Cut to the Bone

by Roz Watkins

  I was sure his door had been messed with, and it hadn’t been like that the other day. Why would he lie to me?

  ‘I try to make things better,’ Daniel said. ‘Why can’t they see that?’

  I gave him an encouraging nod and made it clear I was listening. His anxiety was making him eager to confide, and that was rarely a bad thing in my game.

  ‘Nobody gets why I would work in an abattoir,’ he said. ‘But I help animals when they really, really need it. Surely the best thing you can do is to give them a bit of kindness before they die? To make sure they’re led gently to their end, not pushed or prodded, shouted at or threatened.’ He looked me right in the eye. ‘Who does more good for animals – someone who has nothing to do with farming or the meat industry at all, or someone like me who’s actually there? Who makes sure the animals are treated with respect? Those people who go undercover and expose the horrors in normal abattoirs, they despise me, they’re even threatening to kill me, but I do good.’

  ‘I understand,’ I said. And I did. I couldn’t do it myself, but if what he said was true, I respected him for it. I wondered what had happened to him to make him like this. So determined to do the right thing even though it put him in an unbearable situation, having to watch the animals he cared for being killed every day.

  Beyond Daniel, in the far distance on the moor behind the caravan site, a flash of white caught my eye. ‘Hold on,’ I said, ‘that looked like the Pale Child. Over there on the face of the rock. Can you get onto the moor from here?’

  ‘You can, but—’

  ‘Show me!’ Two people had known a secret about the Pale Child and now they were both gone. There was no way I was letting this pass. I grabbed Daniel’s arm and pulled him in the direction of the distant white figure.

  It was so far away it was hard to see, but it looked like someone scrambling up the side of one of the gritstone edges. The place rock climbers went, but it didn’t look like a rock climber. Rock climbers didn’t wear white dresses.

  We took a path onto the moor, me stumbling along on my dodgy ankle, desperate to find out who this person was, and Daniel following reluctantly.

  The path took us towards the higher ground. Ahead were looming cliffs, and stones in bizarre piles as if arranged by an immense rock-balancing artist. Bracken and heather and tussocks of grass made it hard going, and the ground was pitted with rabbit and badger holes. A sheep bleated in the distance. I was panting with the effort of running up the hill.

  As we got closer, I could see it was definitely a child in a white dress. She was hanging down over the cliff, but while we watched, she hauled herself up and shot out of view.

  ‘We need to get to the top of that edge,’ I said. ‘Do you know the way?’

  ‘That path.’ Daniel gestured to our right. ‘But you’ll never catch her now.’

  I was determined to try. My breath rasped in my throat as I followed the path towards the higher ground, Daniel behind me.

  ‘I have a bad ankle,’ I said. ‘I know your back’s not good but feel free to go past if you can.’

  Daniel overtook and ran ahead, eventually reaching the edge where the girl had been. He scanned the landscape, and shouted, ‘No sign of her.’

  I caught up, and he was right. She was gone.

  The lone sheep was bleating louder. The sweep of Ladybower Reservoir was far below us now. In the distance jutted the peak of Mam Tor. I felt a stab of fear when I realised how close we were to the place where the ground dropped away into a cliff. I’d tried to work on my fear of heights but it hadn’t gone completely.

  ‘We’ve totally lost her,’ Daniel said.

  ‘Who was it? And what’s up with that sheep?’

  ‘Must have got separated from its lamb,’ Daniel said. ‘They’re buggers for getting themselves in trouble.’

  I caught a glimpse of movement ahead. ‘That’s not her again, is it?’

  Daniel looked where I pointed and we both ran a few steps before seeing it was the sheep.

  ‘She looks really upset,’ I said. ‘She’s too close to the cliff. What on earth’s she doing?’

  The sheep was on a higher part of the rocky edge, bleating hysterically and shifting to and fro, approaching the edge and then backing away. Daniel scrambled up to get closer to her.

  ‘Oh God,’ he said. ‘It’s her lamb.’

  I inched closer to Daniel. ‘What’s the matter with it?’

  ‘It’s fallen over, but it’s on a ledge. Quite a long way down, so it can’t get back up. And it’s quiet. It shouldn’t be quiet. I think it’s been there a while. It looks like a runt. It can’t be less than two months old at this time of year, but it’s small.’

  ‘Oh no,’ I said. ‘It’s not dead, is it?’

  A faint bleat came from below.

  ‘Good,’ Daniel said. ‘It’s roused itself. Hang on, I’ll move away. I’m freaking it out.’

  The mother sheep joined in the bleating, seeming half scared of us, half outraged that we hadn’t yet done anything constructive. Daniel and I moved away from the edge to perch on a flat rock and the sheep quietened. The village of Gritton was far below us, its areas of woodland like green velvet in contrast to the dry yellow grassland. It looked idyllic from above, the clashing protesters, hordes of journalists, and grieving families a world away.

  ‘I’ll call someone,’ I said. ‘I don’t have time to faff around trying to save a lamb.’

  ‘It’s very weak,’ Daniel said. ‘I’m going to climb down and get it. If we wait for help to arrive, it’ll die.’

  I wanted to scream at the ridiculousness of this. The Pale Child was getting away, I had one missing presumed dead and one definitely dead, the Animal Vigilantes and Justice for Violet were marauding below us. Was I really going to waste valuable time and terrify myself senseless helping Daniel rescue a runt lamb?

  31

  ‘How far down was the lamb?’ I said.

  ‘I think I can get to it,’ Daniel said. ‘If you stay at the top, I can pass it to you.’ There was none of the spaced-out quality about him now. And all concern for his own welfare seemed to have dropped away at the sight of a lamb in danger.

  I pictured the headline. Animal Activist Detective Bounces on Head and Dies Trying to Rescue Lamb. ‘Okay,’ I said.

  ‘It’ll be fine. We’ll keep everything really quiet. Keep the mother relaxed.’ Daniel smiled and I couldn’t help smiling back, despite my panic about being near to the edge.

  ‘I’m not too good with heights,’ I said. ‘But I’ll be okay.’

  The lamb let out a weak, heart-rending cry.

  We shifted towards the edge, keeping low. The sheep stayed calm and even began to approach us. ‘These moorland sheep get fed in the winter,’ Daniel said. ‘So they’re not terrified of people.’

  My heard thudded. We were near to the edge.

  I shifted onto my stomach and peered over. The lamb was about six feet below us, on a narrow ledge. Below, the cliff fell steeply down to rocks underneath. If the lamb slipped off, it would be a goner. The same applied to us, of course.

  ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ I said. ‘That ledge is so narrow and it looks crumbly.’

  Daniel laughed. ‘I’d rather be taken out by a lamb than by the Animal Vigilantes.’ He turned round and shuffled backwards. ‘I just hope it doesn’t suicide off the edge when it sees me coming.’

  The sheep let out a throaty bleat, but the lamb had calmed down. It eyed Daniel sceptically as he inched his way slowly towards it. Finally his feet touched the ledge. The lamb stood frozen. The ledge was so narrow, I couldn’t see how Daniel was going to reach down without risking falling. I could grab one of his hands, but he’d need both to pick up the lamb.

  ‘Hang on, I’m coming forward.’ Heart pounding, I shuffled right to the edge, stretched out, and grabbed his collar. ‘Right. I’ve got you.’

  Daniel squatted slowly, talking softly to the lamb. I allowed myself to go a little lower, so I could keep h
old of him. He reached around the lamb, lifted it smoothly into his arms, and then stood tall again. It struggled briefly and then gave up. ‘Got it. You can let go of me and move back a bit, then take the lamb from me.’

  I let go of his collar, shifted back and stabilised myself, reached and took the warm, squirming thing from Daniel’s outstretched arms. It was surprisingly heavy, and softer than I’d expected. As I took it, I caught sight of a white object snagged on a root that protruded from the cliff below the ledge Daniel was on. I twisted around to let the lamb go, and looked back down. ‘What’s that, Daniel?’

  The sheep let out a bellow. The lamb’s four legs straightened and it stood blinking and looking baffled. Finally it let out a bleat and charged to its mother without so much as a thank you.

  Daniel reached below him, towards the thing I’d seen. ‘I can’t get it,’ he said.

  I shuffled nearer to the edge and peered down. It was a doll’s face mask. ‘It’s what the girl was wearing,’ I said. ‘The Pale Child.’

  ‘Just a kid’s toy,’ Daniel said. ‘Could be anyone’s.’

  ‘Can you reach it? It might be important.’

  ‘Er … not without risking falling off the cliff.’

  ‘Don’t do that.’

  He sighed and moved into a squatting position and then onto his stomach on the ledge.

  ‘No, it’s okay … Daniel, don’t kill yourself.’

  He reached down and managed to grab the mask. Then stood and passed it to me, before scrambling up from the ledge and brushing himself down.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘I didn’t mean you to put yourself in danger.’

  The mask was thin plastic with a stretchy cord to go round the back of the head, like the one the girl in Hannah’s video had been wearing. Presumably the girl we’d followed up here had been wearing it. Was she the Pale Child that Violet and Gary had seen?

  The lamb was suckling from its poor mother in a way which looked borderline abusive. They were closer to the cliff edge than I’d have liked. ‘It had better not go over again,’ I said. ‘Or it’s staying there.’

  Daniel laughed.

  ‘Is that the first time you’ve dragged a lamb off a cliff edge?’ I asked. ‘You seemed quite the expert.’

  ‘I must be a natural. Perhaps I’ve finally found my vocation. How about you?’

  ‘Part of a normal day in Peak District policing.’

  We headed back across the moor. A surprising wave of well-being washed over me. It had been good to forget about everything for a few minutes and focus on saving the lamb. And I realised with a jolt of discomfort that I’d enjoyed spending time with Daniel. I remembered the research that showed you were more likely to be attracted to someone if you met them on a high bridge. Your brain mistook adrenaline from fear for adrenaline from attraction. It was probably just that.

  I forced my mind to clunk back into standard operating mode.

  ‘Daniel,’ I said. ‘You need to tell me what you know about the Pale Child. What’s going on? You saw her in the woods on Monday night, didn’t you? When you met Gary, Anna and Kirsty?’ I held the mask up. ‘Was she wearing this?’

  Daniel sighed. ‘Welcome back, Detective.’

  ‘I have to do my job.’

  ‘Well, I didn’t see her, I’m afraid.’

  ‘But you saw the girl on the cliff just now. And this mask is real. You grew up in this village. What’s it all about?’

  Daniel strode faster, kicking his way through a clump of bracken. He didn’t answer my question.

  I hurried to keep pace. ‘What is it?’ I touched his arm. ‘What do you know about the Pale Child?’ I thought of the secret that Gary had supposedly told Violet. Did Daniel know what that was?

  His shoulders dropped and he slowed and turned towards me. ‘We saw her in the woods the night of my car accident all those years ago. But it wasn’t the Pale Child who was responsible. It wasn’t the Pale Child who got in a car when drunk and ended up killing someone. It was me.’

  I didn’t say anything, but slowed my pace, hoping he’d slow with me and continue talking.

  ‘I live with a lot of guilt,’ he said. ‘I try to do good things. Try to put things right.’

  I couldn’t argue with that. He’d risked his life to save a lamb. ‘I can see that. Guilt from your accident, you mean?’

  He nodded miserably. ‘I was nineteen. I’m a different person now.’ He snatched at a clump of tall grass as we walked past. ‘I couldn’t feel worse about that night. Someone died because of my stupidity. I’ve spent the rest of my life regretting that, but there’s nothing I can do to change it.’ He rubbed his lower back. ‘And every time this twinges, I remember.’

  Instinctively, my gaze dropped to my ankle. And as always, I remembered. The day I was partly responsible for my sister’s death was the day I broke my ankle. So I understood exactly what Daniel meant.

  ‘You saw the Pale Child?’ I said. ‘The night of your accident?’

  ‘Yes. But I don’t know who she is. Er … I need to tell you something. I should have done it on Monday, but I hadn’t realised it was important. Should I come into the police station tomorrow?’

  That was a definite and clearly deliberate change of subject away from the Pale Child, but I wanted to hear what he had to say. And I certainly wasn’t going to wait until tomorrow. I felt like saying, Are you mad? Have you never watched Midsomer Murders? If you tell me you have important information and don’t spit it out THIS MINUTE, you’re a dead man!

  ‘Give me the gist of it now,’ I said. ‘And we’ll take a full statement tomorrow.’

  A gust of wind tickled the bracken, and brought a waft of smoke with it. The fire blazed on the distant moor. It was creeping closer to Gritton.

  ‘I was the one who told the Animal Vigilantes that Violet was missing,’ Daniel said. ‘On Monday morning. I’m sorry. I was worried about Violet and I panicked and contacted Leona in case they’d taken her.’

  ‘You realised she was missing first thing?’ I’d had a feeling he was lying about that.

  ‘I saw Violet’s car. And she wasn’t there, but I saw her watch. I’m sorry. I rushed home and contacted Leona. I thought they’d done something to her. Leona wouldn’t tell me whether they had or not. But she said I mustn’t let you know I’d been in touch with her or you’d think I was in league with the Animal Vigilantes and that I’d hurt Violet. I didn’t think it was a big deal. Anna had raised the alarm by then anyway, and I knew you’d find the watch. But now I can see Leona wanted you to think it was them. To think that it must have been them because they knew about it so early. She wanted the publicity. But they only knew about it because I told them, not because they did it.’

  I sighed. ‘Yes, that was quite unhelpful, Daniel.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘How did you have Leona’s contact details?’

  ‘I’d been in touch with her before. When we were getting threats. I wanted to tell her that we weren’t the bad guys. That the Animal Vigilantes shouldn’t be targeting us.’

  ‘Right. We will need a statement from you, but thanks for telling me.’

  This was useful. It reinforced my view that the Animal Vigilantes hadn’t hurt Violet or Gary. Whatever was going on had nothing to do with meat. It was connected to some secret about the Pale Child.

  ‘I realised I should tell you,’ Daniel said. ‘You’re a good person and you’re on the side of the animals. You won’t immediately suspect me just because I was talking to the Animal Vigilantes. I told you because I know I can trust you.’

  We arrived back at Daniel’s caravan, and the orange-haired woman strode into view. Dotty, I assumed. She gave me a suspicious look. ‘Police have been and gone. No effort spared. Oh wait, I meant no effort expended.’

  ‘Good. Okay,’ Daniel said, not picking up on the dig about my esteemed colleagues.

  ‘We’re getting you protection,’ I said. ‘In the meantime, don’t be alone, okay?’

  ‘He
’s staying with me,’ Dotty said. ‘So do I get a cuppa or what?’

  Daniel looked at his caravan. ‘Well, I suppose …’

  ‘Come on, Dan, don’t be tight.’ Dotty waved her arm at the caravan. ‘Invite us in.’

  ‘No, I … Sit out here. There are deckchairs.’

  ‘Hoity-toity, doesn’t want us inside.’ Dotty settled herself on a deckchair that looked to be nearing the end of its natural life.

  Daniel sighed and looked at me. ‘Would you like a drink?’

  Daniel’s desperation for us not to go inside his caravan had made me equally determined to see inside. I remembered that he hadn’t wanted me to investigate earlier, when I’d noticed the damaged door. ‘Yes please,’ I said.

  Daniel slid inside, and I sat on a second moribund deckchair next to Dotty, the plastic mask on my knee. Dotty tutted at the red paint on the caravan. ‘Fuckers.’

  I nodded.

  ‘There’s no way our Daniel’s a bad person,’ she said. ‘Heart of gold, he has. He tries to do his best for the animals. If any of those bastards come back, I’m letting my other dog out, that’ll sort them out. He’s a pit bull.’ She broke off and looked at me. ‘Not a real pit bull – he just looks like one.’

  The door of the caravan popped open and Daniel appeared with two mugs of tea.

  ‘Grand.’ Dotty reached to take one. ‘It’s not that weird milk, is it? What were you doing haring off over the hills anyway?’

  ‘It’s oat milk, Dotty. Remember? You liked that.’ Daniel perched on a rock from one of his ruined art installations.

  ‘Don’t you drink milk?’ I said.

  ‘No, I don’t have meat or dairy.’

  He was vegan. Seriously? A vegan whose job was slaughtering pigs in an abattoir? He was one of the most baffling people I’d ever met. I suspected his behaviour was driven by an even more toxic and powerful dose of guilt than the one I lived with. And I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, but I liked him.

  I took a sip of my tea. ‘I thought I saw the Pale Child,’ I said, wondering what Dotty’s reaction would be.