by Sarah Morgan
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HI, ALEC, GREAT to see you again.
Should she kiss him, or not?
Yes, but maybe just a kiss on the cheek, as friends would.
On the other hand, was that weird given everything they’d been doing together for the past few weeks?
She tried not to feel disappointed that she hadn’t heard from him.
It had only been a few days. And he had no reason to contact her.
Hi, Alec. Merry Christmas. I hope all your Christmas-ses are white.
Well, of course they were going to be white. As long as he was living in Maine, there wasn’t much doubt about that.
Exasperated with herself and exhausted from contorting her face into a variety of happy smiles, Sky arrived at the airport in Boston and found Zach waiting for her.
“It’s Christmas morning. You’re not supposed to work on Christmas morning.” She kissed him and was surprised when he returned her hug.
“I only do special deliveries. Brit is with me. She’s in the plane. Emily would have come, too, but she’s cooking.”
“Of course she is.” Part of her was touched that Brit had come, too, but another part of her would have liked to use the time to further her plan of how she was going to greet Alec.
She’d been bracing herself to do this alone.
Was it better to do it in front of her friends, or worse?
Nerves fluttered in her stomach like a flurry of snowflakes dancing in the wind.
Should she kiss him? Cheek or mouth? What was appropriate for two people who had been intimate but not committed in any way? What was off-limits?
Hauling her bag over her shoulder, she followed Zach.
She was overthinking this. With the six of them, Agnes, Lizzy and two dogs it was going to be mayhem, and mayhem would mean Alec was less likely to notice any subtle differences in her interaction with him. Ironic, she thought, that this was the Christmas she’d dreamed of having for so long, and now it promised to be more stressful than anything she’d experienced with her family.
The weather was bitterly cold and she followed Zach up the steps of the plane and was immediately enveloped by warmth and a hug from Brittany.
“Merry Christmas.”
“You should be home playing with Jaws under the Christmas tree. You didn’t have to come.”
“I wanted to see you. I’ve been a crap friend.”
“You’re never a crap friend.”
Looking alarmed, Zach vanished to the cockpit.
“Yeah, I was.” Her voice husky, Brit pulled away. “I was so wrapped up in my own world, thinking about the camp, Philip, Zach—I didn’t pay attention. Do you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive. How is Philip?”
“He’s doing well, thanks, but I don’t want to talk about him right now. The only person I want to talk about is you. I’m officially worried.”
“You don’t need to be. And I’m glad you’re busy and happy.” Sky stood for a minute, absorbing warmth and friendship.
Different, she thought, but no less genuine.
She’d been silly to think it. Whatever life threw in their direction, they weathered it together and they’d weather this.
The flight was short and uneventful and Zach drove the short distance from the airfield to Harbor House.
The island roads were empty, the snow banked high on either side. They passed a few houses, lights sparkling in the windows, their gardens plunged under mounds of snow and ice.
As Zach pulled up outside Harbor House Sky felt so nervous she was sure her hands were shaking.
She told herself it would be fine once the first awkward meeting was over.
And it wasn’t awkward for him, of course. Just her.
The door opened before they’d made it up the steps and Emily hugged her and pulled her inside. “Merry Christmas. I’m so glad you made it. All of us together!”
Cocoa hurled herself across the room and licked her while Jaws glared at her from his post at the foot of the stairs.
Sky made a fuss of Cocoa and summoned up the smile she’d been practicing. The one that said nothing was wrong.
“I brought gifts!” She waved the bags she was carrying. “Real ones, not empty ones.”
“Come and put them under the tree. We’re doing gifts later.”
Sky walked through to the living room. Candles flickered on the high surfaces and the lights on the Christmas tree glowed like tiny fireflies. Lizzy crawled under it, rearranging gifts and adding the ones from Sky’s bags.
A large bay window overlooked the sloping garden, now hidden under a thick blanket of winter white. On a clear day there was a perfect view across the bay to the mainland.
Children, dogs and good friends, she thought. The perfect Christmas.
If you ignored the fact that she felt as if she’d been crushed by a heavy object.
She couldn’t breathe. She ached all over. Maybe she was coming down with the flu.
There was no sign of Alec.
She hoped he wasn’t staying away because of her.
“Don’t eat the chocolate on the Christmas tree,” Lizzy said solemnly. “It’s for Zach.”
Grateful for the distraction, Sky raised her eyebrows. “All of it?”
“He never had chocolate on the tree growing up. This is all his. Brittany and I fixed it for him.”
Sky saw livid color highlight Zach’s cheekbones and then he dropped into a crouch in front of Lizzy.
“You did that for me?”
Lizzy nodded. “Brittany and I chose the chocolate together. You can eat all of it if you like. It’s yours.”
Zach looked at the tree and then at Brittany and something passed between them.
A wordless, intimate exchange that excluded everyone else in the room.
Then he rose to his feet. “That is a lot of chocolate. I think I’m going to need some help.”
“That’s cool.” Lizzy slipped her hand into his. “If you’re sure.”
“Champagne time.” Ryan disappeared into the kitchen and emerged moments later with two bottles. Emily followed with glasses just as Alec walked into the room.
Sky felt her heart accelerate like a racehorse out of the starting gate.
She was so pleased to see him she wanted to hurl herself across the room like Cocoa, wag her tail and lick him all over. Instead she gave him a smile that she hoped was natural, and then turned to Ryan.
“Champagne! Great idea. Just hand me the bottle and a straw,” she said and then gave a weak smile. “Just kidding.”
Emily shot her a concerned look and she realized that both her friends appeared more jumpy than usual.
They were probably worried she was going to cause a scene with Alec.
Had it been unfair of her to be honest with them?
“In a minute.” Alec’s gaze was fixed on hers. “First, I want to talk to Sky alone. Could you all give us a moment?”
“No, we couldn’t.” Brittany sat down on the sofa with a determined thump. “It’s Christmas, Alec. I don’t see what you could possibly want to say to Sky that we can’t all hear.”
Sky wondered why Brittany was glaring at him. “Have you two had an argument or something?”
“No.” Alec turned to look at her. A muscle flickered in his jaw and his eyes were dark and serious. “If they won’t leave, then we’ll leave. Come into the kitchen.”
She had no idea why Alec wanted to be alone with her, but she knew she didn’t want to be alone with him.
He was far less likely to notice a change in her when they were surrounded by people.
“Why the kitchen? I like it here, with the lovely tree.”
His gaze was steady. “I need to talk to you, Sky. And I’d rather do it in private.”
“It’s Christmas,” Emily said desperately. “This is family time. Friend time.” She stumbled. “Whatever you have to say, Alec, can wait.”
“Time to open that champagne, Ryan,” Britta
ny said brightly, but Ryan didn’t move.
“What they’re not telling you,” Alec said slowly, “is that I overheard your conversation.”
Sky frowned, puzzled. “What conversation?” And then she knew and her knees turned to water. “You mean—?”
“Yes, that conversation. The one where you told them that you love me and you didn’t want me to know.”
All sounds faded into the background.
If she’d ever been in a more hideous, uncomfortable situation she couldn’t remember it.
She felt the hot scald of humiliation darken her cheeks. “But how—?”
“I put you on speakerphone,” Brittany muttered. “Em wanted to listen, too. We didn’t know we had a third pair of ears. You can kill us anytime you want. Advertise for new friends. I’ll pay for the ad myself.”
Sky dug her nails into her palms. “You heard?” Her mouth was dry. “How much?”
Alec held her gaze. “All of it. Every word.”
She wanted to crawl under the Christmas tree and hide among the presents. She felt more exposed than she ever had in her life before. “Right.” Trying to maintain her dignity, she gave what she hoped passed as a casual shrug. “Well, we said we wanted an honest relationship, I guess that’s what we have. You know how I feel.” And she knew how he felt. “And I’m sure hearing that scared the crap out of you.”
“Is that why you went home? Because you were in love with me and you were afraid you couldn’t hide it?”
“To begin with.” If he’d heard the conversation then he already knew everything. She figured that more honesty couldn’t make her feel worse. “I was afraid you’d guess, and that wasn’t fair to you. But five minutes with my parents was all it took for me to realize that avoiding you would mean losing the most important people in my life. Don’t feel awkward, honestly. It’s fine.” She turned to Ryan, desperate to shift the focus. “Let’s open that champagne. Em can’t drink so I’ll have hers, too.”
“Not yet.” Alec stepped toward her. “You’ve told me the truth, so now it’s my turn.”
That was one thing she really did not want to hear. She could just about cope with telling him the truth of how she felt, but she couldn’t cope with hearing how he felt spelled out. “I know I broke the rules,” she said. “I know I said this wouldn’t happen and I really believed it at the time—I didn’t lie. None of this is your fault, and I promise it won’t be awkward. After Christmas I have to go back to New York and you’re off to Antarctica so we won’t even see each other for months.”
His response to that was to hold out his hand to Lizzy.
“Now?” She hissed the word in a theatrical whisper, and when he nodded she scrambled out from under the tree carrying a large parcel. She handed it solemnly to Alec, who in turn handed it to Sky. “Merry Christmas.”
Emily looked puzzled. “I thought we agreed to do presents after lunch?”
“This isn’t a Christmas present.” Alec had his eyes on Skylar. “Open it.”
Wondering why he was giving her a gift now, and why Lizzy was involved, Sky slid her finger under the tape and opened the present. It was soft and bulky and the paper fell away to reveal a down jacket in a pretty shade of blue.
“Oh. It’s great. I love it. Thank you. It will be useful for Maine winters, especially if I can’t borrow yours.”
“You won’t be wearing it in Maine.” He was talking just to her, as if no one else was in the room. And no one said anything. No one moved. “You said there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. I hope you still think that when you’re shivering with me in a tent in Antarctica.”
Her brain was having trouble making sense of what he was saying. “Why would I be shivering with you in a tent?”
“Because you’re coming with me. At least, I hope you are. You said you wanted adventure. I’m offering you adventure. It’s only for a few weeks, but after that I’m going to Iceland with a film crew to make a documentary on the Vikings. If it fits with your own plans, I hope you’ll come with me there, too. Jewelry was important to the Vikings. I think you’d be interested.”
Antarctica? Iceland?
“You want me to come with you?” Her head was full of questions, but she was afraid to ask any of them in case she humiliated herself more than she already had. “But you do these things by yourself. You don’t like feeling trapped or restricted.”
“I never feel restricted with you, and if I was ever trapped, I hope you’d be there with me. In fact I’m adding you to my list of essential items to have with me next time there’s a storm warning.”
To her acute embarrassment she felt her eyes fill. “Alec—”
“You said that hearing that phone call scared the crap out of me, and it did. But not because I heard you say you loved me. I already knew that. I knew you loved me, but I didn’t trust myself not to hurt you. I didn’t trust myself to be able to make you happy. After everything that has happene with your parents and then Richard, you didn’t need another person crushing your dreams. And when it comes to love, you have big dreams, Sky. I’d convinced myself that the best way of helping you to be happy was to stay away. So when you said you were leaving me, I didn’t stop you even though watching you leave was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Alec—”
“I proved to myself that day that I’m not as selfish as I thought, because if I was I would have stopped you going. Letting you walk out of that door almost killed me.” He took a deep breath. “And then I heard that phone call. I heard you tell your friends that being with me was the happiest time of your life. I heard you tell them that I made you happy and those were, without doubt, the best words I’d ever heard. The second best was hearing you say you were coming back for Christmas Day.”
“You went dashing out of the house,” Brittany muttered and Alec nodded, his gaze still fixed on Sky.
“Because the shops were only open for a short time. I needed to do something to convince you that you aren’t the only one with strong feelings. Words aren’t enough, we both know that.”
From him, words would have been enough.
“You have strong feelings?” She didn’t dare believe it. She didn’t dare. “How strong?”
He strode toward her and her eyes widened as she saw the look in his eyes.
“Oh, Alec—”
He kissed her.
His mouth was warm and sure and he kissed her as if she were as essential to him as breathing. She could feel the strength of him, the hard power of his body as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close.
They’d shared hundreds of kisses over the past few weeks, but this one felt different and she couldn’t work out why. Her brain tried to decipher the signals, to understand, but it was like reaching up to touch a cloud. There was nothing she could grab.
Through the mists of her brain she heard Lizzy giggle and Brittany clear her throat.
Finally, Alec eased her away from him.
“Put the jacket on, sweetheart.” His voice was husky and she was shaking so much she dropped it twice.
She still wanted to know why the kiss felt different.
“Sorry. I feel like jelly.”
Smiling, he took it from her and fed her arms into the sleeves. “Put your hands in the pockets.”
His eyes were warmth and darkness and she couldn’t look away.
She fumbled and drew out something from both pockets, a box from the left and an envelope from the right.
She heard Emily gasp and Brittany give a choked laugh.
“Go, Alec. Ignore the envelope, open the box, Sky.”
“The envelope is a ticket to Antarctica.” Alec took the box from her shaking hand before she could drop it and flipped it open.
Sky stared down at the huge diamond, sparkling like the lights on the Christmas tree.
“Oh—oh, Alec—”
“Do you have any idea how terrifying it is choosing jewelry for someone as talented as you?�
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“I love it. It’s stunning. But—”
“I didn’t want to propose to you in public,” he said softly, “but given that our friends won’t leave the room, I have no choice. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“Y-you’re proposing?”
“Why would I leave?” Brittany grinned. “This is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. And, Sky, if you don’t say yes in front of me I’ll never forgive you.” She snapped a photo on her phone. “I’m tweeting this to your hundred thousand followers, Alec. Tough, cynical Alec Hunter is now soft, marshmallow Alec Hunter.”
Sky saw his mouth flicker at the corners.
“Children are present,” Emily said hastily, and ushered Lizzy toward the kitchen. “Come and stir the cranberry sauce. We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done. Brit, I need your help. Ryan, Zach—”
With a sigh Brittany rose to her feet. “Okay. I guess you’re right. But I want a full report later. No detail left out.”
Their friends melted away and finally Alec and Sky were alone with the flicker of the fire and the scent of the Christmas tree.
Alec took her hand. “When we went for that walk that day at my parents’ you told me that jewelry had meaning. That it was an expression of emotion.” He slid the ring onto her finger. “This tells you that I want a lifetime with you. It says I love you and that I want you by my side for every adventure life offers us. Forever.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. “Say something. Anything. As long as it’s not no.”
She felt the heavy, unfamiliar weight of the ring on her finger and the swell of emotion in her heart. “You really are proposing?”
“I’m telling you I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don’t mind whether we make that official or not. It’s you I want, not a ceremony or a piece of paper. I don’t care about any of that. We’re going to be together because it’s what we both want. Because there is no one else we’d rather take this adventure with.” He stroked her hair away from her face, his eyes gentle. “Of course, if you married me it would stop your parents plotting your romantic future and it would make my parents’ day, but every decision we make is for us, not for anyone else.”