by Bella Jewel
“My justice doesn’t put people in danger, yours does,” I point out.
“Not if I’m smart about it.”
“Tanner ...”
“I’m doing this, Callie. I never asked for your fuckin’ permission,” he stands, dusting himself off. “She deserves someone to fight for her, someone to seek revenge for what happened to her.”
“You’re just changing your person,” I mutter. “You swapped from me to them. You’re seeking revenge, which I get, but, Tanner, maybe you need to look at why.”
“Why?” he growls. “Why is because my sister is fuckin’ dead, that’s why.”
“I know she’s dead, Tanner, I know that better than anyone. I also know how guilt feels, and how it makes you do things you probably shouldn’t do.”
“Don’t talk to me about fuckin’ guilt, Callie. Don’t tell me how to feel. She’s my sister, you just killed her. Don’t act like you understand how this feels.”
I know the moment the words come out of his mouth he regrets them. I can see the way his face changes. My mouth drops open, and hurt clearly washes over my face because he takes a step forward but I put a hand up, my voice like a whip when I say, “I was right, we can never be more than what we are because you’ll never truly forgive me. You’ll never let it go.”
I turn around and walk off, even after he calls my name.
Screw him.
15
“THERE YOU ARE! I WAS so worried,” Jo says, launching to her feet when I round the corner. I had to borrow a phone from a café and call Jo to find out where she was staying, then get a lift home and pay the cab driver once I arrived.
Luckily for me, he was a really nice guy. I told him he could walk in with me, if he didn’t believe I had the money. He was understanding and very trusting, a rare thing in the world these days. Once I went to the room Jo said she would leave unlocked for me, I got the cash and then got changed and made my way down to the pool, where Jo and everyone else are having a few drinks.
Jo rushes over and throws her arms around me, and I hug her tightly before pulling back and glancing over at the three other men. No Tanner yet, thank god. I’m not ready to see him. Not ready to face the reality that we’re always going to have this black cloud hanging over our heads. I don’t want to face that because it’ll hurt, and I’m not ready for more hurt.
“Are you okay?” Jo asks, grabbing me by the shoulders and studying my face.
“Yes and no. We’ll talk later, okay. For now, I want to chat to Tatum. It’s important.”
She narrows her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
“Not really. Come on.”
We join the men at the pool, and I take a seat next to Ethan. He looks over to me and asks quietly, “You okay?”
I nod. “I’m okay, thanks.”
He looks surprised that I’m speaking to him without an angry tone, but I’m so tired of being angry. I’m so tired of looking for someone to blame. I just want this to be over and done with so I can finally move on with my life.
“Callie wants to talk to you,” Jo announces, handing me a beer and looking to Tatum.
“What is it?” Tatum asks, leaning back in his chair.
I can see why Jo likes him, he’s gorgeous. In a way that makes it hard to stare at anything else but him when he’s in the room. He’s got this feel about him, this strong masculine vibe. Like he could take a bullet for you and still get up swinging.
“It’s Tanner,” I tell him. “He isn’t just going after Chase, he wants to go after the men who hurt Celia, too.”
Tatum exhales. “Yeah, I know.”
I narrow my eyes. “You know?”
“Yeah, known since we started this trip. He might hate me right now, but I know him, and the guys know him. He was getting help from a few of them to find the locations of these men.”
“He doesn’t even know who they are!” I cry.
Tatum glances at Jo quickly, then looks to me and says, “Chase gave me a name. One name. A swap that means Tanner won’t touch him.”
“Wait a second?” I say, confused. “You made contact with Chase, got a name, and all along Tanner has been chasing that person?”
“Yes,” Tatum tells me.
“You’ve been lying to us?” I whisper. “Why am I not surprised?”
Jo looks hurt, and of course she is. Tatum and her have gotten close, I think she has been trying to find the good side in him again, trying to justify the way she feels about him, and now she’s finding out that he’s been lying. Yet again.
“You told us you couldn’t get hold of Chase?” Jo says, her voice strained.
“Look,” Tatum says, exhaling and running a hand down his face. He’s tired. He’s exhausted. But he didn’t need to lie. “Tanner is my best friend, a friend I did a very fuckin’ bad thing to. He deserves his closure, no matter how he goes about getting it. He wanted those men, and I told him I’d help him get them, if he let Chase be. He agreed. I know we lied to you, but I still intend on letting you confront Chase and do what you need to do, I never lied about that.”
I shake my head, angry and let down. Yet again. “I can’t believe I actually thought you guys were on our side again.”
“We are on your side,” Tatum snaps, his voice gruff. “Fuck, in the end, we’re all after the same thing, aren’t we? Justice for Celia? This isn’t about you, Callie. At least, not all of it is. Tanner deserves to be able to defend the thing he loved the most. Don’t you think he fuckin’ deserves that?”
Dammit.
I do.
I really do.
“Yes,” I snap. “Yes, of course I do, but not if it means he’s going to get himself hurt, Tatum. He’s dealing with people that are dangerous, you can’t just mess with them and walk away.”
“They’re not as dangerous as you think, they’re mid-range drug runners. We can deal with them. We’ve dealt with people like them before. You just need to trust him. Know that’s nearly impossible but right now you need to take my word for it.”
“He could get killed,” I whisper.
Tatum’s eyes soften, and he murmurs, “He’s not goin’ to get killed, darlin’. I’ll make sure of it. You have my word.”
I grit my teeth, but I know there is nothing we can do about this. Tanner is going to go after Celia’s rapists, and he has every right to. It’s not my place to tell him he can’t.
“Where is Tanner?” Ethan asks.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “We had an argument and he disappeared.”
“He’ll come back soon,” Tatum says. “Until then, we should get some rest. We hit the road early tomorrow.”
“Tatum?” I say, when he stands and walks toward the motel rooms.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you, for your honesty.”
He nods, a quick jerk of his head, but I can see the compassion in his eyes at my words.
Then he disappears.
I turn and glance at Jo.
She looks like she’s about to burst out crying.
Things are just getting more and more complicated by the second.
Will it ever stop?
“WHAT’S GOING ON, HONEY?” I ask Jo, sitting cross-legged on the bed next to her.
She’s been silent since we got back to the room. She had a shower, called Patrick, and now she’s just staring at her phone, like she has a million things she wants to say to someone but can’t.
I know who that someone is.
Jo is playing with fire, and I’m scared of how badly she’s going to get burned.
“I’ve made a mess of things,” Jo whispers. “I didn’t realize I cared about him so much until tonight when he confessed that he had been lying, and it hit me like a punch to the gut. It hurt. It hurt because I care about him. It hurt because he matters to me. Callie, what have I done?”
I exhale. I knew this was going to happen. I saw it from the moment those two laid eyes on each other. It’s a dangerous situation, mostly because Jo is married and Pa
trick isn’t going to make things easy for her. He’s going to make sure she suffers, hard, especially if he finds out there is another man in the picture.
“You haven’t done anything, have you?” I ask her.
“No, I haven’t, but I want to. God, tonight, we were alone and we were talking ... I could smell him and I had to fight every urge in my body, I had to force myself away from him. I wanted him so badly I could hardly think.”
“You’re having a hard time, it’s to be expected. You can’t put yourself through anymore, Jo. Not by starting something with Tatum that you can’t take back. Patrick isn’t the man for you, I think you need to end that even though I know the very thought scares you. If you don’t, and you start something with Tatum, it’ll cause a mess you can’t get out of.”
“I’m not this person, Callie,” she says, squeezing her knees in frustration and dropping her head. “I’m not the one who cheats on her husband. I’m not the one who hangs out with another man. I’m not the one who does any of those things. I’m just the woman who has found herself stuck, and then proceeded to meet a man that is everything. However, I can’t give him a damned thing.”
“Listen,” I say, grabbing her hands and removing them from her knees before she creates bruises. “You need some distance, okay? You need to start riding with Tanner and me, you need to avoid Tatum where possible. I’m not saying this because I don’t like him, because I actually kind of do, I’m saying this because I don’t want to see you lose everything. You’re in a fragile place and Tatum looks like a big, strong knight ready to sweep you off your feet. You need space until you get home, and then you need to figure out a way to end things with Patrick.”
“What if that’s not the right thing to do? I said I’d give our marriage a go and I’m not trying. I’m not trying at all ...”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. Patrick isn’t the man for you, deep down you know that. You don’t love him, if you did you wouldn’t even be here on this trip with us. You need to start being honest with yourself, honey.”
She exhales and shuffles off the bed, standing. “You’re right. I will ride with you and keep my distance until I get home. You know the worst part? The thought of not talking to Tatum actually hurts me.”
Oh, yes.
She is in far deeper than I realized.
“I know,” I tell her, because it’s the truth. I do know.
It’s a horrible feeling.
She shakes her head, and then looks to me. “We need to take my mind off this. What happened with you and Tanner tonight? That was a crazy day, I was so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, it scared me but I’m fine. Tanner found me, we talked and ... God, Jo, I slept with him.”
“You did?” she cries, rushing over and sitting back on the bed. “Why wasn’t this the first thing you told me?”
“We had other things to worry about.”
“Are you happy about it? Sad about it? How are you feeling about all of this?”
I shrug. “Honestly, at the time I wanted it more than anything. He was there, crying ... God, he was crying, Jo. That big strong man, and it broke my heart. It made me realize just how much he’s hurting, too. Next thing I knew we were having sex. It was so intense, and it felt amazing, and then he told me after that he was looking for Celia’s rapists and I got upset. He got angry and left. I made a mistake. I’m always putting my foot in it when it comes to him.”
“Okay, first of all, you and Tanner have a lot of ugly behind you. Things that are bothering both of you, that will hang over your head until you get it all out on the table and deal with it properly. You’re not fully over the fact that he did what he did for so long, and he’s not over the fact that he was wrong and fucked up your life for no reason. It’s messy, you need time to deal with that.”
She’s right.
We do.
We really do.
“But it’s clear you two have feelings for each other. I think you just need to get through this before worrying about that. Let’s get Chase, let’s help Tanner find these men and make sure he comes home safely, and then you can work things out with him. Things on this trip are too heated right now, and they’re only going to get worse. Tension is high, we all need to just take a step back.”
“Why are you so wise?” I laugh.
She shrugs, smiling. “I was born this way. If only I could take my own advice, huh?”
I chuckle and we hug, long and hard.
I don’t know where I’d be without her.
Jo is my saving grace.
And she knows it.
16
I BLINK A FEW TIMES, my eyes hazy.
Someone is rattling around outside.
A door closed, and I can hear the truck outside the door being shuffled around in. Like someone is opening it and closing it. A light is shining through the window. I rub my eyes and glance over at Jo—she’s sound asleep beside me. I carefully slide out of bed and walk over to the window, peering out.
I see Tanner throwing his bags into the truck, glancing around as he does. His face is busted up, dried blood on his mouth and cheeks, his eye swollen. My heart kicks up a notch and I rush outside as quietly as I can, closing the door behind me. He hears it and spins around, on guard, ready to tackle anyone that comes close.
His face isn’t in a good way, not to mention his hands are busted up. Whatever happened to him, it was intense.
“Tanner, what are you doing?” I ask, glancing around to see if he’s alone.
It’s dark out, only the light in front of the rooms and the flashing motel sign allowing us to see each other. It’s got to be two am, maybe three, and the streets around us are quiet, the office is closed, and everyone is sleeping.
Which bodes the question as to why Tanner is out here alone, stuffing his bag into the truck, all beaten and bruised.
“Go and get your things, we’re leaving.”
“What do you mean we’re leaving? What happened to your face?”
“Will you just do as I’m asking, Callie? Go get Jo, get your things, and get into the truck. Now.”
I open my mouth to argue but headlights turning into the motel distract me. I glance over in the direction of the light, but before I can see anything, Tanner grabs me and hauls me against the truck, slamming the door and pressing our bodies against it.
“Tanner?” I whisper, confused. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t move.”
My heart rate kicks up and I move closer to him, scared. I have no idea what’s happening, all I know is whoever is in that car, Tanner doesn’t want to come across.
Tanner turns and glances behind his truck, watching the car pulling into the parking lot of the motel. It turns around a corner, heading down to the back rooms, and Tanner moves quickly, grabbing me and pulling me toward the rooms. “Get Jo. Now. We have a matter of fuckin’ minutes.”
The sounds of boots crunching has our heads whipping around. Someone is walking around the rooms. Cursing under his breath, Tanner grabs my arm and we run toward the office, ducking around behind the building. My heart feels like it’s going to launch out of my chest, my breathing is ragged, and my skin is prickling. I’m terrified, worried about whoever it is that Tanner is so afraid of.
“What’s going on?” I whisper.
“Shh,” he growls, peering around the side of the building and watching for a few moments.
I can’t see anything, it’s dark behind here, but I’m terrified. How did they find him? Who are they? What do they want? Tanner is scared for a reason, and that reason is that he obviously knows these people are here to hurt him, or all of us, I don’t know. All I can think about is Jo, or Ethan, or one of the others walking out of their rooms right now looking for us and ending up shot, or worse.
“Here’s what you’re going to do,” Tanner says, his voice low. “You’re going to walk out there, casually, like you’ve just been out for the night. You’re going to walk to your room and if they ta
lk to you, you’re going to act like you have no idea who they are. They won’t hurt you; they’re not going to cause a scene unless they see me.”
“What?” I whisper hiss. “You can’t be serious? What if they do know who I am? What if ...”
“They don’t, Callie. Go into your room, act drunk, do whatever you have to do. You need to get Jo, and she needs to contact Tatum, and we need to get the fuck out of here. I’ll meet you down the road, just hurry up because if they figure out you’re all with me, we’re in a whole world of fucking trouble. Go.”
“Tanner ... I’m scared,” I whisper.
Tanner stops peering around the building and looks over at me, his eyes softening just a touch. He cups my cheek in his hand and leans in close. “You gotta trust me, darlin’. Go and get everyone, the keys for my truck are in it. Get out of here, and I’ll explain everything later.”
“Okay,” I say, my voice shaky. “Okay.”
“Good girl, go.”
I glance around the building and then, with my stomach in my throat, I walk out. I’ve just reached the rooms again when I see a man. He’s tall, with dark hair and dark clothes, he’s walking along the outside of the rooms, glancing at a few of them, looking at cars, checking the area out. His eyes fall on me, and I feel sick. I have to trust Tanner, I know that, but it’s a really, really hard thing for me to do.
“You’re out late, young lady,” the man says, his voice gruff.
I feign a laugh, waving a hand, acting like I’ve had a big night. I make sure to sway just a little, but not too much that he thinks he can take advantage of me. “I went to a bachelorette party. Those things are insane!”
The man studies me and glances around. “You here alone?”
“Nope, with my best friends. We came down just for the party. Are you staying here?”
He shakes his head. “No, a friend of mine is. I wonder if you’ve seen him?”
He goes on to explain Tanner to a T. When he’s done, I act like I’m thinking about it, narrowing my eyes and rubbing at my chin. “You know, I have seen that guy around. He’s here with some friends or something, we caught up at the pool last night, super-hot,” I say, “I actually just passed him walking down the street, about two blocks down. He was all messed up. Poor guy. What happened to him?”