Damaged Goods
Page 22
Funny how disappointed I felt, having already assumed that would be the case. I turned back around to face Aubrey, pasting a smile on my face.
“Why not?”
“Well, for one, everything between Lindsay and Alicia. Speaking of…what did Lindsay say to you?” I answered her question with a question of my own.
“Just her usual ‘woe is me, Alicia is cruel’ bullshit. She doesn’t get that she’s been hurting Alicia badly the last several years. Her comments about Alicia’s weight or appearance, the snide remarks she made every time Alicia did something she deemed as ‘uncool’,” Aubrey replied with a sigh.
“Oh no, she knows it,” I retorted, recalling what Alicia had told me. I hesitated for a moment on sharing the knowledge with Aubrey. Ultimately, I decided to tell her. Neither Aubrey nor I liked how Lindsay had treated Alicia over the years; it’d only gotten worse this year. I knew Aubrey was just as fed up about it as I was, and she didn’t even know everything that I knew.
By the time I finished filling her in, her eyebrows had shot up to her hairline. “Holy shit! I can’t believe that,” she said, still reeling. She shook her head.
“Can’t believe as in…you think that Lindsay is innocent, or—”
“Oh no, I believe she did it. Lindsay is acting weirder than usual. She’s even more obsessed with popularity than usual; she’s on a rampage to rule the school. After Alicia blew up on her, I knew there was something more than just her crush on Lindsay. A crush doesn’t make you that mad. Plus, it was how she completely called Alicia out on it.”
“Now what do we do?” I asked, shaking my head in exasperation. I did not like how Lindsay treated Alicia before I learned what really happened between them. Now? I was even angrier, and very much fed up with Lindsay and her antics.
“We need to be honest with her. How she’s acting isn’t cool; she’s already damaged things between herself and Alicia and she’s well on her way to hammering the final nail into the coffin of our friendship,” Aubrey answered wisely.
“Do you think Lindsay is coming tonight?”
“Not sure. She said she had plans. Besides, she can’t get a ride with Alicia obviously, and Kyle’s car is already full. In fact, he’ll be here any minute,” she said, standing up.
“Wait, why any minute? There’s still hours before the show is supposed to start.” It was only a little after four.
“The guys wanted to go to Fun World before,” she grinned. “Pizza, go-carting, and bowling.”
“Uh…I haven’t asked yet. My mom will probably say no.”
“I already asked her when I saw her. She’s okay with it,” Aubrey answered, tilting her head. She could smell an excuse from me, and she knew without asking that I didn’t want to go.
I avoided her gaze, not sure on where to start. I wanted to tell her, but I was afraid of coming across as an over sensitive, obsessed idiot. Which I was, but I really didn’t think it was a good idea for me to go. I didn’t want to spend more time than necessary with Kyle, given that he seemed reluctant to give up on the idea of us.
“What’s the matter with you?” she asked, concerned. When I didn’t immediately answer, she guessed. “It’s Grayson, isn’t it?”
I bit my lip, forcing myself to look directly at her.
“Every time that I feel us getting closer, when he lets me in a little more, he disappears for days. Then I’m left feeling like I did something wrong.”
“Why does he do that?” Aubrey asked, confused on my behalf.
“I don’t know.” I sighed warily. “But I feel like shit.”
“He’s taking you to the semi-formal. Grayson wouldn’t do that if he didn’t care; I’ve never seen him try to impress anyone before…and I always see him trying with you,” she confirmed.
“I know.” I exhaled. “He doesn’t like when I hang out with Kyle. He hasn’t told me to stop or anything, but I know he doesn’t like it.”
“Probably not.” Aubrey snorted. “Kyle’s gunning for you. He wants you. Grayson isn’t blind—he knows this and is threatened by it.” She had a point: I wasn’t oblivious to Kyle’s feelings for me. I knew he wanted me still; he dropped enough hints.
“So if he likes me enough to take me to the semi-formal and to get jealous over other guys liking me, then what’s with the disappearing act?” I whispered.
Aubrey was silent for several moments as she thought about it. “I really don’t think it’s about you,” she finally said. “I think he really cares about you. You can see it in how you guys are when you’re together. I think that maybe he has a fear of commitment.”
“Maybe,” I said, uncertain. I suppose it did make sense. Still, the insecure, loud voice in my head couldn’t help but add or maybe he’s just not that into you.
The doorbell rang, ending our conversation.
“Everly! Aubrey! Your ride is here!” Mom’s voice sounded muffled from behind the closed door, but we still heard her well enough.
“See you later, Mom,” I told her as I slipped on my boots while Aubrey and Kyle waited by the front door.
“Have fun, and be safe! Your dad and I will be there in time to watch you go on,” Mom said, hugging me tightly.
“Okay,” I told her, ducking out from under her embrace to join my friends.
Cam and Marcus were sitting in the backseat. Marcus scooted over so Aubrey could slide in beside him while Kyle held the seat forward. He stood aside so I could climb in, closing the door behind me with a devious grin.
“So, tonight is your first official show!” Marcus said from behind me, his voice full of excitement.
“Wasn’t the battle my first show?” I asked dryly, trying not to frown. Truthfully, I wasn’t feeling the excitement that everyone else seemed to feel.
Kyle squeezed my knee in what he probably meant as a reassuring gesture. “That was a battle; we played to win. This is a show…we’re playing to perform, to share our love of music with other people who love music. We’ve earned it! You’ve earned it.”
I tried to discreetly rearrange my position, twisting my knees away from Kyle. It felt wrong to have him touch me like that, mainly because it felt intimate…and the only person I wanted to touch me intimately was not Kyle.
“That’s true, I guess. Why Fun World?” I asked.
“Why not?” Kyle grinned.
* * *
Fun World turned out to be an incredible idea. We headed straight to the go-cart track and spent an hour racing around. Then we took a break and ate some pizza. Afterwards, Kyle talked us all into a game of bowling. I was laughing and smiling through the entire game, and I wasn’t usually a fan of bowling.
I felt light, relaxed and happy by the time we left Fun World for the pub.
The winter sky was dark and the stars were blanketed by thick clouds. It was supposed to snow later, but so far the sky was clear and the only snow came from the meager inch on the sidewalks.
We all climbed out of the car, and I stood on the sidewalk and watched as the guys walked to the back of the vehicle.
“You’re lucky you just have to worry about showing up,” Cam joked to Marcus and me as he and Kyle struggled to pull their instruments out of the tiny trunk.
“Yeah,” I said, shuffling closer to Aubrey. The pub looked full and alive, music and light pouring out. I was nervous.
The five of us walked into the pub. It was just as crowded as the parking lot had been, with bodies swaying to music and clusters of people sitting around tables.
“Awesome turn out,” Kyle remarked, grinning at me. I smiled back weakly, still scanning the crowd for Grayson.
I tried to relax with my friends, but it was difficult. At one point, someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around with a grin, expecting to see Grayson. My smile faltered as I looked at Lindsay. “Hey,” I said, forcing my lips to stay curved. I didn’t want her to cause any drama tonight, and she undoubtedly would if she felt ignored. “Glad you could make it,” I added, giving her a quick hug.
“I had to get a ride off Cam’s cousin since you wouldn’t answer your phone,” she told Kyle through narrowed eyes.
Kyle looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I had a full car,” he said. “Aren’t you dating him anyway? I don’t see what the big deal is.” He added, trying to repress a smile.
“Whatever.” Lindsay rolled her eyes, huffing. A moment later, Lindsay’s date, Lucas, joined our table, holding two drinks in his hand. Lindsay was too busy sulking to even really acknowledge or thank Lucas. All she did was reach out and take the drink. Lucas looked a little put out. Seeing that, Kyle engaged him in conversation with Cam and Marcus about some car show or another.
This left Aubrey, Lindsay and me to sit in relatively awkward silence. “So.” Lindsay sighed, rolling her eyes. “Do you guys hate me too?”
“Lindsay,” I said, shooting Aubrey a warning look. I drew in a deep breath, building myself up to it. It was really now or never; Lindsay knew something was up and she wouldn’t let it go until we told her. “We’re just really angry with how you’ve been acting lately. Your actions really hurt Alicia.”
“Everybody’s always so concerned about Alicia,” Lindsay spat venomously, her eyes angry slits. “Nobody ever cares about me!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Aubrey argued. She shook her head in bewilderment. “Are you that obtuse, Lindsay? Do you not see how you act? How you treat people? Your snippy comments to Alicia made her change everything about herself to please you. Any time you feel that you aren’t getting your due attention, you have a little hissy fit about it, and that’s exactly what this is. You’re in the wrong, but instead of admitting what you did was wrong and—oh, I don’t know—apologizing for it, you whine and complain that everyone else is to blame but you!”
Even with the conversations and music all around us, Aubrey’s rant was easily heard by both Lindsay and me. Lindsay stared at her for a moment, nodding as her brown eyes welled up. She fought against it, trying to blink away the tears.
“Lindsay, you have to stop acting that way. You have to stop tearing people apart—especially Alicia. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but acting that way isn’t the solution. You could try talking to us about what’s going on. Any of us would listen. Alicia would have, too. Now though, after the way you’ve treated her, she’s really hurt and she needs a break from us all. How does that make you feel?” I asked, gently touching her arm.
Lindsay was about to answer, but Kyle cut her off, oblivious to our conversation. “Alright, guys! Let’s go. It’s almost time for our set!”
I squeezed Lindsay’s arm gently. “I’ll be back,” I told both her and Aubrey. “Try to play nice…we’ll talk about this later.”
I followed Kyle, Marcus and Cam toward the stage.
* * *
I poured my heart into our songs, singing the best I had ever sung. I loved being up on the stage. I loved the way the crowd seemed to love our music. I loved the sound of Kyle’s voice with mine in melody. We were good; I knew we were good, but being up on stage just reminded me. It brought back the rush of feelings I had felt the night we won the battle, the night that Reece Miller had given me his card. Thinking about Reece made me think about the demo tape, and my stomach flipped nervously as I wondered if the label had listened to it yet.
Forcing the thought of Reece and the demo card from my mind, I dove into our final song. At the end of it, the crowd greeted us with loud screams and cheers for an encore.
I looked at Marcus frantically; we didn’t have an encore. Kyle mouthed “Landslide” at me, and started strumming on his guitar.
The crowd fell silent, realizing that we were going to give them an encore. Cam joined in with the bass, and Marcus tossed in a subtle beat on the drums. It changed the entire sound of the song, but in a good way. I sang with Kyle joining at the chorus.
The song completed and we bowed to the audience, our set finished. We stepped off stage, meeting the pub manager, Connor.
“I hate when bands do covers,” he said, scowling at us as he crossed his meaty arms. I winced, shrinking away from him. Then his face changed, and he started to grin and laugh. “But I love what you guys did with that!”
I pushed aside the heartache and disappointment I felt to not see Grayson’s face in the crowd at all, focusing on Connor’s praise. Kyle, Cam, Marcus and I headed back to our table. Aubrey was sitting back down, having returned after cheering her lungs raw. Lindsay was gone, but my parents sat smiling in the vacant seats.
“You guys were incredible!” my mom shouted over the sound of conversations and music. We were the only live band that night. Once we finished, a DJ took over to spin records.
“Thanks,” I said, my voice muffled as my parents quickly pulled me in for a hug.
“Where did Lindsay go?” I asked Aubrey.
Aubrey’s smile wavered slightly. “She left with Zoe and Kaylee, I guess,” Aubrey answered. I grabbed my coat from the chair, putting it on. I felt relieved, almost, to not have to worry about dealing with Lindsay.
My hands were shaking enough as is from the adrenaline of being on stage. I was amped up but at the same time, I wanted to go home to my bed. I wanted to sleep, or cry. Grayson’s absence really stung.
“Are you guys going to go now?” I asked my parents, noticing that they were lingering with their coats clenched in their hands. Mom smiled and nodded. “Cool. I’ll get a ride with you. See you guys tomorrow.” I hugged Aubrey quickly, ignoring the curiosity behind Kyle’s scrutinizing gaze.
The drive home didn’t take long at all, and before I knew it, I was quietly trying to take off my boots.
“Everly, I can’t even begin to tell you how proud your dad and I are of you,” Mom said once she closed the door behind her and Dad.
“You killed it, songbird,” Dad added, kissing me on the forehead.
“Thanks, guys…” I let a yawn escape my lips. “But I’m really tired and I have school in the morning, so…I’m going to go to bed, okay?”
I didn’t wait for them to reply; I just jogged up the stairs to my room.
Closing my bedroom door, I didn’t bother to turn my light on. I stripped my clothes in the dark and threw on pajamas, crawling into the warmth of my bed gratefully.
Chapter Fourteen
BY SUNDAY, I STILL hadn’t heard a word from Grayson and I was beginning to get extremely pissed off. He hadn’t once texted me. I’d kept my silence, telling myself that if he wanted to talk, he would. But by Sunday, I was sick of waiting. I needed to talk to him; I needed to find out what he was thinking.
“Hey, Mom?” I asked casually, leaning against the counter and watching my mom bake. I gave her my best pleading expression. “Do you work today?”
“Nope. I’m off for three days. Need to readjust to midnights,” Mom answered, not looking up from the batter in the large bowl that she was frantically beating.
“Could I maybe, possibly borrow your car?” I asked, batting my lashes as she glanced up at me.
“Why do you need to borrow my car?” She arched an eyebrow.
“I wanted to go and visit my friend,” I answered shortly.
Mom used the side of her hand to brush back a strand of her blonde hair. She scrutinized me for several moments before speaking. “The truth, Everly. Remember, I can see through lies.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the serious expression on her face. My mother really could tell when we were lying or hiding something from her. My laugh faded away and I sighed, resting my elbows on the kitchen island and my chin in my hands. “I haven’t seen or spoken to Grayson in a while…I want to make sure that he’s okay…that we’re okay.”
Mom studied me again. She looked as if she wanted to protect me from whate
ver hurt was surely coming my way, but she was powerless against it. Her reaction made the dread expand in the pit of my stomach. She sighed. “Alright. The keys are on the table in the hallway.”
“Thanks, Mom! You’re the best!” I said, forcing a smile.
“Make sure you give me a status update,” she drawled, waving the batter-covered wooden spoon in farewell.
I grabbed her keys out of the decorative bowl on the end table in the hall. I patted Stella before I raced out to her car, my feet almost sliding out from under me. We’d gotten pelted with snow the last few days, but it had finally stopped.
I put on one of my favorite CDs, Evanescence, singing along as I drove. I tried to drown out the nervous beat of my heart with my voice.
I pulled into Grayson’s long driveway, driving up past the beautiful house. There was a little girl playing in the front yard. She was so bundled up in her snow suit she resembled a soft pink starfish. I opened the car door, greeted to the sounds of her laughter drifting up over the snowy yard as she chased a tiny pug dog wearing a sweater.
I climbed up the stairs that led to his apartment and tentatively knocked on the door. A moment later, Grayson threw it open with a scowl, his face changing the moment he saw me. His eyes widened slightly as he stared at me, as if he couldn’t believe that I was standing in front of him.
“Where have you been?” I demanded, crossing my arms as if I could prevent my heart from aching.
“Sick.” Grayson’s response came too quickly. His face and eyes gave nothing away, but I still knew it was a lie. I felt that it was.
“Bullshit,” I called him out, my eyes narrowing. “You missed the show…”
Grayson drew in a deep breath, watching me warily. “I’m sorry, I forgot about it.”
I nodded stiffly, forcing my eyes away from his face. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, Everly.” Grayson’s voice was guarded. He kept his hands to himself, and the distance he was forcefully putting between us stabbed at me.
“I didn’t come here to fight.” I approached him almost cautiously. “I told you already, I need this disappearing act to stop. If you need space, just tell me. I deserve to know.”