Lost

by Ker Dukey

  “Cole?” I whisper.

  I hear him gulp but he answers me. “Win.”

  I’m knocked forward again but this time the peace that has seeped around me just makes me stare forwards. The dark edge looms and I pull in a slow breath as I let go of the wheel and close my eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper as the car tips forward, the front dipping at a speed that forces me against the steering wheel. “I’m so sorry….”

  He shouts my name, and it’s the last thing I hear as my car hits a tree.

  “Hey.”

  I moan and peel open my eyes, squinting at the pounding in my head.

  Cole’s hand is gripped tight in mine and I can feel the slight tremble in it as I look up at him. His smile is strained but his eyes show relief.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks, his throat bobbing up and down as he swallows rapidly.

  “Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”

  He releases a short chuckle and nods, “Not quite. A tree, baby.”

  I blink at his endearment. “You’ve forgiven me then?”

  Frowning, he shakes his head. “Forgiven you for what?”

  “For sleeping with me.”

  His brow creases and he looks at me with a little guilt and a little anxiousness. “You know there’s nothing to forgive. I already told you that.”

  “Yes. We both know what I did was wrong.”

  Shaking his head, he runs his hands through his hair. “I’m not discussing this here. You’ve just had some fucking prick try to kill you, and the first thing you do when you wake up is apologize for something you don’t need to be sorry for.”

  “Yes I do…”

  I’m silenced when he presses a finger to my lips and shakes his head again. “No, you don’t. It’s me who should apologize. I was an ass, a big fucking ass.”

  The door opens and a man I don’t recognize pops his head round. He gives me a smile then turns his eyes to Cole. “A word, boss.”

  Unexpectedly Cole stands and then drops a long soft kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

  “Oh ha-ha,” I grumble when he winks playfully and quietly shuts the door after he steps out.

  My body aches but I’m amazed to find I don’t seem to have any broken bones. My head is sore, a thumping rhythm making me nauseous but for the first time ever God seems to have answered my prayers.

  A nurse enters and gives me a wide smile. “Good to see you back with us, Winter. How are you feeling?”

  “Other than my head, a little sore but nothing too bad.”

  Nodding she starts to do some checks. “We’ll get you some pain relief for your head. You’re one lucky lady.”

  “Yeah,” I utter, flopping my head back onto the pillow behind me.

  “You were lucky the detective was there so quickly. If he hadn’t got you out when he did, well…” She doesn’t finish her sentence but gives me a troubled look.

  “That bad, huh?” I laugh to try and make light but instead a choked sob blurts from me. “Shit,” I groan, feeling foolish as I try to wipe my tears.

  “You cry, sweetheart, it’s just the shock,” she urges as she takes my hand and gives it a soft pat. “That was quite a nasty accident. But it could have been so much worse.”

  I nod, knowing she’s right as the tears start to come thick and fast. I can’t believe that I’m still alive. It was pretty obvious that whoever had pushed me over that edge had wanted to kill me and that makes me cry harder.

  I hated crying, it was a weakness I had whenever I was angry, scared or even freaking emotional. I cry at everything but these are tears of relief, and fear, because when it becomes known that I am still alive I have no doubt they will come for me again.

  Cole comes back in and regains his place on the plastic chair beside my bed, his hand slipping back into mine immediately. “Don’t cry,” he whispers as he leans forwards and kisses the top of my head. “You’re safe now. You’re safe.”

  I nod although my crying strengthens. The nurse covertly slips from the room when Cole perches himself on the side of my bed and slips his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him as I let out all the relief and the terror, the shock and the gratitude that I am still here to fight for Summer.

  Cole is patient with me, holding me tight until my crying bates and I am just hiccupping against his solid chest. His strong arms make me feel so safe, so protected that I don’t want him to let go. Feeling stupid but needing it right now, I hug him tighter, my arms possessing him as I cling to him. He smells like a man should do, leather and his own musky scent mixed with the faintest hint of perspiration. I’ve never allowed a man to hold me, to give me this feeling of complete need, yet Cole is different. He’s been there when I’ve needed him. He’s always been there to shelter me and he’s the only person I would ever truly trust.

  One of Cole’s hands slides from my back up to the nape of my neck and I shiver when he grips me and tilts my head back. He doesn’t say a word, his eyes just staring into mine with a softness that make my bones tremble. Very slowly his gaze moves down my face to my mouth, before climbing back up to my eyes. “You’re safe,” he breathes again. “You’ll always be safe with me, Winnie, always.”

  My mouth dries as he leans in and softly brushes his lips against mine. It’s such a tender kiss that I can’t help but gently gasp. He blinks slowly, his eyes fixed on mine as though he’s trying to steal my soul through my gaze. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first saw you again,” he says quietly but there’s a roughness to his voice that makes my heartbeat falter. Running his thumb across my bottom lip he drops his gaze to watch his own action. “You’re such a strong woman, Win. So full of vitality that I ache to touch you constantly.”

  I can’t speak. All I can do is honor his honesty with complete devotion.

  “You think you’re weak, that your fight makes you fragile, but you’re so wrong. You love with an astounding devotion and you should be proud of that. You shouldn’t ever apologize for who you are.”

  I nod this time. I know he is easing my worries about what happened between us, yet the utter conviction in his eyes is what shows me he tells the truth.

  “You think I didn’t want to take you under me, that I didn’t want to feel your heat around me, but you’re wrong. You’re so very wrong.”

  I blink at him, unsure of what he is saying.

  “I wanted you the moment I laid eyes on you at your parents. I’ve never wanted anything so much. You’re a delicacy, Win, an exquisite creature that deserves to bleed pleasure.”

  Reaching up hesitantly, I lightly press my fingers to his lips, feeling the softness beneath my touch. “Then why were you angry with me?”

  His eyes roam my face and he sighs. “I didn’t want our first time to be like that. I always knew I would take you but I always dreamed that it would be at my complete mercy, that your tight body would be bared to me entirely. Not in front of people. Not forced like that. Not a ploy to gain something. Just you and me. Just pain, blood and ecstasy, and nothing else.”

  Swallowing the lump in my throat I lean up, begging him with my eyes to meet me halfway. He doesn’t make me wait. Instantly his mouth meets mine and his full lips crush mine. His tongue dips inside, tasting me and he makes love to my mouth with a passion that has me clawing at him.

  His soft moan makes my belly flood with a warmth that has me squirming. The pain in my head is battering but Cole’s touch, his kiss, his adoration all push it away as I only concentrate on how this man makes me feel. I always felt the passion was there between us, yet I never expected anything to come of it.

  His declaration surprised me. I had always felt attracted towards him but Cole had always known that one day he would take me, and that made my tummy shudder with excitement.

  A cough in the background has us breaking apart and I snap upright, wincing at the pain that storms my head again.

  The nurse grins at me and holds up two little white pills. “P
ain relief,” she explains with a twinkle in her eye. “Sorry for the timing.”

  Cole gives me a soft smile, tapping the edge of my nose with his finger as he stands. “I have to go but I’ll be back later. Get some rest. Someone will be stationed outside your room, so rest.”

  He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. Before I can ask where he’s going, he leaves. I see through the window that his colleague is still waiting for him and a frown creases my brow when he and Cole hurry away.

  “These will help with the headache,” the nurse tells me as she passes me a glass of water with the pills. “We need to take you for your scan, just to check there’s no internal bleeding,” she quickly explains when I snap my eyes to hers in alarm. “Then if everything’s okay you should be able to go home. Is there someone who can stay with you?”

  I nod, lying. “Yeah.”

  She narrows her eyes on me, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Are you telling me little lies, Winter?”

  Slowly, I shake my head. “Nooo.”

  She regards me for a while then sighs. “Come on, let’s get you seen to then you can get some rest.”

  “That sounds good,” I say as a yawn verifies my tiredness. My body is exhausted but I’m also anxious to get out of here so I can get to where I was going. Spending time I don’t have in hospital isn’t finding Summer, and that’s all I can concentrate on at the moment.

  When Vera, my nurse, wheels me back into my room my parents are sat waiting for me.

  “Oh my God,” Mom whimpers. “My baby.” Her hug crushes my tender bones and I wince as her tears wet my face. Her hands cup my face as her eyes swiftly run over me.

  “I’m okay, Mom. I’m fine.”

  My father rolls his eyes at me and I give him a wink.

  “Are you sure?” she asks. “You’re not too badly burned?”

  “Burned?” I question, “Just a few aches but nothing serious. Why would I be burned?”

  She frowns at me, shifting my bangs from my face and tucking them gently behind my ear. “Your car, it’s a mess, Winter. Completely burned out.”

  My mouth falls open and I stare at her in shock.

  “The detective got to her before the fire took hold,” Vera explains to my mother as if I was aware of what had happened. “He suffered a few substantial burns himself but Winter escaped the brunt of it after Detective Jennings pulled her out and covered her as the car exploded.”

  Oh – my – God.

  “What?” My lungs feel tight. “Is Cole okay? He didn’t say anything; he didn’t even look in pain.”

  “Calm down, Winter,” Mom soothes as she takes hold of my hand.

  Vera nods, giving me a smile. “He’s fine, his wounds have been treated. Don’t you worry, we’ve taken care of him.”

  “But he could have died.”

  She just gives me another smile as Mom fusses over me, helping me back into bed and tucking my sheets around me.

  “Anything about Summer?” I ask but when her face darkens and her eyes drop I know the answer before she tells me.

  “No, nothing.” The sadness that covers her face makes my blood pump faster.

  Taking her hand, I squeeze it tight. “We’ll find her, I promise. I promise.”

  Gulping, she gives me a tight smile. She doesn’t believe me, I know she doesn’t. But I haven’t given up hope like her, I will never give up until I find her.

  “Now your parents are here we can arrange your discharge.” Vera quirks her brow at me, implying she knew I had been lying about leaving with someone.

  “She’s coming home with me.”

  All heads turn towards the door where Cole is stood watching me, his deep stare on me and daring me to argue. There is no argument from me. As much as I love and adore my folks, I’m not sure after living alone for a few years that I could cope with Mom fussing and Dad fussing because she’s fussing. They would drive me nuts. And besides, they’d never let me out of their sight, and I needed to get back to finding Summer.

  Mom looks shocked for a moment, her eyes flitting between Cole and me as she tries to figure out what’s going on. My dad seems a little more understanding of what is between us, but I still catch his small smile. He’s always liked Cole, especially because of how he took care of Summer and I after we were taken from our mother. But I guess he can see Cole’s need to protect me also, and that is what every father looks for in his daughter’s choice of boyfriend. Not that Cole is my boyfriend, of course. Just a friend.

  “Perfect,” Vera declares, breaking the silence that has grown in the room. “We’ll just wait for the doctor to check your scan and then make his rounds.” She turns to Cole. “Around six-ish tonight if you want to pick her up?”

  He nods, takes a quick glance at me and then mysteriously disappears again.

  “What’s going on, missy?” Mom asks as soon as Cole is out of earshot.

  My dad rolls his eyes again as he slumps into the corner chair.

  Vera tries to hide her amusement.

  And I take a deep breath and try to give my mother the basics about Cole and me.

  “Make yourself at home.” Cole gestures to his couch as I stand uneasily in his apartment. It’s not overly large but perfect for a single man, and like the typical bachelor pad it’s basic of anything remotely personal. The walls are a drab light brown and the furniture seems to match the décor, worn and dated but yet it’s still cosy and welcoming.

  I’m still stood in the same place looking around when Cole returns with a coffee. Handing me the steaming mug, he sits down and looks up at me. “It’s nothing great but…”

  “No, it’s fine. It just feels a little strange being here.”

  Taking the space behind him, I suddenly feel exposed, and nervous. I set my eyes on the TV he switched on when we first walked in and try to concentrate on the program. For some strange reason I’m suddenly nervous. Being this close to Cole is a rarity, and his smell is filling the space around me, making my mouth dry as I attempt to stop myself from looking at him.

  “Winnie,” His voice is quiet. “Look at me.”

  Just those simple words make my bones tremble, the quality of his gruff voice making my body slick with arousal. Everything about Cole is sensual and energizing, and forbidden echoes of his voice in my ear when he’d fucked me come creeping in again.

  Yet when I do turn to look at him my eyes widen on the item he is holding in his hand. My gaze snaps up to his to find him staring at me expectantly, his brows high and his lips pursed as if he’s annoyed.

  “Care to tell me why I found this in the back of your jeans when I pulled you from the car?”

  I already know he’s well aware of where I was going before the crash, there seems to be nothing Cole doesn’t know, so I decide honesty is the best answer. “Because I was on my way to see Summer’s dad.”

  He nods. “So why the need for the gun?”

  Something occurs to me and I tip my head to the side as I study him. “Why aren’t you surprised to learn about Summer’s father?”

  I catch the slight tension in his body. He didn’t expect my question, it’s obvious the way I can see him thinking about his words carefully. “He has nothing to do with Summer’s disappearance.”

  “The only way you could know that is if you are already aware of him.” He stills, refusing to look me in the eye. “Cole?”

  Taking a breath, he finally looks at me. “He was one of the first people we looked into after Summer went missing.”

  My heart stills in my chest. Shock renders me mute for a moment before anger finally filters in. “You mean he already knows she’s missing?”

  Cole struggles with his next words and takes a deep sigh. “Win…. He hasn’t been involved with Summer’s life for over ten years. He doesn’t know she’s missing. After background checks and some surveillance, it was deemed a dead end…”

  “No.” I shake my head at him, bolting upright. “Why the fuck isn’t he here, looking for her? Why isn’t h
e chasing the whole of the state trying to track down his daughter?”

  Cole remains silent.

  Bile coats my mouth and I gag with sheer disgust. “How can he not…” He blinks when I launch my mug across the room, coffee and china scattering over the already brown carpet. “Fucking… cunt!”

  “Calm down!” Cole orders but I’m just too damn angry to listen.

  When I snatch up my purse Cole is behind me in seconds, his fingers wrapping around my wrists and stopping me before I get to the door. “What the hell are you doing? He doesn’t know, Win!”

  “Well it’s about time he did! I’m going to show Denny Cooper exactly what he should be doing.”

  Cole blocks the door with his body. “Oh no! Don’t even think about it.”

  I glare at him, stunned by how calm he is. “Surely a man with his name could feel out some information. He should at least be trying.”

  Shaking his head slowly, Cole just shrugs. “He’s never had anything to do with her, Win.”

  “Well tough fucking shit!” I snap, “Summer is as much his responsibility as she is my mother’s and mine. And another reason I’m going to see him is that I know he will still be in touch with my mom. He will know where she is.”

  Cole’s eyes narrow on me and he’s suddenly more alert. “What?”

  “He was always in touch with my mother, not that he ever came round to the house. He couldn’t cope with her when she turned to the drugs but I know she used to talk to him often on the phone and they met occasionally when she was broke and needed money.”

  Cole looks troubled as his gaze wanders away from me to the floor. He blinks and screws up his face. “Our sources found no evidence of him being in touch with your mother, Win. You’re forgetting his time with her was over a decade ago.”

  “Bullshit!” I scoff. “He gave her money for a few years. I could never understand why my mother spoke to him if he refused to have anything to do with Summer, but they definitely kept in touch.”

  He’s quiet for a while, his fingers tapping the top of his thighs but eventually he inhales sharply and nods. “Fine, we’ll go visit him.”