The Single Wife : 'Liane Moriarty meets Elin Hilderbrand in an addictive summer read'

by Ella Grey

  Olivia gaped. As if she was seeing other men left, right and centre! Matt was the first, the only man she’d even thought about seeing seriously since Peter – how dare she? Again, she bit her tongue. There was no point in arguing over this. The woman had made her point and, as Ellie’s grandmother, she did have a right to make it. But she had a bloody cheek all the same, considering.

  This weekend though, she was just going to enjoy her free time, and not be worrying about Teresa or indeed Catherine.

  “I just didn’t know what to do or say,” Leah’s confused tones brought Olivia back to the present. In the meantime apparently Kate had rung and apologised for letting Leah down.

  “She said we’d definitely arrange it again soon, but, to be honest, I don’t want to be the one to do the arranging, as I seem to pick my moments.” Leah told Olivia. “But she says Dylan seems good now, which is great.”

  “Well, your birthday’s coming up soon,” Olivia reminded her. “So we’ll all be getting together for that?”

  Leah shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’d have the energy to organise a bash, especially since it’s not all that long since the launch party. I might just have a quiet dinner somewhere, just a few of us.”

  “Are you sure? Seems a bit dull compared to all that fuss you made for mine – and Kate’s.”

  Olivia smiled to herself. Despite her reticence, Leah’s birthday might turn out to be a much bigger cause for celebration than she’d expected. She’d had a conversation with Josh recently one night at Leah’s a little while after the launch party, which led her to suspect that he might be working up to a proposal. Normally jocular, he had been strangely serious, asking questions about Peter and their break-up back in college.

  “You loved one another deeply, didn’t you? You and Peter?” he asked, while Leah was out of earshot.

  “Of course,” Olivia said, a little taken aback at his directness.

  “But Leah said that you had some problems, back before you two got engaged. Do you mind if I ask you what changed your mind?”

  Olivia immediately deduced that he was trying to place his feelings about Leah in context. Some men were like that. For years, they could just go along in a relationship, never really questioning their feelings, never really wondering where the relationship was going.

  “You mean, why did I change my mind about breaking up with him?”

  Josh nodded.

  “I just had a case of cold feet,” she said shrugging. “The two of us had been together all throughout college, and as far as everyone else, including Peter, was concerned, we would be together for the long term. It’s difficult to explain now, but I just felt a bit trapped, I suppose. So, I panicked, and one day I told him that I wasn’t sure about us any more, that I wanted some time alone to get my head together.”

  “But it wasn’t that simple.” Josh stated.

  Then Leah came into the kitchen and the conversation ended.

  It was so obvious that he was going to propose – likely for her thirtieth birthday – but Olivia wasn’t about to tell Leah that. She was so pleased for her.

  “Wow, Olivia, you have it bad,” Leah said, grinning and bringing her sharply back to the present.

  “What?”

  “When are we all going to meet Matt properly? That first time, I barely had a chance to talk to him before you bundled him off. Nervous I might work my charms on him, were you?”

  Olivia laughed. Of course she wanted the others to get to know him, but she still wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to admit to herself – let alone the others – that she might have a future with him. She couldn’t remember the last time she enjoyed herself so much, the last time she had laughed so much with any man other than Peter, the last time she had felt so happy. But, with the strange and definitely disconcerting situation with Catherine, she thought grimly, it was difficult to know at this early stage if she and Matt had any future.

  “Sometime soon,” she said, and then added wickedly, “if Mammy Catherine allows it.”

  Leah laughed. “Don’t mind her. She might be a good friend now, but Matt is a big boy and well able to make his own decisions.”

  “It’s weird though. I’d swear the woman is spying on me. The other day, I called a plumber out to fix my washing machine, and later that evening Matt came over and oh-so-casually asked me if I’d had a visitor. I couldn’t believe it. Catherine obviously must have been trying to suggest I was having it off with the plumber.”

  It had been really strange and rather worrying to think that Catherine was watching her every move. The tables were being well and truly turned, she thought with a grin, remembering her own curtain-twitching.

  “Silly cow obviously has nothing better to be doing,” Leah tut-tutted. “Next thing you know she’ll have one of those surveillance cameras on you, probably trying to catch you and Matt doing the deed.” She shook her head. “Nosy wagon.”

  “Speaking of cameras, I still have your camcorder. Josh left it in the boot of the car on the night of the party.” Olivia was designated driver that night, and had driven the two home.

  “Believe me, there’s no rush,” Leah drawled. “That footage might never seen the light of day. Apparently it’s a big deal to get it all transferred onto disc, and I haven’t a notion, so …”

  “Why not just pop the tape into one of those adaptors? I’ve got one at home. And we’re finished here, aren’t we? Fancy spending the night in Lakeview and we can watch it tonight? I want to give you back the camcorder anyway. I’d be afraid something might happen to it – Ellie might pick it up or –”

  “Yeah, I love the idea of quiet night at yours. Perfect.”

  Later back in Lakeview, Leah swung her legs beneath her and got comfortable on Olivia’s couch.

  “The party seems like so long ago already,” she groaned, fiddling with the remote. “Back then when I was so innocent and thought that the business was mine and mine alone. I hadn’t bargained for Amanda Clarke.”

  “It’ll be funny. She was preening and practically drooling at the camera all night,” Olivia said.

  “Well as long as she wasn’t drooling over the cameraman I don’t mind,” Leah laughed. She pressed play on the VCR remote control and watched excitedly as images from the party appeared onscreen. “Oh look, there’s Kate. Wow, I’d almost forgotten she was still pregnant then. Doesn’t she look great?”

  Olivia had to agree that Kate did look great, much more like her old carefree self. It was disconcerting to hear from Leah that she was struggling lately.

  “And look, there’s bloody Amanda again – pretending that she doesn’t know the camera is on her,” Leah groaned. Then she let out a horrified squeal. “Aw, why didn’t you tell me that dress made me look like a heifer?”

  “What? You didn’t look like a heifer, you looked gorgeous.”

  “Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but there is no disguising the fact that my backside looks like the back of a bus in that.”

  “Ah, probably the television, I think it could be set on widescreen or something,” Olivia argued.

  “Josh’s camera work isn’t too bad actually,” Leah commented then. “He can be a bit zoom-happy sometimes. Oh look, he got some great shots out front – my goodness, I still can’t believe that’s my store – can you believe it, my very own store!”

  Olivia smiled at her friend’s almost childlike delight. She was thrilled it was all going so well for her. With all the work she’d done, not just now but throughout the years, Leah deserved every bit of her success.

  Next the camera seemed to swerve sharply downwards towards the pavement, and for a few minutes all they could see were the tips of Josh’s shoes.

  “Just when I said he was doing so well …” Leah groaned, as the camera seemed to focus on the ground and a pair of feet came into view.

  “Nice shoes,” Leah noted.

  “Great, while he’s chatting to guests, the tape’s still ru
nning. No wonder it ran out so quickly. I wonder who he’s talking to?” She picked up the remote and hit the volume control.

  A flirtatious giggle … a male laugh … and instantly it was obvious that something was dangerously off kilter.

  Josh’s voice could clearly be heard. “… didn’t know you were living around here these days.”

  “Didn’t know you were a cameraman in your spare time either.”

  “Here, give me the remote,” Olivia urged. “Fast-forward through that, there’s nothing to see and – ”

  “Leave it.” The words sounded like bullets.

  “Leah, I really don’t know if –”

  “I said leave it.”

  Her heart pounding, Olivia sat back and said nothing.

  Josh’s voice again. “So how have you been?”

  “Great and you?” Chirpily.

  “OK.”

  “What’s going on in there?”

  Warily. “Leah’s launch night – she’s inside.”

  A smile in the woman’s voice voice. “I see.” The feet turned and pointed towards the store, and Olivia deduced whoever the woman was she was trying to get a peek inside. “So you two are still together then.”

  “Sharon …”

  “Sharon?” Leah repeated out loud, almost to herself.

  “You know her?” Olivia asked, relieved.

  “Yeah, I know her. Josh’s ex.”

  “Oh.”

  Olivia stopped short, as Josh’s voice again came through all-too-clearly.

  “ … just one night. I never meant for it to –”

  Leah’s face paled, and she put a hand to her mouth.

  Olivia’s gaze stayed glued to the screen, horrified.

  “Hey don’t beat yourself up about it. Old times’ sake and all that.” A coquettish laugh.

  “Oh god…” Leah intoned, her eyes wide and sorrowful.

  “I’d better go back inside …”

  “No problem. Nice to see you again. And hey, don’t worry, I’m not in the habit of wrecking other people’s relationships. I’m a big girl.”

  Josh now sounded decidedly standoffish. “Right. Look, I’d better go. See you around.”

  Then sudden movement, as the camera swerved, and Josh seemed to walk back inside. Then they heard Kate’s voice. “Josh over there – quickly. She’s about to make her speech.”

  Then the screen went dark for a second until the camera cut this time to Leah, beaming delightedly at her boyfriend on her big night.

  38

  Leah’s hands shook as she turned the key in the door to the apartment. She didn’t think it was possible to feel such a mix of emotions all at once.

  But as soon as she saw Josh dozing on the sofa, obviously not long back from work, one particular emotion came sharply into focus – betrayal.

  Her legs felt like jelly. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with this. She had watched a replay of the video three times, and each time things were even clearer. Josh had spent the night with his ex-girlfriend. There was no other explanation, despite Olivia’s protestations.

  “You can’t just jump to conclusions – they could be talking about anything,” her friend had said.

  “Oh, come on, Olivia. ‘Just one night?’ ‘For old times sake?’ What else could they be talking about?”

  “Go home and talk to Josh about it first– show him the tape, and see what he says. Whatever you do, don’t accuse him straight out because you could have the complete wrong end of the stick.”

  “Olivia, I know as my friend that you’re only trying to make me feel better, but we’re not teenagers. There could only be one end of the bloody stick.”

  How could she have been so stupid? How could she have been so naïve in thinking that she and Josh were back on track? Things had been a bit rough while she was getting the shop set up because they rarely saw one another, but after the opening, it was as though things were better than ever.

  But that wasn’t it, Leah saw now. It wasn’t that things were getting back to normal – it was that Josh was feeling guilty.

  Now there he was sprawled indolently on the couch, oblivious. For a brief second, Leah wished that she could go back in time and never have seen that video.

  “Wake up!” she cried, throwing a cushion at him, adrenaline pumping through her veins as the anger slowly began to take over. On one hand, she wanted to keep throwing cushions at him all night, on another she wanted him to take her in his arms, give her a perfectly reasonable explanation, and they would both laugh at her silliness.

  “Lee? What?” He sat up, eyes blinking in the bright light. “What time is it?”

  Leah didn’t answer, and a sudden calmness seemed to descend upon her as she crossed the room. She took the disc out of her handbag and put it into the machine.

  “What’s this? Oh, is it the launch party? Olivia finally gave back the video then. Is it any good?”

  “Depends on how you look at it,” Leah said flatly.

  He looked at her and grimaced. “Ah no, don’t tell me I messed it up again, did I? Aw I’m sorry – I probably had one two many – the focus might be all over the place.”

  “No, the focus is just fine, Josh. It’s the sound that could have been little bit clearer, actually.”

  “You know what these things are like – with all that music in the background, and people chattering amongst themselves …”

  Amazing, Leah thought. He had absolutely no idea, no clue at all he’d been caught. Strange how you think you know someone so well and, once the mask had been removed, everything seemed to come sharply into focus.

  “Hey, I think I’m doing all right so far,” Josh said, smiling at the screen. “Why are you standing up? Come and sit down. I know you’ve seen this already, but I haven’t …”

  He trailed off, following her gaze back to the TV screen, just as a pair of silver strappy shoes and red toenails came into view. For a few seconds he just stared at the footage and when Leah increased the volume, and he heard his voice come through loud and clear all the blood seemed to drain from his face.

  “Lee –”

  “Hush Josh, I’m trying to hear what you’re saying. You know, you’re right – it is almost impossible to make out what people are saying over the music and the crowd. So, how did Sharon enjoy the party? Funnily enough, I didn’t see her there.”

  He looked at her then and despite Olivia’s insistence that there might be any explanation, one look at his expression told her that there was only be one.

  “I’m so sorry,” Josh croaked.

  At this, at hearing the admission so simply, so easily, a wave of emotion crashed over Leah, engulfing her in sorrow, disappointment, regret, anger.

  I’m so sorry. In a way, she wished that he would try to deny it. But there was no denial. The facts were straightforward. Josh had cheated on her, plain and simple.

  “It had nothing to do with you – with us,” he was saying, his voice now a sharp contrast to his joviality earlier. “I love you – I still love you. You’re the best thing that’s ever –”

  “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m even hearing this. I’m the most important thing? You still love me? What do you think this is – some poxy soap opera? How dare you admit to cheating on me and then have the cheek – the gall to say that it had nothing to do with me. Me – who agreed to love and stay with you, who put aside my own hopes and desire for a family because I thought I had found someone special. Someone I thought would be enough. How dare you turn around and tell me that it had nothing to do with me.”

  “But it’s true! It was a stupid situation, a crazy drunken thing. I met Sharon one night in town and – ”

  Leah cut him off. “Stop it. I don’t want to know.” But she did, of course she did, yet at the same time, hearing how it happened would make it all the more real, and she didn’t think she could handle that.

  “I had no idea the tape was still running, I had no idea ...” He put his head in his hands.r />
  “I see. So you would have been quite happy to keep it all a secret, happy to keep me in the dark.”

  “I wanted to tell you but – Lee, it was a mistake – a massive mistake.”

  “Yes, it certainly was.”

  “You and I were in a bit of rut – you admitted that yourself. You were so wrapped up in getting the shop ready and we just weren’t spending any time together any more. You were totally preoccupied – ”

  “Oh, I see. So poor little Josh wasn’t getting the attention he wanted, the attention he deserved. So instead he decides to get it elsewhere – but not just anyone would do. Couldn’t you have picked up some stranger from somewhere, Josh, if you wanted it that badly? Why did it have to be someone you knew, for goodness sake?”

  And how dare he suggest that she was too preoccupied with the shop to give him the attention he deserved. What about the support she deserved? She’d been working her backside off trying to get this going – trying to get them the life they wanted. She knew Josh didn’t want to spend the rest of his life under his father’s thumb, and she had always thought that success in the shop meant that he could scale down a bit, and maybe start doing something for himself. Now, he had gone and ruined it all.

  “Love, this is all my fault and I’m not blaming you at all. I suppose I’m just trying to let you know my state of mind at the time. You have to admit yourself that things weren’t great between us.”

  “But that doesn’t give you the right …” She trailed off, shaking her head. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined this. Somehow she had always thought too much of Josh, had believed him to be an infinitely decent person, which is why she didn’t have to think too long about making the sacrifice of never having children with him. She thought she had found the elusive ‘One’ and, although things were never going to be exactly as she wanted them, she thought that she had enough. She loved Josh enough, was sure that he loved her too, and there was nothing or no one that could keep them apart.