts me for who I am, and who I’ll forever be bonded to.
Julian walks over to the table by the window and pulls a flower out of the large vase. Walking back toward me, he grabs my wrist and ties the stem into a knot, making a corsage.
“Thank you, plus one.”
It could’ve been my heart thumping so loud or the blood pumping in my veins making me want to do the unexpected. The one thing I knew would change everything about who I was and what we were—I jump on my tiptoes placing my arms around his neck, embracing him tightly.
At first, he is still, then his body relaxes, and he moves his arms around my back and squeezes me tight.
Everything about this feels right, yet everything about it is so wrong.
How can I fall in love with a man who once hated my brother and loved my best friend?
Worse yet, how could I fall in love again?
And just like that, the pang of guilt hits me as the tears I try to hold in fall freely onto Julian’s shoulder. Struggling to remain quiet, he’s quick to sense my change in mood and pulls away. I hear the lift of his arm as he cups my chin and raises my face to meet his. The stare in his eyes eases my fear, the deep brown eyes watching me.
“We can take this as slow as you feel comfortable,” he murmurs, never leaving my gaze. “Don’t be scared.”
“I’m… scared,” I stammer, bowing my head while trying to piece my thoughts together. “I flew across the world to see you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Yes. It means you’re a supportive friend, Adriana. Don’t put more pressure on yourself than you need to.”
How does he always know what to say to ease my fears?
He raises his arm to check his watch. “It’s time.”
Holding out his arm out in a friendly gesture, I link my arm into his.
“Julian?”
He stops and focuses his attention back on me.
“So, the paparazzi at this event…” I hold back, my paranoia on overdrive. The last thing I want is the tabloids to get wind of this and Lex finding out through some greedy photographer wanting a quick buck.
“Yes, if you’re asking if the media will be at this event. It will go online and make it to the States, or shall I say to your brother’s email? There’s a possibility.”
I pull my arm away not realizing I had done so until I see the look of disappointment in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
He cuts me off, placing his finger on my lips, gentle, yet my body begins to feel things, a warm sensation spreading like wildfire.
“Let’s just enjoy tonight, okay?”
We continue to stare at one another until his fingers move toward my collarbone and lace the chain around my neck, tracing them down to where the cross sits inches away from the curves of my breasts. The tips of his fingers linger right in the middle, moving gently to pick up the pendant in his hands.
This is why you wear
bras, stupid! Now the whole world will see you’re aroused.
In a nervous move, I unexpectedly wrap my arms around him, burying myself into his masculine scent which is driving me insane. I feel his breath linger on my ear, sensing his struggle to hold back his feelings.
“Adriana… you look stunning,” he whispers, resting his hands on my hips. “You need to let go of me, or else we won’t be able to leave this room.”
I can’t be sure if it’s the lack of a man’s touch, or his words, which cause my body to go into a meltdown, and I may have felt something against me, something extremely hard.
His dick, Adriana. Fucking admit he has a hard-on.
I reluctantly pull away.
He opens the door with the most delicious smile plastered on his face. “You’re going to kill me.”
“It’s nice to know I have that effect.” I wink back.
“If only you knew how much, Adriana… If only you knew.”
The sun has set, the night sky illuminated by the vast range of buildings clustered in the city.
I find myself drawn to the view of the bridge, the flickering lights creating a picturesque light show. I have to pinch myself. Never in a million years did I think I’d be fortunate enough to experience this dream.
But once upon a time, you and your husband dreamed this dream, and now you’re here with another man.
I beg the voices to stop.
Walking into the spacious open room takes my breath away. Scattered around are tall white tables with leather bar stools surrounding them. The flooring is lit up like a neon light show, unusual yet very modern. There are large bi-fold doors opening onto a balcony, allowing a soft sea breeze to fill the room.
The room is totally stunning as is everyone in it. People in their gorgeous dresses and suits fill the room, and all of them are here to celebrate the man of the evening. Julian.