The Hungering Saga Complete

by Heath Pfaff

  "I won, Lord Lowin, it was my right to choose the prize." Whisper answered without hesitation. She had known what I was going to ask.

  "Why did you give your life for me?" She hadn't answered the question I really wanted answered, the one that still troubled me at times, even years later. There were so many lives lost for my sake, and I questioned all of them. I had never had a chance to ask that question of any of the others.

  "Because I knew you would do what I couldn't. I saw the truth in your eyes as we fought. I saw your strength and determination as I came in to make the killing blow, and I knew what I had to do. There is a fire coming, and the Kaziem will be consumed with everyone else if you can't do something to stop it." She answered, though it was difficult to understand her answer. She seemed to believe I played a more important role than I did.

  "Lucidil put out the fire. He got rid of the Hungering, not I." I pressed, trying to understand, and fearing I never would.

  "The danger is not past, Lowin. In fact, it is closer now that it has ever been before. You must stand and fight where others would forfeit. Others might have been able to do what you must, but they were not given the chance. You must stand strong. Protect your pack, protect us all." Whisper of the Mist insisted in her calm, wise voice.

  "I'm afraid of what I'm becoming, Whisper of the Mist. I'm so full of rage and I just can't hold it all inside. How can I trust myself to do what is right, with all this anger inside of me?" I pleaded for an answer. At that time, Whisper seemed like a pillar of wisdom. I hoped that she would have an answer to ease the demons that had been haunting me.

  "You're trying to stifle an aspect of yourself. You shouldn't. That doesn't weaken it, it makes it stronger." Her golden eyes shifted to the Fell Beast. "He is as much a part of you as am I. If you try to shut him away, he will only fight more fiercely to get out. A man cannot stand divided against himself. You are losing yourself, because you are denying yourself." Her words made sense. I could understand what Whisper of the Mist was saying, but I was not sure what to do with that information. How did I embrace that dark aspect of myself without letting it run out of control?

  "That is a question you must answer for yourself." Whisper answered the query I had not spoken aloud.

  I looked to the hulking black furred figure, and then back to Whisper. I felt a pang of pressure in my chest. I was there, and so was Whisper and the Fell Beast, but Kyeia was nowhere to be found. Was she not another aspect of me? After all, it was her power that bound us all together.

  "Of course she's here, Lowin." Whisper again gave voice to answer the question I had not spoken. She stood up and walked to the lake's edge, pushing her nose against the water so that it rippled. "Look."

  I walked to the water hesitantly, afraid at what I might see beneath its surface. I leaned over and peered into the water. The face looking out at me was not my own, but Kye's. I staggered back, and then fell to my knees and crawled back to the water's surface. There she was again, looking back at me with the same look of wonder I knew must be on my own features. A tear traced a line down the edge of my nose and fell into the water, sending a ripple through Kye's reflected face.

  "She is always closest to you, Lowin Fenly. You may never hear her, and you may not see her. She is here too."

  I smiled, and the face in the water smiled back at me. Kye's smile. I had not seen it in so long. I drew back from the water's edge, my heart fluttering in my chest. Would Kye smile at me if she knew all that had happened since her death? Would she be happy that I had been with Malice? Would she be able to smile if she knew what I had allowed to happen to our daughter?

  "She loved you. Do you really believe that would change?" It was Whisper's voice again. I looked up at the wolf. Her golden eyes were higher than mine while I was kneeling at the water's edge. Would Kye still find something to love in me?

  A howl tore through the air, a jagged, terrible sound that sent a shiver down my spine. I turned to face the source of the cacophony of noise. The Fell Beast was standing, now facing us. His single hand was clutched over his chest, an expression of pain painted his face.

  "HURTS!" He roared, froth flying from his mouth. I stood and stepped back from the suddenly fearsome creature. "WHY DOES IT HURT?!" The beast screamed in rage, its voice barely intelligible.

  Suddenly another howl sounded, this one from Whisper. I snapped around to face her as she finished her soulful cry into the heavens. Her eyes were full of pain, not physical, but emotional anguish.

  "I'm so sorry, Lord Lowin. I'm so very sorry." She said.

  The world shifted and melted, and suddenly the woods were gone, and it was just me, standing alone in a great gray void. I seemed to fall backwards out of my body, and I could see myself standing, right hand clutched over my chest. I was falling away from myself. I saw tears streaming from my eyes, yet I looked like such a fearsome beast in that instant. Behind me, I saw a woman standing, pale hair shining in the void, her hand on my shoulder. She had no eyes.

  "Kye!" I tried to call out, but I had no voice, for I was not in my body. I fell through the gray and. . .

  I sat bolt upright, pain ripping through my body, originating from the center of my right hand. My fist was closed around something hard and I had to force my hand to open, straining the muscles to their limits, though I wasn't sure what force I was struggling against. My hand opened. In my palm rested a small blue glowing crystal. A binding crystal. I dropped it and jumped backwards to my feet, as if the crystal was a monster that might strike out at me. My feet caught in the sand, for I was on a beach, and I fell backwards. Terrible pain roared through my body, and I felt my left shoulder explode with searing agony. I fell to the ground screaming. I couldn't hold the pain inside of me.

  Bone shot from the socket of my left shoulder, erupting forth as though it were a sword piercing my body. Muscle and nerves broke from the joint and began to encircle the newly formed bone, followed by a layer of skin, and then a silky white fur. I watched it in disbelief, barely able to keep my eyes on it through the pain that caused them to stream with tears. I screamed again, though I didn't realize it immediately, as the terrible anguish was too excruciating. Piece by piece my left arm rebuilt itself, first bone, then muscle, then flesh and fur, until my entire arm was grown back, coated in smooth white fur and banded at the wrist in a circle of black. There were other figures all around me, standing in a wide circle, familiar faces, though I didn't see any of them clearly in that moment. I knew them, but I only registered them peripherally.

  The pain from my arm subsided as the limb finished regenerating, and I forced myself to my feet, the new arm forgotten in the tide of rage that was overwhelming me. A single figure stood before me, wings tucked over his shoulders. He bent over and picked up the blue crystal I had dropped. Ethaniel.

  "What have you done?!" I demanded, my voice ripping through my throat with such ferocity that I could feel it reverberating in the air around me. Those blurry shapes around me stepped back, as though physically struck by my voice. I knew the truth. I knew what had happened. Ethaniel had just bound me to a second Uliona. He had always wanted to do so. He'd finally found his chance.

  "I've made you whole again." He answered calmly.

  I flashed across the space between Ethaniel and me. The world slowed, and I passed through it with ease, cutting through the thick resistance of the air as though it were barely affecting me. My fur churned at the press of the wind, and the pressure sank through my flesh to the bones beneath, but I felt unstoppable. I could feel power flowing into my body. I could feel wounds stitching closed faster than ever before, and a terrible vigor filling every muscle contained inside my rebuilt frame. I grabbed the other Knight by his throat and lifted him into the air. His eyes barely had time to go wide as I did all of this. I had been fast before, but with new energy flowing into me, I was even faster. I let the world resume its normal pace around me.

  "How dare you bind me to another life!" My hand was tightening, my claws growing sha
rper.

  Ethaniel did not struggle against me. He was motionless in my grip, his four eyes trained upon me with a mix of hostility and ambition. It was the ambition that confused me the most. There was no fear in him. His lack of fear only made me angrier. I threw him to the ground. His massive body felt surprisingly light. He was laying face down in the sand at the side of the ocean. I knelt upon his back, grabbing the hair on his head with my right hand and turning it to the side so his face was not buried.

  "Who have you killed to make me stronger, Ethaniel? Whose life is forfeit for this? Do I know them? Do you know them? Have you seen the face of the man or woman you've sentenced to death on my behalf?" I feared that if I stopped speaking I might just kill the old Knight. My anger was becoming a beat all its own. The Fell Beast roared within me, and I struggled to stifle it. The beast would not be quieted.

  "Does it matter who she is?" Ethaniel said, his words strained. "You were gravely wounded, and weakened by the ordeal coming into shore. You've been unconscious for hours. I did what was necessary to save my king. If you think that is such a crime then . . ."

  "Be quiet!" I yelled in a fury, terribly aware of the life of the woman that was draining into me. I did not know her, but I could not help but picture Kye. He'd known my wishes. He'd known I would have rather died than be bonded again, yet he'd done it anyway. That knowledge above all else incited the fire that burned in my heart. I felt strength coursing into my body, and wondered whose life was dwindling at the other end of the bond? Some poor Uliona woman was destined to fade until her life ran out as I became something far more dangerous than I already was. Not even her eyes would be saved when I was done with her. She would fade to nothingness, lost forever from the world. The howling beast within me broke free from its bonds, yet I did not lose my consciousness.

  "I'm tired of your excuses. I'm tired of your lies." I said, my voice strangely quiet, even to my own ears. I reached my new left hand up to the base of one of Ethaniel's wings and took a firm hold. "I don't care that you think you've done the right thing. I don't care." I pulled violently, flexing my newly strengthened muscles with all the power I could muster. There was a terrible, tearing, popping sound as flesh, bone, and cartilage tore and ripped free in my hand. Ethaniel screamed. It was a sound of utmost despair unlike anything I'd ever heard before. It was certainly not a sound I'd ever expected to hear from the leader of the Knights of Ethan. The Fell Beast reveled within, and I reached to try and quiet it. I struggled to suppress its monstrous hunger, ignoring the advice given to me in my dream just moments before. It would not be bound. It wasn't finished.

  There were gasps of shock and fear from those gathered around, but none stepped forward. I tossed the chuck of useless wing aside, and placed my now bloody left hand against Ethaniel's neck, keeping him pinned. The arm felt strange. It was mine, but it felt new, and untried. I'd been without the use of that limb for so long, that the sensation of touch in those fingers seemed alien. I removed my right hand from the old Knight's hair and grabbed a hold of the other wing. The white fur of the new limb contrasted with the black of the old, making it seem like it wasn't even my own hands doing the bloody work before me.

  "Lowin, no. You can't do this to me I'm . . ." Ethaniel spoke quickly, but I ignored his words. My muscles flexed and flesh and tendons tore with a ripping sound quite unlike anything that can be described. If one has never heard a living creature being physically torn to pieces, then there is no parallel of description possible. Ethaniel's scream shook the air with the power of "the voice." I barely noticed that he was using that particular skill. I heard sobbing, and the sounds of footfalls running away. Malice probably. It was good that she was alive, and well enough to be upset. I should have been horrified at what I was doing, and I was on some level, but my heart was numb. I tossed the other wing aside. Blood flowed down Ethaniel's back, soaking into the fabric of my tattered pants, and into my shirt. The fur of my arms was sticky with it, my white arm was red.

  "Tell me the truth." I demanded, my voice sounded far away. "Tell me what is going on, and what your part has been in all of it." There was no reply. I looked down and saw that Ethaniel's eyes were closed. All four eyes were shut and sweat beaded on his forehead. He had passed out. I could still feel the pulse of his heart through my hand on his neck. The rage fled, leaving me empty and frightened.

  I stood up and looked at those around me. Tower, Silver, Telistera. I saw Snow laying a few feet away, her eyes closed. She was still, but my eyes detected the slight movement of her chest as it rose and fell. She was sleeping, deeply. Probably injured at the same time that I was. Telistera was gashed and beaten. That held true of Silver and Tower as well. The faces watching me were scraped and tired, and frozen in shock.

  "Did you know he had a binding crystal?" I asked the three facing me. They shook their heads negatively as a group.

  "He said he was going to watch over you while Malice got some sleep, and then a few minutes later you got up. We had no idea. . ." It was Silver who spoke up. She had a long gash that had already begun to heal along one side of her face. Her clothes were bloody and torn. Her hair, that peculiar strip down the center of her head, was disheveled, hanging in every which direction. She looked scared.

  I nodded. "Alright, I want someone to keep an eye on him. When he wakes up, I want him watched. He's not to go anywhere. I'm not done speaking to him yet." I looked to Tower. "How is Snow?" At my question, the look of fear fled from the tall Knight's eyes. It was replaced by concern.

  "She's injured badly. She hasn't regained consciousness since we made it to shore." He spoke calmly, if not quietly, but it was obvious that he was worried about the white-furred Knight.

  "See to her. I'm sure she will recover. She is strong, and too stubborn to die on a beach in her sleep." I told the other Knight. I wasn't just putting on a strong face for Tower. I believed that Snow would recover so long as she was still breathing. She was a strong woman, and a fast healer.

  I scanned the area around me. "Which way did Malice go?" I asked, when I could not find clear sign of her passing. I needed to go to her.

  "She went off into the trees." Telistera pointed. "If you're going to go after her, you should at least clean the blood off of your hands first." The silver haired and eyed woman did not look happy. Her eyes were awash with an accusing disappointment. My loss of control had injured her faith in me. She did not look well, either. Her hair seemed to have lost some of its sheen, and her wounds did not look like they were healing as fast as the others. Worry crept into the hollow left by my anger. My friends, no, my travel companions, were suffering for me. I would have liked to call them friends, but my actions would not allow that. One did not treat their friends as I treated those around me.

  I looked down at my blood caked hands, and then walked to the shore line to rinse off in the ocean. The water was cold, but it did the job. The blood stains in my clothes did not come out. I spent a few minutes working on getting the worst of the mess off of me, but eventually I had to give up the task as hopeless. I stood up and walked into the forest to follow after Malice. Telistera, Silver and Tower watched me leave, their eyes as troubled as my heart.

  The forest I entered was familiar and yet not. I recognized some of the plants and trees, but many others were of varieties I had never encountered before, or were only similar. Even the insect sounds of the woods were different, and the scent subtly so as well. I felt as though I were walking through some terrible dream. I looked down at my hands. One was white, one was black. The white fur was still pink tinged from my assault on Ethaniel. I flexed my left hand. White. It was as though the limb were a ghost of the arm it had replaced. I closed my left fist. A life was being spent for that flesh.

  It took me some time to find Malice. When I did come across her, she was leaning against a tree at the side of swiftly running creek. Her eyes were looking outward and away. There were no tears in them. There was no smile on her face, only a hard, humorless expression. She turned
her head as I approached, and then pushed herself away from the tree until she was standing before me. I drew closer. There was a tension in the air that I did not like. She looked less injured than the others on shore. I was thankful for that.

  I saw her motion coming the moment she initiated it, but I was so stunned that I did not even think to react. Her fist struck hard on my left cheek, and I fell backwards, landing with a heavy thud on my back some few feet behind where I had been standing. I felt my jaw crack and realign itself, the healing happening almost at the instant of damage.

  "That was terrible. What you did to Ethaniel was wrong. What he did was an evil thing, and he should have been punished, but not like that. You went too far, Lowin." Malice's words were strained.

  I pushed myself back to my feet. "I know." I whispered, as I dusted myself off. There was little else I could say. I had been wrong in the way I handled the situation. I let myself be ruled by my anger, driven by the beast inside of me, and justice had not been properly served. I was playing the part of the monster again, a role I only too easily took.

  "I love you, Lowin, but you scare me sometimes." She turned her back to me.