Minutes pass and I’m still sitting here. The only things playing in my head are memories of all the times I’ve waited for Damarian like this. In the past, I would embrace the memories and cherish them, because if not for them Damarian and I would not have gotten to where we are. But what does any of that matter if we can never been together again? If he can no longer turn into a human and I can’t turn into a mermaid, will this be our fate? To meet every night at the beach, spending only a few moments together? And if we decide to have kids, how could we raise a child, a family?
“Cassie! My love!”
I nearly launch to the sky at the sound of his voice.
“I am here. I have heard your calls and swam as fast as I could. Are you all right?”
Searching the waves, I find him a few feet away from the shore. “Yeah, sorry!” I call. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I just had to see you.”
His swim to the shore is so swift I could have missed it if I blinked. I race toward him and throw myself at him. He catches me by the waist and spins around, falling onto the wet sand. Our lips immediately seek each other’s. Like before, I don’t feel anything, but it’s comforting to be kissing him and held so closely in his arms.
“How are you?” he asks when our lips finally draw apart. “I have missed you so.”
“Me, too. You have no idea.” I rest my forehead against his and just breathe.
The only sounds are the heavy breaths coming out of my mouth and his gills expanding and contracting. My hand moves to different parts of his body, missing the feel of his hard muscles and his tail beneath my palms. As a mermaid, touching his tail felt amazing, but as a human, it’s sticky and slimy.
“Have you been well, my love?” Damarian plays with a few strands of my hair. Even the slightest touch like stroking my hair would always send a shiver down my spine, but not now. Still, it’s comforting.
“I’ve been okay. I spent the afternoon with Ruthie and Bobby.”
“Ah, I very much miss your brother and sister.”
“And I miss your family. So much.” I put my hands on his shoulders and look into his eyes. “Have you learned anything?”
It’s like our reunion meant so much to him that he totally forgot about everything’s that happened. His face shifts from delight and relief to terror and fear in less than two seconds.
My stomach sinks. “What’s wrong? Did you learn something bad?”
He tears his gaze from me. “I cannot tell you. I cannot bear to…to see the pain in your eyes.”
The biggest lump I have ever gotten materializes in my throat. I try to swallow it away, but it seems to grow bigger. My voice shakier than an erupting volcano, I ask, “What did you learn?”
Nothing but pain in his eyes.
I cup his chin and lift his face to mine. “Hey, don’t be worried. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. We’ve been through so much together, and I know we’ll get through this, too.”
He frees his jaw and gently pushes me off him. His eyes are on anywhere but my face. “No, my love. This time we will not be able to get through this together.”
My heart beats so hard and fast I’m growing dizzy. “What do you mean by that?”
His eyes are dead-locked on the wet sand.
“Damarian.” I edge closer.
He holds up his hand. “No, do not, Cassie. Please, do not. I cannot bear it. It is too painful.”
He’s really scaring me right now. “Damarian, what is going on?”
He shakes his head. Now my stomach sinks to my toes. He’s crying. Not just crying, but bawling. I’ve seen him cry a few times, but nothing like this. It’s as though he’s feeling the most intense pain he’s ever felt before. And I’m not talking physical pain but emotional.
I try to crawl closer, but he shakes his head again, keeping his hand raised.
“Damarian.” Now tears rain down my cheeks.
He must hear how choked up my voice is because his head snaps to mine. “No, my sweet beautiful Cassie. Please do not cry. It makes this even more unbearable.”
“How can I not cry? You’re really scaring me. And you don’t even want me near you.”
“Because when you hear the news…” He shakes his head, his gills expanding and contracting so intensely it looks painful. “You think you feel pain now, my love, but you cannot imagine the amount of agony you will feel once I tell you what I have learned. And I cannot bear to cause you such ache.”
I wipe my eyes. “I really appreciate that you’re trying to spare me, but I need to know. And you have to be strong, my merman. We’ll get through this. Whatever it is. We always have. Because we have each other and our love is so strong.”
He shakes his head.
“Damarian, just tell me. You need to.”
He stares at his tail.
“You’re the only one who can. Unless you’d rather send another child of the sea. But I want to hear it from you.”
He slowly moves his eyes to me. “I do not wish to hurt you.”
“I know.” I’m sliding over to him and he’s not stopping me. “But I’m strong.”
“Yes, one of the strongest creatures I know. I have so much love and respect for you.”
“Then you know I can handle whatever it is you need to tell me.”
It appears like he’d rather die from lack of sea water than tell me, but he reluctantly nods. “Yes, you are correct.” His gills expand to the max before deflating. “As soon as I arrived to our home in the sea, I sought out the assistance of Grandfather, Father, and Mother. I informed them of the events that have transpired. Mother and Father were not aware of such a species of coral, but Grandfather…he heard tales of such coral, though he thought they were myths.”
“I’m starting to think everything you guys think are a myth are actually true,” I say.
He nods slowly. “You may be correct.” He flattens one of his webbed hands on the sand and presses down, examining the shape it makes.
“Damarian,” I say softly. “Please stop stalling and continue.”
“The coral is called the Lovers’ Tear.”
“Why?”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “Because…” His gills are going crazy now.
Though it’s killing me, I force myself to remain patient and let Damarian take as much time as he needs.
But after some time passes, I ask, “Why is the coral called the Lovers’ Tear?”
His eyes still closed tight, he says in such a low voice I nearly miss it, “Because it tears away the bond of lovers.”
I remain planted in my spot, the area around me spinning. I try to move my lips, but they’re fastened shut.
“And because it causes the lovers nothing but tears,” Damarian continues.
I’m still frozen.
I can’t make sense of the thoughts racing in my head.
I don’t feel anything but the violent beating of my heart.
I’m not sure if I’m even breathing.
“Cassie.” Damarian shifts over until he’s at my side. He reaches to fold me in his arms, but I move away.
“Are you…” Fresh tears make it hard for me to see or talk. I swipe them away. “Are you saying…?” I don’t know if I can get the words out.
“Yes, my love.” It seems like it’s hard for him to get his words out, too. “We are losing our mating bond. As the days go on, we grow further and further apart. Until we are no longer bonded at all.”
I scramble to my feet and glare down at him. “You’re lying.”
He has nothing but grief in his eyes. “I am afraid I am not.”
“How can this be? You told me that merpeople mate for life and that nothing can tear them apart. Now you’re telling me that some unknown species of coral did this to us?”
“You cut your arm,” he says, his voice quaking. “The poison must have entered your blood. And it transferred to me when we mated.”
“But…but…” This can’t be happening. I refuse to believe this. I m
ean, getting poisoned by coral? This has to be a joke. I need to believe that it’s a joke. Because I think I’ll drop dead if this is the truth.
“Cassie.” He raises his arms like he wants to gather me to his chest, but he can’t reach because he’s sitting on the sand. “Please, let me hold you.”
“Not until you tell me the truth.”
“It is the truth! Why would I fabricate such a tale?”
“I can’t, Damarian.” I turn around and fall to my knees, burying my hands in my face. “I can’t accept this.”
“I refused to believe it at first as well, my love. But look at the signs. You did not feel anything for me when we were together the night after you were wounded, for that was the start of the separation. You are no longer able to turn into a child of the sea because—”
“No.” I press my hands to my ears. “Stop talking.”
“All right. I will stop.”
“You mean the world to me,” I whisper, my lips tasting the saltwater of my tears. “We’ve fought so hard to be together. I thought we finally had our happily ever after. And now this? And a week before our wedding?”
He’s quiet for a few seconds before he says, “You are correct. I forgot about the human mating.”
I slowly turn to face him. “Can’t we just mate again after…the bond is gone?”
He shakes his head. “Once we are separated, we can never mate again. That is why I cannot shift into a human.”
I’m going to throw up every organ I have in my body. I lean over and heave, but nothing comes out. I end up having a coughing fit.
“Cassie, are you all right? Cassie!”
“You’ll mate with another mermaid. You’ll live happily ever after with her. I’m being punished for messing with the natural order of things. We’re two different species and were never meant to be together. Every time we got through another obstacle, it was all an illusion.”
“Cassie, do you think I wish to mate with someone else? I could never love another female. You are the sole being for me.”
“I think others disagree,” I mutter.
“Others?”
“The universe? Mother Nature? I don’t know.”
“Come here, my love. I need to hold you in my arms.”
“What for?” Now I understand why he couldn’t bear for me to be near him earlier. The thought of being close to him but not really being close to him…
The Lovers’ Tear. It totally fits. The love of my life is being torn away from me. Forever.
“Cassie…”
He sounds too weak. When I move my gaze to his, I find him lying flat on the sand, grabbing at grains of sand like he’s in extreme pain but is trying to fight it. I’m at his side in a second and touch his cheek. “Are you feeling sick? You need to get back in the ocean.”
“Cassie.” He places both hands on my face and stares into my eyes. “Do not pull away from me. Please, do not leave me.”
“I need to get you in the water.”
“No, not until—”
“You’ll die!”
“I will die if you do not allow me to hold you in my arms.”
I search his eyes and see how much love he has for me. Despite all that’s happening to us, he still feels the same as he did before. And so do I. “I promise I’ll be in your arms the moment you’re in the water.”
It looks like it takes everything he has to nod. I close my hands around his arms and pull. He pushes with his tail. We only manage to move him a few inches, but it’s enough for the tide to sweep over him.
Immediately, he closes his arms over me and holds me to his chest. His lips graze my temple. “My Cassie. I have so much love for you. You are my Cassie.” He keeps muttering the same words over and over again.
“I can’t lose you.”
“You shall not. I will do all I can to fix this.”
I shake my head against his chest. “You’re just saying that to comfort me. You don’t believe you can fix this, or else you wouldn’t have been so distraught when you came to shore.”
“You are correct, my love. I do not think I have ever felt such hopelessness before. But once I uttered the words and saw the pain on your face, I knew I had to do all I can to remove it and replace it with joy. I have nothing but determination in my being. I will not surrender until I find the means to correct this. You and I will not lose our bond, my sweet Cassie. I will not allow it.” He wipes away my tears.
“I don’t feel…anything. Maybe it’s too late and we’re not even bonded anymore.”
He puts his finger on my lips. “We must not despair. Father, Mother and Grandfather are meeting with the elders from all the clans as we speak. Mother promised she will seek the Enchantress if they do not find answers.”
“The Enchantress? She can’t. That sea witch is a monster. Who knows what horror she’ll put her through?”
“Do not fret. It is the last option.” He rubs his hands up and down my back. “I am now more determined than ever to ease your heart and mind, my Cassie. You are my world. You are my past, my present, and my future. I wish to continue building a life with you. I wish to raise a family with you. I wish to grow old with you. I will not yield until my dreams come true.”
I lock my arms around his neck and press my cheeks to his. “I love you, Damarian. So, so much. All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you. I ache to spend forever with you. I won’t give up on us, either.”
His lips brush my jaw until they meet with mine. Like before, I don’t feel anything, and that causes a hole to form in my chest.
“Should we cancel the wedding?” I ask.
“No, by the time our human mating arrives, you and I will be fully bonded as children of the sea. I promise.”
I shake my head. “Again, you’re making promises you can’t keep.”
“But I shall keep this one as well.”
“Damarian…”
“Yes?”
“If we are not technically bonded, but still mate…what do you think would happen?”
“I asked the very same question to Grandfather. He stated that if you and I were to mate as an unbonded pair, we would…” Though it’s hard to tell due to the night sky, his face turns dark.
“We’ll die,” I finish.
He shakes his head, his face getting even darker.
“I’ll die?”
He reluctantly nods.
“Why me?”
“The bond exists only in my world,” he says. “Humans can mate as many times as they wish but they will not be eternally bound to their partner. But that is not so for children of the sea. That is why it is more likely that you will perish.”
I guess that makes sense, in a weird fantastical way. The power of the bond comes from him and not me, since he’s the mythical creature. After all, I’m the one who had to turn into a mermaid to fix the natural order of things.
Laying my head on his chest, I listen to his heart. It’s beating quite fast. For all the bravery he’s showing to make me feel better, he’s just as terrified as me.
“This…might be our last time together,” I say.
“No. You told me you will not give up on us, my beautiful Cassie. Cling to the hope. Cling to me.”
“I’m trying, but I don’t know if I could.”
He sweeps his lips over mine. “Know that I hold immense love for you. Love I have never felt for another being. Trust in that love. Believe in it.”
“I’ll try,” I promise.
I don’t know how long we remain in each other’s arms. It seems like only five minutes, but I’m sure an hour or two have passed. The sky is getting lighter.
My arms tighten around his neck when he starts to pull away. “No.” I bury my face in his chest. “I don’t want you to go.”
“You know that is far from what I desire as well.” His warm breath tickles my cheek, but it doesn’t send goosebumps all over my skin like it used to. “But I need to return to the colony so that I can find a cure.” He cups
my cheek, raising my face to look into my eyes. “It will not be long until you and I will be completely mated again. I assure you.”
I nod, though ninety percent of me refuses to believe him.
He places both hands on my cheeks and gazes deeply in my eyes. “I love you, Cassie. No matter what we feel—rather, what we do not feel—in our time apart, never forget that my heart belongs to you. My soul belongs to you. For all eternity.”
I nod again, unable to talk because I know I’ll cry and never stop.
“Perhaps it is wise we meet in two days,” he suggests. “I am not certain how long it will take for me to seek answers, and I do not wish for you to wait for me.”
In the past, the notion of being apart from him for two whole days would make me feel like half of me was gone. An ache would form inside me and wouldn’t go away until I’d be reunited with my merman. But I don’t feel it as strongly now. It’s still there, of course, because I love him to death, but I don’t feel it in every fiber of my being.
“I’ll be counting down the minutes,” I say. “No, the seconds.”
He shakes his head. “Please do not let this weigh you down. Do not let it consume you. Carry on like always, my love, all right? In two days’ time, hopefully all will be well.”
Hopefully.
He leans forward to press a sweet, gentle, loving kiss on my lips. “Farwell, my Cassie. We will meet in two nights.”
My hand clings onto his as he moves away from me. And like the last time we had to part, I don’t let go until our arms are stretched to the max. He dives inside, then waves his tail around. Then the splashing is gone and the only thing before me are the calm waves.
Two nights. It might as well be two centuries.
Chapter Thirteen
“Cassie!” Someone knocks on the door.
My eyes flash open and immediately find the small clock on the night table. 2:46 PM. I groan as I cover my face with my blanket. The person outside is Leah, but I don’t want to face her or anyone. I just want to lie here until 3 AM tonight.
“Cassie!” The knocking is now banging.
“It’s okay,” Mom’s voice says. “I have a key.”
Merman's Forever (Merman's Kiss, Book 6) Page 9