Living Separate Lives

by Paulette Harper

  “Jordan, are you okay?” Kaylan peered at her. “Is something bothering you? I can tell you are in another place and time. That’s what this weekend is for: so we can bond, get free, and allow God to heal us.”

  Tiffany moved her chair closer and looked Jordan directly in the eyes. “I’m sure we got a whole lot to talk about this weekend.” Tiffany continued to emphasize her point. “These men… I just don’t know about them. Some of them don’t want to commit, some of them want to sleep around, and some of them don’t know when they have a good woman.” It appeared that Tiffany wanted to continue her rant, but the look Jordan gave her indicated that it was time to move on. “Oops, my bad. Sorry, Kaylan, you were talking to Jordan, huh?”

  The room fell silent. Jordan nodded, but didn’t smile. “Something is, but I’ll wait ‘til later to talk about it. I don’t want to spoil our dinner,” she said sadly. Kaylan saw the worry in Jordan’s eyes as well as her effort to try and control her emotions.

  The look of shock was evident on Kaylan’s face. Those words pierced her sharply as though a knife had been thrust in her chest. What in the world was Tiffany talking about when she said “Men sleeping around”? Whose husband was she referring to? Considering there are only two married women at the retreat, she is either talking about Bryan or Eric. And I know she ain’t talking about my husband, Kaylan pondered.

  Kaylan took a sip of coffee before she spoke. “Now Tiffany done got me wondering what she’s talking about.” She stared at Jordan and reached for her hand. “Jordan, when you’re ready, we are all ears.” Out of the corner of her eye, she took a glimpse at Candace, who was squirming in her seat.

  Kaylan leaned back in her chair and looked at the three of them. They had been friends since high school, but she wondered if she really knew them as well as she thought. It was quite obvious that Tiffany knew something about somebody’s husband. Jordan was going through a major test, and Candace was uncomfortable, but why? Lord, please don’t let nothing jump off up in here.

  After dinner, they headed over to the guest house to relax, but Jordan could barely contain herself. As much as she tried to suppress her emotions, Jordan doubled over and began sobbing when she entered the living room. Her head collapsed in her hands and her tears were unrestrained. Seeing Kaylan’s happy parents only reminded her of the life she wished she could have.

  Tiffany and Candace grabbed Jordan, putting their arms around her waist. They ushered her to the white, three-piece sofa and helped her sit down. Tiffany and Candace plopped themselves down, one on each side of her.

  Kaylan hurried to the bathroom to get some tissue. When she returned, Jordan reached for one of the tissues and blew her nose. Without being asked and in between the sobs, Jordan told the ladies that Eric had asked for a divorce and was seeing another woman. A disapproving silence filled the air as she continued with her heart-breaking news. The more she shared, the louder her voice became.

  Kaylan stood directly in front of them and stared at Jordan intently. She could hear the anguish in her friend’s voice. “What? No, Jordan. Eric is cheating on you?” She covered her mouth with her hands.

  Tiffany rolled her neck and eyes. “Oh, believe it, girl. Yes, Eric is having an affair with some trifling home wrecker.” Tiffany wasted no time continuing the discussion. “Yeah, and Jordan called the woman, too.” But Jordan didn’t want them to know about the phone call. She did dial the number, but hung up after the phone connected. She was afraid to face the woman that stole her husband’s heart.

  Jordan raised her voice. “Tiffany, is this my story or what? Let me tell it.” Tiffany’s eyes grew wide. But she acknowledged that Jordan was right. It was her story and her pain, and if she wanted Candace and Kaylan to know more, it would have to come from her. “I’m so sorry; please forgive me.”

  Candace’s pulse quickened with guilt. It wasn’t easy to dismiss what she was hearing and seeing. The guilt was eating her alive. Her stomach was churning. Her palms were sweating. Her heart was pounding so loudly, that she was sure anyone in the room could hear it. She felt like running, but where would she go? How would she get there? She tuned Jordan and the other ladies out and focused on her own plight. She knew if they found out that she was the other woman, they would all give her a beat-down. She might not get out of Napa County alive. Oh, dear Lord, help me. No point in calling on the Lord now; this was her mess that she created. Chalk it up to another bad decision that will probably cost me dearly. There is absolutely nothing good going to come from this. I really hate my life now, she thought.

  Candace first learned about Derrick’s wife when she found the photos of his family in his pocket. Since she had lost contact with her friends years ago, she was unaware of who each one had married. When Derrick entered her life, he never made mention of who his wife was, only that they were about to divorce. But when she learned that Jordan was the one, she immediately knew that it had to end. Consequently, Derrick’s, or rather Eric’s charm was too much for her to relinquish. And because she was no longer close friends with Jordan, she was able to continue the affair without guilt. That is until now.

  “Candace, are you listening?” It was obvious that she was engrossed in her own thoughts. “Did you hear Jordan?” Kaylan’s voice triggered Candace back to the present.

  “I’m sorry. I was just thinking about what Jordan told us,” said Candace. I should come clean before this gets out of hand. A flashback of Jordan beating up Stacie in high school crossed her mind. I am so messed up, Candace thought.

  Kaylan spoke. “Jordan said she’s going to call the woman right now. She wants to hear what the voice of the home wrecker sounds like. Jordan is ready to face this Goliath and maybe give that woman a good cussing out. Well, Jordan didn’t say that last part; that came from me.”

  Kaylan and Tiffany continued baiting Jordan until she pulled out her cell phone from her purse. She retrieved the number from the sheet of paper she tucked in one of the zippered compartments in her purse, and dialed the number.

  When the call went through, it sounded as though the ring was coming from one of the bedrooms. “Whose phone is that ringing?” Kaylan crossed her arms and asked. “It’s not mine. My phone is at the main house,” Kaylan added.

  “My phone is turned off,” Tiffany answered.

  Jordan pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at Candace. “Where is your phone?” Jordan paused for Candace to respond. But when she didn’t, Jordan jumped from the white sofa, dropping the phone on the floor. Jordan and Candace made a mad dash to their bedroom (like two athletes running the 100-yard dash) in search of the ringing phone. When they got in the room, Jordan discovered that the ring was coming from Candace’s purse, which was sitting on top of her luggage.

  Tiffany and Kaylan looked at each other awkwardly. Tiffany picked the phone up off the floor and disconnected the call. Without hesitation, they followed Candace and Jordan to the bedroom. “If something is going to go down, I am not going to miss any action,” Tiffany said under her breath.

  “Did you know about this, Tiffany?” Kaylan questioned her.

  “No. I’m just as surprised as you are. I know this is not happening. This is wrong on so many levels.”

  When Tiffany and Kaylan arrived in the room, they witnessed Jordan and Candace having a tug-of-war with Candace’s knock-off purse. “Candace, you better not be the other woman. If you are, you ain’t getting out of here alive. I’m going to kick your butt something bad,” Jordan said angrily.

  Tiffany and Kaylan were stunned and speechless. They stood there with their mouths wide open. The last time they heard Jordan talk like that was in high school when she beat the heck out of Stacie Green after the basketball game.

  Tiffany and Kaylan jumped in the middle of the brawl. Tiffany grabbed Jordan by the waist while Kaylan grabbed Candace.

  “Stop this, right now!” Tiffany yelled.

  Kaylan looked intensely at Jordan. “Let the purse go. We are going to find out the truth, right Ca
ndace?”

  “Okay. If I call that number again and it’s your phone, there is going to be some trouble. You know what I mean? Do you get me?” Jordan’s eyes glanced at Candace. Tiffany and Kaylan released their grip on the women and stood in front of them.

  Sweeping her right hand across her forehead to get rid of sweat, Candace clinched her purse with the other hand.

  Kaylan spoke in a quiet voice. “Let’s calm down. There is not going to be any fighting going on here. We are adults, and this is going to be handled in an adult manner.”

  Tiffany chimed in cautiously, “Agreed. Jordan, what happened to those scriptures you been quoting? You can’t be fighting nobody. You know what the Bible says: ‘For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against spirits in high places.’ That’s how it goes, right?” Tiffany paused and waited for a response.

  With her hands on her hips, Jordan said, “You serious?” She let out a long breath. “Tiffany, call the number.”

  Candace licked her lips and responded, “You don’t have to call the number. I’m so sorry, Jordan. I’m the other woman. I have been having an affair with Eric. But it’s not what you think. At first I didn’t know he was married, and I definitely didn’t know he was married to you! I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

  Jordan gasped. Tiffany and Kaylan stared at her with the most disgusted look they could muster. Candace began sobbing uncontrollably, making a spectacle of herself. She begged and pleaded with Jordan for forgiveness.

  In between the sobs, Candace began to explain how she and Eric met: “During Christmas, I went out for dinner and there he was at the bar. He approached me and we began talking. Believe me, I didn’t go there to pick up any man and I didn’t know he was married or married to Jordan. We exchanged phone numbers, and the rest… I don’t need to go into all the sordid details.”

  Jordan wasn’t moved by Candace’s emotional outburst. One minute later into the theatrics, Jordan shot in between Tiffany and Kaylan, got in Candace’s face, and slapped her. Tiffany and Kaylan grabbed Jordan and pulled her away from Candace. Candace looked dazed and stood with her mouth wide open.

  Jordan screamed, “How could you, Candace. You know what? Just get out of my face. What you’ve done is inexcusable.”

  Confused, Kaylan stared at Candace. “You told me his name was Derrick and that he died.” She tilted her head to one side. “What is wrong with you? Who makes up something like that? You’re sick!” She raised her voice three octaves.

  Tiffany added her two cents. “You should be ashamed of yourself! How dare you smile in our face, all the while knowing that you are sleeping with Jordan’s husband! You know what they call women like you? A home wrecker is the polite word.”

  They waited for her to respond. Her voice cracked. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I am so sorry for hurting all of you.” She stared down at the floor. “Please forgive me.”

  “Shut up!” Jordan ordered. “I don’t want to hear another word from those lying lips. Sleeping with my husband? That’s low. You know what? Ya’ll deserve each other.”

  Kaylan crossed her arms and jumped in Candace’s face. She stood still, but inside she wanted to slap Candace, too. “You come telling me that sorry story about you wanting to change and all the bad decisions you made,” Kaylan hollered. “Yada, yada, yada. How could you?”

  Tiffany shook her head. They were not buying Candace’s confessions or her momentary act of remorse. They were done with her. No matter what she said, or how she said it, they wanted her gone.

  “I’m going to call the limo driver to come and pick you up,” Kaylan said sadly. “Get your stuff. I just can’t believe you would do this. Obviously, your judgment has been clouded.”

  Chapter 10

  Candace picked up her belongings and headed to the front door. Her cries intensified with each step she took. She refused to look back at them because last time she did, their eyes told the story. They loathed her and she knew it; she felt dirty. She grabbed some tissue and waited outside for the limo to arrive. She knew she had lost her friends because of her own self-destructive behavior. Today’s disaster had to have been the worst. The guilt and condemnation she felt was even deeper now than ever before.

  Ten minutes later, the limo driver pulled up. He walked around and opened the door to the passenger’s side, helping Candace get situated. His instructions were to take her back to her apartment. The sound of the limo door closing assured the ladies that she was gone, possibly gone for good, or at least gone for an indefinite period of time.

  On the ride back to her place, Candace rehearsed painful memories of past conversations with her mother and sister. Candace’s demons of low self-worth, rejection, and insecurities crept in again. The venom in her soul had been there as long as she could remember. She wished she could have stood up against her mother and sister to dismiss their negativity, but courage was not one of her strengths. Those voices were ringing louder and stronger in her mind. “You will never amount to anything. Your life ain’t worth living.” These words played in her mind like a scratched record. “Maybe they are right. My life is not worth living,” she voiced out loud.

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  Kaylan, Tiffany, and Jordan collected themselves, walked back into the living room, and sat down on the sofa. They continued to console their friend, Jordan, in hopes that something either one of them said would help her deal with what just went down. What was planned as a perfect weekend, had turned into a total catastrophe and an unforgettable experience for all involved. Kaylan knew that Jordan was going to need help dealing with the distrust and betrayal she now felt.

  There was a long silence before Kaylan spoke. “Jordan, I am so sorry about what just happened,” Kaylan said cautiously. “This definitely is not how I planned this weekend to be.”

  Tiffany shook her head and eyed Jordan. “I just can’t believe what went down.”

  Tears traveled down Jordan’s cheeks. “You can’t believe it? Me either. Who would have ever thought my friend would be sleeping with my husband. Her of all people. I am so done with both of them. Y’all should have let me beat her down.” Obviously Jordan was distraught. Deep down inside, she knew that was not the answer. Her fighting days were over, but today she put aside all her Biblical teachings.

  Kaylan nodded. “I understand how you feel. What are you going to do?”

  Jordan twisted her face as if in deep thought. “When I get back home, I’m putting his butt out.” A sense of dread came over her. “As much as I believe in marriage and hate divorce, I will not stay with someone who cheated on me. Some lines you just don’t cross.”

  Tiffany raised an eyebrow. “I know that’s right. Make sure you call Pastor and talk with him. Counseling right about now will do you some good.”

  The whole episode made her angrier. Her eyes were protruding and when she spoke, her lips curled. “I just can’t believe it. Why would she do this to me?” Jordan questioned. She held back more tears. “I wasn’t prepared for this one,” she admitted.

  “We had lunch a few weeks ago,” said Kaylan, “and she told me the dude was dead. I mean, how do people do it? She looked me dead in the face and told me that bold-face lie. I even gave her a fat check to help her get on her feet.”

  Tiffany leaned forward now. “Oooh wee, Kaylan. I bet you wish you could stop payment on that one. Wow, she fooled you big time.” The last thing Kaylan needed at this point was a reminder of how much money she had given Candace. She felt like a complete fool. The one person she thought wouldn’t take advantage of her generosity tricked her out of a bundle.

  Jordan’s eyes widened. “She had absolutely no conviction then and definitely no conviction now. That show she put on today did not move me one bit. The nerve of her.”

  “Hold that thought.” Kaylan stood and strolled to the kitchen to get something cold to drink for the women. She grabbed the bottles of water from the refrigerator and retuned a minute later. She handed them the water bottles. They unscrew
ed the caps and took a swig.

  After reclaiming her seat, she leaned back on the couch. Kaylan offered a slight smile. “Even though Candace has hurt us, there is a lesson I believe God is trying to teach us. No one is more hurt than Jordan; that goes without saying. Deception is no friend to anyone. Regardless of what she did, we have been Christians long enough to know that we have to practice what our pastors have been preaching to us.”

  “Well, I’m just going to be honest. I am too overwhelmed with all these emotions to even think right.” Jordan’s emotions were pulling her in many different directions. She was furious, battered, and heartbroken. The pieces of her life had crumbled right before her eyes. Yet, there was a peace she felt, but could not understand.

  Tiffany looked stone-faced. “I know. Sometimes forgiving is so hard, especially when you have been hurt really bad.” She took a sip of her water. “Sometimes the person you love the most could be the person you should distrust the most.”

  Jordan arched forward and peered at Kaylan. “Although I’m totally ticked off, hurt, disappointed, and want to lash out, I know the Word of God will help us get through these trials. I know we must forgive because if we don’t, God will not forgive us.”

  “As long as I’ve been saved, I never experienced anything like this,” Tiffany confessed.

  Jordan chimed in. “Last week’s sermon was taken from Deuteronomy 20:4 ‘For the Lord your God is He who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’ Well ladies, I flunked this test, big time. I realized I got all in the flesh.” Her lower lip quivered while explaining her behavior. “I slapped Candace. That was so wrong. Just like I have to forgive Candace and Eric, I need God to forgive me.”

  Tiffany and Kaylan nodded. They knew she was telling the truth. She was not the only person that had crossed the line today. Although Candace’s behavior was erroneous and unthinkable, they too allowed their flesh to rise. They had all heard sermons that would have at least prepared them for how to handle the situation in a more tactful manner.