Tangled Innocence

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Sorry. I’m just thinking.” Well, it was the truth, though Lexi wasn’t about to tell Cailin what she was actually thinking about.

  “Do I want to know what about?” Cailin asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

  It was May and summer was already starting its angry burn across the rest of the country, but in the Northwest, it was still a bit cool with the cloud cover. Plus, the Pack’s den was situated between two cliff faces and surrounded by tall trees. Though not actually Redwoods, they were close. It was a running joke—like a thousand years running—that the Pack was named after trees that didn’t actually exist in their chosen area.

  Lexi didn’t quite get it, but it wasn’t a big deal. She was just happy this Pack seemed to have opened their arms to her and her family.

  At least the Jamensons had.

  The rest of the Pack…yeah, not so much. An image of Patrick filled her mind, and she blinked it away.

  That was a thought for another time. Right now, she had a little boy’s birthday to celebrate, a certain wolf to avoid, and a pretense to show another wolf that everything was okay while she herself avoided that certain wolf.

  It was confusing enough that Lexi didn’t need to add another set of worries to her already full plate.

  “Lexi, hon? What the heck is going on in that head of yours?” Cailin moved to block Lexi’s view of the tangle of children and stared right at her face.

  Lexi might have been a couple inches taller than the other woman, but Cailin had a presence that couldn’t be ignored. She only had to ask her brother.

  She shook her head then smiled. At least she thought she smiled. It might as well have been a grimace considering the way Cailin’s eyebrow rose.

  Again.

  “I’m fine. Really. I think I’m just tired. That’s all.”

  “Not sleeping?” Cailin asked.

  “Not really.” That wasn’t a change though. Lexi rarely slept through the night. She never really had considering she was latent. Her body was a little more wired than most because she couldn’t expel energy the way the other wolves could. Not to mention the whole on-the-run thing didn’t exactly soothe one’s nerves.

  “Do you need to talk to Hannah about getting something to help you sleep?” Hannah was the Pack Healer, the one person connected to the Pack through bonds that enabled her to use the overall energy and her own powers to Heal others. “If you don’t want to go to her, I can probably help. I used to grow the Pack herbs until Hannah took over.”

  Wolves’ metabolisms were such that they couldn’t take the usual human drugs or even get drunk on alcohol. It was great for the wolves, considering their genetics helped with maintaining their bodies for centuries and sometimes even longer, but sucked for things like the common cold. Wolves didn’t actually die of old age like humans did. Those that reached a certain age became elders and usually shut themselves off from the world because of all their memories. Cailin had once grown the herbs and harvested other plants used as natural remedies to help the wolves. Now that Hannah had come into the Pack when she’d mated Cailin’s brother, Reed—as well as another man named Josh—and become the Healer, Cailin had been out of a job.

  From the tone Cailin used just then, Lexi had a feeling the woman didn’t quite know what to do with herself now. Sure, Cailin babysat her numerous nieces and nephews—increasing in number daily it seemed—but the young woman didn’t really seem to have a place in the Pack beyond the blood in her veins.

  Cailin was only in her early twenties though and over eighty years younger than her brothers, who were all within a year or two in age.

  No wonder the woman looked lost.

  Oh great. Now Lexi was worrying about another’s problems rather than her own. It made her forget the lingering doubts, fears, worries, and scariness in her own life at least a little while.

  “I’m fine, Cailin, really,” Lexi finally answered. “I don’t need to take anything to sleep. Logan and I take turns freaking out around the house when we have long nights and can’t sleep.”

  Cailin stiffened at the mention of Logan’s name, and Lexi inwardly cursed. Great going. It wasn’t as if Lexi didn’t know the other woman was pointedly avoiding Logan.

  An unwritten rule existed between the two of them.

  Lexi didn’t mention her brother.

  Cailin didn’t mention hers.

  Ever.

  Damn it.

  “Thank you for offering though,” Lexi added lamely. “It’s nice that your family is still holding a birthday party, despite all that’s going on.”

  Oh, holy hell. Her attempt at changing the subject had failed. This topic was just as bad as the original subject. Mentioning everything that was “going on”—war, death, and torture—wasn’t the best way to cool the tension rising between the two women. No, it was the exact opposite of what she’d hoped to do.

  Though, really, there didn’t seem to be a safe topic. It wasn’t as if Lexi knew the Jamensons that well since she’d just become a Redwood, and with the war with the Centrals—the main focal point and reason why Lexi, Logan, and Parker were there in the first place—there wasn’t much else to talk about.

  Honestly though…

  Cailin grinned, despite the mood. “We’re family. Finn’s the first grandbaby, the first of them to shift. It’s a big deal. Plus, he’ll be Alpha one day.”

  “So he gets special treatment?”

  Cailin shook her head. “Oh no. Not at all. Each of those babies, and the ones to come, will get parties, love, and everything else they need. If we didn’t do that, then what the hell are we fighting for?”

  “I guess that makes sense.” It did. Though since she’d been shunned from her own Pack because of the actions of others, she still didn’t quite believe it. Oh, she desperately wanted to, but she couldn’t.

  Not anymore.

  “It damn well should,” Cailin grumbled. “My Pack is in pain because of those assholes, and I’ll be fucking pissed if we win and lose ourselves. We’re Pack and family first, warriors second. That’s what we need to be in order to stay who we are. I was wrong once when I asked my dad if we could go dark to win. Fucking wrong. I’m not going to do that again. We’re going to beat those fucking bastards, and we’re going to do it all the while blowing out candles on birthday cakes and making babies.”

  Lexi blinked at Cailin’s impassioned speech.

  Well then.

  A blush crept over Cailin’s cheeks, and she ducked her head. The look suited her and made her look her age, rather than the image of the sex goddess she usually presented without trying.

  “Sorry. I get a little worked up thinking about all the shit my family has been through.”

  “And the fact that you haven’t been able to help,” Lexi whispered, knowing they had begun to attract the attention of the others. A few Jamensons glanced their way, but it was mostly the others not of the family that looked out of the corner of their eye or blatantly stared at them. Those had their normal sneer on their faces whenever they were near.

  Lucky her.

  Cailin’s head shot up, and she blinked. “I hate it.” She looked over her shoulder at her family, who had no doubt quieted to hear her words. Werewolves, after all, had exceptional hearing. “We can talk about it later.”

  Lexi nodded then watched the young woman, who looked so sure of herself but clearly wasn’t, walk toward the pile of pups and start to play.

  “I’m glad she talks to you when she won’t talk to anyone else,” a voice said from behind her, and she froze.

  Hell, he was freaking quiet when he wanted to be.

  North slid to her side but didn’t look at her. Not that she was looking at him—oh no, she couldn’t do that and breathe nowadays—but she could see him out of the corner of her eye.

  Lexi swallowed hard and tried to regain the cool, collected composure she used when she had no earthly idea what else to do.

  “She doesn’t talk to the rest of you?” She found that h
ard to believe, considering Cailin had wonderful parents, six big brothers, a brother-in-law, and five sisters-in-law.

  North shrugged. She felt the touch of his overheated skin against her arm, and she held back a shiver.

  She would not show the man how he affected her.

  Ever.

  “She’s so much younger than the rest of us. Yes, she’s the same age as a few of my brothers’ mates, but it’s different. They’re family now but still new. Cailin’s never felt comfortable about showing who she is to outsiders, and it’s even worse really within the family. She’s great with that façade of hers—the bitchy, twenty-something power attitude—but she doesn’t break down with us. Not since she was a little girl.”

  Lexi’s heart ached for Cailin and even more so for the man she felt a connection to, despite all the reasons she shouldn’t. It wasn’t as though Cailin was any different than the rest of them, but she was so much younger than her brothers, and there were things the woman might not even want to share.

  “I’ll do what I can. I like her.” Lexi had no idea why she’d said that first part. She couldn’t even take care of her own crap, let alone another person’s. Okay, she could take care of Parker and Logan, but they were…hers.

  North moved so he blocked her view of the pups again, and she sucked in a breath.

  Gods, he was beautiful. Tanned skin created by genetics and touched by the sun covered a hard body that she’d seen naked only because of his shifts, not for anything more. And damn, she wanted to have that be for something more. He had those Jamenson jade-green eyes, framed by light lashes, that Lexi knew she could fall into if she didn’t watch herself. Unlike most of his brothers, he and his twin Maddox had inherited their mother’s hair, a dark blond, unruly mass that looked damn good on him.

  She really needed to stop looking at him that way.

  “Thank you for taking care of my sister,” he whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

  She didn’t dare breathe. She knew once she caught a whiff of that spicy scent, latent or not, her wolf—or what she thought of as her wolf—would want to hunt.

  That wouldn’t be happening.

  Ever.

  His fingers lingered on her cheek, and her body shuddered.

  Traitor.

  She pulled back, the loss of his touch like a deep abyss she knew she’d never be able to cross.

  “I need to go.”

  She didn’t even bother to lie. Not this time. She turned tail and ran back to her home. No, not her home, the place where her family slept.

  Her name carried across the wind as North called her back, but she ignored it.

  Ignored him.

  She kicked the door closed, then turned, bracing her back against it. Her legs gave out, and she slid to the floor, the sobs wracking through her body as memories flooded and attacked her.

  The darkness of his eyes tearing into her.

  The feel of those callous fingers digging into her when she screamed.

  She shut her eyes against the nightmares and banged her fists against her temples.

  “Get out! Stop!” she screamed into the empty room, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  She had to get it under control. The others couldn’t know what had happened, or her baby boy’s life would be forfeit.

  It was a dangerous game living with the Redwoods as it was. It would be even more dangerous to get close to the one man who could break her.

  Even though her body told her, just as his was no doubt doing to him, that they could be mates, she knew that would never happen.

  The wolf in her dreams begged for the man—at least that was what she thought since she couldn’t actually hear her wolf—she could feel the man’s touch on her cheek and knew it was useless to dream.

  To hope.

  There would be no future with North Jamenson.

  She was already mated.

  To continue reading Hidden Destiny, check out Carrie Ann Ryan’s website or your online bookstore.

  www.CarrieAnnRyan.com

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