REGRET - The Price of Truth: Everhide Rockstar Romance Series Book 4

by Tania Joyce

By two a.m., the party had died. A few stragglers—Reg, Kilt, Basil and a couple of other people—had disappeared down to the basement to smoke pot. The sickly stench drifted into the living room. Hayden was quick to jump off the sofa, shut the door and light some vanilla-scented candles.

  “Do you wanna go home?” Lexi ruffled her fingers through her curls.

  “I’m okay. Soon.” Hayden returned to sitting behind her on the sofa and drew her against his chest. Nestled between his legs, Lexi tugged the quilt over them and let her head fall back onto his shoulder. Cuddled in this position did push the limit of their just-friends pretense, but it was cold, Hayden was warm and she was just too damn tired and comfortable to contemplate moving.

  The gas fire flickered brightly. The movie New Year’s Eve played quietly on the flat-screen. Kilt’s grandad was snoring in the corner on his rocking chair, and Lewis was wrapped up with his latest boyfriend on the other sofa, asleep.

  Locked in Hayden’s embrace—one of his arms draped over her shoulder and across her chest, the other lying low on her belly— Lexi’s eyes fluttered closed. If she wasn’t careful, she’d fall asleep too.

  He slipped his hand underneath her sweater and stroked his thumb against her skin. His touch was like a sedative, calming and relaxing.

  With her curls hooked out of the way, he kissed the soft spot beneath her lobe and made a trail up to her ear. “I love you in my arms.”

  She smiled and cuddled his bicep. Inhaled and let the scent of his sandalwood cologne fill her head. “Yeah. It’s nice.”

  “Wanna know what I love more?” His fingertips glided across her belly, drawing tiny circles in their wake. Then they stopped, fumbled with the top button of her jeans, popped it open.

  She grabbed his hand, but he drew it away with his other and pinned it to her chest. “Shh. Sit still. Don’t wanna wake Grandpa.”

  Grandpa’s head lolled forward, and he continued to snore softly.

  “Grandpa’s not the one I’m worried about,” Lexi whispered. “But Lewis and Emilio are right there.” She jutted her chin toward them.

  “Then don’t move and no one will notice anything.” His voice lowered to a dangerous level of sweet seduction that ignited Lexi’s insides. “I wanna touch you.”

  “What?” Just his words, his hot breath on her neck, ignited a flurry of flames between her legs.

  “I’ve wanted to be with you all night. Please?” He lowered her zipper ever so slowly and cupped between her legs.

  “Hayden. Stop.” She squeezed her knees together, capturing his hand.

  “Lex. Let go. Live a little. Let me make you feel good.”

  She furrowed her brow. His words hit deeper than expected. For years, she’d been more wound up than a steel cable on a suspension bridge, working excessive hours, looking after her mom, worrying about Hayden, his mother and her friends. She’d always put others first. She rarely did anything for herself. Her excessive use of Tinder and clubbing provided short-term tension relief and enabled her to keep her emotions locked away.

  Being with Hayden this past week had been exhilarating, her growing feelings confronting, the decisions ahead daunting. But with him, there was no facade. She did need to let go, live life. Do more for herself. He’d cut through some of the ties holding her down.

  The quilt tented over their knees. If she didn’t move, no one could see he had his hands down her pants. Could she do this in a room with other people? They were asleep. Right?

  “I’ve got you. I promise,” he whispered into her ear, grazed his teeth over her lobe.

  She melted against his chest. He’d never do anything to hurt or embarrass her. She could do this. Wanted his touch.

  Wedged between his legs, she shuffled a couple of inches lower on the sofa. Hayden dipped his hands into her jeans, rubbed his fingers over her silky panties. She could feel him smiling against her hair. Doing this . . . in Kilt’s living room . . . was kinda hot. Damn hot.

  She wriggled her butt to loosen the denim to give him more access.

  “That’s my angel. Now relax.”

  “It’s hard with Grandpa over there,” she whispered.

  “Keep your eyes shut.” He fumbled with the top edge of her panties and slid his hand downward. Her whole body was on fire, and he hadn’t even touched her yet. “Pretend you’re asleep.” Slipping his finger between the folds of her slit, he stroked her up and down. He growled low into her ear. “Fuck, I love it when you’re wet.”

  Holy fuckity fuck, alright.

  So hot.

  She didn’t need much fingering; it wouldn’t take her long to come. She’d pop from his panty-dropping voice rasping in her ear. This was insane. Scrunching her nose, needing more of his touch, she let her knees fall wider.

  “Don’t screw up your face.” He chuckled against her hair. “Too obvious if someone sees.”

  Panicked, she glanced around the room, but no eyes were on them. Pulling the quilt tight under her chin, she turned her head toward his chest. His thudding heart and heavy breaths charged every nerve in her system. Slipping his other hand underneath her sweater, he cupped her breast. Massaged her flesh. Teased her nipple. She was losing her mind. This was crazy. Anyone could walk out of the basement at any moment. Lewis and Emilio could wake at any second. Grandpa, too.

  Down in her panties, Hayden’s strokes, slow and torturous, teased and circled her clit. Dipping his fingers inside her, a moan rumbled deep in his throat. “You feel so good. Turn me on.”

  He tilted his hips and pressed his hard-on against lower back. She bit her lip. She liked having that effect on him. Maybe she could reach behind her and touch him? But when she shifted forward, he pinned her back against his chest and wouldn’t let her move.

  “Stay still.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. If you don’t . . . I’ll stop.” His hand halted, one finger buried inside her.

  Her insides clenched around him, greedy for more of his touch. She wanted to rock her hips and rub against his palm. Get friction. Get off. “Fuck. Don’t stop.”

  “Then be good.” His voice was soft velvet in her ear.

  She ran her hand down his leg, clutched, then released the denim of his jeans. Taking a deep breath, she sank against his chest. She was at his complete mercy. “This better?”

  “Much.” He kissed her neck as one more finger entered her and the two continued their onslaught. His other hand tugged the cup of her bra aside and teased her bare nipple.

  Her hips pulsed to meet his touch. Fire ripped through her veins. Her breath hard to control. She curled her fingers around his thigh and dug them into his muscle. Her knees fell wider. She wanted to fuck his hand. “Mmm . . . there,” wisped from her lips.

  Hayden’s heart hammered against her back. His breath heavy in her ear. He rubbed her harder. Drove into her deeper. Stroked her faster. Each touch wound the tension in her muscles tighter and tighter like a fuse about to blow. She tried not to move. Her breath shuddered. Her chest ached. Her hips twitched.

  Kissing and nipping at the soft spot on her neck, Hayden increased the pressure of his fingers, rubbed, stroked, and circled.

  “Oh, wow.” A jolt of electricity shot through her body. Her orgasm ripped through her, shuddered in every cell, rippled down to the tips of her toes.

  “Hayds?” Lewis’s sleepy voice drifted from the sofa. “What time are we practicing on Wednesday?”

  Fuck!

  Lexi couldn’t breathe. Her heartbeat jammed in her throat. Her orgasm still coursed through her.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  Hayden chuckled into her neck, held her tight and took a steadying breath. “Um . . . not ’til after lunch. Two I think.”

  “You okay, man?”

  Terrified of being busted, Lexi pretended to sleep.

  “Yeah. Just cold. Keeping Lex warm. Shh . . . she’s asleep.”

  Like hell she was. The heat in her cheeks was hotter than coals in a fire. She gripped onto Hayden’s
thigh tighter to let him know she was in agony.

  “Cool.” Lewis lowered his voice. “We’re going to go home.”

  Lexi took a peek as Lewis dragged Emilio to his feet, then quickly snapped her eyelids shut. Her insides still pulsed and throbbed against Hayden’s hand stuck down her panties. Shit. She wanted to grab his hand, rip it away, but he seemed to be enjoying her torture too much.

  “You wanna share an Uber?” Lewis said quietly.

  “No, we’re good.” Hayden’s head rested against hers. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. See ya.”

  Once Lewis and Emilio left, Hayden removed his hand and nuzzled against her ear. “Shit, I’m so sorry.” He chuckled. “But you’ve got to admit. That was so fucking hot.”

  Stars still swirled before Lexi’s eyes. “We nearly got caught.”

  “Nah. We’re fine. But would you like me to do that to you every night watching TV?”

  “Or we could do this?” She turned around onto her belly and shuffled beneath the quilt. She unzipped his jeans and freed his rock-hard cock.

  “Lex. Shit.” But he didn’t stop her—he just adjusted the quilt and wriggled his ass so she could pull his jeans lower.

  Taking him in her mouth, she licked and kissed and sucked him. Pumped her hand over his length. He buried his hands into her hair; his groans and pulsing hips urged her on. It took him less than thirty seconds to blow his load.

  “Wow.” He slumped against the sofa arm. “You truly are an angel.”

  She flicked the quilt off, rinsed her mouth with the remains of her champagne sitting on the coffee table and did up her jeans. She couldn’t help but smile as she stole a kiss from his lips. “We’re even.”

  “Not even.” He zipped up his fly.

  “Let’s go home.”

  “Sure.” He called an Uber and grabbed their coats off the floor.

  Walking past the rocking chair, Grandpa chuckled, his head still drooping forward. “You sly dogs, you.”

  Oh shit. Grandpa had been watching.

  Giggling, they raced outside and into the Uber.

  Hayden laughed as he hooked his arm around her shoulders. “We just gave Grandpa the best thrill he’s probably had in years.”

  “How embarrassing.” Lexi buried her face into her hands. “I’ll never be able to go there again.”

  “Good thing you won’t have to. We won’t be here.”

  That was a blow to her stomach.

  As the car headed toward Manhattan, Hayden’s looming move to Boston pressed heavily into her chest. Her feelings for him were still as unsettled as boiling water. Love hadn’t smacked her over the head and dragged her into a cave like it had when she’d met Quintin. She needed certainty, stability, clarity. She had none of that.

  Sleeping with Hayden, letting her guard down, had changed her. He’d forced her to look at her life. He’d made her realize how trapped she’d been, that she’d dug herself into her own hole with her mom, given up on her photography and avoided close relationships for too long. They were things he’d been telling her for years, but she’d been too self-absorbed to notice and had chosen to ignore him.

  As they crossed the bridge, the car wheels thudded against the road. Lexi stared out the window. She had so many things to consider. If she didn’t have to care for her mom and money wasn’t an issue, what job would she do? Hayden’s move to Boston wasn’t a short-term stint; this was permanent. What was she going to do about him?

  Hayden entwined his fingers with hers, kissed her on the temple. “I love you,” he whispered.

  She squeezed his hand, nuzzled her head against his shoulder. “I know you do.”

  He chuckled and held her tight.

  The way he made her feel was intoxicating, empowering. When she was with him, he made anything and everything seem possible. His impending move crushed her.

  She rubbed her temple. Her head ached from too much thinking and too much champagne. With so many new revelations, new feelings and changes in the past few weeks, she needed to focus on herself. Once she sorted out what to do with her career and her mom, she was certain her future direction with Hayden would become clear.

  She eased her hand beneath his coat and rested it over his heart. The steady beat soothed her troubled mind. She just wanted to be here, in the now, with him. Feel the bliss of his touch hum through her body, let his warmth seep into her skin. Not worry about what lay ahead. She wanted to savor the moment. Because right then, in his arms, everything felt perfect.

  And perfect never lasted.

  Or maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

  Chapter 19

  Lexi jumped off the subway at East 23rd Street and rushed up Madison Avenue to Everhide’s management office. Running ten minutes late, she picked up her pace, dodging dawdling people, darting through chaotic traffic and leaping over puddles of snow sludge. Gemma and the guys were back from Japan and had called her in for an urgent meeting. Wouldn’t say what it was about.

  That did nothing to settle Lexi’s nerves. Had something gone wrong with the photos she’d taken at the concert two and a half weeks ago? She’d been monitoring the number of hits and comments on their social media accounts. The results had seemed great. Surely they would’ve told her by now if there was an error. Had she missed something? Whatever the issue, she’d do her best to fix it.

  She’d been too preoccupied with Hayden to worry about work. He’d been a very fine distraction. Perhaps if he’d let her out of bed this morning, she wouldn’t have been so late.

  Sweat beaded underneath her thick curls, but it wasn’t from running. Now her friends were back, she had to be careful. She had to keep Hayden and her under wraps. Gemma was often too perceptive. Lexi didn’t want her girlfriend to grill her about Hayden in the middle of their meeting. Lexi’s heart, her gut and her mind remained in constant turmoil. Her feelings for him had changed, grown deeper, but were they enough? With only a few days left until he moved to Boston, he’d be expecting an answer about continuing their relationship soon. Her blood ran hot and cold with every yes-be-with-him or no-I-can’t thought process.

  Maybe she should flip a coin. Let it decide.

  Hayden needed to know. So did she. After this meeting, when her nerves weren’t on edge, she’d find a nice bar, sit by herself, order a wine—maybe a bottle—and sort her head and her heart out.

  By the time she walked into the lobby and took the elevator up to management’s floor, Lexi’s stomach was tied in more twists and knots than a pretzel. She had to put on her best poker face, play it cool throughout this meeting. Avoid any conversation about Hayden. I got this.

  Pulling off her coat and scarf, Lexi followed the receptionist to the meeting room and stepped inside. Gemma, Kyle and Hunter were already sitting at the round mahogany table. So were Bec, Kate and Sophie. Folders and documents, laptops and tablets were scattered in front of them. Hmm . . . planning day.

  “Hey.” Lexi dumped her purse on a leather chair. “Sorry I’m late. Subway was a bitch. How was Japan?”

  “Awesome.” Gemma jumped up and gave her a quick hug. “Shows were huge.”

  The guys gave her a quick hug too. Bec and the others shook her hand across the table.

  Gemma sat and patted the chair beside her. “Lex, how was New Year’s? You and Hayds do anything fun? We’ve been so crazy busy. I haven’t heard much from you.”

  Lexi slid onto the chair and smoothed her hands over her dress pants. Breathe. “Um . . . nope . . . nothing much.” Other than have copious amounts of sex in every room in our apartment, multiple times a day. “It’s been boring. We’ve watched a heap of Netflix and went to Kilt’s for New Year’s. That’s it.”

  “Fair enough.” Gemma shrugged and hooked her hair behind her ear. But her eyes darted back to meet Lexi’s, made the hairs on her arms stand on end.

  Was Gemma onto her? Damn! She hadn’t said anything.

  Lexi swallowed hard; her mouth ran dry. Her hands trembled as she
grabbed the jug of water and poured herself a glass. “So, what’s up?”

  The serious looks on everyone’s faces made her pulse jump.

  Kyle leaned forward, flicked his dark blond bangs off his face. “What’s happened with your job at Gourmet Reviewer? You still like it there?”

  Wait. What? “Um . . . no. Not much. Not after Chase.” What did that have to do with anything?

  “What about the promo you were after?” Gemma asked. “You still aiming for that?”

  “It’d be nice, but I don’t want to be there anymore.” Lexi had worked from home as much as possible, booked as many reviews as she could fit into her day. “I’m going to look for a new job soon, once Hayden’s moved,” she said, fidgeting with her glass of water.

  “Well, here’s the thing. We’ve run into an issue that needs fixing.” Hunter stopped doodling on his notepad and waved his pen at Bec, Sophie and Kate. “These three can’t keep up anymore.”

  “Why? You too much of a diva?” Lexi slapped him with a dose of his usual sarcasm.

  “Me? A diva?” His fake shock morphed into a humble grin. “Okay. But only sometimes. You know me too well, Lexster.”

  Gemma giggled and shushed Hunter. She turned to Lexi. The bright lights made her emerald eyes glimmer. “Our workload has gone into overdrive. We’ve got to the point where we need to add someone else to our team. We love you to pieces and wondered if you’d be interested?”

  Her heartbeat skyrocketed through the ceiling, hit the space station and shot back to Earth. Holy shit. This was not what she’d been expecting. This was . . . wow! “What? Work for you? Doing what?”

  “It’s a new position. We haven’t got a title as such, but we want you to be our full-time photographer, help Kate in publicity and marketing, and work with our creative team for shoots and video clips, and on the documentary Sophie just roped us in to doing.”

  Lexi placed her hand over her somersaulting stomach that wanted to cartwheel down Madison Avenue. Tingles shivered over every inch of her skin. Tears welled in her eyes. After her work dramas, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. But doubts popped into her head. “Marketing? I don’t know anything about marketing.”