by Jae
“I have to call Kaylee and tell her. Oh my God, she’ll be so jealous that Eliza is practically my new aunt!”
Denny’s jaw gaped halfway to her knees. By the time she snapped her mouth shut, Bella was already at the top of the stairs. “Whoa! We’re going on a date, not getting married, Bella!”
Her niece didn’t answer. The door to Bella’s room slammed shut.
“God,” Salem murmured. “Why do kids lose the ability to close doors like a normal person as soon as they turn ten?” She put the knife down, wiped her hands on a dish towel, and pulled Denny into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you.”
Denny returned the hug for a moment before stepping back. “Um, thanks, but why would you be proud of me? For going on a date with Eliza?”
“For listening to me and asking her if she could ever feel the same.”
“Uh, I didn’t.” Denny rubbed her overly hot earlobe. “Eliza was the one who did that, not me.”
Salem let out a whistle. “Damn, that took guts.”
“Yeah, she’s amazing.” Warmth filled Denny from head to toe as she remembered the expression on Eliza’s face as she had blurted it out.
Salem wrapped her arms around Denny a second time. “I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks. But we’re taking it one step at a time. Like I told Bella, it’s one date, not marriage.”
Salem let go and regarded her with a wrinkle between her brows. “But you want more than just one date, don’t you?”
“Of course. But I can’t let myself think too far ahead. So much could go wrong. I mean, what if Eliza figures out being with a woman isn’t right for her after all? Or what if the age difference between us turns out to be a problem? Or—”
Salem thrust her hand out. “Let me quote what a wise woman once said to me when I got cold feet before my first date with Matt: Eliza is probably aware of everything that could go wrong, yet she cares enough to take the risk. That has to count for something.”
“It does,” Denny said. “But—”
“No buts, Denny. You’re overthinking it. You say you’re not thinking too far ahead, but that’s bullshit. You totally are—but you’re only thinking of all the negative things that could happen, not of things going great between you two.”
Damn. Salem was right. “When did you get so smart, baby sis?”
Salem winked at her. “I had a good role model. Now come on. My sous-chef seems to have abandoned me, so I need a new one.”
“I’m not sure I can be trusted with a knife right now,” Denny said. “I haven’t slept a wink, and my hands are still shaking.”
Salem pulled her to the kitchen. “You’ll survive. And if you do cut yourself, you can ask Eliza to kiss it and make it all better.”
Denny ignored the flush that mental image brought. She grabbed the dish towel from the counter, twirled it a few times, and playfully snapped it across Salem’s backside.
Eliza had just entered the small, wood-paneled entrance hall of her apartment building when footsteps sounded coming down the stairs and Heather came into view.
“Hey, I just knocked on your door,” Heather said. “I’m going for a Yolko Ono. Want to come?”
The thought of the fried-egg sandwich made Eliza’s mouth water, even though a second ago, eating had been the last thing on her mind. Her stomach answered before she could, letting out a loud growl to remind her it was past lunchtime and she hadn’t eaten anything except for a scoop of ice cream.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Heather laughed, wrapped one arm around her, and pulled her out of the building.
Eliza didn’t protest. She wasn’t sure she would be able to eat anything, despite what her belly said, but maybe she could use the opportunity to tell Heather about her and Denny. Keeping it from her best friend any longer wasn’t fair. Besides, she was bursting to tell someone, and who better than Heather?
They strolled north on SW Park Avenue.
Eliza searched for the right words but came up empty. Come on! She had ten minutes before they reached the square—ten minutes to tell Heather so she wouldn’t choke on her egg sandwich. Eliza tried to calm her rapid heartbeat. Why on earth was this so difficult? She wouldn’t hesitate to tell Heather if she were dating a guy, would she? This shouldn’t have been any different, but it was.
“So, what have you been up to today?” Heather asked as they passed the Portland Art Museum.
“Denny and I went down to the waterfront.” The mere mention of Denny made her voice come out in a rasp. She hoped Heather wouldn’t notice.
“Oh, to watch the finals of the dragon boat races?”
Eliza tilted her head in a vague nod. “That too.”
“Who won?” Heather asked.
“I have no idea. I was a little distracted.”
Heather waited until they had crossed a side street before she gave her a thorough once-over. “Distracted by what?”
Eliza held her breath as she said quietly, “Denny.”
Heather chuckled. “Yeah, with that shy little grin, she can be a bit—” Her head jerked around. “Wait! That shy little grin wouldn’t do anything for a straight woman like you. You didn’t mean it like that, did you?”
Eliza glanced at her sneakers, then at Heather. “I meant it exactly like that.” She held her friend’s gaze. “I…I asked her out.”
At the last second, Heather veered around a park here sign pointing at the parking lot across the street. She grabbed Eliza’s arm to keep her balance and then didn’t let go. “Son of a bulldog! You did not!”
“Yes, I did. I hope that’s not awkward for you. I mean, since you went out with her too.”
“Pah!” Heather waved her free hand. “Forget about that. We didn’t have any chemistry, but the two of you…you did?”
Eliza nodded. At the next intersection, she steered them to the right.
For several steps, all Heather did was shake her head. “When you said you’d take some time off from dating guys, I didn’t think you meant you’d start dating women!”
Eliza still wasn’t sure if it was women in general she was attracted to or just Denny, so she simply shrugged.
Heather slapped her forehead. “Oh! So you were jealous when I went out with her, just not the way I imagined! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What was I supposed to say? ‘No, you can’t go out with her; I want her for myself.’?” She shook her head. “I wasn’t ready for that.”
For once, Eliza’s unflappable best friend looked stunned. “And now you are?”
Was she? “I think so. Still haven’t fully recovered from the surprise, though.”
“So this is the first time you’ve been interested in a woman, right?” Heather asked.
“Jeez, what do you think? That I’ve been hiding it from you all these years?”
“Well, no, but in hindsight, do you think you’ve ever felt something for another woman and were just in denial?”
Eliza had asked herself the same question, night after night, when she had lain awake or had googled things to make sense of what she was feeling. “I don’t think so.” She glanced around and lowered her voice. “I mean, there were women I admired, and I stared at a lot of breasts with longing when I was younger. But that was more of an I want to look like that than an I want to touch them. At least I think that’s what it was.”
A sly grin spread over Heather’s face. “So with Denny’s boobs…which of the two is it?”
Her friend was enjoying this a bit too much. Eliza sped up as they turned left onto Sixth Avenue to escape Heather’s questioning.
But with her longer legs, Heather easily kept up with her. She held on to Eliza’s elbow. “Hey, you know I’m not making fun of you and what you’re going through, right? Well, maybe a little.” She held the thumb and index finger of her free hand half an inch apart. “But mostly, I want to make sure you’re not putting yourself into a situation where you feel pressured to do something you don’t want. Can you imagine being
intimate with her?”
God! Eliza started to understand how Denny must feel with her tendency to blush. Her cheeks felt feverish…and so did the rest of her body as she thought about Heather’s question.
She and Denny had hugged goodbye earlier, so she could easily imagine being in Denny’s arms. Her imagination took the next step, showing her the same scenario—sans clothes. As soft as Denny’s favorite jacket was, her skin was probably even softer, and Eliza would be able to feel that wonderful mix of strength and softness even better. Mmm, yeah, she wouldn’t have a problem with that at all.
For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine touching Denny’s breasts, trusting Heather’s grip on her arm to prevent her from running into a streetlamp. The thought was surreal, but not repulsive at all. She was definitely interested in finding out if Denny’s breasts were as soft as she imagined.
As for doing more…
Her stomach flip-flopped, and she wasn’t sure if it was from desire or panic. Probably both.
“Saved by the food cart.” Heather pointed at the big, yellow truck ahead.
When had they reached Pioneer Square?
Heather laughed and patted her arm. “You take a seat; I’ll get the food. You want your usual, or are you trying something new food-wise too?”
“You!” Eliza gave her a friendly push but couldn’t help laughing. It felt good to talk about it—and to joke about it—because it reminded her this was supposed to be a fun experience, not something to be anxious about. “I’ll take my usual, please.”
She took a seat on one of the two dozen steps, which formed a semicircle of red bricks in the square’s center, while Heather got in line. Eliza pulled one knee to her chest, put her chin on top, and stared off across the square without registering any of the hustle and bustle.
Wow, she was dating a woman—dating Denny! Her brain hadn’t had enough time to sort through all the new information and what it might mean, but telling Heather had somehow made it more real.
She zeroed in on two young women crossing the square, laughing and talking. Did she see them differently than she had before? Or what about the beautiful redhead who sat a few steps down from her? Did she find her attractive? Her fair skin and cute nose were certainly pretty, but even the straightest woman on earth would be able to see that, right?
“Here.” Heather settled down next to her and held out a sandwich. “One Free-Range against the Machine with Havarti cheese and the spicy aioli, as requested.”
Eliza flinched since Heather had seemed to appear out of nowhere.
“Sorry, did I startle you? You seemed very focused on…” Heather’s gaze veered around and finally landed on the redhead. “Wait! Did you just check her out?” She laughed and slapped her thigh with one hand. “Oh my God, you totally did!”
“Shh!” Eliza ducked her head and waved at her to settle down. “Jeez, could you say it any louder? I did not,” she lowered her voice, “check her out. I was just—”
“Comparing her to Denny?” Heather finished the sentence for her. “Trying to find out if you have a type?”
Eliza peeled back the top slice of perfectly grilled sourdough bread and pretended to check out the contents of her sandwich. Finally, she peeked at Heather. “Yeah, something like that.”
Chuckling, Heather wrapped one arm around Eliza and pulled her against her side. “Hey, that’s perfectly normal in your situation. You’re practically going through lesbian puberty.”
Eliza chuckled even as she held up her free hand. “Uh, I’m not sure that label fits me. Lesbian, I mean. Puberty fits. I do feel like a pubescent teen.”
“Okay,” Heather said, “not-quite-straight puberty, then.”
Yeah, she supposed that description fit her well. Even though the thought still made her head spin, she couldn’t call herself straight any longer.
They both took bites of their sandwiches and moaned at the same time.
The crispy bread, the fried egg, and the melted cheese formed a perfect combination with the avocado and tomato, and the spicy aioli added an extra kick.
Runny egg yolk dribbled down Eliza’s chin, and she grabbed the paper napkin that came with the sandwich, while Heather managed to eat without creating a mess. It was good to know that, even at this time of change, some things stayed the same.
Heather swallowed her bite of Yolko Ono. “So what conclusion did you come to?” She gestured toward the redhead.
Eliza gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I have no idea. Do I have to come to any conclusions right now?”
“No. You’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out. Let me know if you need any help with that. Theoretical help, that is.” Heather waggled her eyebrows. “I assume Denny will help you with the practical parts.”
Eliza threw her wadded-up napkin at Heather but refused to look away from her twinkling brown eyes. “Thanks, I assume so too.”
“Ooh, do tell!” Heather nudged her. “Did she kiss you?”
“No.” Eliza relived the moment they had said goodbye at the MAX stop earlier. If she wasn’t mistaken, Denny’s gaze had darted to her lips, and for a second, she had thought Denny might kiss her, but then she had wrapped her arms around her in a tender hug. As wonderful as that embrace had been, Eliza now realized she’d wanted Denny to kiss her.
Heather took another bite, chewed it with a thoughtful expression, and then dabbed her napkin to her lips. “Honestly, I’m not surprised she didn’t.”
Eliza eyed her. “What do you mean?” Dating a woman seemed to come with its own rules and expectations, none of which she was familiar with.
“Remember Cindy?” Heather asked.
“Your ex?”
Heather nodded. “She’d never been with a woman before me either, so I was super careful every step of the way, making sure she was okay with what we were doing. Knowing Denny, she’ll be even more careful. You might have to take the first step and kiss her.”
“Oh.” Eliza paused with the sandwich halfway to her mouth. In most of her relationships, she had let her partner take the lead and initiate the first kiss. But that was an outdated stereotype anyway, wasn’t it? Why shouldn’t she kiss Denny first? She squared her shoulders. “Yeah, well, I just might.”
Heather twirled her fist in circles above her head. “Woo-hoo! You go, girl!”
With a determined nod, Eliza stuffed the rest of her sandwich into her mouth. Yeah, she would totally kiss Denny. But before that could happen, she had to come up with the perfect idea for their first date.
Chapter 19
“We are closing register three. Please head to the next available checkout.” Denny turned off the light signaling her checkout was open, stood, and bit back a groan. Her knees had stiffened after hours of sitting at the register. It had been a long shift, and now she couldn’t wait to clock out.
She would go on a date with Eliza in exactly—she glanced at her wristwatch—two hours and seventeen minutes. After six days of only talking on the phone, she couldn’t wait to see Eliza again, but she was also more nervous about this afternoon than she had been on any date with another woman before, and that was saying something.
She pulled her cash drawer from the register and carried it into the office.
While the shift manager counted her drawer, she said hi to Julie, who was getting ready for her shift.
“Hey, Denny,” Julie said. “Tanya and I are meeting up at The Goodfoot after work. Do you want to join us?”
“Um, no, thanks. I’ve got plans.”
“Come on. I feel like we haven’t really talked in forever, and spending time at your sewing machine doesn’t constitute plans.”
Denny shook her head. “I’ve got plans with someone other than my Singer. But I promise we’ll catch up soon.”
The shift manager finished counting, frowned, then started over again.
What on earth was taking him so long, today of all days?
Finally, he looked up and shook his head. “You’re short by ten d
ollars.”
“What?” Denny stepped closer to the desk. It had been years since she’d been off by more than a few cents, and she prided herself on that. “Are you sure?”
He gave a stern nod.
Julie walked over. “That’s a first. You’re always perfectly balanced. What’s up with you?”
Denny bit her lip. She couldn’t admit she hadn’t been able to focus worth a damn because she’d been thinking about Eliza and their date all shift. Not in front of their boss. Sighing, she signed the sheet he held out to her and promised to do better in the future.
When she went to clock out, Julie rushed after her. “Oh, I get it! It’s Eliza, isn’t it?”
Denny froze with her card halfway to the time clock, then whirled around. “How did you know?”
“Please! You’ve talked about nothing but her all week! You were a regular chatterbox for once.”
Denny stared at her. “I was?”
“Well, okay, maybe not exactly a chatterbox, but you did talk about her a lot. What’s up with that? Are you two dating or something?”
“Yes, we are.” Denny couldn’t help smiling. “This afternoon is our first date.”
“Oh! So that’s why you bribed me with one of your sister’s famous apple pies to swap shifts with you!”
Denny rubbed her nose, pushing her glasses higher. “Um, yeah.”
“Exciting!” Julie held her hand out for a high five, and Denny obliged. “Where are you taking her?”
“She’s taking me somewhere, but she won’t say where.”
Julie let out a low whistle. “So she’s wearing the pants in the relationship!”
Denny lowered her head to stare her down over the rim of her glasses. “No one’s wearing the pants in our relationship.” Okay, that sounded as if they spent their time together naked, and that—unfortunately—was not the case. “I mean, we’re equals. She’s taking me out today, and I get to decide where we’re going next time.”
Chuckling, Julie patted her arm. “Got it. Have fun.”
“Thanks.” Denny clocked out and took her phone from her locker, eager to get out of there before some emergency cropped up and delayed her. As she climbed into her Subaru, her phone cha-chunged, announcing a message from Eliza.