Enforcing Boundaries (The Boundaries Series Book 1)

by Eva Harper

  I was poked and prodded and pinched all day long. There were two large bandages on either side of my neck that the nurse changed every few hours.

  Another nurse came in and told Theo she was going to wash me; he didn’t allow her to. Instead, he took the soft cloth and a basin of warm water and began cleaning me. He cleaned the dirt from my feet and fingertips, the dried blood on my arm, and some on my legs.

  As he was dabbing the cloth around my forehead, I winced.

  He froze and sucked his breath in.

  “Margo?” he whispered gingerly. I practically moaned at his voice, it was breathless and barely noticeable. Theo huffed out a breath that sounded something like a laugh like he couldn’t believe what was happening.

  “Margo, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?” I couldn’t. I tried, but my eyes remained shut. “Okay, can you squeeze my hand?”

  That I could do. It wasn’t anything special, but I wiggled my fingers in Theo’s, and he cried out, picking my hand up in his and pressing his lips to every inch.

  “Margo, I’m right here. I swear, I’m not going anywhere. You’ve just got to open your eyes, can you try?”

  I wanted to glare at him, tell him, ‘don’t you think I would open my eyes if I could?’ He would’ve given me a look and told me he was only trying to be encouraging.

  Sometime later, maybe an hour or so, I could open my eyes. It was slow at first, but then my eyes snapped open all at once.

  Everything was so crisp. I could see everything in the room at the same time. Theo was looking at me anxiously, my hand still in his grasp. I took a huge breath in and looked at him.

  “Margo?” he said warily. His eyebrows were scrunched up, and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a week. I swallowed, and my ears popped. “Sweetheart?” This time his voice sounded much louder to me, clearer, stronger. I jumped a little in surprise.

  When I looked at the rest of the room, I came to the realization that I could feel the blood pumping through me. I could feel each of my heartbeats, the beeps from the machines, the air coming through the vents, the click of someone’s shoes down the hall, the wind from outside, a car door closing nearby.

  I looked at Theo, and it was like I had never looked at him before. His eyes, which I never noticed, had little flecks of grey near his irises, watched me nervously.

  I inhaled deeply and smelled something warm, like a wood-burning stove. Every noise around me got louder, and I started breathing faster, which made my heartbeats speed up.

  I was hyperventilating before I could stop myself. Theo was immediately leaning over me, holding either side of my face, telling me to take deep breaths. He called for a nurse, and a woman ran in. She touched my arm, and I felt each nerve react where she touched.

  My body threw itself forward, trying to get off the bed. Theo grabbed my arm as I swung my legs over the side. I shook him off and then stopped, how could I fight back so easily? I was human, but more than that, I was wounded it that arm.

  There were no bandages on my shoulder, and I didn’t feel any pain.

  “Margo, please just relax. I can explain everything to you if you just lie back down.” Theo tried to soothe me, but each new word sent me flying further into a frenzy.

  I jumped off the bed and looked between them like a cornered animal. Theo held his hands out, showing me he wasn’t going to hurt me. The nurse watched me with concern, her eyes were wide, and she had sweat on her forehead and upper lip.

  “Margo,” Theo said more aggressively.

  I whimpered deep within my lungs and looked at the door in my peripheral vision. I dove for the door, leaping past the nurse, and scrambled to gain my bearings. When I was four steps down the hallway, Theo’s arms circled my waist and held me to him.

  I kicked and stretched my arms. He walked me back carefully and set me down on the bed. As I moved around violently, two thick straps were attached to my arms, strapping me down to the bed. The same straps were placed on my legs, I was trapped.

  “Margo, listen to me, listen to my voice. I know you’re scared, but I am right here. Let me explain this to you, please. I know your instincts are telling you to run, to fight me, but I need you to listen to me now.” Theo’s voice was hard, but there was a vulnerability in it.

  Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and leaked down my cheeks. Theo kissed them, although I turned my head away.

  “Margo, after you passed out, we had to rush you here. You lost a lot of blood, and the damage to our mark wasn’t allowing you to heal. The doctors were trying to save you, but there was a lot of damage,” his voice broke. I calmed myself, but my breathing was still faster than normal. “You were stable for two days, but you didn’t move at all. In the middle of the night, you started crashing. Your heart stopped. They tried to resuscitate you, but your heart wouldn’t start beating again.”

  Theo placed his hand on my cheek and turned it to face him.

  “I couldn’t lose you, Margo. I know that it was selfish, and I know when you truly realize what I’ve done, you’ll probably hate me, but I had to take that chance. I had to turn you.”

  It was like my heart stopped beating for the second time.

  “Margo, please try to understand, I did it to save you. You would have died. I couldn’t let you die, Margo, I couldn’t let you down again. I failed to save you the first two times, and I couldn’t let myself just sit there and let you be taken from me again.”

  Theo was crying. Three tears escaped his eyes, but he didn’t brush them away. I tried to turn my head, but he pressed his hand more firmly.

  “Little one, you are my entire world. I had to save you. I love you too much to let you go. I know that’s mean and selfish; I know that. Please, Margo, try to understand why I did this.”

  I tried to sit up and was aggravated when the straps held me down. I jerked against them a few times, and then tried more violently. I was shaking, kicking, and punching the bed frame to get free. Theo leaned over my body and set his head on my thigh, crying gently.

  When I stopped fighting the straps, Theo sat back up. “Margo, I know that this is scary for you. When wolves are turned for the first time, they have adrenaline pumping through them. Your strength is much greater than you think, that’s why we have to keep you here until you’ve calmed down. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

  “Get out,” I croaked.

  “Margo?” he said, surprised.

  “Get out,” I growled.

  “Please just-”

  “Get out! Get out! Get the fuck out of here!” My screams sounded psychotic, wild, rabid. Theo’s shoulders drooped, and he hung his head. He placed his hand on the side of the bed and leaned towards me.

  “Margo, I’m not going to leave you here alone.”

  “You said you’d give me anything I wanted when I woke up,” I reminded him. He looked down, regretting his words. “I want you to get out.”

  “No.” He continued to plead with me and tell me how sorry he was. I turned my head away and closed my eyes.

  I didn’t want to hear him.

  My parents told me they would love me no matter what, but I couldn’t.

  Stranger's Body

  I was released from the hospital the next day and returned home on the condition that Theo stayed with Gabriel. He protested greatly, but when I told him I would go back to Caddy’s pack, he promised he would not set foot in the house until I allowed him.

  It felt different walking into the house alone. It felt emptier now, and not because Theo wasn’t there to take up space, but because all the little nuances about the house were suddenly gone. The quiet clicking from the basement quickly became the sound of the radiator. The picture windows all had speckles of dust and grime across them, unnoticeable to my human eyes.

  I walked slowly through the house, reacquainting myself with each fixture and crevice. The pantries smelled like sugary cereals. The kitchen table had a nick along the left side where Cam dropped his knife. My fingers trailed over the
movie cases in the entertainment center. I could read all the titles in seconds.

  The steps weren’t as steep anymore.

  The frosted glass door that entered to our bedroom had lost its luster, and I could see everything on the other side. Our bed was disheveled. The white comforter was bunched up on my side of the mattress, feathered out, and licking the rug under the bed.

  I crawled from Theo’s side of the bed to mine and moved languidly until the blankets covered me from my toes to my nose. The fabric smelled different.

  This felt like a stranger’s house.

  This felt like a stranger’s body.

  I didn’t understand how to move my arms. My legs felt lighter, or maybe it was that I was stronger, and it didn’t cause as much strain to move them. My fingernails felt too long. My teeth felt foreign.

  Nothing about this felt right.

  I wanted to go back. I clenched my eyes tightly, hoping that in some alternate universe, I could be back to my old self. But there was nothing. When I opened my eyes again, I blinked away the frustrated tears and pulled the blankets closer.

  The fabric felt softer.

  I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. But it couldn’t. I wasn’t human anymore.

  I threw the covers off and ran to the bathroom where I turned on the water to the shower. I stepped in, shedding my clothes as they dampened around my skin. Tears blended with the water as they streamed down my face.

  I cried out, knowing no one could hear me. Loudly, and without refrain. I cried to get the pain out from my chest.

  My mark tingled on my neck, and I knew Theo could tell I was upset. I couldn’t care about him right now, though. I couldn’t fathom the pain he felt because my pain had filled up my entire threshold. There was nothing left for him at that moment.

  I knew I was harsh when I yelled at him to leave the hospital room, and I meant to be. I was not worried about being demure and soothing when I screamed, I was worried about my own well-being. I was angry with him, a fit of anger I had never felt before, not even with Reed Porter.

  Theo was my mate. He was supposed to protect me and love me and respect me above all else. This wasn’t respect. This wasn’t love. This might’ve been protection, but it was masked under the veil of selfishness. He was being selfish.

  I had never made him promise me anything other than this. I hadn’t asked for anything more. This was the only demand I ever made, and he ignored it when he placed his venom in my body.

  I heard footsteps outside, and I could sense it was the guards switching their posts. Theo had increased the number of guards at our house and around the perimeter now that he wasn’t in the house to protect me.

  By the time I got out of the shower, my toes and fingers were pruned, and my hair had lost any sense of curl. I stepped raggedly over the edge of the shower, leaving my clothes on the tile floor.

  I laid on top of the bed, letting all the water soak into the fabrics.

  I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I was woken hours later by Gemma entering the house. She called my name, and I could do little else but pull the blanket to cover my bare body. Gemma softly walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

  “M-Margo?” She whispered, cracking the door open. I didn’t respond. “M-Margo, are you ok-kay?”

  She walked to the other side of the bed, gently sitting on the edge near my knees. She looked over my blank face, and her eyes grew sad. “How are you feeling? D-Do you have any p-pain?” When she didn’t hear an answer, she grabbed the covers surround my face. Her fingers pulled strands of wet hair from my cheeks and set them behind my head.

  “Come on,” she said, standing up. She held her hands out like she was waiting to help me. I didn’t move. She took a deep breath and threw the covers back. I scrambled to pull something around my naked body, but she took my hands and hauled me off the bed. My hands lamely covered my flesh as she walked into our closet.

  I was handed comfortable clothes, ones with Theo’s scent on them. I pulled the pants on but glared at the sweatshirt. She sighed and handed me a shirt of my own.She made us sandwiches in the kitchen, and we sat on the same side of the counter, eating them silently.

  Then, she started coming by the house every morning, and this became our routine. She would pull me out of bed or off the couch and make sure I ate.

  I tried to cook something on the stove but found the smells were too overwhelming. I tried to read in the times I was alone, but the ink impurities on the pages were the only things my eyes caught. I walked around the house aimlessly, watching the guards outside the windows, and wondering how they could function so easily.

  My muscles ached inside me, needing to be stretched out multiple times a day. It became difficult to sleep with the muscle aches, and I stayed up most nights, sleeping for a few hours during the day when I could. The cramps would hit me at all times of the day.

  I was standing at the sink when my legs wavered so strongly, I had to hold myself up by my arms. Gemma watched from the kitchen table pitifully.

  “You have t-to shift,” she told me softly.

  “No,” I sniffled, closing my eyes and waiting for the muscle cramp to dissipate.

  “It’s the only way it’s g-going to g-get b-better,” she said stronger.

  “No,” I snapped.

  “This isn’t healthy.”

  My legs stopped cramping, and I tested my weight. I could stand on them again, and I took the opportunity to walk out of the room. Gemma followed me.

  “We c-can help you shift,” she explained. I didn’t want to shift, nor did I want their help doing it.

  “Go home,” I told her softly, walking towards the stairs. “Go tell Theo what I did today.”

  Her footing faltered. “What are you t-talking about?”

  “I know you’ve been reporting back to him,” I confronted her, turning as I hovered on the first step. “That’s why you’ve been visiting so much. He can’t be here, so he sent you. I get it.”

  “M-margo, I’m here b-because I’m your friend,” she shook her head, though her eyes held a little guilt. Both could be true.

  “It’s okay,” I told her. “I’d do the same thing.”

  She groaned as I went back upstairs. “You c-can’t j-just hide out for the rest of your life!”

  “I’m not.”

  She made a noise of disbelief. “Really?”

  “I just…I’m waiting until it goes back to normal,” I murmured, crawling back into bed.

  “Normal?”

  “Human,” I whispered into the pillow. She sunk into the mattress next to me, laying where Theo normally did.

  “You c-can’t go b-back,” Gemma said emphatically. “You’re never g-going to b-be human again.”

  I ignored her and pulled the blanket closer to me.

  “Is it really that b-bad?” she asked.

  It took me longer to answer her than before. “It’s not that.”

  “Then what?”

  “It’s the choice.” She sucked in a breath and remained quiet. “I know not all wolves are bad, I know that,” I said, sinking further into the pillows. “But it was my choice. Not his. It was my choice what to do with my body and what I wanted to be or not be, and he took that away. I don’t want this body. I don’t know what to do with it. I wasn’t meant to be this.”

  “You would’ve d-died, M-margo,” she returned.

  “I know.” I nodded into the blanket. My voice grew thicker. “I know that. But I can’t help but think that would’ve been better than this.”

  “It’s hard.” She nodded against the sheets. Her lungs quivered as she sucked in a sharp breath. “B-but this life is b-better than that. You c-can’t let that feeling win.”

  “I didn’t get to choose,” I told her, rolling over to look at her. Her eyes were filled with the same fat tears mine were. “I didn’t choose this.”

  “I know.” She nodded, wiping her tears away. “B-but, what was he supposed to d-do? Watch you d-
die?”

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head. She smiled sadly at me and took my hand in hers. That night, I didn’t fall asleep alone in the house. And in the morning, I made the decision to call Theo over to the house. He smiled when I opened the door, but he didn’t smile when he left that day.

  Catch-22

  Theo arrived at the house at 8:59 but waited outside the front door until I opened it at 9 a.m. He smiled when he first saw me and reached to touch me, but I stepped out of the way, giving him room to enter. He stepped around me and strolled into the house, taking note of things that were moved as he walked.

  “You wanted to talk?” he announced, perching on the edge of the couch. I gingerly sat on the chair, nodding my head. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Why did you turn me?” I blurted out, looking straight into his eyes. He knew this question was coming.

  He let out a small breath and said, “You were dying.”

  “Yes, and?”

  His eyes narrowed. “And I needed to save your life. It was the only way.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “What?”

  “Are you sure?” I asked again. “That is was the only way?”

  “Margo, you were flatlining. Your heart stopped.”

  “I know,” I pressed on. “But was it the only way?”

  “What are you trying to imply?” he said defensively.

  “Did you change me because I was dying, and there was no other way or did you change me because I was dying?”

  “You think if there was any other way, I would’ve done this to you? I know this isn’t what you wanted,” Theo fought. He was wringing his hands over and over again on his knees.

  “When I said I didn’t want to be a wolf, I meant it,” I bit out, glaring at him. He paused to collect himself.

  “You would have died,” he said.

  “And that should have been my choice.”

  “You don’t mean-”