Impossible Life of Mary Benson, The
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rheumatism 232, 241
The Soul of a Cat, and Other Stories 255, 292–3
at The Priory 292–3
and Tremans 254–5, 282–3
trip to Athens with brother 206–7
trip to Egypt with brother 207–8
The Venture of Rational Faith 241, 255, 285
view of brothers’ writing 276–7
Benson, Martin (son) 81, 91, 93, 95, 102–3, 112, 114
death 130–3
Benson, Mary (‘Ben’) (née Minnie Sidgwick)
Early Years
appearance and disposition 5, 37–8, 45, 46
childhood 3
Edward’s early intentions in marrying and Mary’s feelings for 23–5, 26, 27–32
engagement to Edward 34, 36–7, 40–3
falls in love with a girl 37, 81
life at Blue House 36–8
relationship with mother 3, 26, 37
Married Life
birth of children 81–3, 87, 97
breakdown suffered after Hugh’s birth and diagnosed with neurasthenia 81, 97–8, 100
circle of friends in London 172–3
and death of Edward xvii, 225, 227
determination to do her duty and be a good wife 75, 121, 122, 140, 159, 230–1
education of children 95
and Edward’s depressions 219
and Edward’s will 226
family holidays 146–7, 191–3
growth in confidence of 159–60
honeymoon travels 51–7
life as headmaster’s wife at Wellington and running of household 62–3, 65–73, 75, 81
life at Lambeth Palace and Addington and managing of households 155–6, 159, 160–1, 162, 165-6, 168–71
life at the Lincoln Chancery 112–13, 115, 117
life at Lis Escop and running of household 126, 128–9, 136, 139, 142
meets Gladstone 164–5
nervous collapse and periods away from home to recuperate 81, 88, 97, 98–102, 106, 117
relationship with Edward and marital disputes xvii, 64, 65, 73–7, 105, 108–9, 117, 119, 121, 122, 142, 144, 145, 217–18
sense of failure as a wife 74, 77
starts up musical society 115
travels 67–8
wedding 43–8
Personal Life
anxieties suffered 215–16, 219, 231
and Arthur’s depression 296
and bulimia 214
character and qualities 135–6, 144, 160, 162, 163, 165, 173, 176, 217
conflict between her Christianity and physical desires 150, 183–4, 211–13, 214
deafness in later years 310
death 312–13
and death of daughter (Nellie) 187, 188
and death of son (Martin) 132
diaries 6, 25, 31, 38–9, 48, 51, 74, 120–1, 123–4, 212, 215, 220
enjoyment of a good argument 163–4
and Hugh’s ordination as Roman Catholic priest 272
interest in the occult and spiritualism 72, 73–4, 86–7, 259–60
love of poetry 5
and Maggie’s mental breakdown 286–8, 290–1, 293–4, 297–8
and Nellie’s relationship with Ethel Smyth 183–6
overeating and weight gain 213–14, 231
pet parrot 95, 112, 163, 235, 257
poem by 263–4
and politics 173, 206
reading tastes 66, 115
relationship with children 95–6, 107, 115, 135–6, 163, 195, 256
relationship with Ellen Hall and letters written to 10, 102, 104, 107–8, 109
relationship with Emily Edwardes 83, 84, 87, 88
relationship with Ethel Smyth 176–7, 181–2, 185–6, 189
relationship with Fred (son) 163, 199, 201, 215–16, 228, 240, 270, 301
relationship with Hugh (son) 301, 306
relationship with Lucy Tait 189, 211–13, 215, 227, 239, 287
relationship with Maggie and treatment of by daughter during mental breakdown 242–4, 285, 286–9, 294, 297–8, 300, 302–3
relationship with Mary Basset 148–50, 152–3, 159, 171
relationship with Susan Wordsworth 99
relationship with Tan Mylne and influence of on 119–23, 148
relationships with other women 83–4, 119, 147–8
religious beliefs 117–18, 120, 121–2, 148, 159, 256–8
resemblance to Queen Victoria 233
suffering from gout and rheumatism 310
as a sympathetic ear and giver of advice 173–4
view of sons’ writing 276, 277–8, 279
Widowhood
and Beth’s last months and death 298–300
depressions 239
difficulties in adapting to and feelings of worthlessness 227, 230–1, 237–9
later years 310–12, 311
leaves Lambeth and packs up possessions after Edward’s death 227–8
life at Tremans 251–2, 256–7, 258–9, 259–60, 263–4, 264, 282
living in Winchester and missing of old life 234–5, 237–8
and London house 252, 259
moves to Tremans 246–9, 246, 248
need for economising 239–40
trip to Egypt with Lucy and Maggie 228–30
Benson, Nellie (daughter)
birth 81
character 141, 182–3
childhood and early years 90, 93, 113, 114, 125, 135, 136, 137, 140
death and funeral 186, 187–9
friendship with women 183
at Oxford University 146
relationship with Ethel Smyth 182–6
relationship with father 182
Beresford, Lady Charles 262
Berkeleys 65
Besant, Annie 118
Besant, Reverend Frank 118
Beth, Nurse (Elizabeth Cooper) 82, 90, 90, 130, 132, 147, 236, 264, 299
caring for Mary in early years 3, 34, 37
final months and death 298–9
funeral 300
looks after the Benson children and relationship with 81, 89–90, 102, 103, 146, 300
and Tremans 250–1, 260
Bevan, Gladys 255, 285
Blore, Edward 157
Blue House (Rugby) 35–7, 38, 39
Boer War 265
Bowler, Henry
The Doubt 74
Bowman, Revd J. 17
Bramston, Miss 237
Brewster, Henry 175, 183
British White-Lead Company 9
Brock, Thomas 249
Bronte, Charlotte
Jane Eyre 85–6
Brooks, John Ellingham 233, 303
Browne, Harold (Bishop of Winchester) 151–2, 157
Browning, Robert 169
Butt, Clara 267
Capri 233, 241, 301, 303
Chambers, Dr 293, 294, 295
Chat see Basset, Charlotte Mary Christian, Princess 234
Churchill, Winston 305
Clarence, Duke of 192–3
Coleridge, Wilfred 261
Collins, Wilkie
The Woman in White 85
Community of the Resurrection 270
Cooper, Elizabeth see Beth, Nurse
Crowfoot, Canon 115
Crummel, Alexander 17
Darwin, Charles 72
Davidson, Edith 232, 264
Davidson, Randall 157, 232, 233–4, 259, 264, 305, 309, 313
Derby, Lord 69
Dickens, Catherine 97
Dickens, Charles
Bleak House 156
Disraeli, Benjamin 124
Douglas, Lord Alfred 201, 207–8
Drew, Mary 220–1
Duchess of Bayswater, The 207
Edward VII, King 265, 267
Edwardes, Emily 83, 84, 87, 88, 108
Edwardes, Mrs 86–7, 88
Elgar, Edward 267
Eliot, George 115
Middlemarch 53–4, 62
Ellis, Sarah Stickney 78
Esher, Viscount 267
> Etty, Aunt (Henrietta) 25–6, 30, 33, 36, 90–1
Eugénie, Empress 177
First World War 304, 305, 305–6, 308, 310
Franz Ferdinand, Archduke assassination of 303–4
Frere, Miss 260
Freud, Sigmund 295
George, King (of Greece) 206
German schools 61
Germans
Victorian views on the 62
Ghost Society 19, 73, 169
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
‘The Yellow Wallpaper’ 288–9
Gladstone, Mrs 220–1, 225, 238
Gladstone, William xvii, 99, 151, 164, 164–5, 220, 221, 225, 238
Gore, Canon 270
Gosse, Sir Edmund 168, 261
Goulburn, Dr 35, 36
Gourlay, Nettie 210–11, 210, 236, 243, 255, 293, 297, 298
Hall, Ellen 102, 104, 106–7, 108, 109, 109, 159
Halsbury, Lord 163
Herzogenberg, Lisl von 175
Hichens, Robert 208
Irish Home Rule 165
Irving, Henry 206
Jackson, T.G. 249
James, Henry 169–71, 200, 235, 236–7, 246, 269, 275, 313
The Turn of the Screw 170
Jowett, Benjamin 62
Kempis, Thomas à
The Imitation of Christ 211
King Edward’s School (Birmingham) 9
Kingsley, Charles 70, 90
Kingsley, Frances 70
Lamb House (Rye) 313
Lambeth Palace 155–6, 157–8, 160, 168, 173
‘Land of Hope and Glory’ 267, 305
Lee, James Prince 9, 19, 40, 61
Lightfoot, Joseph 56
Lincoln Cathedral 103, 112
Lincoln Chancery 107, 111, 112–14, 124, 127
Lincoln Trial 219
Lindsay, Lady Jane 209
Lindsey, Ken 301
Lindsey, Mrs 301
Lis Escop (Truro) 127–9, 134–5, 136–7, 143
Lister, Reggie 207
Lloyd George, David 309
London fog 155–6
Lubbock, Percy 261
Lutyens, Lady Emily 201
Luxmoore, H.E. 261, 272–3
Mackenzie, Mrs, (‘Kenzie’) 107
Madan, Geoffrey 302
Magdalene College 267, 309
Malcolm, Dr 106
Mallory, George 261
Mann, Tony 190–1
Martin, Francis 18–19, 20–1, 30, 65
Master, Mr 69
Mathison, William Collings 19, 20
Maugham, Somerset 303
Meyer, Katie 84
Mons, Battle of 305
Morley, Viscount 312
Muscular Christianity 36, 203, 218
Mylne, Tan 119–23, 148, 244, 259
Nash, John 157
Nightingale, Florence 101
Nottbeck, Madame de (née Astor) 309
Olga, Queen 206
Oliphant, Margaret
A Story of a Wedding Tour 54–5
Oxford University 146
Pakington, Sir John 69
Patmore, Coventry
The Angel in the House 77, 78–9
Pippet, Gabriel 301
Pius X, Pope 305
Ponsonby, Lady 266
Ponsonby, Sir Henry 266
Priory, The 292, 294–5
Punch 276
railways 14–15
Reed, Miss 209–10
Reeve, Revd John 141
Richelieu, Ann 80
Ridding, George 83–4
Rolfe, Frederick 279–82, 301
The Desire and Pursuit of the Whole 281–2
Hadrian the Seventh 279
Rossetti, Christina
Goblin Market 86
Rugby school 35–6
Ruskin, John 79
St George’s Convent 291
St Paul’s Association 255
Salisbury, Lady 70
Saturday Magazine 114, 140
Savage, Dr George 291
Scholae Cancelarii 116, 117
Scott, Sir Walter 5
Sessions, Dr 301
Shaw, George Bernard 180
Sidgwick, Ann (née Benson) 11
Sidgwick, Arthur (Mary’s brother) 3–4, 36, 72, 100, 126, 196
Sidgwick, Eleanor (Aunt Nora) 259
Sidgwick, Henry (Mary’s brother) 3–4, 36, 72–3, 126, 146, 259
Sidgwick, Mary (Mary’s mother) 16, 65
and Blue House 36
character and appearance 3, 26–7, 27
concern over Edward’s early intentions of marrying Mary 23–4, 25, 26, 29–30, 32
death 146
and education of daughter 40–1
and husband’s death 26
relationship with daughter 3, 26, 37
relationship with Edward 27, 32
takes in Edward’s sisters 16, 26
Sidgwick, Mr (father) 3–4
Sidgwick, William (Mary’s brother) 4, 36
Sisters of Mercy 291
Skipton Castle 4
Smyth, Ethel 174–80, 174, 259, 294
affair with Henry Brewster 183
antipathy towards by Edward 179–81
behaviour 177–8
and Benson children 178
depiction of in Fred Benson’s Dodo 175–6, 178–9, 201
gulf with Mary over music 181–2
infatuation with Empress Eugénie 177
musical abilities 181
relationship with Lisl von Herzogenberg 175
relationship with Mary 176–7, 181–2, 185–6, 189
relationship with Nellie 182–6
view of Hugh 272
and women’s suffrage 266
Society for Holy Living 12
Society for Psychical Research 73, 259
Sollitt, Dr 9, 10, 19
Somerset, Lady Henry 173, 237, 259, 304
Stephen, Julia Duckworth
Notes from Sickrooms 100
Swedenborg, Emanuel 147
Tait, Archbishop 151, 156–7, 189, 190
Tait, Archibald 35
Tait, Lucy 189–91, 219, 264
background 189–90
catches typhoid 232
character 264–5, 287
and First World War 310
life after Mary’s death 313
living with Benson family at Lambeth 190–1
love of Tremans 250
Maggie’s jealousy and resentment of 203–4, 229, 234, 240, 243, 285, 286, 287, 290, 294, 295
relationship with Mary 189, 211–13, 215, 227, 239, 287
trip to Egypt with Mary 228–30
in Winchester 234
Talbot, Meriel 178
Tavistock, Marchioness of see Bedford, Duchess of
Temple, Archbishop 270
Temple, Dr Frederick 48, 60–1
Tennant, Margot 200–1
Tennyson, Lord 168–9
The Princess 5, 6, 34
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Vanity Fair 53
Todd, Dr Ross 244, 290–1, 292, 309
Tremans 246, 247–9, 248, 250–5, 251, 282–3, 313
Truro Cathedral 144
Tunis 191, 192, 193
Victoria, Queen xvii, 14, 97, 124, 152, 166–8, 227, 233–4
death 265
Diamond Jubilee (1897) 233
editing of letters by Arthur Benson 167, 267
reliance on Edward when Archbishop 166–7
Wales, Prince of 193
Walpole, Spencer 69
Walsh, J.H.
Manual of Domestic Economy 64
Wellington College 43, 59–61, 60, 62–4, 89–90
Wellington, Duke of 60
Wesley, Charles 187–8
Westcott, Canon 125
White, Francis 11
White Heather Club 178
Wiesbaden 100, 101
Wilde, Oscar 199, 201, 208, 233
‘Willie We Have Missed You’ 71, 72
Winchester
234
women’s suffrage 265, 266
Woolf, Virginia 291
Wordsworth, Christopher 98
Wordsworth, Elizabeth 98–9, 146, 257
Wordsworth, John 98
Wordsworth, Susan 99, 126, 128
Wordsworth, William 100
Yeats-Brown, Francis 301
York, Duke of 167, 168, 193