Loose Ends

by Kristen Ashley

  “You’re not talkin’ to them,” he growled.

  “Because you’re doing it yourself?” she asked.

  “No,” he bit.

  “And what? What, D? You’re gonna leave Maddox and Molly because your father and brother are bigots?”

  “Like I’ve been sayin’, right now, I can’t talk about—”

  “You can’t do that. You can’t leave them.”

  “They got each other and if they want, they can find someone else who they don’t have to deal with his bullshit.”

  He said it and it only made him feel sicker.

  Her tone had changed entirely, gone gentle, soft, when she said, “Honey, they don’t want anybody else.”

  “It’s more than just Dad and Gunner,” he told her.

  “Tell me the more,” she urged.

  “I don’t got time and I don’t got the headspace right now. I’m in the middle of something.”

  “This is important, Diesel.”

  And that was when he lost it.

  Yup.

  On his baby sister.

  “You think I don’t know that?” he barked.

  She was silent.

  He drew in a big breath.

  Another one.

  He scanned everything with his eyes.

  He blew out one last breath into the silence Rebel let fall before he said soft, “That was outta line.”

  “I need to come down and have some quality time with my big brother,” she replied.

  He shook his head even if she couldn’t see. “I gotta sort out my head on my own.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s just how I gotta do it, Reb.”

  “I know.” That was a whisper.

  A whisper even over the phone line he could hear was full of sadness.

  Even anguish.

  And D felt even sicker.

  But Rebel?

  Rebel didn’t keep him guessing what was behind it.

  “Because you are who you are. You’ve always been who you are. And they’ve always been who they are. So you felt like you had to hide. You felt like you had to go it alone, even surrounded by people, people who love you or who are meant to love you. You never felt safe to reach out. And I want you to feel safe to reach out but you’re conditioned to go it alone for fear of what might happen if you open up and let the truth out. You have Maddox and Molly and me and we all love you. We want you to feel loved. Feel safe. Feel able to share anything with us. But I get it, D. I hate it. But I get it.”

  Diesel was suddenly breathing heavily, like he was bench pressing above his weight, but instead he was putting everything he had into listening to every word his sister said and watching everything around him so he didn’t let Sixx down.

  He shouldn’t have taken the call.

  Too late now.

  “And you care what they think of you,” she carried on. “I get that too. That’s what sons do. That’s what little brothers do. You look up to them. Whether they deserve it or not, it’s the way it is. And you want them to respect you. And you know they won’t when they learn and you haven’t gotten to that place where you realize they don’t matter and that’s precisely the reason why they don’t. They don’t deserve your respect for precisely the reason they’ll retract theirs.”

  “Baby doll,” he whispered.

  “But listen to me,” she said fiercely. “Please, God, Diesel, listen to me. When you find that one, that one who’s the one, it means everything. Everything, Diesel. But you didn’t find the one. You found the ones. That means you’re in the unique position to have more than everything. More. Than. Everything. There isn’t more than everything. But you . . . Diesel, you have that. Don’t let that go, big brother. It’s so precious, it’s unspeakably precious. It’s so rare, it’s nonexistent, except for lucky people. People who deserve it. People like you. So, please, God, do not let that go.”

  She barely finished her last word when his phone binged with a text.

  He looked at it.

  Maddox.

  All good?

  “Mad is texting, Reb. I gotta go,” he said to his sister.

  “Right,” she replied quietly.

  “Love you, babe.”

  “Growing up in that house, it was only you, Diesel.”

  He shut his eyes.

  “We were so out of place,” she kept at him, “it felt there wasn’t a place on this earth for us. Until I found my place, until you found your place, I only had you.”

  And he’d only had her.

  And Tommy.

  He opened his eyes and scanned, murmuring, “Baby doll.”

  “I want you to have everything, D. So it goes without saying, if you can lay your hands on even more, I want you to have that too.”

  Diesel didn’t reply.

  Rebel didn’t remain silent.

  “Love you, big brother.”

  “Thanks for warning me about Mom’s call.”

  “Always.”

  That was all there was and that was Rebel. When she was done, she was done.

  And she was done.

  He heard her disconnect.

  Then he ran his thumb over the phone.

  Transmitters. Earbuds. Cameras. Sixx is the shit. So you aren’t getting a turn, he texted to Maddox, putting the conversation with his sister in the back of his head.

  It felt like seconds before he got back, Right, bud. Have fun. Stay safe. Tell Sixx hey. We’re hitting the sack in a few.

  They’d probably fuck. They didn’t do it before he left. He didn’t do it with either of them before either. And a day never went by when at least some of that action didn’t happen.

  He also hadn’t made good on his promise to do Maddox the night before.

  And Maddox hadn’t pushed it.

  Christ.

  Will do. Later, Diesel replied then threw the phone on the seat by the laptop, swallowed the sick feeling still in his gut, did a scan, and engaged the transmitter.

  “Still good?” he asked Sixx.

  “No Japanese sex anime,” Sixx replied.

  He read that as her not finding what she was looking for.

  “So, not good,” he surmised.

  “I’m taking a deep dive. Can you give me another half an hour?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Thanks, D.”

  He left her alone to focus as he focused.

  Surprisingly, even though he suspected it would, the boredom never crept in. It was a Thursday night but people were out and about, getting home for the evening, driving in, walking up, strolling down the halls. There was so much happening, even as more time passed, there was no way not to stay alert.

  Half an hour later, Sixx said in his earbud, “I need another ten.”

  “You got it,” he replied.

  Though she didn’t.

  Five minutes later, the dude’s car drove in.

  He put the transmitter to his mouth. “Man’s home. Just drove in. Get out.”

  “Roger that,” she said.

  Roger that.

  Feeling heavy from just about everything, but most recently his chat with his sister, that still made him smile because this gig was the shit.

  He gave her some time to focus and then he gave her a blow by blow.

  “He’s not to the garage door yet and your hallway is clear.” He waited. “He hit the garage door and he’s through. Hallway still clear.”

  He waited and saw her come out of the apartment.

  She locked the door, boogied down the hall, reached up and grabbed the camera she’d mounted.

  Static on that box on the screen.

  He caught her in the elevator, looking right at their guy who was coming out going up as she was getting in to go down.

  She nodded to him.

  The guy nodded back having no clue the stranger he’d just nodded to spent the last hour plus in his pad.

  “Totally the shit,” he muttered.

  She grabbed camera three (elevator), camera two
(garage) and camera one (lobby) and she was out, hoofing it to D’s truck, all while D put the binocs in their case and zipped the transmitter in its. After the lobby camera went out, he powered down the laptop, slapped it shut, wound up the cable neat and had it all ready for her as she climbed in.

  She took the stuff after she shut the door. When she stowed it in its bag, he gave her his earbud.

  But he didn’t want to.

  James Bond never had a kickass pickup.

  But Diesel rocked that shit.

  He turned to the wheel and started her up in order to drive Sixx to where they’d left her car.

  “Get what you need?” he asked.

  “Nope.”

  He tried to keep the hopeful out of his, “You need to go back?” And that hope was not all about another potential five hundred bucks.

  “I had lots of time in there, D. This guy is not a mastermind and thus able to hide his shit. He’s an average Joe. So average, it’s a wonder his vanilla self didn’t blend into the background so he was invisible as I walked by him getting off the elevator. His ex is going to have to get creative about reasons to take him to the cleaners with this divorce. The man doesn’t even have condoms in the house . . . anywhere.”

  What newly single dude didn’t have condoms?

  Anywhere?

  Jesus.

  “Bummer,” D muttered, pulling into the road.

  “You win some, you lose some,” Sixx replied, like it was all the same to her.

  Then again, it was. She got paid either way.

  D had too. He had five crisp one hundred dollar bills in his wallet.

  Another bit of goodness about the woman, Sixx paid in advance.

  “Just to say, you got other gigs you need eyes or anything, you know my number,” he told her.

  “Glad to hear that since my usual backup is pregnant and she’s about to go offline at her husband’s decree. He’s in the family business, I work with him too, but they have their own jobs so going solo makes his time tight. You got good instincts. Thanks for the rundown when he was coming in, by the way. So yes. It isn’t regular I need an assist, but it happens and that’s not rare. So I’ll be taking you up on that.”

  Brilliant.

  “Be obliged you teach me how to pick a lock,” he shared.

  “Then we’ll add some field trips on our schedule,” she replied immediately.

  Stellar.

  “Bored with the day job?” Sixx asked.

  He worked road construction.

  It didn’t suck.

  But there were no transmitters.

  “Just good with the absence of neon orange vests but the presence of a shitload of cash for doin’ practically nothing in my wallet,” he told her.

  “Practically nothing to you is peace of mind allowing focus for me, D,” she replied. “That’s worth more than five bills, but I don’t think I’d get away with any more on my expense account.”

  “You get a golden goose, definitely hit my number.”

  She laughed and he let himself grin at the windshield.

  He dropped her at her car and she stood in the open door saying, “Tell Molly and Maddox I said hello and we’ll find a time for that dinner party soon, D.”

  “They say hey back and yeah. Look forward to that,” he replied.

  She didn’t move from the door. Just stood there, looking through the cab at him.

  And then, proving the goodness never ended with Sixx, she said quietly, “You can hit my number anytime too, D. I’m always there for you at the other end of the line.”

  She didn’t back that up with shit, getting in his face about knowing something was bugging him, pushing him to share.

  She just dipped her chin, stepped out of the door, closed it and strolled on her long legs to her Cayenne.

  He watched her swing in and didn’t start moving until he saw her headlights go on.

  Since they were both headed east, she followed him down Camelback but turned left on 44th to head to Paradise Valley while he turned right on it to skirt Arcadia and head to the area that didn’t have nineteen hundred square foot houses that cost eight hundred grand.

  D parked beside Maddox’s truck, hauled his ass out, beeped his locks and let himself in the house.

  He was not surprised the little lamp on the table by the door was lit.

  That would be Molly.

  He dumped his keys in the bowl and turned the lamp off.

  He was also not surprised the under cupboard lights in the kitchen were lit.

  That would be Maddox.

  He flipped those off before heading to bed.

  The hall was dark. The back bedroom door open, the room beyond it dark.

  He hit it and saw through the moonlight Molly cozied up to Maddox’s side, both on their stomachs. The covers were up to her shoulders because the AC was cranked down, even at night, ceiling fan on. The fan was white noise they all needed, but also breeze and AC that Mad needed since his body ran hot in sleep which was why the covers were up to Mol’s shoulders, but only up to his middle back.

  Neither moved as he came in but he saw Molly was wearing a nightie which meant Maddox hadn’t fucked her before they fell asleep. If he had, she’d be naked. Her choice, before-sleep fucks meant she stayed in bed, her men cleaned her up and then she passed out.

  So there’d been no fucking.

  That was interesting.

  D moved to the walk-in and dumped his boots and clothes in the dark.

  As he walked back out into their room, naked, he had a strange urge to walk right out, go to their guestroom and sleep there.

  Leave them be.

  By force of habit, his feet took him to his side of the bed.

  He hadn’t even reached to the covers when he saw Maddox’s head and shoulders come up, turned his way.

  “Good?” he whispered.

  “Yeah, buddy,” D whispered back, carefully pulling back the covers to slide in.

  He was in on his back in bed and still, Maddox hadn’t lowered down.

  The moonlight was shining in the windows, silvering the room.

  Through it, they held each other’s eyes.

  And fuck, even in the dark, the man was beautiful.

  His harsh face smoothed out in the shadows, he wasn’t more beautiful, just a different variety.

  D’s cock pulsed as it started to get hard.

  He shifted to his side, toward Maddox, and Molly moved, turning her head slowly his way.

  “D?” she muttered groggily.

  “Go back to sleep, baby,” D murmured.

  “Mm,” she hummed, all drowsy, reaching out with limbs to tangle him up with them.

  “No, sweetheart,” D said, his eyes still locked on Maddox. “Mad and me are gonna go to the other room.”

  At his words, the air in that room got thick and warm.

  Molly’s head came up.

  Then her body moved, coming his way, sliding over his.

  He didn’t hesitate and slid under her, knowing she didn’t just grant permission.

  In her way she gave an order.

  Her men were gonna do what they were going to do, but in doing it, they weren’t going anywhere.

  “D,” Maddox whispered.

  Diesel wrapped his fingers at the back of his man’s neck and shoved his still lifted head down.

  Then he moved in. Shifting his hand, D bared his teeth and scored the skin of Mad’s neck, down, over the contours of muscle on his shoulder blade, down, along his spine, down, he took a bite at the right cheek of his ass.

  Maddox growled.

  D’s dick, already hard, twitched.

  “Spread,” he grunted.

  Maddox opened his legs.

  And D’s dick thumped.

  Diesel shifted in and moved his mouth to the small of Maddox’s back, reaching between his legs.

  He wrapped his fingers around that monster and stroked up the long, rock-solid length, hard.

  “Fuck,” Maddox groaned,
his body tensing everywhere as Diesel started on a handjob against the mattress, gliding his lips to just above the top of Mad’s crease, a place his man was exceptionally sensitive, where he licked and then sucked. “Fuck,” Maddox bit out, starting to move his hips to ride D’s fist.

  D drew on his flesh, moved his mouth, nibbled his ass cheeks, stroked his cock, then shifted away. Fisting back to the root, he tightened, lifting up.

  Mad came up on his knees.

  Molly emitted a little moan, and it was no wonder.

  Maddox on his knees was a thing of beauty.

  D’s cock started throbbing.

  Maddox began to come up on his hands but Diesel reached out his free hand and bent over him, his cock brushing Maddox’s ass, making D shiver, Mad’s body jump. He wrapped his fingers around the back of Maddox’s neck and pushed.

  “Down,” he ordered.

  Maddox went down, ass still in the air.

  “Stay down,” D commanded.

  Maddox didn’t move.

  His hand between Mad’s legs, Diesel recommenced stroking.

  The weight was heavy, as always, hot to the touch, also as always, those veins popping out so dense, D could trace them even with a closed fist.

  Lost in the feel of his man’s meat, the sight in front of his eyes, he rumbled, “Fuck me, love this cock,” tightening his hold around the thick, long length.

  Maddox said nothing but his body tensed further as it started trembling.

  D went in with some ball massage.

  In response, Maddox flexed his feet, digging his toes into the bed as a low, ragged noise rolled up his chest, that noise skating along D’s dick.

  Christ, his man.

  Fuck.

  Diesel let Mad’s balls go, palmed his ass and shoved a thumb inside.

  Mad bit back his grunt.

  “Love this ass,” he muttered, fucking him with his thumb.

  Maddox couldn’t tense enough to hold back the trembling any longer, or his movements. He took the thumb, fucking D’s fist.

  “Yeah, show me you like it,” Diesel encouraged, watching the show having to brace himself to hold back from positioning and powering inside just to give his cock what it needed, give himself what he needed.

  Maddox went faster, reaching out his hands to push against the headboard, his back muscles shifting and contracting with the movement.

  Nice.

  “Yeah, brother,” Diesel whispered.

  “More,” Maddox whispered back.

  D removed his thumb, drove in two fingers, watching Maddox’s head as he did, enjoying as it jerked back.