by Holly Jaymes
There was something about weddings that brought out the romance in everyone, as long as they had someone they could snuggle with. Even Sheriff Maddox and his ex-wife, the former supermodel, were dancing cheek to cheek. Me? I hung back in the corner as I had no one, and the few men that might have been eligible didn’t interest me.
The song ended but the standards set continued with Cole Porter’s Just One of Those Things.
“Do you want to dance?”
I startled as I hadn’t been aware of Pax’s approach.
“You want to dance with me?”
He cocked his head. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
It would have been childish and immature to give him the cold shoulder, so I shrugged. “Sure.” I followed him to the dance floor, telling myself how grown-up I was to let bygones be bygones.
We stood for a moment, looking at each other like neither of us wanted to make the first move. Finally, he put one hand up and the other reached for my waist. I took his hand and stepped closer, putting my other hand on his shoulder.
His scent enveloped me and for a moment I was back in London, walking along a canal. Crap, why does he still have to smell so good? He also looked good. When we were younger, I’d only seen him in jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. Even in his tour publicity, he was always in jeans. Tonight, he wore a tailored suit that made him look sexy as hell. Damn it!
“This song seemed appropriate for us,” he said, his lips a whisper away from my ear. I tried not to shiver as his breath brushed along my neck.
Instead, I perked my ear up to listen to the lyrics that talked about one crazy night that was too hot for it to ever last, and so the couple said goodbye, noting the night was fun, but just one of those things.
I pulled my head back to look at him. His blue-violet eyes studied me and he said, “I’ve had the feeling you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Oh? I don’t know why. I didn’t notice you coming to talk to me.”
He looked down as if he was chagrined. “I wasn’t sure I had the right to.”
“Why not? We’re old friends.” See, I could be mature, even though I’d have liked to have told him what a jerk he was to use me.
He flinched slightly. “Old friend. Right.” He looked over to where Lily and Wyatt were dancing, their gazes caught and holding like they didn’t realize there were other people in the room. I’d had a moment like that with Pax six years ago, I remembered.
“What do you think of Wyatt?” he asked me, apparently deciding to move the conversation elsewhere.
“I think Wyatt is perfect for Lily. He’s solid. He’s smart. And he’d do anything for her.” I realized I was carrying baggage about me and Pax because he hadn’t been willing to do anything for me. It was painful, but it was what it was. And I couldn’t really hold it against him that he was choosing his sister over me. Blood was thicker than water, after all. Holding on to my grudge was silly. We’d been young and impulsive. It wasn’t a love affair. It was a hookup. “He risked his job to love her. He even quit at one point and rushed off to find her before she flew off…to see you, I think,” I said.
“He got her pregnant,” Pax said, although he didn’t seem to have any judgment behind it. “I’m sure my dad would have come around.”
“For a guy who writes songs about love, you seem jaded. I mean, look at them. The only other man I’ve ever seen look at a woman like Wyatt looks at Lily is his brother Josh. He looks at my sister like that.”
“It’s great for people who can find it,” he said. “But love doesn’t always last.”
Don’t I know it. “If I were a betting woman, I’d put my money on them to make it all the way until death do they part.”
He nodded. “Good to know.”
The song ended, and I pulled away. “I should check on the cake.”
He nodded. “It was good talking to you, Victoria.”
“You too, Pax.”
He looked like he might say more, but then stopped, so I hurried off to find the bar for a stiff drink, and then to talk to the wedding planner about the cake.
Chapter 4: A Foolish Idea
Pax
There was no shortage of beautiful women in my life. It was true that musicians had access to sexy, willing women at any time. There had been times that I’d indulged in one. But none of them had so captivated me as Victoria did. As she always had from the first time that I saw her as a woman when I was seventeen. I hated that she was under my skin like that because there was no relief from the torture of longing for her. Especially since I’d so rudely left her six years ago.
But something inside me didn’t give a fuck that my brain wanted to let her go. It took one look at her today walking up the aisle in the silvery embellished dress that hugged her curves and the longing started again. All day, I watched her. She was so focused on making sure everything was going right for Lily’s big day. She laughed and joked with her sister and brother-in-law, as well as the other guests. Victoria had this way about her. She had a light that emanated from her.
At the same time, I could see she had walls up. She was lively, outgoing, friendly and yet, I could see it wasn’t completely her. Like she was wearing a mask. I wondered what that was about. Was she always like that? Was it because of me?
At the reception, when the dancing started, I noticed that she’d hidden herself away from everyone else. It seemed absurd that she didn’t have a husband or boyfriend. As beautiful as my sister was, to me, Victoria was easily the most gorgeous woman in the room. I couldn’t stop myself from approaching her. Needing a chance to touch her again, I asked her to dance. I was torturing myself because I knew nothing would come of it, but even if I just got a crumb of a taste, I had to have it.
She didn’t want to dance with me. While she continued to keep her guard up, I could see she was wary of me. I wanted to apologize for the past, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The song, the old Cole Porter standard about a couple that burns hot for a night and then cools off, felt appropriate.
I’d been sure she was avoiding me, but when I brought it up, she called me out that I hadn’t approached her until then. So maybe I was the one avoiding her. Perhaps I was reading too much into all of this. Fucking emotions were messing with my head.
After the dance, she went off to deal with wedding stuff, and I headed over to steal a dance with my sister.
“You look radiant,” I told her when we started dancing to a more modern slow song.
“I’m so happy, Pax.” She grinned at me. Then her expression turned serious. “Are you happy?”
“Sure.”
“I wish you could be as happy as me.”
I laughed. “I’m not sure that’s possible today.”
She studied me for a minute. “Is it weird to be here with Victoria?”
I shook my head. “No. Why would it be weird?” Could she tell I was lying?
She shrugged. “I know the last time you saw her was… Well, you know.”
A part of me wanted to say, “Yes I know. It was after one of the greatest days of my life that you turned into something sordid and I should have never let you do that.” But I didn’t say that.
“It was a long time ago,” I said instead.
“Do you think I was selfish?”
Yes. Yes, I do, I thought but I kept that to myself as well. “I’m sure it was awkward for you.” I nearly apologized for that except I wasn’t sorry for being with Victoria and while I’d fucked things up, I wasn’t going to express any regret for my time with her.
“It was weird. And just not right, Pax.”
I swallowed the anger. At another time and place, I might have asked what was so wrong about my caring for Victoria. Lily didn’t own me. She didn’t own Victoria. But it was her wedding and I didn’t want to cause her unease.
“I think your husband is eager to dance with you,” I said, nodding toward Wyatt who hadn’t taken his eyes off Lily since I started dancing with her.
Sh
e smiled again. “After cake, we’re heading off for our honeymoon. A night in the cabin, and then off to Europe. He’s never been.”
“Spare me the honeymoon details.” I pulled away and handed her back to Wyatt. “I’d tell you to be good to my sister, but I think you will, and of course, my father will do the honors if you don’t.”
Wyatt laughed. “Duly noted.”
I walked away, and unable to help myself, I scanned the room for Victoria. I caught the back of her leaving the large room, heading outside. It was fucking cold out, and I wondered what she was doing, especially since she didn’t have a coat.
I followed her out. She’d made her way along a path to the edge of the lake. She shivered and rubbed her arms as she inhaled the cold night air.
I took my coat off as I approached her. “You’ll freeze if you stay out here too long.”
Again, she startled and I felt bad for interrupting her quiet moment. She turned and gave me her standard smile. “Just needed a little air.”
I nodded as I studied her face. She had features that gave off both an exotic and girl-next-door vibe.
“I forgot to congratulate you on your successful business. I think it’s great what you’ve done,” I said. Maybe if I acted normal, we’d get back to normal. At one time, being with her was so easy. We’d talked about anything and everything.
“Thank you. And you…stopped selling your songs and started singing them instead.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets because I had an urge to touch her. “I guess we both realized it was better to own our talents than sell them to someone else.”
“I guess so.”
We stood in silence for a time. I felt like I should leave her, but couldn’t. “Will you be staying in Eden Lake after the wedding? I know your sister lives here now.”
“I’m heading to Vegas.”
“Oh?”
“Business.” That was the only explanation she gave. “What about you?”
“I’ve got some business too and then I’ll head back to London.” I didn’t mention my own trip to Vegas. Chances were I’d be too busy and then I was heading home. A part of me thought I should change my plans. When would I have another chance to fix things with her? But then I thought there really was no fixing. I could apologize and we could move on. Her forgiveness was the best I could hope for.
A tendril of her upswept hair blew in the wind. Unable to stop myself, I used my fingers to hook it behind her ear.
Her eyes flashed with surprise and something else. I didn’t think it was anger, but I couldn’t be sure.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“For what?”
“For leaving like I did six years ago.”
She turned to look back out over the lake. “It was probably for the best. Lily was upset.”
“Even so, I should have stuck around. I wanted to.”
She looked at me again. Her eyes had gone softer, like her wall had thinned. Her eyes were bright. Her cheeks pink from the cold. She was so stunningly beautiful; it stole my breath.
Finding my voice to confess even more, I said, “It felt wrong to play your song at Lily’s wedding.” Her breath hitched, and I knew for sure that she’d recognized it. “She heard me playing it once, and decided she wanted it. I wasn’t sure how to deny her.”
Victoria’s gaze jerked away. “You could have told her the title.”
Her words stabbed at my heart. She was right. Even now, I was running away instead of confronting Lily.
“I could have.” I stood next to her, wishing I could say something to make everything alright. But to what end? We were in the same predicament that we’d been in before.
She let out a breath. “My business… It was your idea. I should thank you for that.”
“I’m glad to have inspired you.” I took a breath. “My first hit, All Night in London was about you and our night together.”
She turned to me, once again, her eyes soft. “I’d wondered.”
The breeze blew her hair again, and this time, when I pushed it back, I left my fingers on her jaw, my thumb brushing her cheek.
Her blue eyes watched me. I let my gaze drift from her eyes down to her plump pink lips. I still remembered how they tasted, and I desperately wanted another hit. I looked into her eyes again, wondering what she’d think or do if I indulged in my need to kiss her.
Taking a chance, I leaned forward, brushing my lips over hers. Her breath hitched, but she didn’t pull away. Her sweetness radiated out, and I moaned and started to reach for her to pull her in and fully consume her.
“Victoria.” A woman's voice called through the darkness.
Victoria jerked back. She looked up at me a little stunned and then stepped away, turning to the voice. “Is everything okay, Allie?”
“Oh, there you are. They’re getting ready to cut the cake. Lily is looking for you.”
Victoria kept her head down as she turned to me. “I’ve got to go. Take care, Pax.”
No! It screamed inside me like a feral beast. My sister ruined things again. But then I remembered Victoria was going to Vegas. She’d be there while Lily was off on her honeymoon.
I looked out over the water, wondering what I was thinking. Well, I knew what I was thinking. I was thinking I could have Victoria again. Busy or not, I could find the time. But that was a fool’s idea. It would be better to avoid her. To let the past stay in the past. Of course, now that I’d had another taste of her, being a fool seemed like a good idea.
Chapter 5: No Escape
Victoria
Oh my God. My brain was in a freefall. What was I doing kissing Pax? I started to leave him but remembered his coat. I shrugged it off my shoulders, handed it to him with a curt, “Thanks” and then made my way up to the reception.
I didn’t look at Allie as I passed her on the front area of the building. I couldn’t look her in the eyes if she’d seen my liplock with Pax. I headed into the reception and to Lily.
“Hey girl, where have you been?” she asked.
“Why?” God, can she tell? Was the deliciousness of his lips showing on my mouth?
She frowned. “Just curious. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, great. Are you cutting the cake?” I wish I could get my brain to work right.
Lily and Wyatt cut the cake, and served each other then kissed. It was exactly like one would expect it to go. So lovely. So sweet. So romantic. Especially when Sasha did the countdown to New Year, and everyone welcomed the turn of the year with a cheer and kissing the one they were with. Except me, of course. Pax was nowhere to be seen, and if he’d been there, he and I wouldn’t have kissed. Even if I was craving one more taste. Kissing him was off-limits. Not in front of Lily.
After the cake, Wyatt made a show of removing Lily’s garter although I thought he had one eye on the sheriff as his hands slid under her dress. Then Lily threw the bouquet and I was careful to be as far away from it as I could. The entire time, I wasn’t sure where Pax was. I wondered if he’d left.
Soon, Lily and Wyatt were making their exit to spend one night in the cabin where it all started, or so she said, and then they were headed off to Europe. I hung around until the guests left, and only me and Sasha remained, along with the caterers and cleanup crew.
“Whew,” I said, taking a seat as the caterers clanged around in the kitchen and the cleaning crew cleared the tables.
“I feel like I haven’t earned my fee,” Sasha said, sitting across from me.
“What are you talking about? This day went perfectly. Lily is over the moon.”
“I know, but a big part of that was you. Maybe I need to pay you some of what I earned.”
I waved her comment away. “Nah. I’m just overinvolved. I’m lucky you didn’t tell me to butt out.”
“If that cosmetics thing doesn’t work out, you have a future in wedding planning.”
I laughed. “Good to know.”
“I tell you; I’ve seen celebrities around Eden Lake, but I’v
e never been in a situation to spend so much time with them. I mean…Lily Maddox. And holy crap, Pax Ryder. I hadn’t realized they were related.”
“I think he did that on purpose,” I said, trying to forget the kiss, which was hard because his taste was still on my lips.
“I thought he’d be different.” She had a wistful smile on her face. “But he’s really nice. Down to earth.”
“He is. Do you want me to introduce you?” See, the kiss meant nothing, except my insides screamed, she better say no, or I might have to scratch her eyes out. Damn it.
“Oh my God, that would be great, but no.”
“Why?” I asked and then questioned my sanity. Take the no, I told myself.
“I’m just a girl from a small town. That life isn’t for me. And my life isn’t for him.”
“He’s not one to change his life for a woman,” I agreed.
“Really? I guess you know him pretty well.”
“Well enough,” I said simply. Not wanting to talk about Pax, I asked, “Is there anything I can do to help you finish up here?”
“No. You’ve done so much already. I’m sure some of the guests are off celebrating in a cabin. You should join them. It’s the New Year!”
“I’m beat. I’m heading to bed.”
We both rose from our chairs.
“Thank you again, Victoria. This was such a great experience and you helped make it so.”
“Careful, I just might ask for a commission after all.”
She laughed. “Have a good evening.”
I headed back to the cabin. Tonight, I’d be by myself. For a moment, I wondered what would have happened if I’d invited Pax back here. Then I pushed it away. It was best not to go there.
Still, when there was a knock on the door, I wondered if maybe he found me.
I opened the door. “Allie.”
“Were you expecting Pax?”
I put on my best confused expression. “What?”
She arched a brow and then walked in past me. “I saw you by the lake.”