“I wanted to get away from the party.” He said smoothly, a little too smoothly. Hmm.
“Too much fun for you huh? I should have set you and Wendy up, you’re both spoilsports. She snuck home early, too.” Roxie grinned at them both, but Wendy wasn’t letting her friend off so easily either.
“Um, excuse me? What are you doing here at this time, lady?” Wendy’s hands were on her hips, her mouth twisted.
“Oh. Well...” Now it was Roxie looking away, trying to dodge questions. “I’d better get some clothes.”
17
Roxie
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I can’t stay with you for however long it’s going to take to fix the place.” Roxie settled into the seat as Lincoln got in on the driver’s side once they left the police station. She’d officially pressed charges against the man she’d almost thought she was in love with. If that wasn’t a mood-killer, nothing was.
“It’ll be fine. I have enough room.” He said but paused to send a message to someone on his phone.
She wasn’t about to pry, not when she could still remember the way she’d stormed off from his house earlier. She asked him to stop at an all-night convenience store and rushed in to buy a bottle of water and some sour gummy bears. They were one of her weaknesses and in times of stress, she turned to them instead of cigarettes or chocolate. She picked up another pack of sour gummy peach candy and paid for it before she went back to the car.
“Want one?” She asked and held out the peach candy.
“No thanks.” He shook his head but did look intent when he saw a restaurant with an all-night drive-through. “I do want coffee and an apple pie though.”
“You’ll lose that fabulous figure if you keep eating those.” Roxie pointed at the piping hot treat wrapped in cardboard with a smirk.
“Like your candy is any better. Although, a little bit of softness wouldn’t be a bad thing, I guess.” His eyes traced down her body before they came back up to her face. “Not that there’s really anything wrong with how you look.
Lincoln pulled back onto the road and the only sound was the car’s engine and the tires on the tarmac. Roxie was glad he didn’t say anything. She was too shaken up about the entire night for conversation at that moment. First, she’d left Lincoln’s house in unsettled confusion about the growing attraction between them. Or whether that attraction had always been there. That was more honest, really.
Then there was Nathan.
She didn’t want to think about him right now, though.
“How’s your hand?”
“It’s fine, Rox.” He clenched his fist and released it. “Might hurt a little tomorrow, but I’ll live.”
“Good.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say, not without starting a conversation she wasn’t ready for yet.
She thought about taking a walk on the beach and when he pulled up at his house told him she wanted a few minutes alone. He didn’t argue with her but did offer to go with her.
“No, thanks. I’ll be up in a minute.” He stood at the car and she wondered if he’d stay there until she came back.
She could hear the party was still going on inside and that was good. Maybe she could forget herself in there in a little while. For now, she stood at the edge of the surf, letting the night breeze blow her hair out from her face. At some point her hair had come down, was it when Lincoln kissed her or when Nathan slammed her against the wall?
She closed her eyes against the violence she’d endured, not wanting to remember it. It was only one more episode that showed her the nasty side of humanity and right now, she didn’t need any more evidence of how bad human beings could be to each other. She just needed peace.
Lincoln wanted to talk, she could sense it, but she doubted he’d ever had someone he once loved pull a knife on him. What she wanted to do was get mind-numbingly drunk and fuck the night away. Lincoln didn’t seem like the type that would enjoy drunken sex though, even if it was with her.
That tugged a smirk out of her at least, and she turned away from the pounding ocean surf. A storm was brewing and the party should be winding down. Time to catch what she could of it before it finished. Lincoln was still at the car when she came back up to the house, the security gate open while the party was going on.
Would he taste of apple and coffee, she wondered?
She knew she’d been mistaken when she said he was drunk earlier and the calm way he smiled at her proved that. Gone was the warrior willing to beat a man’s face in. The old Lincoln, with his easy smile, was back and reached for her hand.
“Let’s go see what we’ve missed.”
“Sure.” She replied, not sure she could handle watching sex with Lincoln without wanting to bang him against the nearest available surface that would take their weight. But she’d go in with him.
Emily and Dylan were on the couch, looking sleepy, but both brightened up when Lincoln and Roxie walked in. “We were waiting on you so we could say goodbye.
“Oh, sorry. We just had to run out for a minute.” Lincoln answered quickly, not letting on for an instant that anything had happened.
“Well, thanks for everything. We had a great time.” Emily walked up to Roxie and noticed the cut, just a deep scratch really. “What happened?”
Emily looked over at Lincoln, her claws out and ready to attack. “Nothing, I’ll explain tomorrow, okay? It wasn’t Lincoln.”
“Good. I’d hate to claw his eyes out, they’re so pretty.” Emily giggled, as if she’d had a drink too many. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I’ll be waiting.” Roxie smiled and hugged her friend.
“If you need us, Lincoln, you have my number,” Dylan said, and Roxie noted how their eyes caught and something passed between them. Lincoln nodded and bumped fists with Dylan.
“We’ll be fine, thanks though,” Lincoln answered and the couple left.
“Where should we go?” Roxie looked around, noting there weren’t that many people left.
“How about out to the back deck.” Lincoln offered and walked into the kitchen. “I see four beers left and I have a feeling Kai and the new girl of his dreams are the only ones left.”
“Oh, I think there’s some up in the attic, but they’ll let themselves out when they’re ready. Can I change first? I feel a little exposed in this outfit.” She looked down at the kimono and back at him.
“Of course, you can use my room if you want. I locked the door earlier, just to keep it clean.” His lips curved into a self-aware smile.
“I told everyone to avoid it anyway.” She said and smiled back. “I didn’t expect you to quite be ready to share every room of your home with strangers.”
“Thanks.”
She went into his room, changed into a pair of black shorts and a tank top, and found him at a table and chairs on the porch a few minutes later. “This is better.”
“I liked the kimono.” He took a swallow of the beer and looked out at the ocean.
“I do too, I just need to feel…in control.” She sat down and picked up one of the bottles of beer. It was an import, so she picked up the bottle opener to peel the metal cap off. “It’s so nice out here.”
“I knew I’d made the right decision that first night. I sat out here and fell even more in love with the place.” He leaned back in his chair, rocking back on the legs. “It’s a little slice of heaven I wouldn’t have in New York.”
“I do miss proper pizza, though.” She admitted with a broad smile.
“I’ve seen a few places that sell New York-style pizza.” He argued, but she shook her head vigorously.
“It’s not the same, even when it’s a New Yorker making it. I think it’s the atmosphere I miss.”
He had the sense not to probe too much. She’d have gone out for pizza with her friends, her parents, his sister more than likely, and that was what she really missed. It was also one of the reasons she’d left New York. She’d never have those moments with her parents again and
going anywhere near June might have exposed her to things she didn’t want to face.
She was certain her parents had been killed, that her dad got too greedy and tried to screw over the wrong mafia boss or some shit like that. Either way, her parents had done something to get themselves killed. She’d never believed the suicide angle, not really. She’d seen what those men did to her dad, and then she’d seen them outside the house the night of the fire. They were there for a reason, and it wasn’t to offer to hold a firehose.
Going anywhere near June would have put them all in danger. For a moment, she remembered the taste of lip balm and the sweet nostalgia of reading a hidden love note. A million years ago, when she still believed princes and fairytale endings existed outside of the ballet. Not so much, these days.
“What did you see that you liked tonight?” She asked, falling back into facilitator mode.
“You getting into my car as the police drove away with Nathan in theirs.” He answered but cringed when he saw her glare. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. But I did mean here.”
“I don’t know. I’m not afraid of any of it. I’m just not feeling it right now, does that make sense? I know I asked you for all of this, but maybe I should have waited.”
“I can see that,” Roxie replied. “Sometimes it takes time to find the right thing. You’ll know when you’ve found what you like best, it’ll make you absolutely buzz.”
“I like that. Buzzing would be good.” He paused, frowned, then went on. “Not that I mean I want to get high, but that’s how Kai describes it. Like being naturally high.”
“I guess it is, yeah. Sex isn’t just about your dick or my tits. It’s not even about the orgasm really. It’s about getting there.”
His eyes drilled into hers and she remembered a night when a young man did everything he could to make sure she enjoyed the getting there. Her heart pulsed hard and fast before it settled down again. He was remembering it too; she could see it in the way his nostrils flared.
“It was a long time ago, but I think I know what you mean.” He finally said after another minute passed. “I’ll have to see what other ways there are to explore this darker world of yours.”
She nodded, still not sure whether she should take this any further than it had gone already. Was this really the night she wanted to start to sleep with the man who was her boss?
Another slug of beer saved her from having to give an answer. She looked out at the moon and turned her head when she heard a car start up and leave the driveway. “That must be the other people.”
“Kai will get a taxi home,” Lincoln told her and leaned back towards her in the chair. “What was your favorite part of the night?”
“The threesome in the attic. You missed that.” She smiled over at him, brushing her fingers into her long hair to pull it out of her eyes. “Sometimes they can go wrong in my eyes. I mean, if the girl wants to be used that’s fine, but this one was three people actually trying to get each other off. Two men, one woman.”
“I didn’t think women would really like that.” His head leaned to the left and he examined her face. “Wouldn’t you feel like a piece of meat?”
“I could feel like that when I’m on stage, but I don’t. When you choose the right male partners, a threesome is…fun. Erotic. Like I said, they didn’t just force her to suck their dicks and come on her face, they worked to give her pleasure. It wasn’t about them, but her. That’s the difference.”
“I see. I guess I’ve watched too much porn.” He looked bashful, but then met her gaze. “I’ll have to learn more about all of this.”
“Take your time, Lincoln. There’s no rush.” For anything - those were the words she left unspoken. “Down here, I’m anonymous, I don’t have to worry about the past. I’m free to do what I want. You are too, you know?”
“New York City can be a small place sometimes.” He agreed, knowing exactly what she meant. It was a huge place, full of people, but it seemed everyone knew each other, or knew someone who knew who you were. It was hard to remain anonymous there sometimes.
“You can also be who you want to be down here. When I first came, I was a scared little girl who wanted to hide. I’d been a ballerina since I could put a tutu on, but I had to put that behind me. Nobody down here even knows I ever took a ballet class.” Her eyes blazed at his for a moment, but then calmed down. “You can do the same thing.”
“I don’t want to give up my business, though.” He said, confused.
“I don’t mean that, silly.” She laughed and drank from her bottle. “I meant in other ways. We’re close enough to other towns that you can even drive to other places for parties, to clubs, whatever you want to do. In NYC everyone would know where you’d been, even if you went to the private clubs. Down here, nobody gives a fuck who you are, so long as you don’t cause problems and act respectful.”
“I see.” He nodded, his fingers tapping on the table. “And you, Roxie? Do you care who I am?”
“Of course, Lincoln. But you’re my past.” She couldn’t look at him, not when she had to find a way to make this all make sense. “You’re my boss, so you’re my present too.”
“Complicated, isn’t it?”
“More than you know,” she said but didn’t elaborate. “There’s no more beer?”
“No, but I can find you something else if it’ll help you sleep. I think there’s scotch left.”
“No, it’s fine. I don’t need a hangover tomorrow. It’s Friday night and I’ll be spending tomorrow changing and washing your bedding. Then, I’ll need to find myself another bed and a couch.”
“None of that will matter until the carpets are changed and the walls fixed. I’ll send over a contractor to fix it all, get rid of the stuff that was destroyed for you.”
“Thanks.” She didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to even talk about it. But it was there, between them. What Nathan had done. What he’d done for her when Nathan came. “Did you really come just to check on me?”
“I knew I’d upset you, so yeah, I did.” He nodded, but he still wouldn’t meet her gaze. What was he hiding? She wondered. “I wasn’t finding what I wanted here, but I knew I’d pissed you off too. I didn’t want to end it like that.”
“End what?” She scrunched her brows up and watched him.
“The night. I didn’t want the night to end like that.”
“How did you want it to end?” She asked, her pulse racing all over again. He looked at her and the look in her eyes told her all she needed to know.
18
Lincoln
Lincoln let the moment pass. He knew she was upset. Her boyfriend had just destroyed her home and broke up with her while calling her a whore. Roxie wasn’t a whore, no matter what that dickhead might think.
“Why did you do it, Roxie?” He asked to break up the quiet that stretched out between them.
“Do what?” She asked and opened the bag of peach candy to munch on another piece of deliciously sour candy. Her face puckered as the sour part hit her tongue first, looking for all the world like a delighted child for a second.
“Become a dancer?” Lincoln asked softly, as if afraid to ask.
“Oh, that old chestnut.” She smiled with a laugh and looked out at the water again. “For the same reason most people do, I needed a job, had no skills other than dancing, and was too young to get a job as a corporate CEO with a pension and 401K.”
“Ah, the sarcastic princess reigns supreme.” He said to tease her, and she glanced back at him, amusement making her eyes dance.
“At your service.” She pretended to doff a hat at him then went back to her candy.
“Was Nathan always like that with you?”
“Not at first, no.” She sighed, paused to put the bag of candy back in her overnight bag, and then looked at him. “He made me believe in love again, when we first met. For a year I thought it was real after all and that I’d finally found my happy ending. I don’t know why I’m t
elling you this. Just so you know, I still hate you.”
“Thank you, your majesty.” He responded automatically to the old jibe.
“I’m not a queen, I’m a princess, remember?” A playful response, one he hadn’t quite expected. It gave him hope that she really was alright.
“So, Nathan was a good guy at first?” He moved in the chair, getting comfortable again.
“He was, yes. I was homeless for a while, in my younger days, and back then I stopped believing in love. I couldn’t stop remembering how my parents were with each other though, how they always took care of each other, all the love they showed each other. It made me hope, even as I learned about the darker side of love and romance. I wanted what they had, even if I didn’t deserve it. I thought my chance had come when Nathan came into my life.”
“You do deserve love, Roxie, even if it’s not real.” He replied after thinking it over. She looked at him in question when he said love wasn’t real so he explained as best he could. “My mother has been married almost too many times to be decent and I don’t think she’ll ever be happy. My dad was an utter prick and, well, I’m not sure love is real at all, but if it is you deserve it.”
“Thanks. I don’t know why I’m spilling my guts to you like this.” She swallowed the last sip of the beer going warm in front of her and then took a deep breath, as if she needed to calm herself. “I should be running from you too, I think.”
“Why?” Her comment surprised him. He couldn’t think of a single reason why she should be afraid to be around him.
“Because. You’re a part of my past. A past I left behind for good reason as you know.”
It was another moment where he could tell her a treasure-trove of truth, but again, he let it pass him by. It wasn’t the right time, the right moment, to tell her what he’d suspected for a decade. He wanted the final proof of it all before he spilled the beans completely.
Dancing With Lies (Barre To Bar Book 1) Page 16