Reckless Secrets

by Gina Robinson

  I was breathing hard.

  Logan's eyes shone with excitement. "We did it!"

  "My hero!" I laughed and put one hand over my heart.

  Logan took the tray out of my other hand and dropped it and mine on the floor next to us. He bent at the knees to level our heights and pulled me into him so his crotch rubbed against mine until I could feel his excitement and an ache and a longing coursed through me. I wanted him, bad.

  As I gulped for air, he kissed me. Deeply, holding the back of my head so there was no escaping his passion. I was so out of breath, I was lightheaded. And yet it was the most erotic thing, being kissed almost literally breathless. Every sensation was heightened. I moaned as I wrapped my arms around his neck. And then, just as I thought it was really possible I could faint, he pulled away, smiling, that look of exhilaration still lighting his eyes.

  "Shit, El," he said, like a caress.

  "Yeah." I stared into his eyes. He wanted to go out and join the fight. It was written on his face.

  His phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket. "Collin and Zave are on their way. They got wind of the fight." He was asking my permission.

  "This snowball fight is strictly against university policy?" I asked.

  "Yeah." He looked so adorable, my outlaw.

  "Go, Butch Cassidy," I said.

  He grinned. "I thought I was the Sundance Kid." He texted Collin back, leaned down, picked up our trays, and handed them to me. "Hold my tray for me."

  "You don't need battle armor?"

  His grin grew. I didn't even think that was possible. "You're right on the battle line. Stay in your room and keep the lights off. Keep away from the windows. This could get ugly." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and was out the door before I could respond.

  "Logan!" I called after him, but he took off at a run into the heart of the snowstorm and battle.

  What had I just given him permission to do? And how right was Jason about Logan?

  Chapter Eight

  I followed the snowball battle in real time on Twitter. I mostly huddled against the wall away from the window with Bre on her bed, jumping up from time to time to peek out the window and watch the battle lines. The crowd surged one direction toward the dorms. Then back again toward Greek Row as the other side gained strength. The campus police finally broke it up in the early hours of the morning. Twitter was how I knew about the fistfights that broke out, the four windows in my dorm that were broken, and a rough number of arrests that were made. There was much more damage than that, but I didn't care about it, only that Logan got home safely. An hour in, as Bre and I watched the fight, a snowball hit our window so hard I was sure the window would shatter. I texted Logan frantically for an update, like was he still in one piece?

  Around two, I finally got a text from him. Home. Best all-campus snowball fight ever.

  I texted back. No more black eyes?

  He replied. Ha ha. These snowballs weren't as hard as pool balls. And I remembered to duck. But you should have seen some of the awesome kill shots I made.

  I texted him. You can brag to me tomorrow.

  Will do. 'Night, Snow Angel.

  I went to bed with a smile on my face.

  The next morning the snow had already begun to melt and I had a big-ass bruise on my right thigh. The world was slushy and dripping as I hurried to chem lecture, late because the coffee line had been so slow in the dining hall. The carnage from the night before was evident everywhere I looked. The window of the room the floor above ours was patched with a piece of cardboard and duct tape. Now, in the slush, it was hard to imagine the wonder and beauty of last night.

  In the lecture hall, Dex had saved me my usual seat. Byron had already started his stuttering lecture. I felt him watching me as I made my way past a row of knees to my place.

  Dex was wearing headphones and had his iPod in his pocket, listening to music even though the lecture had begun. He didn't even look up when I entered, just pulled one earbud out and spoke to me while looking straight ahead. "Thought for a minute you were going to chicken out and I was going to have to iClick you in."

  "I thought about it. Believe me." I felt harried and jangled and I hadn't even had my morning jolt of caffeine.

  "How'd it go?"

  "Tell you about it later."

  Was it my imagination or was Byron staring at me the whole time he was talking? It creeped me out. The class buzzed with a low hum. Byron didn't exactly command attention. Until he outlined the new grading policy, including extra credit opportunities, and told everyone he'd recalculated their grades and they'd be posted online after class. And, by the way, everyone's grades were significantly higher, more in line with a typical chem class distribution. I swear Byron stared straight into the mass of five hundred of us right into my eyes like he had laser vision.

  Dex popped out of his seat and began clapping. The rest of the class followed suit and gave Byron a standing ovation. All we needed was for someone to start singing, Ding dong, the witch of chemistry is dead. Byron turned a deep, bright, irrefutable red, like he was embarrassed to his core. But he wore a magnificently pleased look.

  Dex leaned over and whispered in my ear, "This is your doing or I miss my guess. Good job." Then he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled so loudly I jumped.

  After the lecture ended, I raced out of the auditorium so fast, Dex had to run to keep up with me. "Hold on! Where's the fire?" He was grinning. "What went on in that meeting with Byron? Whatever it was, me and about five hundred others owe you a debt of gratitude."

  "Just remember that when I come to collect." I stepped in a slushy puddle and splashed muddy water up the leg of my jeans. I cursed beneath my breath.

  "Don't tell me you really did sleep with him?" Dex sounded almost like he believed I had.

  I decided in that instant that Dex was secret-worthy. He'd proven so far that he didn't have loose lips. "No, worse."

  "Worse?" He sounded totally disbelieving. "Worse! There's something worse than prostituting yourself for chemistry?"

  I winced and Dex backed off. That came a little too close to what Dr. Rogers had done to Logan.

  "Sorry," Dex said.

  "I'll tell you, but only if you promise not to tell anyone else, ever. I can't even tell Logan." I was still racing along, trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that hideous chem building. I was beginning to think that place was a regular house of horrors.

  "Come on. You know you can trust me." He made a look that was so innocent and puppy dog, I had to laugh.

  "Cross your heart, hope to die?"

  "Stick a needle in my eye. What are we? Five?"

  I shot him a look that told him I was serious.

  "Okay. Hit me with it. I promise on penalty of death not to tell."

  We'd reached the mall that led to the SUB. I figured I had enough of a degree of separation from chem. I came to an abrupt stop and stared directly at Dex. "He told me he loves me and then he tried to kiss me."

  "Yeah, horrible. Even prostitutes don't let the guys kiss them." He made a comical face. "What did you do? You said he tried. Did you duck out of the way? Obviously you didn't slap his face. Good move, by the way. He would have flunked us all for sure then."

  I laughed. "Stop it! This is serious stuff, Dex. What am I going to do for the rest of the semester? He wants me to keep coming to our weekly session."

  "Of course he does," Dex said. "Word of advice—don't close the door."

  "Now you sound like Nic."

  "You told Nic?"

  "And Tay. They're sworn to secrecy, too. But for obvious reasons, Logan has no idea. And I don't want him to find out.

  "I tried to tell Byron I have a boyfriend, but Dr. Homer interrupted and then I raced out of there."

  Dex nodded like he understood. "You want me to prank Byron? I can get rid of him, too." He looked excited by the idea.

  "No. No more pranks." I sighed. "Tay thinks I should carry on as usual with Byron. Bake h
im cookies and the like. Just maintain the open-door policy until he posts final grades and I get my A."

  "And I get mine," Dex said.

  "That's what I like about you, Dex. You're such a humanitarian, always thinking of others."

  He laughed. "So true." He grinned. "I like Tay's plan."

  "You would."

  "Hey, come on, Ellie. I'm not going to leave you in a lurch. What you need is a plan and a wingman."

  "And a new seat in lecture," I added. "Wingman?"

  "Yep. And I have a plan—every week when you go in for your weekly help session, another student will show up within minutes—"

  "Seconds," I said.

  "Seconds, then, of when you arrive. That's your wingman. You'll never be alone with Byron. End of problem."

  "Yeah, but how am I going to do that?" I stared at Dex.

  "Easy. Leave it to me. I'll take care of it. Kirk and Joe owe us. I'll take my turn. Don't worry. You'll have a bodyguard at all times."

  I pursed my lips, thinking the plan through. Finally, I smiled. "Genius. That could actually work."

  "Yeah, to both," Dex said. "Never doubt me. As for lecture, a little evasive seat action is necessary. We'll mix it up. Sit in a different spot every time." He nodded and grinned evilly. "We'll see how well Byron can spot you in a crowd. A variation of Where's Waldo—Where's Ellie. Should be fun." He paused, looking deep in thought for a minute, then a grin spread across his face again.

  "Uh-oh. Wipe that evil-genius look off your face. No pranking!"

  Dex went all innocent looking at me. "Damn, I do love my seat, though. You know I'm a creature of habit, Ellie. I hate to give up my creature comforts."

  I rolled my eyes.

  He held up his hands like, I give up. "Anything for a friend and fellow conspirator."

  I relaxed. "Good. Now that that's settled, don't you have to get to class?"

  Dex shrugged. "No one will notice if I'm late. I sit in the back." He paused. "I need to talk to you about a couple of other things, though. A reporter from the daily paper called me up yesterday wanting to know what I knew about the prank."

  I gasped.

  Dex grabbed my arm. "Hold it together, Ellie. I was afraid you'd react like that, which is why I'm warning you. She didn't have anything on us. She was just fishing, calling up everyone in class."

  "All five hundred of us?"

  "Okay, maybe those who were the most likely suspects, those with the skill to carry it off." He looked proud of himself. "I didn't give anything away. And if she calls you, neither should you. Not that you're high on the suspect list." He laughed. "You know how to bluff. I know you can do it. Now that you've been warned, you'll be prepared. She's looking to trip someone up and scare them into revealing something."

  I nodded. "Okay. Consider me warned. Is that it?" I didn't need any more bad news.

  He hesitated.

  "There's more?"

  He looked pained. "This one is really out of my area of friend expertise. I don't really know how to say this."

  "What?" I frowned, wondering why he was acting so weird.

  He took a deep breath. "Do you have a thing for your boss?"

  "What!" I stared at him. "You know I'm with Logan."

  "Okay, that's what I thought. It's nothing."

  "What's nothing?" My heart was pounding.

  Dex shrugged. "Kirk said he saw someone who looked a lot like you at The College Grind yesterday morning looking intimate and involved with Jason. Making eyes at him."

  I took a deep breath, suddenly afraid to confess to even a partial truth. I forced myself into lying mood and laughed like the whole thing was simply absurd. "A lot like me? Making eyes? You're trusting Kirk on this? Kirk?" I shook my head dismissively. "He's mistaken. I haven't been to The College Grind in a week." I made a note to be more careful.

  Dex shrugged again. "Yeah, probably. That's Kirk."

  I slipped into diversionary tactics. "So, tell me, what did you think of the snowball fight? I suppose you had a rapid-fire snowball machine?"

  He grinned. "Legendary! I used my potato gun."

  I was keeping secrets from everyone. Telling half-truths and lies at every turn and desperately afraid I'd be found out. How did my mom do it? Tell all those lies to her husbands and lovers? Keep them straight. I was constantly afraid of making a mistake, of letting something slip. Just a little over a month, five weeks, and I would be out of the nightmare of chem forever. That many fewer lies to keep track of.

  I was on my way to work from studying at the science library when I walked past the career center and ran into Logan coming out. As always when I saw him, my heart did a flip. He was so hot—what did he see in me?

  "El!" He pulled me into a hug, lifting me off the ground as he kissed me.

  Logan knew how to kiss like no guy I'd ever known. Breaking a kiss down into its technical elements is not sexy. A kiss, after all, is the sum of all its elements. Like any art form, thinking about it too hard ruined the magic. Better to enjoy and appreciate. Or, in this case, melt and long for more.

  Some guys have a knack, and Logan was the king of them. The right amount of pressure—urgent and hard, but not bruising. A way of stroking my lips with his tongue and entering my mouth that was so thrilling I got tight all over. The way he wrapped his arms around me, holding me like he never wanted to let go and the rest of the world didn't matter. Like his focus was only on me. That was sexy.

  I felt the loss when he pulled away and smiled. "On your way to work?"

  I nodded. "Glad to see you're in one piece after last night. And not incarcerated."

  He laughed. "That was an epic fight. Collin and Zave have some great war stories.

  "And you?"

  "Mine are top secret. My lips are sealed."

  "I see—what happens at a snowball fight stays at the snowball fight." I brushed his lips with another kiss. "What are you doing here?" I hitched my thumb at the career center.

  He looked almost sheepish. "I'm a senior, El. I have to find a job if I don't want to move back in with Mom and Dad." He snorted.

  I went cold and simply stared at him. Of course I knew he was a senior, but I'd never thought about him leaving, of him not being here for as long as I needed him to be. For as long as I was. Yes, it was selfish of me. Or maybe it was simply self-preservation, and with all the all things I'd had on my mind it just never really struck me that he was graduating in May. "In November?" I swallowed hard.

  "November is not to soon to start. All the best software and high-tech companies are already taking applications for spring graduates and looking to set up interviews after Christmas."

  "You've been applying?" I asked. I didn't mean to sound so much like he was carrying on a conspiracy.

  "I have a few applications out." He shrugged. "It's no big deal. Hey, we'd better get going or we'll be late and Jason will have our heads. Or worse—dock our pay. And then how will I squire you around town in the style you deserve?" He grinned and took my hand as we started walking toward work.

  We walked in happy silence.

  At the top of the mall, Logan said, "How is having Byron as your prof? How did your meeting with him go?" His tone was casual, but the look on his face was fiercely protective and suspicious.

  It was my turn to be evasive. "Fine. He wanted to talk about my grades. In class today, he announced the new grading system and the class gave him a standing ovation."

  "A standing O, huh?" Logan said. "Bet he enjoyed that."

  "He blushed like a ripe peach."

  Logan nuzzled my neck. "Speaking of ripe peaches, I know who I'd like to give a standing O—a long standing O."

  "Stop it. You'll make me blush."

  "That was the idea." He paused and stopped walking abruptly. "El, is there something you're not telling me?"

  Had I acted guilty? I tried to act casual to cover as I stared guilelessly back at him. "No, why?"

  "I don't know. I just get the feeling you had something to do with
Byron's new grading policy." It was hard to tell with Logan whether he was jealous or not.

  I had a difficult time picturing any guy of reasonable looks being jealous of Byron. A guy like Logan, absurd! Unless he suspected me of flirting with Byron for a grade. I knew how he felt about that and wasn't going to go there.

  I laughed a little too brightly to be completely convincing. "Nope. Not a thing."

  He didn't look like he believed me. "Good." Then he grinned. "I'm thinking ahead to Saturday night. Our anniversary."

  "Yeah?"

  "Wear something hot."

  I smiled as seductively as I knew how. "That goes without saying. I have the perfect turtleneck wool sweater."

  He spun me around to face him, eyes twinkling. "You are such a tease, El."

  Chapter Nine

  "Logan told me to wear something hot." I examined myself in the full-length mirror that hung over the door in my room. I had literally spent hours getting ready for this date. A pile of rejected outfits sat on my bed.

  Bre was already out with Dan. Nic had just left on her own hot date. That left Tay to hold my hand and reassure me of my hotness before she headed out with a group of girls from the dorm.

  It was winter, so I'd chosen to wear my super-tight low-rider skinny jeans, knee-high stiletto boots, and a fuzzy sweater that bared my navel and revealed my bellybutton ring. I'd gotten my bellybutton pierced at the first Up All Night of the year, when I met Logan. I was plain, really, especially in comparison to my mom. But at least she'd taught me to apply my makeup and how to do perfect smoky eyes and a sultry evening look. I didn't look half bad.

  Tay was dancing to a tune playing on my iPod with a glass of vodka and OJ in her hand. She paused and looked me over. "You look great."

  "What do you think he has planned?" I turned to look at my butt in the mirror and see my backside. The last thing I needed were baggy-butt jeans. This pair had just come out of the wash and were nice and snug.

  Tay rolled her eyes. "He asked you to wear something hot, what do you think he's planning? I don't expect you to come home tonight."