Free Flesh: A Romance Novel

by Daya Daniels

  Gingerly, I take the white fluffy robe from his hands and look up at him puzzled.

  “I thought it’d be nice for you.” He cups my cheek with his hand.

  “It is. Thank you.” I stand, let the towel fall to the floor around my ankles, and slip into the robe. The feeling of it against my damp skin is sensational. I sit back down and look around.

  Everything in this place just feels otherworldly. It smells of vanilla mixed in with the lingering scent of varnish that still wafts through the house from the restoration.

  Austen did a good job of making it a home for him and Brandon. The décor in here is professionally done in creams and whites accented by dark wood furniture. The windows are large and all the doors look like they’re made of reclaimed wood. The bed I’m sitting on is covered in plush white linens and a thick comforter on top of it.

  The fireplace across the room adds a romantic touch in here and the bay window across the room allows a beautiful view out to the private beach. This place is amazing. It’s far from the bachelor pad feeling of the cottage Austen was previously in, although it was cozy there too. This house has a French-style feel to it mixed in with a lot of country accents.

  Austen pads over to the walk-in closet and pulls open a few drawers, finding a pair of pants. The right side of the closet is lined with a few clothes on hangers and the left side is bare.

  I know this man says he loves me, but I know eventually he’s going to want to fill that left side with someone else’s clothes—they just won’t be mine.

  Austen puts on a pair of lounge pants and heads back over toward me.

  He drops to his knees in front of me and presses his forehead to mine, just looking at me. I’m hypnotized, under his spell. Then, he smiles. We both giggle even though I know his smile is a little sad, and so is mine.

  He reaches out a shaky hand and opens the drawer in the nightstand without breaking his gaze and takes out a box. I look down at it. His other hand slides up the back of my neck as he kisses my forehead. “I bought you something.”

  Smiling, my insides flutter with a little excitement. I haven’t had a romantic gift in a long time, even though the boys still buy me flowers on Mother’s Day and chocolate at Christmas.

  I use my thumb to flick open the tiny box and gasp.

  Austen’s eyes flash. “Before you go panicking…” He exhales. “I couldn’t help myself. And I know you can’t wear it. I know you can’t take it. So, you’ll leave it here in this house.”

  “Austen.” My face scrunches. “I can’t give you this.”

  He holds my face by the sides. “Callie, I know. I know. I know.”

  “I can’t.” My eyes well up with tears at the sight of the diamond eternity band in the tiny box. “I can’t.”

  He nods a few times. “It’s yours. It’ll always be yours.”

  “Austen, I-I know you want all or nothing.”

  “Please just listen to me,” he whispers.

  I take deep breaths.

  He presses a kiss to my lips. “I don’t, Callie. I don’t want all or nothing. I just want what you can give me.”

  I open my mouth to speak and he kisses me again. “If you can only give me half, then I’ll take half.” He frowns. “If that’s all you can ever give me, I’ll take it...because it means more to me than losing you completely.”

  “I love him, Austen.”

  “I know.” He presses his lips to mine and mumbles, “I know. I understand.”

  I stare at the ring again. And it’s beautiful. It’s absolutely stunning. But I don’t deserve it.

  “I don’t deserve this,” I sob. “I can’t give you what you need, Austen.”

  “You can. You can, and you have. In fact, you’ve given me more than I thought I ever deserved.” He smiles.

  “I won’t leave him.” I shake my head.

  He nods slowly a few times. “I know. And I don’t expect you to.”

  We stare at each other for a while and I see so much love in this man’s eyes for me.

  “I love the way you love, Callie. And I’d want one day for you to love me like that too.”

  My cheeks are wet with my tears.

  “Just like that.” He chuckles. “Whenever I look at you, I see hope. I always have,” he whispers. “I think that’s what everyone sees when they look at you.”

  “I don’t know why, Austen. Honestly, sometimes I think I just can’t take any more of everything.”

  He presses the tip of his nose into mine. “You’re forgetting the forty percent rule.”

  I laugh, surprised he knows about it.

  “You know about the forty percent rule?” I scrunch my nose.

  “Of course. Brandon talks about it all the time.”

  We both laugh.

  “I’m a mess, Austen.”

  “You aren’t. If you’re a mess, then I am too.” He gives me a penetrating stare with those beautiful eyes of his. “I need you.”

  Smiling, I kiss him on the lips. “You don’t, Austen. Look at everything you’ve done since you’ve been here. That’s been all you—your effort—your work to reach your goals.”

  He drops his head. “But I’ve been doing everything not just for myself, Callie. I’ve been doing it for Brandon. And for you too.”

  “Austen,” I whisper.

  “It’s true.” He laughs. “I just wanted to prove them all wrong”

  “And you have.” I cup his cheek, feeling the soft hairs of his beard, stroking it a few times. “You’ve done everything you said you would and more. You’re a good father, Austen.”

  He frowns and looks away from me. “Callie—”

  “You are.”

  He exhales loudly, then snaps the box shut and places it on the nightstand. He shoves his fingers into my hair, putting his lips close to mine, holding me to his chest. “I love you, Callie. I love you so much.”

  “I love you, Austen,” I murmur into his skin, placing my palm on his chest.

  “I know you do.”

  “I need you.”

  “I need you more,” he says. “And I’ll do anything to keep you. And I’ll wait for however long it takes for me to have you. I promise you that, even if it means never.”

  “Austen,” I whisper, never feeling so much love for him than I do right now. I never thought he’d understand. I always felt that eventually he’d leave me because I couldn’t give him everything he deserved, and here he is offering me up his heart forever even if it’s in vain. “How are you?” I ask him. “Really?”

  We spend so much time fighting, fucking, then being apart that I rarely get to ask Austen about everything going on in his life. And ever since I came here this evening, I can sense his mood is not one of his better ones. He seems deep in thought and a little miserable.

  “I’m okay, Callie.” He kisses my lips again and pulls back the covers, encouraging me to slide under them.

  I watch his expression carefully and I’m sure of one thing in this moment, and it’s that I don’t fucking believe him.

  Callie

  I HADN’T SLEPT FOR LONG, only an hour or so, but it was good enough.

  Austen lingers at the doorway and kisses me.

  “I have to go,” I tell him.

  He frowns and kisses me again.

  I pull away from him. “I have to go.”

  He uses his big body to pin me against the wall and plants a harsh kiss to my lips. With a giggle, I wriggle away from him, gripping the latch to the front door. He growls as I yank it open.

  It’s already dark outside and the night sky is clear and full of twinkling stars.

  “I have to go, Austen.” I laugh when he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me harshly, stealing my breath away nibbling on my lips, pressing his hard dick into my stomach.

  Then, he lets go.

  I back away. “I’ll see you later.”

  He smirks.

  I take one last look at his bare chest as I back away across the outdoor deck. When I
spin around, I nearly scream.

  “I fucking knew it!” Raine shouts, marching toward me. “I knew it!” She eyes me up and down, pointing a finger at me. “You’re disgusting.”

  “What are you—What the fuck—Are you stalking him?” I ask her, looking around.

  Raine laughs. “You’re cheating on your fucking disabled husband. I always knew you were desperate, Callie, but this,” she hisses.

  “What the fuck is going on? Don’t speak to her like that. You must be out of your fucking mind, Raine!” Austen shouts, marching toward us, still barefoot and shirtless. “What the fuck are you even doing here?” He narrows his eyes, stepping closer to Raine, getting between us. “Where is Brandon?” His tone is brusque as he looks around. I spot Raine’s car a far distance away from the house.

  Raine steps away and holds up her cell phone. I snatch it out of her hand and bust it on the ground as she screeches. I stomp on it just to make sure I’ve completely murdered it like I’d like to do to her right now.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” she shouts at me, her arm still extended for her now broken phone. “You think that’s going to stop me from telling everyone about this, including Principal Sayers?”

  I heave for breath as my eyes mist over.

  “This is who you’re fucking, Austen! A married woman. A woman who cheats on a fucking disabled man. Thisss,” she says in disbelief as if I’m shit.

  “This is none of your business, Raine.”

  Raine gives Austen a glare.

  “This is because I didn’t want to fuck you, Raine. That’s all it is. And you know it.”

  Raine stares at the ground for a beat then at Austen.

  I run a hand through my hair as I break out into a cold sweat. “She’s been here before, Austen,” I say in a tiny voice.

  “Callie, whattt—Why didn’t you tell me?” His top lip curls up as he jerks his head back to look at Raine, who only glares at me. “So, this is how we’re doing it then?” He gets in her face.

  Raine tips her head back to look up at him. “Yeah, this is how.”

  “You know, I always knew you were fucking insane, but if you think I’m going to let you do this, you’re crazier than your psych doctors give you credit for.”

  Raine balks a little then her spine stiffens again.

  “You utter one word about this and I’ll tell everyone that Brandon isn’t mine,” Austen growls.

  What!

  Raine’s eyes widen as Austen steps closer to her.

  “That isn’t—That isn’t—Austen—” Raine stutters out.

  “That isn’t what?” he asks softly, his jaw tight. And for a moment, I’m terrified he might even take her out when I sense the fury that licks off his aggressive posture. He laughs, but I can tell he’s still pissed as he waits for her to speak.

  I fold my arms across my stomach, unable to believe this is all happening.

  “Yeah, I had a DNA test done. And guess what came back, Raine?” He chuckles, giving her a dirty look. “They told me he isn’t mine—a ninety-nine point nine nine nine nine chance that he isn’t mine. Imagine my surprise.” Austen’s eyes well up with tears.

  “Austen—” Raine starts, but she’s speechless and suddenly her gaze lands on me as if she expects me to save her.

  What am I supposed to say?

  “You people around here have spent years trashing me for everything under the sun and especially for how poorly I handled Brandon being mine.” He shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut for a split second and opens them again. “But you knew from the very beginning that he wasn’t.”

  Raine sucks in a harsh breath of air and starts to cry. “Yes, but—”

  “I came back to this place for Brandon—to start my life over. To build a life with my son. And he’s someone else’s kid.” His voice becomes high-pitched.

  Raine heaves for breath.

  The closer Austen marches toward her the more she backs away.

  Austen’s eyes are narrowed and his jaw is tight. “You’d rather blame me for your mishap than tarnish your own reputation for being a slut and smear the golden boy reputation of Greg Mattock.”

  Huh?

  I stand there looking between the two of them as if I’m watching a tennis match. My gaze switches left then right, right then left.

  Raine is full-on sobbing.

  “Because that’s who else you were fucking way back then, isn’t it?” Austen questions, bobbing his head angrily.

  Raine nods.

  “A married man.” He smirks. “Yet, here you are pointing the finger at Callie and me. How ironic?”

  “What is going on?” I murmur to myself.

  “Austen, you don’t understand!” Raine yells. “I couldn’t tell anyone the truth. He begged me not to because of Ivy. And because of his reputation. My parents...” Raine goes on.

  Austen stares at the ground, shakes his head, and laughs to himself. “So, that fucker knows, huh... Isn’t that somethin’. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but even that clearly isn’t deserved.”

  “Are you going to tell Brandon?” She puts her hands together in prayer and pleads.

  “I’ll let you figure that out, Raine. But right now, I’m still trying to process everything. I love that little boy. I love him. And for a long time, I knew he was the only person left who loved me.” Austen makes eye contact with me, his eyes glossed over and angry.

  “Please don’t tell him, Austen. Don’t tell anyone.” Raine looks between Austen and me. “This was never supposed to go this way.”

  Austen shakes his head in disbelief. “You people...”

  “You’re going to tell them anyways, aren’t you, Austen?” Raine backs away from both of us as tears stream down her face.

  “No, Raine, I won’t tell anyone anything. But you need to get off my property now,” Austen barks.

  Raine’s backward walk falters until she spins around and dashes to her car like a real nutter. Her long orange hair whips around like flames as it flows behind her.

  Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

  Austen rushes to me and places his hands on my shoulders. “Don’t do anything crazy, Callie. She’s just upset. She’ll calm down. I promise you.”

  “What is she going to do?” I ask, panicked. “Where is she going?”

  “Nothing. She isn’t going to do anything. She isn’t going anywhere.”

  Sure as hell looks like she is...

  Everything flashes before my eyes and suddenly I really feel like I’m about to vomit.

  Austen’s warm hands touch my ears, then my cheeks, then my neck. “Callie,” he whispers, but I barely hear him. “She won’t tell anyone. Greg will never confess to sleeping with her. He’ll never own up to having a child outside of his marriage. Just like how my father, his father, never claimed me. Raine knows she has no choice but to stay quiet about everything if she wants what’s best for Brandon.”

  “Okay,” I say, almost robotically.

  “Callie, please listen.”

  “Ivy is fucking my son,” I blurt out.

  “Whattt?” Austen quips.

  “Yeah.” I force a laugh, wiping the wetness from my cheeks.

  Austen cups my face with his palm. “I figured she was fucking someone else, but a kid?” His face twists in confusion. “Did you confront her?”

  I shake my head from side to side. “I’ve been avoiding her for days now.”

  “I know you’ve known them your entire life, Callie, but there’s so much you don’t know about them. Their marriage isn’t perfect, Callie. It never has been.” Austen pulls me against his chest in a fierce hug. I wrap my arms around his waist, melting against his warmth, desperately needing someone to steady me before I fall.

  Raine knows I’ve been having an affair with this man...

  The secret is out. I’m exposed, naked to the chance that she’ll talk.

  I’m in a daze. I didn’t think this would happen. From the moment I met Austen Lennox I worried thi
s would happen. I had no plan for if it did.

  But it was inevitable, wasn’t it?

  Silly me.

  How could I not have seen this coming?

  I would have never been able to hide this forever. Someone would’ve figured it out. One of us would’ve slipped up.

  I cover my face with my hands. I’m on the verge of becoming hysterical.

  “Callie,” he repeats.

  “Yes,” I say, moving my hands up, my fingers curling around his thick wrists.

  He kisses my lips. “I love you, okay? No matter what happens, I love you. I’ll always be here for you.”

  “I’m sorry about Brandon,” I tell him.

  He shrugs and doesn’t speak.

  “I’m really, really sorry.”

  He squeezes his eyes shut. “He’ll always be my son, Callie.”

  I nod frantically. “I love you, Austen, I do. But I have to go.”

  This is the one thing about secrets. Eventually, they consume you.

  You keep secrets then you must tell lies to cover up the secrets. And soon you don’t know the lies from the truth anymore because the lies are easier to live with, the lies sound much better than the truth. The truth is too raw—too real. And it leaves only devastation in its path like a vicious tsunami, washing trust and confidence away with it once it’s murdered everything else.

  I’m sweating and the hot night air isn’t helping. It’s difficult to breathe. My pulse pounds in my throat and my skin prickles everywhere with fear, spine-shattering fear. The overwhelming sensation that my life as I know it is about to end. “I have to go.” Frantically, I search my pockets for my keys. When I finally get them, I rush to my truck.

  “Callie, I love you,” he says firmly, before I start the engine and drive off.

  And with everything that’s just happened, I’m reminded that stories like ours never end well. They just don’t.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Callie

  THE STREETS AROUND HERE tonight are lined with cars and people walking along the sidewalks holding flags and glow sticks, headed toward the beach.

  I slow down and park the truck in front of the garage. Letting out a loud exhale, I press my forehead to the middle of the steering wheel.