The Darkness Within

by Jaime Rush

  “Yeah. I wasn’t going along with that.”

  She let out a long sigh. “I wish I could take away all those terrible memories. That kind of ability would definitely be a gift.”

  She held out her fingers inches from the pair of red dice hanging from the rearview mirror. Real dice, not fuzzy ones. He wanted to know if she could help fight, if necessary. If she could move something. It didn’t come as naturally to her as it seemed to for Tucker.

  The dice didn’t move, other than with the natural sway of the car’s motion. He was watching her, his expression unreadable. Leaving Tucker to spirit her mom away, if it came to that, didn’t feel right. It felt like losing him all over again, but this time there’d be some guy trying to tear him apart.

  God, she couldn’t think about that. “Talk to me.”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know. Sitting here unable to do anything, I feel like I’m going to explode.”

  After a moment, he said, “I find it hard to believe you’re sitting there at all.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’ve thought about you a lot over the years.”

  Those words washed over her like warm honey over a chilled body. “Then why did you turn away from me when I saw you last year?”

  “I didn’t say they were good thoughts.”

  Pain rippled through her, but his words weren’t harsh. “You could have yelled at me, told me what a terrible person I was.” Anything was better than being dismissed. Maybe he knew that.

  “I ignored you because I didn’t want to go back there. It wasn’t only that you ran off right after your mother dumped that news on me. It was what happened when we talked by the fence.”

  “You were the one who ran off then.”

  “Because you looked at me like I would hurt you.” Now his words weren’t so matter-of-fact.

  “I could feel your Darkness. You wanted me to run away with you. You said I was yours, and the way you said it scared me.”

  He was silent for a moment, his eyes on the road ahead. “It scared me, too. It’s why I left.”

  She released a breath, and with it, the self-hatred she’d felt for so long. It wasn’t all her fault. “I had just seen the images of Elgin when he found my mother and Tony. The way Elgin said ‘You’re mine’ right before he killed my father . . . you said it the same way. I could understand why my mother lives in fear of them, of Elgin. Even of you. It was horrible, vicious, and my mom suffers from the guilt of it every day.” She looked over at him. “But that’s in the past now. Maybe we can—”

  “No maybes. We can’t be friends or anything else. I’ll help you, but that’s where it ends . . .”

  “So why are you helping me?” Dumb. He might rethink it, change his mind.

  “You and your mom took me in for a while. No matter how it ended, I was safe and well fed. I always repay my debts.”

  “Thank you for helping me, whatever your motivation.”

  She flipped her hand toward the dice, and this time they swung away from her. He gave her a nod of approval, which made her feel stupidly proud. So she made a face at him.

  He didn’t respond, other than a tightening of his fingers over the wheel. He had moved on; why couldn’t she?

  Because she had been trying to make it up to Tucker with every kid she helped. Which put him in her mind—and her heart—over and over again.

  The car turned right into a subdivision and wound through a rural neighborhood. Tucker held back, letting even more space grow between their cars. When they left the area and headed back to the road, Tucker said, “I think we’ve just been made.”

  Chapter Six

  ELGIN CALLED BENGLE again. “Hey, it’s me. Where are you?”

  “I’m leaving your place now. It’s ready, but I have to tell you, you’re asking for trouble.”

  “It’ll be my trouble. She always was.”

  “Just leave me out of it. I’ve got enough of my own. Stupid Frost and his glorious ideas about getting laid.” He grunted. “I sniffed around for the tremor all day. My feet are killing me. Torus isn’t going to let us rest until we find at least one of our bastards. And it better be the one who killed that guy, because if it happens again, we’re fried.”

  “Get in your car and meet me at the end of Foothills Road. I’m almost home, but I’m being tailed. I think it’s Nikkita’s daughter. She and the guy she’s with might have picked me up at the apartment building. I could use some backup. It’s been awhile since I’ve fought.”

  “She’s not your daughter, right?”

  Elgin’s mouth turned into a snarl. “No.” He could still see the man Nikkita had been shacking up with trying to protect her. That was his role, as her husband—not the job of some weak human who knew some karate moves. She’d never told the guy, obviously, that her husband was no match for any mere human defense. “They’re looking for trouble, following me. They can both go.”

  “Be right there.”

  It had been a long time. Darkness shimmered over his hands as they tightened on the wheel. Those who held it were ordered to keep it under control. They were only to use it for their work.

  The shimmer formed into two black paws, big as bears’. He felt the rush, the hunger for a fight, to free the dark energy that lay coiled inside him. Foothills Road was desolate, the east end of a defunct housing development not far from their base. He would make sure to leave nothing behind.

  Chapter Seven

  DEL GRIPPED THE edges of her seat. “What do we do now?”

  “He’s going to lead us somewhere where he can kill us. That’s if he thinks or knows what we are. We could be a couple of punks out to rob him. Either way, he’ll know what we are when we get close enough. And probably who we are.”

  So he wasn’t backing down. That relieved her. And scared her.

  “We’re going to take him on, then?”

  “It’s the only chance we’ll have to save your mother, if she’s in the car.”

  “He’s the one who tore apart my father. Tucker, I don’t want you hurt.”

  “I can take care of myself. It’s you I’m concerned about. You can’t exactly psychometry him to death, now, can you?” He narrowed his eyes, scanning the area. “This neighborhood’s all but abandoned. If he’s got her in the car, he may be planning to kill her here.”

  Del sucked in a breath at those words. That’s probably what Elgin would do. Carrie was a loose end, just as Del and Tucker were. Trouble for Elgin.

  “I’m going to turn around,” Tucker said. “If he stays here, we’ll be able to find him, but I got a bad feeling about following him any farther in.”

  He turned into a driveway and began to back out. Suddenly, another car came out of nowhere and blocked them.

  “Hell.” Tucker turned to the left and drove through the dirt yard. He’d nearly reached the road when Elgin’s car pulled up in front of them. “He made us, all right. And he’s got a friend.” A shadow of fear flickered across his face, but that was the only thing that gave away what he was feeling. He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to leave the car running. Remember the plan. I’ll distract them; you get to Elgin’s car and see if your mother’s there.”

  “I’m not going to leave you.”

  He was taking in the two men who were approaching their car. “No time to get sentimental. Can you remember an address?”

  “Right now I can hardly breathe or think or anything.”

  He gave it to her anyway. “That’s where I live. I’ll meet you there. If I don’t, tell the others what happened. Get in the driver’s seat.”

  Her stomach cramped as Tucker stepped out of the car and closed the door. She hit the locks and climbed into the driver’s seat. The second man remained at the front of the car, his body tensed and ready. She saw the moment Elgin picked up the tremor, as Tucker called it. And the moment he recognized his own gray eyes looking back at him.

  The man was definitely Tucker’s father, though E
lgin wasn’t as wiry or muscular. He had the same subtle ways of registering emotion. Tucker stepped away from the car, leading Elgin, who mirrored his moves.

  “You wanted to talk to me,” Elgin said to Tucker.

  This was going to start out civilly, but it wouldn’t end that way. She saw again the flashes of violence and blood—the black beast tearing at her father—that she’d picked up from the ring.

  Her fingers tightened on the wheel. He killed my father. Killed him for no other reason than he was with my mother. Now he had her, too. And Tucker.

  “No. No!” She put the car into gear and lurched forward, aiming for Elgin. Obviously surprised, he didn’t move fast enough to avoid the front corner of the car. It knocked him right into Tucker, throwing both men to the ground. The other guy grabbed for the passenger door but she jammed on the gas and dove to Elgin’s green car.

  He’d left his car running. She put the car into park and spilled out, stumbling as she reached for the door handle. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a black beast loping toward her. She jumped into the Buick as a smoky paw reached for her. Felt its coldness as a claw sliced across her wrist. She yanked the door closed, trapping the paw. The beast yowled, and then the paw disappeared. She jabbed the lock button and met the face of the beast on the other side of the window. He looked like a misshapen tiger, fangs unnaturally long. He smashed his paw against the glass; thank God it held.

  “Mom,” she called, having to push the word out of her throat.

  “Del? No, please tell me he didn’t get you.” Her mother’s voice, muffled in the trunk.

  “We came to get you, Mom. Me and Tucker.” She pulled away as the beast smashed at the window again, this time cracking it. “I’m getting you out of here.”

  Tucker! She frantically searched for him. He was racing across the dirt yard toward the moving car, Elgin right behind him.

  Something landed on the roof, and a second later she heard the sound of an object hitting the windshield. She spun to see the glass crackled in a large spiral, the dark thing coming at it again. She turned back to Tucker in time to see him leap toward the car. As he left the ground, he morphed from man to a black blur, and then she heard him land on the roof with a heavy thud.

  Elgin was right behind him, turning into a beast too as he jumped at the car. When he landed, there was a scuffle right above her.

  “Oh, God, what have I done?”

  The paw smashed through the windshield and grabbed her around the throat. She struggled to hold onto the wheel as it pulled her forward. He was going to pull her right through it and out. She clawed and pounded at the paw. It felt like an animal, hard and sinewy, but cold and smooth.

  Suddenly its hold on her loosened, and two beasts rolled onto the hood. Tucker. One had to be Tucker. She rammed on the brakes when they both began tumbling off the front of the car. She couldn’t risk running him over,.

  A third beast reeled off the side of the roof when the car lurched to a stop. She couldn’t tear her eyes from the two beasts fighting in front of her: the misshapen tiger and a wolf nearly as big. They looked like they were made of black quicksilver.

  Tucker’s that wolf.

  Another paw smashed through the side window, tearing her attention from Tucker. All she could see in that panicked moment was a creature neither wolf nor panther, but eerily in between. Elgin. Even in Darkness, he had the gray eyes. A stream of rope-like smoke trailed into the car, to the ignition, and the engine died.

  She missed the stream that unlocked the door. He jerked it open and morphed to man as he clamped his hand over her wrist before she could pull away. “Bengle, I’m taking off,” he called to where the two beasts fought. “Finish him.”

  She couldn’t free herself. “That’s your son. You can’t—”

  He smacked her hard, sending her banging against the passenger door. Before the ringing in her ears stopped and the black spots cleared, he’d locked the doors and settled into the driver’s seat.

  “My son who would use the Darkness I gave him to kill me,” he muttered.

  She tried to get up from where she’d slid to the floor. He opened the glove box and pulled out a piece of rope, grabbing at her hands and tying her wrists. She fought him, and he gripped her arms so hard she expected to hear the snap of her bones. Then he shoved her back to the floor. Something hit the car on her side, then another whump! Tucker.

  Elgin put the car into drive and lurched away. She tried to loosen her hands, but he’d cinched them tight. She stared at the lock switch. Could she move it?

  Talk to him, cover the sound.

  She focused on moving that lever. “What are you going to do with my mom?”

  “Don’t you want to know what I’m going to do to you? You should have been my daughter. Nikkita should have stayed. I didn’t hunt her down before, but now . . . now everything’s changed.”

  Because of the attack. She could hardly think about that—the locks clicked. He didn’t seem to notice. She focused on the door pull now.

  “Why? Mom didn’t kill that man last night. Neither did your son.”

  She tightened the muscles in her legs, readying herself. The door opened and she threw herself against it, falling out and rolling. Not asphalt, her first thought. She landed hard, but on the packed dirt of what used to be someone’s front yard.

  As soon as she came to a stop, she heard a car engine. The world hadn’t stopped spinning, and all she could see was the front of a car coming at her. She couldn’t move fast enough to get out of the way. She cringed, ready for the impact.

  “You all right?” Tucker’s voice. He’d pulled up beside her, opened his door, and was helping her up.

  She nodded as he hauled her into the car, got back in, and tore out. “He has my mom! She’s in the trunk.” She scrambled to a sitting position, looking for the green Buick. “Where is he?”

  Tucker searched as he drove. “He used the Disappearing act. The one I inherited from him. I don’t see him or his car anywhere. That’s how they snuck up on us.”

  “We have to find her.” The words ripped out of her.

  He did a U-turn and went back to where they’d had the initial scuffle.

  “Where’s Bengle, the other one?” she asked.

  “I hurt him pretty bad. When I saw Elgin get in the car with you—saw him hit you—I went nuts on him. He was trying to hold me down, to keep me from getting to you.” He scanned the area. “I don’t see him either.”

  She’d seen his expression go fierce when he’d said ‘hit you.’ It made her shiver. His hands were trembling as he shifted. She felt a frenetic energy vibrating from him. His hair was mussed, and he had several cuts and scrapes.

  She held her bound wrists at him. “Can you cut me free?”

  He blinked. “He tied you up that fast?”

  “He had rope in the glove box.” She swallowed hard. “Maybe left over from what he used on my mother. She was right there, in the trunk. I almost had her.”

  “The fastest way to cut the rope is to use my claw.” He was warning her, giving her time to look away.

  “Do it.”

  She neither watched nor turned, seeing a black paw in her peripheral vision. With a deft flick of his wrist, he cut the rope without ever touching her. The rope fell away. He pulled her hand toward him, his eyes narrowing as he took in the bloody scratch. His fingers tightened on her.

  “Bastard,” he spat.

  She stared at the cut, too, remembering how visceral the beast looked, how real it felt. “You’re a wolf.” The word came out a whisper. It seemed a bizarre statement now, because he was entirely human.

  He let go of her hand and continued driving, watching. “You choose the kind of creature you want to Become when you start working with Darkness. Otherwise you end up like that Bengle guy, sort of a hybrid. But you can use it in other ways.”

  “Like you did during your act. And Elgin, he used it that way, too. He turned off the car with a stream of it.” She tried no
t to sound afraid. The effort strained her voice, giving it a sense of falseness. “We have to find her. Or I have to find her.”

  “What, you don’t want my help now that you saw me Become?”

  “No, it’s not that. Tucker, you don’t owe me risking your life to find her.”

  “It’s way beyond that now, Del. These guys are after me, and the D’Rats.”

  “The D’Rats?”

  “Desert Rats. They’re my sort of family. I’m going to take those two out before they take us out.”

  He said it so casually, so coldly, she again remembered his words about not knowing him at all.

  “How did it feel to see him? To finally face him?”

  “It was strange, looking into my own eyes. But I felt nothing more than that. I’m a loose end, a problem. That’s nothing new, but I sure as hell am not going to let him wipe me out because of it.”

  She was shaking now, feeling cold even though heat came out of the vents. Tucker was back on the highway, heading south. She saw him again, in her mind, Becoming wolf as he soared through the air. Graceful. Fast. Terrifying. He fought like a vicious animal. Even as he’d held her hand and looked at her scratch, she’d felt his anger over it.

  “You’re afraid of me now,” he said, and she realized he’d been watching her ruminations.

  She let out a long breath. “I’ve always been afraid of you, Tucker.”

  When he was a child, she was afraid they’d do something that would make him run away. Later, she was afraid to give into the longings of her developing body, afraid to love a boy who might not be able to love her back. Afraid of how he’d insinuated himself into the cells of her body, scared she’d never get him out. And after he’d gone, scared he was dead or in prison or even that he’d moved on and forgotten all about her.