Discovering Dani

by N. J. Walters

  “Food. Great, I’m starving,” Shamus announced as Dani placed the tray on the coffee table.

  Everyone grabbed a drink and settled back to work. Nobody felt the need to talk, but the room was filled with the soft strains of Christmas music. The smell of cinnamon and popcorn permeated the air, and the quiet was punctuated by the occasional sound of crunching chips.

  The men started the dreaded task of putting on the Christmas tree lights as Dani finished stringing the last of the popcorn. “You missed a spot over there,” she directed from the sofa.

  “But Dani, you said it was fine there five minutes ago.” Patrick sighed impatiently, even as he maneuvered a strand of lights to the spot she had pointed out.

  “Well now it needs more lights. Don’t you think so, Burke?”

  “If you think it needs more lights, then I guess it needs more lights,” Burke answered diplomatically.

  “Smart move, Burke, real slick,” Patrick observed. “Now hand me that last set.”

  Dani just smiled as she watched them work. It seemed so right for Burke to be here with them, working to decorate the Christmas tree that they had all picked out together. She felt happy inside and somehow knew that Burke was a large part of that happiness. Dani worried about that fact. Burke was still very much a stranger to her. But right now, with all of them here together in the glow of the tree lights, it was hard to be concerned.

  When the lights were finished, she began to drape the strings of popcorn on the tree.

  “You need more over there,” Patrick pointed out from his seat in the rocking chair in the corner.

  “I think you just want to get back at me for the lights. It’s not my fault that I’m a popcorn-stringing expert.” Dani smiled at Patrick as she teased him, but she adjusted the string of popcorn over the branches he had pointed out.

  Shamus sized up all sides of the tree. “That’s perfect. Now for the ornaments; Dani and our mom made most of them, you know,” Shamus stated with obvious pride.

  “They’re beautiful.” Burke examined some of the ornaments laid out on the coffee table. He seemed enthralled by the miniature angels made of lace, happy Santa faces made of bright colored felt, candy canes made of beads, and the multitude of other brightly crafted ornaments. They looked even more delicate as he cradled them in his large hands.

  “Well, I try to add one or two new ones every year,” Dani added, flushing with a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure at Burke’s reaction and his care with her Christmas treasures.

  Half an hour later, they hung the last of the ornaments on the tree. The time had passed quickly and was filled with good-natured directions and advice, most of which was ignored. Dani, Patrick, and Shamus each had favorite ornaments that they placed on the tree, but they encouraged Burke to choose some for himself.

  “Now it’s time for the tree topper.” Patrick passed a delicate porcelain blonde angel to Dani.

  “I think Burke should have the honor this year.” She handed him the angel as she spoke.

  He stared at the fragile lace angel lying in his large hands. “I really shouldn’t. It’s your job.”

  He protested lightly, but Dani could tell that a part of him wanted to do it. “We want you to.” Dani encouraged him further by gently tugging him to the stepladder.

  As they stood and watched, Burke stepped up onto the ladder and placed the angle at the top of the tree.

  …

  The men packed away the empty boxes in the storage closet under the stairs while Dani gave the floor a quick vacuum. Then they all retired to the living room to view their masterpiece and debate who had done the best job of them all. Burke’s leg was tired, but overall he felt good. He felt even better an hour later when Patrick and Shamus, who both had to work in the morning, went up to bed.

  Sighing with contentment, Burke sat on a worn sofa with his feet propped up on a scarred pine coffee table and a glass of eggnog in his hand, feeling more relaxed than he had in months. Dani looked so pretty in the glow from the colored lights. He wasn’t sure if she was real or just a figment of his imagination. Actually, he wasn’t sure if any of this was real. They all seemed to care so much for one another. It was obvious in the way they acted, but it didn’t seem to be an act, it seemed real.

  Dani sat by his side on the sofa. Only the lights of the tree lit the room and the stereo played carols softly in the background. Despite the angel peering down at them from above, Burke decided that the real angel was sitting on the sofa next to him.

  “I’m really glad you came, Burke.” She snuggled closer to him, and he tightened his arm around her shoulders. Even knowing Patrick and Shamus were just upstairs, it was all too easy to imagine that they were alone.

  “I’m glad, too.” Burke inhaled deeply and found himself aroused by the smell of her. She smelled of vanilla and pine, and an elusive scent that was distinctly Dani. He had to have her soon or at least a taste of her. With that thought in mind, he laid his mug on the table beside him.

  Cupping her chin in his hand, he gently tilted her face toward his and leaned down to brush his lips across her forehead. Dani leaned into the gentle caress. Her eyes closed as his lips skimmed them ever so softly. Her lips parted on a sigh.

  “Please,” she whispered, “please kiss me, Burke.”

  “Yes,” he murmured as he lowered his mouth until it touched hers.

  Back and forth, he moved his lips across hers. His tongue reached out to taste her sweetness, and Dani welcomed him.

  Burke couldn’t help himself. The invitation was too much. His tongue thrust into her mouth, tasting and teasing her. Then he felt her tongue slide tentatively against his, lightly touching and stroking. His control broke.

  Turning his body, he eased her back onto the sofa. His arms came around her, and his mouth was hard on hers as his tongue thrust in and out of her mouth in an intoxicating rhythm. He cradled her body close to his, loving the feel of her softness against his hardness.

  Unable to stop himself, his large hand stroked up her side and covered her breast through her sweater. She fit perfectly into his hand, and he reveled in the feeling as she arched her back, trying to get closer to him.

  “You feel so good, so damned good,” he muttered as he abandoned her mouth and ran his lips down the side of her neck. She gave herself so readily to him, holding back nothing. Burke knew she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

  His hand left her breast, and Dani cried out with the loss. He hushed her as his hand moved under her sweater, pushed aside her bra, and cupped her bare breast. She shuddered at his touch.

  Burke groaned, feeling the slight quivering of her body as moved his lips back up to devour hers. His hand covered her breast, cupping it and weighing its fullness. Never had he felt skin as soft as hers. He knew he had to see her. Had to taste her.

  Pushing her sweater aside, he leaned down and laved her nipple with his tongue. Dani moaned aloud, and he reveled in the sound, rewarding her by taking her nipple into his mouth and suckling gently on her breast.

  Never had he tasted anything as good as the woman lying beneath him. It was as if she had been fashioned specifically for him and him alone. When she cried out and arched her hips against him, he thought he might explode. All he wanted was to have her naked skin next to his. He needed to be inside her, watching her shudder and come apart for him.

  A thump from upstairs brought with it a cold dose of reality. Even though it almost killed him, he drew his lips from her breast, adjusted her bra, and pulled her sweater back down to cover her upper body. She didn’t seem to understand why he was drawing away and tried to pull him back to her.

  “No Dani, we have to stop.” He knew he sounded harsh, but damn it he was hurting. She had to know he was hurting.

  “What’s wrong?” she questioned in a small, bewildered voice.

  Burke felt her stiffen in his arms and start to pull away. He didn’t like the feeling, so he stopped her by simply wrapping his arms around her. “This isn’t the
time or place for this, Dani. Your brothers are just upstairs.”

  “I can’t believe I forgot them.” She gave a nervous laugh as she sat up. This time when she gently pulled away, he let her go.

  “You’re right. That got out of hand.” She watched him as if gauging his reaction. “It should never have gone that far.”

  Burke gave her a little hug and released her. “I can wait for a better time.”

  Burke couldn’t wait to get Dani alone so he could finally have her. It never occurred to him that she would deny him. After all, he had never been denied in his whole adult life. He knew he would have her, so for now he was content to plan her seduction.

  …

  Dani watched the lights of Burke’s truck disappear into the night. She hugged herself in the darkness, still unsettled by what had happened. Her body still ached, wanting something it had never had before. She’d never been with a man, and when he’d pulled away from her so suddenly, she’d been afraid that she’d disappointed him with her inexperience.

  Part of her wanted him to continue, but she was glad that he stopped. All the feeling and emotions that had flooded her system had left her shaken. She knew she was drawn to Burke, but she wanted time to get to know him better. In her heart, she knew she couldn’t give herself to him until she was sure of her feelings for him and his for her. She was in no hurry. There was plenty of time to explore this relationship.

  Unplugging the tree lights, she left the dark living room behind and climbed the stairs. Going through her nightly ritual, she readied herself for bed. She was still reliving the wonder of their kisses when she finally drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Five

  “Merry Christmas! And what a wonderful day it is. The sun is shining and there’s a fresh layer of snow on the ground. Not so great for mom and dad, but great for all those new sleds you kids got for Christmas.”

  Burke ignored the perky female voice, flicked off the radio alarm, and looked at the clock. It was only 7:00 A.M., but he had been invited to Christmas breakfast at the O’Rourke home and had been promised blueberry pancakes. He felt a strange anticipation as he climbed out of bed and headed for the shower. Today was the day.

  The floor was cold beneath his feet, but he didn’t stop to turn up the heat. He would be gone all day and hopefully all night. The bathroom was as barren as the rest of the cabin. A toothbrush and toothpaste were tucked away inside the medicine chest along with his razor and aftershave. The only signs of habitation were the bar of soap on the side of the shower stall and the towel and facecloth hanging on the towel rack.

  As he adjusted the water temperature and stepped under the spray, his body started to tense as he thought about the coming night. He knew that Patrick and Shamus would spend Christmas Day at home, but this evening they were going to make the rounds to their friends’ homes. He and Dani would be alone then.

  His body became slightly aroused in anticipation. But then, it seemed that he had been in a constant state of partial arousal ever since he had met Dani. The more he thought about that fact, the more he didn’t like it. He had never allowed a woman to have this much control over him. She was always in his thoughts, especially since the night they had put up the Christmas tree.

  He had picked out her Christmas present with care. He knew that Dani thought he didn’t have much money, and he hadn’t corrected her assumption. He couldn’t just buy her expensive jewelry like he usually did for whatever woman he happened to be seeing when the holidays rolled around. Christmas wasn’t a big deal to him, but he had learned that women seemed to think a lot of it. The earrings he had picked out were simple thick gold hoops. Not much money by his standards, but he thought they would suit Dani, classy without being showy. He figured Christmas Day and her present would put her in a good mood. Women always appreciated jewelry.

  He believed that if he finally had her in his bed for a whole night, he would be able to work her out of his system. Yes, once he’d learned all her secrets he could put her to the back of his mind and start concentrating on more important things. Like what in the hell he was going to do with the rest of his life. But, there was no reason they couldn’t enjoy a healthy relationship while he was contemplating his options. It would clear his mind and help him think better.

  Feeling confident about things, he stepped out of the shower and toweled off. He shaved quickly, hung the towel to dry, and went back to the bedroom to dress. He stopped in the kitchen long enough to snag his jacket and keys and he was out through the front door. Right now he had a breakfast date to get to.

  …

  “Deck the halls with boughs of holly.” Dani sang along to the music on the stereo as she danced around the kitchen, stirring batter for blueberry pancakes. This was the most wonderful Christmas she’d had in years, and she knew that Burke was the reason why. Oh, she always loved this time of year. The hustle and bustle, getting together with friends, secrets, cookies, just everything. But this year was unusual because she finally had someone special to share it with.

  She felt as if Burke really understood her. Since the night they had decorated the Christmas tree, he had not pushed the physical side of their relationship. There had been cuddles and good night kisses that made her toes curl just thinking about them, but he hadn’t pushed her any further. Things really had been moving much too fast for her. She could barely look at the sofa without blushing.

  She had certainly enjoyed what had happened. Every time she thought about it, she got all warm and achy inside. Burke could very well be the man for her, but she needed time to get to know him better. Dani knew she had to be sure she loved him and that he loved her before she could give herself to him.

  Maybe she was being unrealistic, but she wanted a relationship as loving as her parents’ had been. Her parents had had their ups and downs and the occasional fight, but there had never been any doubt that they had loved one another. Settling for less was not an option.

  But things were going so well. She knew she was already half in love with him. She thought about him constantly and found herself wanting to share her thoughts and life with him. Burke had spent every evening of this last week at the house with her and the boys. Just sharing meals, helping Shamus with a business assignment for school that was due after the holidays, watching television; little things that had helped her to learn more about him as a man.

  For one thing, he seemed to know a lot about business. Dani would never ask him outright, but she was sure he’d had to sell his business because of the accident, maybe to pay hospital debts or maybe because he wasn’t physically able to handle the routine anymore. She was certain he would tell her what had happened, when he was ready. She wouldn’t ask though, because she knew all about male pride. It was easily wounded and hard to heal. That’s what her mother had always said, and it had always guided her actions with Patrick and Shamus. She would trust it to work with Burke. It was better to wait for him to bring it up.

  She was confident that when Burke decided on his next business venture, he would make a success of it. In her heart, she knew she wanted to be the woman who worked next to him to make it so. She was no stranger to hard work, and it really wouldn’t be work if it meant they were building a life together.

  She could picture it in her mind. She would run her business and help Burke with his business venture. Maybe they would buy an old farmhouse, have two or three children, and get a dog. Children definitely needed a dog. It would be perfect.

  “Earth to Dani.” Patrick’s deep voice startled her, and she jumped, barely catching the bowl before it slipped from her grasp.

  She laughed as she realized that she’d been standing in the middle of the kitchen, a spoon held upright in one hand, staring into space. “You caught me wool-gathering. Merry Christmas, Patrick.” She placed the bowl safely on the counter before she turned and wrapped her arms around her brother, hugging him tight.

  Patrick smiled as he hugged her back. “What were you doing, counting all the loot you go
t for Christmas?”

  “You’re the one who does that, not me. I’m busy getting things ready for breakfast, so as soon as Burke gets here, we can go straight to the presents.”

  “So you were thinking about presents?”

  “Maybe,” Dani answered thoughtfully, flushing a little.

  Shamus bound into the kitchen like an exuberant puppy, practically quivering with excitement. “Can we open the presents now?”

  “As soon as Burke gets here. Here, have some hot chocolate.” She handed him a mug steaming with chocolate.

  “I’ll go watch from the window. Did you tell him early?” Shamus asked as he left the room without waiting for an answer.

  “Yes, I told him early. Your presents aren’t going anywhere without you.”

  “You know what kids are like, Dani.” Patrick assumed a serious adult look on his face. “I think I’ll go watch with him.”

  Her laughter trailed after him as he left the kitchen. They were all little boys at heart. She told herself it was just for their sake that she poured a cup of chocolate for herself and went to the window to watch with them.

  …

  Sitting amidst a pile of discarded wrapping paper, Burke suddenly felt as if he understood the story of Alice in Wonderland. You enjoyed yourself in the strange new land, but you were always alert, never sure just what the inhabitants were going to do next. Every moment was an adventure.

  This was a far cry from his usual Christmas morning. More often than not, he unwrapped any presents he had received from clients and staff on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning, he slept late, rising just in time to dress and go eat a quiet lunch at an elegant restaurant. If he was seeing anyone at the time, he escorted her to dinner. Dinner was usually followed by a trip to her apartment where she showed him how much she liked whatever expensive bauble he had bought her. Year to year, the only thing that varied was the woman, but even that, he controlled. It was just another decision in an endless line of executive decisions.