The Nanny's Christmas Wish

by Ami Weaver

  All the sparkly hormones ignited by his nearness curled up and died in the aftermath of his words. Now she felt the evening’s cold, and a darker chill deep inside. She forced the words out through wooden lips. “It’s okay, Josh. There’s no apology needed.” On the contrary, she should thank him. He’d given her the dose of reality she needed. How quickly she forgot who she was. She stepped around him and headed for the house.

  He followed silently. Casting around for something to say, she asked, “How did the game go?”

  He slid the key into the lock and opened the door. “Not my best night.”

  When he didn’t say more, Maggie slid off her boots and coat. “Sorry to hear that. Well, I’m going to take a shower and see if I can get this wallpaper paste off me and out of my hair.” She turned, intending a bright smile, but unable to summon it. “See you in the morning.”

  Josh’s gaze darkened for a moment. “Have a nice shower.”

  His voice was low, a little rough. And his eyes were hot, hot enough to make Maggie nearly choke. “I will, thanks.” She turned and sped up the stairs before she did something truly stupid.

  Like invite him to wash her hair.

  * * *

  The next morning, Maggie stared in the fridge and her heart sank.

  Right there, front and center next to the milk, sat the small cooler Josh used for his lunch.

  Somehow, he’d left without it. That meant a trip to the office to drop it off. He could just fend for himself. Maggie sighed, pulled the cooler out and closed the fridge. Of course he could. But that wasn’t fair, just because things were weird between them, to not help him out. She was a big girl. She and Cody could just drop it off. In, out and back home. Easy.

  She walked to the bottom of the stairs. “Cody! Come get your shoes on,” she called. Josh’s nurse had dropped him off on her way to work a little while ago.

  “Okay!” he yelled back, thumping out of his room and hitting the stairs in the full slide that made her heart stop. “Where we goin’?”

  Maggie pointed to the cooler on the counter. “We’re going to your dad’s office. He forgot his lunch.”

  “Cool.” Cody ground his feet into his light-up Thomas the Tank Engine sneakers and shrugged into his jacket. She opened the door to the garage and they trooped out to her car.

  Maggie handed the cooler to Cody after she buckled him in. “Can you hang on to this while I drive?”

  Cody nodded solemnly. “I won’t let it fall,” he said.

  Maggie smiled. “I know you won’t. Okay, let’s hit the road.”

  Cody held the cooler on his lap while Maggie drove the short distance to the outskirts of town, where Josh’s practice was located. The parking lot held several cars, and Maggie realized she didn’t actually know how many people worked at the clinic. In the time she’d worked for Josh, she’d never been here.

  Pushing through the doors, they entered a bright reception area, currently decorated in a fall theme with mums and pumpkins. An older woman in bright pink scrubs sitting behind a high counter looked up as they approached. “Can I help you?” she asked, her tone friendly.

  Maggie rested her hand on Cody’s back. “We’re here to see Dr. Tanner.”

  “Okay. When is your appointment?” the woman asked, already reaching for the pile of files nearby.

  “I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. I’ve got Cody Tanner here. I’m his nanny.”

  The woman stood up and peered over the counter. “Why, Mr. Cody Tanner! How nice to see you, young man. And you must be Maggie,” she added, extending her hand over the counter. “I’m Teresa. You two can come on back and wait in his office.”

  Maggie opened her mouth to refuse but Cody was already walking toward the door, cooler banging on his leg. “Okay. As long as it’s no trouble.”

  Teresa gave Maggie a quick, assessing glance. “Oh, it’s no trouble, young lady. None at all. He’ll be happy to see you.” The last was directed at Cody, who launched into a description of a video game he’d played at JT’s last night.

  Maggie tamped down her nerves as they followed Teresa though the bustle and maze of short hallways, past several doors.

  “His is the third door on the right,” Teresa said. “Cody, stop by on the way out. I might have a treat for you.”

  “All right!” Cody boomed and Maggie had to smile.

  “Cody!” A young woman with dark hair and a dazzling smile turned from the nurses’ station before they could pass and bent to give him a quick hug. Maggie recognized her as the woman who’d dropped Cody off that morning. They’d exchanged waves but no actual words. “Good morning again. Here to see your daddy?”

  “Daddy forgotted his lunch.” Cody held up the cooler. “So me an’ Maggie brought it to him.”

  “Oh.” The speculation in the drawn-out word was nearly enough to send Maggie back to the car. She met the other woman’s gaze squarely and the smile got even wider. “It’s about time I got to officially meet you. I’m Marta. Josh is my husband’s best friend.”

  Maggie returned the smile. “Nice to meet you. Josh has mentioned you and your family several times.” Then she nearly winced. Her words implied a familiar relationship, not a professional one.

  The curiosity in Marta’s dark eyes was rampant, but she said nothing as she took a few more steps and opened a door. “Josh’s office. I’m sure Teresa told him you’re here. Code, I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you later, ‘kay?” To Maggie she offered a quick smile. “Nice to meet you.” Then she hurried off, paperwork in hand.

  Cody ran across the room and sat in his dad’s swivel chair, swinging his legs, the cooler on the floor next to him. Maggie moved over to stand behind him and studied the pictures on the desk.

  Cody, Ellen with Cody, Josh with Cody. No hint, of course, of Lucy. Frustration welled inside her. Why were there no pictures of Cody’s mother? Had things been so bad Josh felt he had to wipe her out of his life? Or were the memories too painful to bear? After their conversation the other day, she leaned toward the latter.

  The door opened and Josh stood framed in the doorway, his tie slightly askew, like he’d been tugging on the knot. Come to think of it, had she ever seen him with a perfectly straight tie?

  “Hey, guys,” he said, the warmth of his smile fading slightly as he included her. It stung, even though she knew it was for the best. “What brings you here?”

  Cody slid off the chair and skipped to his father. He wrapped his arms around Josh’s legs. “We brought you lunch, Daddy! You forgotted it.”

  Josh shook his head. “I did, didn’t I?”

  Cody nodded. “Good thing Maggie looked in the ‘frigerator. She saw it and now we’re here!”

  Josh rubbed his hand across Cody’s curls. His gaze caught Maggie’s for a second and she held her breath. “Yes, you are. Thank you.”

  Maggie looked away, focused on the diplomas on the wall. He’d graduated from Michigan State University, same as she had. “It was nothing.” The office was small and he seemed to take up all the oxygen, making it hard for her to breathe.

  Had he spent a sleepless, restless night the way she had? Had he been hyperaware of her, just a few feet away, walls and door notwithstanding, the way she’d been of him? She didn’t think she could handle the answer.

  “Well, we’ll get out of your hair,” Maggie said too brightly. “Glad we got here in time. Ready, Cody?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got patients. Trying to stay on schedule.” He bent and pulled his son into a hug, and when her heart squeezed, Maggie wondered if she’d ever be unaffected by the sight. “Code, why don’t you go back up to Teresa, and ask her for a sucker? If Maggie says it’s okay, you can even have it before lunch.” He looked up at Maggie and she nodded, startled he’d included her.

  Cody swung his gaze to Maggie and she smiled. “Of course.”

  “Yes!” Cody pumped his fist as he hurried out the door.

  “I’d better go with him.” She started to follow but he caught her
hand. She jumped and tried to ignore the licks of heat his touch sent through her.

  He looked like he was going to say something but shook his head instead. She pulled her hand away and he let it go, but neither one of them took a step back. It seemed every time this happened, it got harder to move away. How long would it be this way? When would it settle back down? Could it settle? The questions unnerved her because the answers weren’t simple.

  A crash in the hallway, followed by a much-too-close laugh, sent Maggie hopping backward, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs from her brain. Where did her brain go when she got close to Josh? They were in a public place with the door half-open. People were drawing quick, gleeful conclusions as it was.

  She needed to get out of here pronto. “Well. I’m sure we’ve taken up enough of your time. I just wanted to make sure you had your lunch. I’ll, um, go get Cody and get him out of Teresa’s hair.”

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’ll be up there in a second.”

  Maggie made her escape and slipped through the confusion of hallways—why did all doctor’s offices seem to be laid out in an indecipherable way?—and finally found Cody on an extra chair next to Teresa. When he saw her he gave her a big grin and held up three suckers.

  “Look, Maggie! These are for later,” he explained and Teresa sent him a fond look.

  “You have to ask first, remember,” she reminded him. “Are you on your way out?” she asked Maggie.

  “In a minute. I think Josh is coming up here to say bye to Cody.” So she was trapped here a little longer.

  “Josh is a good man,” Teresa said, not quite casually.

  Uh-oh. “Yes, he is,” Maggie replied. Could the floor please open up now and swallow her before this went any further?

  Teresa tipped her head toward Cody, who was showing his windfall to another nurse. “He needs a good woman. So does Cody.”

  Maggie’s cheeks grew hot and she resisted the urge to run. “Of course they do. I’m sure he’ll find someone perfect.” The words jammed up in her throat.

  Teresa eyed her for a moment. “Well, it was real nice to meet you,” she said. “Come back and visit us, okay? We all love to see Cody.”

  “I’m sure they will,” Josh said from somewhere behind her and Maggie’s traitorous pulse flared. She hoped Teresa didn’t notice her pink face and ask any questions.

  What would she say?

  * * *

  Later that afternoon, Maggie put away the lunch dishes. Cody was coloring at the table. “Hey, Code. It’s almost time for your swimming lesson.”

  “Oh, yeah!” Cody abandoned the crayons and ran upstairs, presumably in search of his bathing suit and towel. The lessons had been her idea, something that got him out of the house for a little bit and interacting with other kids. In the winter he’d start preschool.

  It was a short drive to the local YMCA. Cody changed quickly in a family locker room and they walked through to the pool area together. There were ten other kids there, and the instructor was a young man who couldn’t be that far out of high school. Cody walked to the pool and Maggie sat in one of the plastic chairs that lined the pool area. The other parents—mostly moms, but there were one or two dads—were chatting among themselves. She reached into her bag for the novel she’d brought along.

  “You’re with Cody Tanner?” A male voice, deep, pleasant. She glanced up to see a handsome man sitting next to her, probably a few years younger. She gave him a quick smile. “I am. I’m his nanny. Maggie Thelan.”

  He nodded and offered his hand. “Jake Curtis.” His shake was firm and warm but there weren’t any of the sparks she got from Josh. “I’m Ellie’s dad. In the pink flower suit.”

  The little blond girl was talking to Cody and he was chattering back. “They seem to be friends,” Maggie noted.

  Jake nodded. “They do. This is my first week. My ex usually brings her.”

  Maggie recognized the subtle way of letting her know he was single. It flustered her a bit and she fumbled with her bookmark. She wasn’t used to this. “Ah. Well. I may have seen her last week, then.”

  “Maybe.” He stretched out his long legs, and Maggie thought it really was a shame she couldn’t find enough chemistry to pursue this. Maybe it would come in time? Was it worth it, to take her mind off Josh? She didn’t want to use Jake, even if he was willing.

  Jake was funny and warm and friendly. He didn’t come on too strong but was clear in his interest. At the end of the half-hour lesson he had her laughing and she was much more at ease. But she didn’t feel anything other than friendliness.

  He looked at her with a direct gaze. “If I asked you out, Maggie, would you go?”

  She swallowed hard. “Oh, Jake.”

  “We just met. I know. I’m not asking for much, just the chance to talk more over coffee or something.”

  Maggie put her book back into her bag, her mind whirling. “I can’t promise it will go anywhere,” she said finally. “But I’d love to have coffee with a friend.”

  He held her gaze and nodded. “That’s fine with me. Are you free tonight?”

  She was, as it happened. They set a time and a place. He offered to pick her up, but she declined. It seemed wrong somehow, making it more than it was. Plus…she’d feel she had to justify it to Josh.

  She gathered Cody, got him dressed and hurried out to the car, one thought running on a loop though her brain.

  What would Josh say?

  Worse, why did it matter?

  Chapter Six

  “Do you need me tonight?” Maggie asked Josh when he got home.

  He pulled off his gloves. “No. We should be good. You have plans?”

  Her split-second hesitation caused his antenna to go on alert. She wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. “I do. Yes. I’m meeting a friend for coffee.”

  “A friend,” Josh repeated. He didn’t want to ask but he would bet this friend was male. His stomach soured.

  “The father of one of Cody’s friends from swimming,” she said.

  He went very still. “I see.” He heard the stiffness in his tone and tried to soften it. “Well. Your time is your own, of course.”

  She still wouldn’t look at him. “Yes, it is. I won’t be late.”

  “You’ve got a key,” Josh said tightly. Damn it, why did it matter? He didn’t want anything to happen. She was looking elsewhere. Wasn’t that what he wanted?

  Still, this unfamiliar feeling could only be jealousy. It’d been so many years since he’d experienced it and it didn’t feel any better now that he was older and supposedly wiser. “Can I ask who?” So I can go hurt him later? The vehemence of the thought made him wince.

  “Jake Curtis. Do you know him?”

  The hell of it was, he did and liked the guy. “I do. He’s a good guy.” The truth was sand in his mouth.

  She reached for her coat and slipped her arms in the sleeves, finally meeting his eyes. In hers was a plea for understanding. “This isn’t a date, Josh. There’s no danger of me putting something like this in front of my job.”

  “I’m not worried about that.” He saw the flash in her eyes and realized he sounded dismissive. “I’m not worried you’ll be less than professional with us,” he amended awkwardly.

  “Well, then,” she said, her posture stiff. “I’ll be on my way. See you later.”

  He made one attempt to be a bigger person as she grabbed her purse. “Have fun,” he managed to say past the dryness in his throat. She looked at him oddly and he knew he wasn’t fooling her.

  “Do you know something about him I need to be aware of?” she asked, concern in her voice.

  Josh sighed. “No. Like I said, Jake’s a good man.” The admission was grudging but not because it wasn’t true—but because it was true. Jake was a good guy, much better than himself. Quite possibly without the emotional ball and chain Josh hauled around.

  “All right.” Maggie turned toward the door. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  “Okay.” Josh for
ced himself not to walk to the front window and watch her leave. To meet another man. He ground his teeth together but had to smile when Cody came in the room and gave him a hug. “Hey, big guy. How was your day?”

  Cody filled him in, and Josh did his best to put Maggie out of his mind. It wasn’t any of his business what she did. He needed to act like it. He couldn’t have her. He knew this. So it wasn’t fair to her for him to get all possessive.

  But it didn’t make him feel any better.

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, his phone rang. He answered without even looking at the display. Part of him hoped it was Maggie. Stupid.

  “So, Josh. Does Maggie have plans for Thanksgiving?” His mother’s voice bubbled through the phone.

  She might now. The thought was unwelcome and unbidden. She was out with Jake, for God’s sake. Anything was possible. He cleared his throat. This would be a tricky conversation. “Well. I don’t know. I can ask her.”

  “Can you ask her now? I’m looking at a turkey right now.”

  “Um. Well, no. She’s out.” Josh really didn’t want to have to say it.

  “Oh, okay. I’ll just call her cell. Thanks—”

  “No! No, Mom, that’s not necessary. I’ll ask her when she gets home.” Right there was his mistake. He shut his eyes and waited.

  She didn’t disappoint. “Joshua Tanner, what aren’t you telling me?”

  Bingo. He opened his eyes and stared into the flames in the fireplace. “She’s out for coffee with a friend. There’s nothing to tell. It’s just rude to interrupt her.” It was true. That and Cody were the only things keeping him from going after her right now. Why did he care?

  “A friend,” Ellen repeated slowly, her displeasure clear in her tone. “Is she on a date?”

  He heard the accusation in her voice and let his head fall back on the couch. “It’s not a date, Mom.” So Maggie had said, several times. Who was she trying to convince? Him or herself?

  “You let her go out with another man?” Ellen’s voice spiked with incredulity. “Are you an idiot?”