I let out a big breath. I kind of figured that. “A part of me is craving their anger, their want for revenge. Why?”
“Because anger is easier. Getting angry and wanting revenge is easier than the pain, than the reality of what happened. It hurts less. Anger can be good, if you direct it into energy to solve the problem. Direct that energy into something good, something strong, and you will be stronger than you are now. I think in a way you already do this. You have protected your sister and your mom, from what I’ve heard. You like to help people. So turn this into energy to help others. Do good things with it. Don’t drown in what was done to you. Take it, and use it, before it consumes you.”
“That’s a lot like what Ryan’s Dad said to me. Fight and use it to help others.”
“You should listen to him. If you see him more than anyone, then he was sent to guide you for a reason. Everything is always for a reason.”
“That seems to be the theme of my life lately.”
“Then hold onto that. Let the reason pull you through it. Don’t drown in the pain of it all. Grab onto your reason, and let it be your floating device to keep you from going under.”
I just sit and watch the scenery pass by as we once again drive from the hospital to home. It’s nearly a half an hour ride, depending on how fast you drive. The mall and the main police station are all near each other. I’m a little sick of making this drive.
We get home and I just cuddle on the couch for now. I want a shower, but I have to be careful about doing stairs. Both moms are here, Eva, Ryan, Greg, Kevin. Mrs. White is explaining to them about what I can do, what I shouldn’t do, which would be let myself die to escape, and how they can help me. Grant is looking for Danny.
I won’t let anyone touch me yet. I just can’t. For now they are talking, and I’m trying to stay numb.
They talk on and on in circles for probably an hour. By now it’s dinner time, or later. Ryan was released, since the crime committed against me was by the guy who pressed charges. No charges are against Ryan, but he is still going to be a Marine. Funny how that worked out. In the end it wasn’t the Marines that saved him from jail, it was the bastard committing a bigger offence for his complaint to be thrown out. Still, the Marines are here, protecting us, offering us a future, and we’re going to take it. I don’t ever forget someone who helps me, and I really believe we were brought to the Marines for a reason.
Kevin’s radio goes off, and he makes a call. He looks at Greg, and then at Ryan. “Grant found him.”
“Ooh-fucking-Rah. Let’s get the bastard.” Greg says. Ryan isn’t even speaking, he just stands up ready to go.
Greg turns to me. “In the Marines, we often take care of things on our own before the law comes into it. If the law comes into it. Since I know you want him to go to jail, and he really needs to, I will ask you one question. Do you want revenge first?”
I look at Kevin, and right now, he’s all Marine. He isn’t wearing his state trooper uniform. They are all in plain clothes, unidentifiable as anything more than men.
“Can we, without you getting in trouble?”
“Bet your ass. There is always a limit, but we’ll push that limit as far as can be. He’s been on the run all day. No telling what the brutal elements have done to him,” Greg says. I take that as a hint.
“Yes. I want to look in his eyes, and know he will suffer for the rest of his life. God forgive me, I deserve a little revenge for what that bastard took from me.”
Luckily the moms are in the kitchen making dinner and missed this conversation. Eva is there, but she nods at me and walks to the kitchen. I know she agrees with me.
The guys leave, Ryan last, looking at me and telling me he loves me before he leaves. I hope someday I can let him touch me, be near me. For now, I just need space.
The moms and Eva come in with soup and grilled cheese. “Oh, that is so perfect. I love you guys. Gooey cheesy and soup is perfect. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome honey. Do you need anything?” My mom asks.
“I need you to get angry and in the revenge mood, because your guilt is killing me right now. The guys just left because Grant found him. They are going to let me have a little revenge before Danny goes to jail. This is how the Marines take care of business, and Ryan and I are a part of that now. I would like another layer of clothes, a jacket, and my shoes.”
I can feel their nerves, and it’s making it harder on me. I try to tune them out and eat quickly so I can do what needs to be done when they get back.
They get what I asked for, and after about twenty minutes, from the time the guys left, the door opens and Kevin is back.
“Ladies. Emma and I have some business to attend to. Eva, I want you to get on the phone with a gossip mill and tell them Ryan is home and sleeping after a rough day in jail, Emma is knocked out from the meds the hospital gave her, and you are having a quiet night playing board games or whatever you ladies do. You are all here, in this house. You really hope Danny is found, and you are glad Grant is staying one more night so you can kick his ass at Mortal Kombat again to get your mind off of what happened to your sister while she sleeps it off. Everyone have the story?”
Everyone agrees and I stand up once my shoes are on, ready to go. I am a little wobbly, but I’ve got this. Being a country girl, having had an abusive father, and being into sports, I’m used to bumps and bruises. Though some pains are new for me, I can handle this. I may just take those pain pills from the hospital when I get back though. Kevin picks me up, reminding me of my head injury, and carries me out.
“Put me down before he can see us, Kevin. I want to walk up to him on my own. I want him to see he can’t keep me down.”
“I will. We’re just going to the horse pasture, not far.”
“The horse pasture? Why?”
“You’ll see.”
He carries me maybe a hundred feet then sets me down. I see the Jeep, and lights are on the fence. Holy shit. Danny is tied, naked, to the post of the electric fence. I wonder if? Yep, it’s on. When he moves the wrong way, or the right way if you look at it my way, he gets electrocuted. I love the Marines right now.
“You can’t do this to me! I have rights! I’ll have you all arrested!” Danny is squealing like a pig headed for a slaughter. I turn to look at Grant.
I see pain in his eyes when he looks at me, but I also see a resolute decision that justice comes first. He’s okay with us doing this to his cousin. After all, he’s holding the rope, and Greg is teaching him how to knot it, Ryan has a very large knife to Danny’s throat.
“Wow that is one hell of a knife. Don’t cut yourself honey.” I say.
“Like it? It’s called a Kabar knife. It is Marine issued. I like how it feels, I think it’s a good fit.” Ryan says, and boy does he sound pissed off now. I’m glad he got over being sad.
“You have your choice of punishment, being the offended. I will say that we have to be careful of some marks to his body, but for the most part we can work with whatever you have planned.” Kevin says to me.
“Good. Let’s leave. Let’s go home. Make those knots good and tight, boys. We’ll let the animals do what they want with him. How high is the setting on that fence?” I ask. I look for a stick and touch just to the side of him to test it. I smile when it zaps and he jumps.
“Looks to be at a medium setting to me. If you get tired, just rest against it.” I tell Danny, then I take that big thick stick and I batter up as if I’m playing baseball. I hit him really hard in his middle region. “With any luck he’ll have a splinter in his fucking dick now. Let’s go home, boys.”
They check the knots, and Ryan comes to grab my hand. I let him, because Danny needs to see that he hasn’t hurt us. We all walk away, me and the guys, with Danny yelling for help behind us. The only people who might hear him are all my family. Another benefit of country living.
We get home and Eva is on the phone. The moms have cookies and hot chocolate waiting for us. I really appreciate that.<
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No one asks any questions, they just sit down and drink hot chocolate. Other than Eva, who is still on the phone getting the gossip mill going that Ryan and I are home safe, resting, she is kicking Grant’s ass at Mortal Kombat, and no one has seen Danny since he took off earlier.
“Are you ready for the pain pills now, Emma? If you take them soon you may be able to get some sleep tonight.” My mom says.
“No. I want to try to get through this on my own if I can. The guys and I still have unfinished business, and Ryan and I need to talk. I’m okay. Thanks, mom.”
“You don’t have to thank me, I’m your mother. I wish I could have saved you from any of the pain you’ve been through.”
“Everything happens for a reason, Mom. I’m really getting that old saying now. I’m seeing so many reasons, connected to form one big connected reason. I’m meant to take all of this, use this pain and suffering, to help other people. How I’m going to do that, I’m not sure yet, but I will.”
“Well, as a nurse you could help a lot of people.” My mom says.
“If you join the military you can help a lot of people too.” Greg says.
I look at him and nod my head. I have a lot of decisions to make. Luckily I have a little time.
“Ryan is going to help me get upstairs so we can talk. If I need anything I’ll call you, or he will. Kevin, Greg, thank you. Kevin, I know what you did tonight was against the law. You chose family, friends, and the Marines over your badge. I won’t ever forget that. Let Grant untie him. He can handle him. Greg, get out of here. Drive fast and get somewhere. Use a credit card to pay for something as soon as you can, have a receipt that you weren’t here. Kevin, go home. Ma here will call 911 and you will answer, from home, and call for back-up. Most likely the locals will take the call and come get him. Wait another fifteen or twenty minutes so he’s nice and cold, and Greg and Kevin are out of here, before you untie him, Grant. I love you all, so much, and I know I’ll never be able to think you or repay you for what you’ve done for me.” I stand up and Ryan comes with me to the stairs.
“Can I carry you upstairs?” He asks.
“I don’t know, can you? I really don’t want to fall, we’re hurt enough. How about we just walk carefully and I’ll stay upstairs all day tomorrow? You’ll have to bring me food of course, but I will stay upstairs and heal.”
“Hold onto me, and take the stairs really slow. The medicine they’re giving you for the brain bleed should help, but you still have to be careful.”
We get upstairs and I am comforted by seeing the waterbed I’ve come to love so much. I need a shower again though, badly. Ryan hesitates and I know he’s nervous, not sure what I can handle right now.
“You will be my husband someday. I can’t promise I’ll be okay with sex anytime soon, but I won’t let him make me afraid of you. I know you are my reason right now. If not for loving you, and for wanting to help other people, I would have let go and died earlier. I was ready to let go, when your dad came to me. I knew that I wasn’t going to leave you because of some jealous asshole. We have found each other, this, for a reason. I won’t let him take away my reason.”
Ryan holds me tightly, so much passing between us without words.
“I don’t know how to make this better. We can’t undo what’s been done, but I will do everything I can to make sure you are never hurt again. I won’t lose my temper like that again, knowing that it could have cost you your life. Are you really okay with me being in the Marines?”
“Let’s start with a shower, then I want to cuddle in bed and talk.”
“Bath or shower?” Ryan asks.
“Honestly? I’m sore and I don’t know how long I can stand, but I need my hair washed. So I think it will have to be a fast shower.”
“Or you take a bath, I jump in the shower and I’ll help you wash your hair in the bathtub?” Ryan says.
“Won’t it be hard on you?”
“No, babe. Sex is the last thing on my mind after today. I just want to be close to you, get a shower, and know you’re safe.”
I nod and he kisses my forehead.
True to his word he lets me take a bath and he takes a shower, nothing sexual at all. He helps me wash my hair since my head still hurts, then I get comfortable in bed.
We stay up almost all night, just talking about our plans, how life is going to change, how we feel about everything.
I could have clammed up and hidden inside myself. I could have broken up with him out of fear of him not wanting me anymore because another man took what was only mine to give. But I refuse to be the victim. I will fight, I will make sure he pays, and that I use my energy and gifts to help other people in the future.
I know Ryan loves me for me, what we have is bigger and stronger than virginity, than sex. When you find that person who loves you for you, who is happy to be your best friend, but is so much more, that is a love worth fighting for.
~Chapter 6~
Graduation has finally come. Ryan and I are still going strong. He’ll be heading off to the Marines for boot camp soon. We’re both eighteen now, and we’re getting married Fourth of July weekend before he leaves for boot camp. It’s going to be a big local event. A simple country wedding outside, but a lot of local people are coming.
The school made a big deal about it when we announced Ryan was going into the Marines. Just like my promise ring, my engagement ring he gave me was a huge deal. I told him I didn’t need a second ring, but my eighteenth birthday was a big deal to him, so he proposed officially and made a huge deal out of it. We may as well have had a parade for the amount of attention we got.
We decided we could wait to have sex until our wedding. We’re together every day and share a bed most nights, but we wanted our wedding to be special. He’s leaving shortly after our wedding to go to the Marines. We’ll be separated for boot camp for a long time, so we thought waiting to have sex until our wedding night would be a big deal. I can’t get back what was taken from me, but we can still make our wedding night special.
I’m reading books on sex, and some romance novels so I can surprise him. No matter what, it will be special because I’ll finally be his wife, and he’ll be my Marine soon.
Greg and Kevin have been training Ryan and Grant. They say that they will not only pass boot camp, they’ll fly through it and may just be hand-picked for officer school, drill instructor or special ops.
They have gone from big to bigger. They have so much cut detail, have lost some weight fat wise but gained muscle and are now really fast. They run every day and work out every day. They have been teaching me hand to hand and self-defense like Grant had wanted to. I can now take a grown man down without breaking a sweat.
I decided to still go to nursing school. Ryan and I both have a nicely padded bank account from when our fathers died. Life insurance and death benefits really helped to make sure there wasn’t much that we needed. I can afford to stay home for a while and go to nursing school. It is really want I want to do. We both want kids, and both of us being in the military would have made that hard.
I am starting at the local community college and then transferring to whatever local college is closest to where Ryan is stationed.
For thirteen weeks we can only send mail to each other. There is a parents and family weekend where we celebrate their graduation, for those that graduate. Those thirteen weeks will be hard. We’ve slept next to each other nearly every night for months. We’re together all of the time, and we’re about to get married. I need to get used to him being gone though, because Marine’s can deploy for 12-15 months at a time. He’s worth it.
Greg and Kevin have talked to us about how hard it can be to be a military family. A lot of couples don’t make it, being separated so much, and the stress of it all. I know that we’ll not only make it, we’ll be stronger for it. I’m proud of my hero.
Graduation day turns out to be a nice day. We’re all in our Maroon cap and gowns, and I’m daydreaming through it all. I j
ust want to graduate and start my new life. My mom is back from Virginia for graduation and the wedding. She is so proud of us, all of us. I’m proud of her too. She is doing really well for herself in Virginia and is really happy.
Eva is going to the college she wanted. She’s going to major in English so she can be an English teacher.
I decided to stay here with Ryan’s mom for now. Until we know where he will be stationed and everything, there is no point in moving. When he gets a permanent base, I’ll move our stuff to our new home. I’m not moving twice within a few months of each other.
My mom is a little sad about that, but most likely our base will be in either Virginia or North Carolina, so she’ll have a lot more time with us soon.
After we get married we’re going on a honeymoon for a week to Disney World with all of our family, including Grant, Eva and both moms. Ryan and I have our own room. The Marines, and Greg, were able to get us a military discount package, so everything was about half price.
“Bellamy, Emma.” Oops, my turn for my diploma. I get up and walk to the Principal to get my diploma. “Hold on just a moment, Emma.” He says.
“In this small town, there aren’t many secrets. Many of us know what Emma and Eva have been through. We also know we have some heroes at this school. I’m going to break tradition, and have all four of you come up here together. I am so proud of Emma and Eva Bellamy, our beautiful twins that never allow a dull moment. Their friends and our town heroes, Ryan Pierce and Grant Powers. These two men are going into the Marines. They stepped in to offer to protect these young ladies from an abusive father, they worked with the State Police to capture another awful person who shall not be named, and the Marines are proud to have them. We are proud, this small town, of your strength of character, of your bravery, and your selfless dedication to continue to help others. Self-defense will now be offered as part of our gym classes, and a help line is being created. This help line will be run as a joint operation between the local churches and the school. Anyone being bullied, harmed, living in fear, or needing help of any kind can call for help, whether a child in school or an adult in need. You have shown us that to beat evil, we must stand together as a team and always fight back. Bullying of any kind won’t be tolerated. No one in need will suffer in silence. We are so proud of all of you, and we wish you well in your future. Our future Marines will always be celebrated here, our local heroes. Go, make us proud, and return home safe.”
A Reason (A Reason, Season, Lifetime Series) Page 16