Loose Ends

by Kristen Ashley

  “Baby, come when you come,” he urged, going slightly faster (but not fast enough) and thrusting definitely harder (just hard enough).

  “My darling,” she breathed.

  Unable to stop herself, she moved her free leg to wrap it around his buttocks, feeling them tense and flex with his drives, just that bowing her back as she struggled to move her hips to meet his thrusts.

  “Let go, Luci.”

  She was dazed, gone, unable to focus, nothing but a body suspended, ready to fall, holding back because she wanted him to go with her.

  He thrust faster, deeper, rolling his thumb harder. “Let go, Luciana.”

  She cried out, tensing her calf around his ass, locking him to her, her back curving up, her head jolting to the side, her lips parted, whispery noises escaping as she clamped her pussy around him and fell, only to glide through the air, not in freefall.

  Just free.

  Flying.

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  “Christ. Jesus. Fuck yes,” he grunted.

  It took her a while. Hours or minutes or decades, she had no idea, before she realized the fullness of what he was giving her.

  She came back to earth in time to feel him pounding inside, the muscles of his chest and neck popping, the expression on his face so dark and ravening, if he was not Hap, it would be frightening.

  And he was giving her this too.

  He’d watched her.

  Now she would watch him.

  He shifted his arm so he’d let her leg go and his weight came to her, his hands shoving under her, up her neck, into her hair, fisting. She curled her other leg around his back, clutching him, her breaths forced out with each of his powerful thrusts, mingling with his grunts of effort.

  “Call it,” he growled.

  “Come, darling,” she purred.

  His head shot back, his body straining, his lips opened, his fingers in her hair tugged down, shocking a pleasured cry from her mouth and his hips bucked into hers as he came inside her, giving her his offering.

  She knew, giving her everything.

  His head fell forward, his forehead in the side of her neck, and she released the comforter to wrap her arms around him.

  But he stayed inside and this, she’d learned, was Hap. He stayed connected for as long as he could, not sliding out until he had no choice, and even then he kept close.

  It took him a while to recover and she still heard the labor of his breathing when he asked, “You okay?”

  She most definitely was.

  “Yes, bello,” she whispered.

  He kissed her neck but kept his face there and did what he did, keeping them connected until he naturally began to slide out.

  Only then did he pull away, but only to shift her to her side and press in behind her, wrapping one arm around her to pull her closer, the other he slid under her head to cushion her, and he lifted to kiss her shoulder before he buried his faced in the back of her hair.

  Luci stared at the unceasing beat of the sea.

  Now it soothed her.

  She sighed.

  “Be a minute, then I’m back,” he muttered, touching his lips to the back of her neck before gently pulling away to leave the bed.

  Luci didn’t move. Didn’t think. She heard the toilet flush but it was part of the real world, outside of what they’d just done, what they’d just shared, what Hap had just given to her, so she refused to process it.

  The only thing she processed was him coming back, moving her to bunch pillows under their heads, one for her, several for him so he could watch the ocean without obstruction. He then pulled her into his arms, curled his legs into hers, and the world was right again.

  “You gotta check in at the shop?” he asked.

  She shook her head slightly. “Not today.”

  “But soon?”

  Sadly, she had to nod her head, this she also did slightly. “Yes, Happy.”

  “Monday,” he decreed. “Tuesday, I got some exercises I gotta do with the boys this week, I can’t get away early. You drive to me. I want you home when I get there.”

  She felt her lips curve. “All right, caro.”

  Hap fell silent.

  Luci didn’t break it.

  Hap didn’t either.

  Until he did.

  “Nobody but me?” he asked the back of her head quietly.

  She knew what he was asking.

  Nobody but him since Travis.

  “Nobody but you,” she answered, also quietly.

  “Nobody but you since we kissed, honey, but before that . . .” He didn’t finish his sentence. But he did go on. “Minute I get back to the base, I’ll make an appointment. Get the all clear, you on birth control?”

  “I’ll make an appointment.”

  “Okay, baby,” he murmured, using his arm to pull her deeper into his body.

  Luci sighed again.

  Hap was silent.

  Luci didn’t break it.

  After a time, Hap did.

  “Talkin’ to him, feelin’ his anger, even thinking I got it, I could deal with it, I would feel the same, I know we’re tight and this would be a tough spot, but he’d get past it because I’d eventually get past it, something happened.”

  “What, bello?”

  “You’re my religion.”

  Luci closed her eyes.

  Yes.

  She’d been right.

  She’d just been worshiped.

  “I’m all about God,” Hap continued. “Grew up Christian. We went to church on Sundays. My gram was devout. And okay, I fucked around a lot at church because I was me. But I believe. And what I believe is, He made you and He gave you to me, so He’d get where I’m at.”

  She opened her eyes and said, “Yes, darling, He’d get where you’re at.”

  His arms gave her a squeeze. “I thought that, and Sam was sayin’ shit I knew he would say and it hit me. Him saying I had no business bein’ with you was like him sayin’ I had no business believing in my God. I needed to believe in his God. And that wasn’t only whacked, it was just wrong.”

  “Yes, it was just wrong,” she agreed.

  “I tried to explain that to him, without the religion part, even though I think he’d get me. Kia is his religion. He nearly blew it with her, took off on one of his gigs, and she left. When he got back and she was gone, he called me. Never seen the man panicked. Never heard that coming from him. She was gone and he was undone.”

  “I remember.”

  “So, he’d understand.”

  “Yes.”

  “I tried to tell myself this was new for him so he might not understand where I was at. Tried to tell myself we didn’t have a lot of time in, so I had to get that he wouldn’t understand how deep I was. Tried to keep my head there so I wouldn’t lose my mind. But he told me I had to let you go. He told me I was confusing you. He told me you were looking for Gordo—”

  Luci’s body jerked and she moved as if to pull away and bound up, but his arm banded around her belly and he shoved his face in the back of her hair.

  “Cool it, baby. Cool it. Cool it. You knew he’d go there. I went there. You knew he would. Cut him some slack.”

  She drew a sharp breath into her nose and forced herself to relax.

  Hap kissed the side of her neck and settled in behind her.

  His voice held some humor when he continued, “Though, that’s when I lost it with him. Told him he could say dick shit to me, but that was insulting you, and we were done. Then I made us done and hauled our asses outta there.”

  “You can imagine, feeling that was an insult to me, how I feel as it was also an insult to you,” she pointed out.

  “Yeah.” Definite humor in that. “I can imagine.”

  She twisted her neck to catch his gaze. “I’m not finding things funny, Hap.”

  “Baby, he can think what he thinks for as long as he thinks it. He can even not get over it, which he won’t. Kia’d have his ass in a sling, and he’d never lose you
. Not ever. The man has lost a lot. He also would never lose me. But as long as it takes him, it takes him. And where are we?”

  She stared into his eyes.

  He gave her a shake of his arm. “Where are we, Luciana?”

  “Together,” she whispered.

  “Yeah,” he confirmed.

  “I’m still angry at him.”

  Hap gave her a gentle smile. “I figured you would be.”

  “You were . . .” She hesitated, took in a breath and then guided him there, “In a bad place about your grandparents.”

  His expression went as gentle as his smile and he bent in to give her a brief kiss.

  When he pulled away, however, he didn’t go far.

  “Regrets suck,” he muttered. “You are . . . the things you’ve been saying . . .” He shook his head, looked to the sea, then returned to her and whispered, “Baby, you’ve been helping me see things differently. And now that I see me like you see me, I just wish I hadn’t pissed so much life away so they could have seen it too since it was always there. I just didn’t get it.”

  She had no control over the moan that floated up her throat and out of her mouth.

  And then they weren’t spooning.

  Hap turned her into his arms and held her as she wept into his chest.

  He said nothing. He didn’t try to hush her tears. He did eventually begin to stroke her hair.

  But other than that, he let her cry it out.

  He also let her burrow closer when she’d burned it out, his arms tightening around her to hold her there.

  She sniffled and told his chest, “I have something else to teach you.”

  “Great,” he muttered, but she smiled because she could tell with just that one word he was teasing.

  She stopped smiling because what she had to say she knew would be hard for him to believe.

  But it was crucial she guided him to believing it.

  She tipped her head back and he dipped his chin down so he could look into her eyes.

  “Hearts don’t work the way you think they do, darling.”

  His arms spasmed around her.

  She just pressed closer.

  And kept speaking.

  “There aren’t rooms that people fill or pieces you give away. If you love someone with all of your heart, you just do. But you can love many with all your heart. Like I love my father. And Sam. And Kia. And my friend Massimo. And Celeste.” She slid her hand up his chest to the bottom of his throat and pressed lightly. “Like I love Travis. And like I love you.”

  He dropped his forehead to hers and whispered, “Baby.”

  “It’s true. He had more time with me, but in the end, I hope, I’ll have more time with you. But he won’t have more of me, like you won’t have more of me. You both have all of me and always will.”

  “You know I loved you before he died.”

  She nodded, her forehead rolling against his. “I know.”

  “Not like this, I couldn’t go there, but still like this, honey. Somewhere deep I wouldn’t go.”

  This was news.

  “Really?”

  “Luci, you’re you.”

  That made her smile. “This is true. I am me.”

  She saw his eyes smile back, he gave her a squeeze, a quick kiss, and then pulled his face an inch away.

  “So . . . we’re good,” he noted.

  “We’re good,” she agreed.

  And finally, she was thinking they were.

  And again, she felt happy.

  “We’re doin’ this,” he stated.

  She smiled again, but a lot bigger this time. “We are.”

  He took in her smile before he lifted his gaze back to hers. “So how you feel about hitting the crab shack?”

  “I feel like that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day, except my idea of swinging through Bo’s. But the crab shack is better, even than Bo’s.”

  That got her his smile before he kissed her again, not briefly this time.

  Then he dragged her out of bed.

  She was pulling on her panties when it struck her that he was still wearing his jeans.

  “Can I put in a request?” she asked.

  “Hit me,” he invited, reaching to nab his sweater from the floor.

  “You on your back with your arms over your head, totally naked.”

  He tipped his head to the side, openly intrigued.

  “You gonna go down on me?”

  “Well . . . obviously.”

  “Babe, you’re good with your mouth.”

  She struggled her bra on. “So are you.”

  He assumed a look of such supreme male satisfaction that it made her wonder if she should take her bra off again.

  “You get in your flow, and I gotta fuck your face, even with my arms over my head, and you got no problem with that, I’m in.”

  She’d stopped mid-straightening the twists in her straps so she could fully experience the lovely shiver his words caused.

  He’d just finished tugging down his sweater when he saw her arrested and therefore asked, “You feelin’ like goin’ to Skip’s in your undies?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “Then get a move on, gorgeous. I’m feelin’ the need for a sandwich and then getting home so I can get naked for my woman.”

  Now that . . .

  That got her moving.

  Paper and Memories

  Kia

  I WAS READY for my stubborn husband when his stubborn ass got home from his run.

  So the instant he walked through the door, I asked, “Are we going to Luci’s now so you can apologize to Hap?”

  He gave me a scowl as he trudged his big, sweaty body across the living room to the stairs and replied, “I’m hittin’ the shower then I’m going to the grocery store.”

  Avoiding me.

  Because his stubborn ass knew he was wrong.

  He just wouldn’t admit it.

  I moved to the foot of the stairs and called to his back, “We don’t need anything at the store.”

  He made no sound or movement to indicate he heard me, just turned left at the top of the stairs toward our room and disappeared.

  “You’re being stubborn, Sampson Cooper!” I shouted.

  At that, I heard our bedroom door slam.

  “And annoying!” I yelled.

  To that, nothing.

  “Bah!” I huffed and walked to my laptop sitting on the kitchen bar.

  I was not surprised at his reaction to the news of there being a Hap and Luci. Nor his stubbornness in the hour-long, heated discussion (okay, fight) we’d had after Hap and Luci left. Nor his declaring our discussion (yeah, fight) was done and making that so by changing into his running gear and taking off (he did that a lot when we fought, mostly because—it was sweet, though not when we were fighting—he hated fighting with me so that was his way to put an end to it, that and the grocery store). Nor the fact that he was still feeling obstinate when he returned, even though he’d been out running for over an hour.

  I was still pissed.

  Sam, of all people, should get it.

  Why didn’t he get it?

  I jabbed through the website I’d been cruising and considered buying a baby crib that cost eight thousand dollars, just to teach him.

  The problem with that was, Sam was loaded. He was a high school football coach, but he’d been an NFL superstar and then did other stuff that I was glad he no longer did, but it had paid well, so he was rich as sin. He wouldn’t blink at an eight-thousand-dollar crib. He didn’t blink at anything I bought. If I wanted it and didn’t get it, but he heard I wanted it, he got it for me.

  I wasn’t exactly broke either, seeing as I was married to him, and Sam was definitely a “what’s mine is yours” type of guy, even if he wasn’t exactly a “what’s yours is mine” type of guy. And this was not because he didn’t need what was mine, but the buckets of cash I had were from a life insurance policy my dead first husband took out on himself incidentally
while he was also insuring me due to his plan to have me murdered.

  Yes.

  Things had been a little crazy,

  Fortunately, life had evened out.

  Not to mention, Sam was insanely excited I was having his baby, in his badass, ex-professional football player, ex-special forces, ex-mercenary kind of way, of course. We got an Amazon package just yesterday that had three baby books of names.

  Just names.

  He had a legal pad in his office upstairs that had four whole pages of names written on them (three for boys, one for girls, the boy thing was perplexing him, it was cute, that was, it was cute yesterday, when I wasn’t ticked at him—we’d find out the sex soon so at least he could pare that down).

  So if I bought an eight-thousand-dollar crib, he might click through the site and ask why I didn’t buy the twelve-thousand-dollar one.

  He was baby crazy.

  Which kind of shocked me he was fighting with me, because for the last few months he’d acted like I was the first woman to successfully conceive a child in the last millennium. It was a wonder he didn’t carry me everywhere and have the entire house padded so I didn’t bump into anything and get a bruise.

  I guessed that meant he was pretty displeased Hap was going for it with Luci.

  But really, we were all adults, including Hap and Luci, so I did not get why Sam thought he had a say.

  I mean, I knew he was as close as a brother to Gordo, even if I’d never met Gordo. I also knew Gordo had died in Sam’s arms. It broke my heart and I hated that for my husband (really hated it), but Gordo’s death nearly broke Luci, and her healing enough to try to find love again was something to celebrate.

  Dammit.

  I was deciding the crib really was cute when Sam stalked into the kitchen wearing a sweater and faded jeans, the former looked nice on him, the latter made me want to jump his bones, even pissed (yep, the jeans were that good, or more to the point, Sam’s ass was that good).

  “I’m buying an eight-thousand-dollar crib for Carly,” I announced as he swiped his keys off the counter.

  “She’s not gonna be named Carly,” he growled.

  “I like Carly.”

  He stopped in order to blast me with his stare.

  And again, I wanted to jump his bones.

  What could I say? My hubby was hot, even pissed. I thought that before I’d met him, when he was my celebrity crush. I definitely thought that now, after I thoroughly enjoyed him knocking me up, and all the other times he’d done naughty things to me.