In Time for Love

by Kessily Lewel

  Her face, already pink, deepened to a rose shade and she looked down quickly to avoid the heated gaze, trying to ignore the flash of interest it set off in her own body.

  "So, who was he?" Jack asked quietly. The amusement had vanished from his voice, to be replaced by a serious tone.

  Her head jerked up, eyes confused. "Who's who?"

  "The guy who broke your heart," he replied simply.

  She faltered, mouth opening and closing as she tried to find words. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, finally, in an uncertain tone. Her hand went up to play with her hair, tugging the pony tail forward so she could curl the ends around her fingers in a nervous gesture. Her agitated fidgeting had always irritated Christopher. He would snap at her to stay still, but she couldn't help it. She was always chewing on her lip or playing with her hair and even being punished for it hadn't curbed the habit.

  Jack tilted his head, looking at her, and then he sighed. He pushed his plate to the side, stacking it on top of hers and leaned forward. "If you don't want to talk about it, you can say so, but don't lie to me. I really hate being lied to," he said.

  There was a warning to the words, and she swallowed hard as her stomach did a low flip. How did this guy, whom she barely knew, keep managing to put her on the edge like this? "I-I just…how did you know?" she asked. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked at him.

  "Well, Katherine, it wasn't much of a guess, to be honest. Don't see many sad people on a cruise ship, and you looked like you were grieving there at the bar. Then, when I fixed your shoe, I noticed the, uh, jewelry." He jerked his chin down at the table, like he could see her ankle through the solid surface.

  She winced as she realized what he meant. "Oh, I'd forgotten about that. I'm just so used to wearing it all the time. I meant to take it off before I left home, but I forgot." A small lie; she hadn't forgotten; she just couldn't bear to cut through the elegant silver chain of the anklet that Christopher had given her. It didn't have a clasp, and cutting it was the only way to remove it. It was what passed for her collar—something she could wear in public without anyone knowing what it meant unless they looked close enough to see the word 'Owned' etched in script on the silver band.

  Since she was never allowed to take it off, there would be no reason to make it removable, Christopher had explained as she'd watched him solder the ends of the chain together. She'd been anxious, shivering nervously as the heat got close to her skin, but he was careful, and the padding he'd placed between her skin and the silver kept it from burning. There'd been no pain, only a permanent reminder that she belonged to him. She'd been with him for six months at that point. Already half-way through their relationship, but she hadn't even known it.

  She really was the worst liar, and she knew Jack wasn't fooled, but he didn't comment on it, and she was grateful for that. She needed to hold onto that small semblance of pride, and admitting she couldn't bear to take off the most tangible reminder of someone who'd tossed her away so easily would destroy that.

  A deck hand with a tray of drinks wandered by, and she stopped him to order one. With a full stomach, the buzz she'd been feeling had pretty much disappeared. She made a point of not looking at Jack when she ordered, avoiding the impression that she felt the need to check with him. But she also had an odd little girl feeling of being naughty and was glad when he joined her in ordering one.

  "I don't want to push, but talking helps sometimes, and I'm a willing ear if you need one," he said, once the waiter had wandered off towards the bar. "Guessing this guy who has you all broken up was more than just a boyfriend?" he asked.

  She caught her breath and then nodded slowly. "He was my dominant, too. My first and probably my last," she added with a bitter laugh. She dropped her hands into her lap, one holding the other tight enough to hurt as she tried to head off the tears that wanted to pour out of her.

  "I'm sorry. Sounds like it happened pretty recently and you're still trying to deal with it. That why you took a trip? To clear your head?" he asked gently. His eyes darkened as he watched her, a look of sympathy filling them when the question caused her to take a gulping breath.

  She shook her head and looked past him to the rail. She could just see a line of water from this angle, but most of the view was the beautiful cloudless sky. She focused on it as the words began to pour out of her. She explained about the trip. Telling him how Christopher had purchased the tickets as a one-year anniversary gift, several months back. She babbled through the description of the sudden break-up and the wreckage it had left of her life. "Fuck, I-I even work for him. We have the same gym. I-I guess I should just be really thankful that I never moved in with him. He wanted me to, you know? He said it was silly for me to keep my crappy little apartment when he had a whole house with plenty of room. I was actually considering it, but it seemed like such a big step." He'd pushed, and she'd balked, as usual.

  He'd already been involved in every other facet of her life; the idea of coming home to a shared house had made her feel anxious. She enjoyed her own space and, sometimes, she really needed to be by herself. Christopher had wanted to possess every second of her life, and she was just now realizing how much it had irritated him that she wouldn't give in. She would have eventually, of course; she always did, but he wasn't the most patient man.

  In hindsight, there'd been a change in his behavior when she'd told him for the third time that she needed more time to think about it. Maybe he was planning to leave her, even then. If she'd known, she almost certainly would have let him have his way, but caving because she was afraid of losing him didn't make it the right choice, she reminded herself sternly. Some of her internal conflict must have shown on her face, because Jack gave her another sympathetic look.

  "If it was right for you to move in, you'd have known it. The fact that you hesitated probably means you had good reason to wait," he said.

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly until she felt the tightness in her chest releasing and then she nodded. "I guess. I should have realized he'd give up on me, eventually. He's not that patient, and I can be pretty stubborn," she admitted.

  Jack frowned, and he gave a sharp headshake. "A good dominant…" he paused and then corrected himself "…Anyone who truly cares about you should respect your need for time and space when making a decision like that." There was heavy disapproval in his voice, and she shivered, even though she knew it wasn't for her.

  She wondered why she felt compelled to try and defend Christopher still, but she did. "You don't understand. I was supposed to obey him. A real submissive would have wanted to please him enough to take that step without questioning," she said earnestly. Those weren't her words, not really. She was parroting things he'd implied more than once when she got too stubborn.

  "Ah. I'm not entirely sure it works just like that," Jack said. He looked at her thoughtfully and seemed to be weighing his words. "I think if you have to force submission, then it's not meant to be, not with him. Maybe part of you knew that and that's why you hesitated?" he suggested gently.

  She shrugged, looking away from his intense dark eyes and focusing instead on a pair of lovers crossing the deck hand-in-hand. Her heart ached at the sight, but she couldn't take her eyes off of them. They seemed so in love.

  He watched her watching them, with a look of concern on his face. He wasn't entirely experienced at cheering up miserable women, but he was going to do his best. "Katherine, you do prefer Katherine, right? No nickname like Kathy or Katie?"

  She shook her head without looking at him, still intently focused on the happy lovers. "Katherine it is, then. Listen, we're both here solo, and these things are more fun with company. How would you feel about getting to know each other better?" he suggested.

  That caught her attention, and her head swiveled back around in surprise. "You mean, do the cruise together? Excursions and stuff?"

  "Yes, absolutely. I'm sure I could go to the concierge desk and have them change our dining room seating ass
ignments so we could sit next to each other, and I don't really have any special plans for the trip. I've been on a few cruises, so now I'm more laid back and only do what I feel like, but I'd be happy to play tour guide," he assured her, offering her an easy-going smile.

  I…but I don't think I'd be much fun. I mean I'm such a mess," she said. Her tone sounded lost, not unlike her expression, but there was just a touch of noticeable interest there, too.

  "So? Everyone goes through rough spots, and it's better not to be alone for them. I'll keep you company and we'll have some fun. I can tell you that there're some great places to see that aren't on the standard cruise excursion list," he said, coaxing her to say yes.

  She hesitated, nibbling one corner of her bottom lip and looking tempted. "I'd hate to ruin the trip for you."

  "Katherine, I promise you that won't happen. You can be sad if you need to be, and I'll be happy to sit next to you and listen, but I'm hoping I can at least take your mind off things for a while. So, what do you say?" he pressed gently, one eyebrow going up in question.

  Her hands fluttered nervously in her lap, and she folded them to keep them still. There was more than a hint of dominance to his personality, and it called to her. Plus, his casual acceptance that she was a submissive also implied he wasn't inexperienced with D/s, either—or at least, he wasn't uneducated about it. Part of her, a big part, wanted to grab onto that with both arms and cling, but the rest of her was scared of getting in over her head. She'd tried the submissive route and look what it had brought her—a lover who tossed her away when she didn't comply fast enough. What if Jack wasn't any different? What if…

  Thoughts racing a mile a minute inside her head, she was torn in so many directions, it was a complete surprise when she heard herself agreeing. "I-I think I'd like that, Jack," she said in a calm tone that was the complete opposite of the frantic, overwhelming emotions she was feeling.

  "Good, then it's settled. What would you like to do today?" he asked pleasantly, settling back in his seat with a look of contentment on his attractive face. Since they were at sea, the activities would be onboard, but that didn't really limit them much.

  "I didn't really look at the schedule today, but I could go back to my room and get it," she suggested. She knew there were a lot of things happening on the ship but had no idea exactly where or when. She'd mostly just planned to avoid the sun and drink the day away, so she hadn't bothered to look at the scheduled activities printed on the morning news sheet that had been slipped under her door.

  "Not necessary," he assured her. "They post it all over the place, but if you prefer, we could just relax. Maybe swim? Hot tub?"

  She brightened; swimming sounded like a wonderful idea. The sun beat down on the deck, and even under the canvas umbrella, she could feel beads of sweat rolling down her skin in salty drops. Only the stiff ocean breeze kept the heat from being oppressive, but a swim sounded just heavenly. "That's a wonderful idea," she said, expressing eagerness for the first time.

  Her smile seemed to light up her face, transforming her, in that instant, from pretty to beautiful, and his attention was immediately caught. An answering smile appeared on his lips as he gave her a heated, almost possessive look that seemed out of place on someone she'd only just met, but it still gave her a little flutter of pleasure. The idea that she was desirable to him lightened some of the depression that had covered her like a suffocating blanket lately.

  She cleared her throat nervously, dropping her eyes as her pale skin pinkened again. "I'll just run and change into my suit," she whispered as she got up quickly.

  She reached down and picked up her plate, but he stopped her. "Don't worry; I'll clean up. My room's close, so it won't take me long. You know this ship has three pools, right?" he said and then laughed at her surprised look.

  "Three? Why…oh, well, there are a lot of people," she said. While it was true the ship was so huge it didn't seem crowded, there were still thousands onboard.

  "One is set up for children, a pirate theme, I think. The second one is secluded and adults only. It's got some kind of romantic theme." He paused, looking her over, and she stiffened. Her hands clenched around the edge of the plate she was still holding, worried suddenly that he was just looking for a one-night stand. "But I think you'd be more comfortable with the open salt-water pool on the top deck. It's big, and there are hot tubs, too," he finished.

  He hadn't missed her sudden anxiety, and he had no intention of rushing her. The chemistry was there; it was enough that they both felt it. She relaxed, her eyes lifting to meet his as she smiled again. "Yes, please. That sounds perfect. I'll meet you there?" she asked, letting go of the plate and slinging the straps of her tote over her shoulder.

  "I'll be there," he assured her. He started clearing up their lunch mess as she hurried away.

  There was a spring in her step as she headed inside. Unfortunately, her cabin was all the way at the other end of the ship, because Christopher had gotten them a special suite to celebrate. It had its own balcony that looked out over the ocean, which was nice, but it was also isolated and far from the fun parts of the ship. Purposely, he'd said when he'd shown her the cabin chart. "It will be worth the walking and the extra money." He had smirked. "Walls tend to be on the thin side on ships, and I intend to do many evil things to your body. I don't want the neighbors ruining my fun with noise complaints," he'd said, chuckling when she shivered, squirming a little in her seat.

  He always knew exactly what to say or do to get the reaction he wanted. No matter how much she tried to stop her body, it always betrayed her. Just a few words from him or the slightest touch of his hand were enough. In a way, she hadn't just been grieving emotionally for him, her body had been in mourning for his hand, as well. She so badly needed to feel a caress or a hard smack to help her pull everything back together.

  She stepped into the nearest elevator and hit the button for her floor. She leaned against a mirrored wall and looked out through the clear glass at the back, watching the cavernous inside of the massive ship passing by for a moment as the car began to descend, and then she closed her eyes and sighed. Jack…Jack Drake. His name sounded like some action star out of a movie, but he was strong. Dominant, too, that had been obvious. She was already feeling drawn to him, and part of her felt so guilty about it.

  How could she feel like a traitor to Christopher when he was the one who threw her away like yesterday's trash? Maybe she was more loyal than he was, but it didn't matter. She'd come on this trip hoping to have some fun and pull out of her depression so she could think and make some decisions about where to go in her life, and that was exactly what she was going to do. Jack was probably just what she needed to break the hold Christopher still had on her.

  Besides, she was on a cruise ship far from home; if Jack was a mistake, she could simply walk away and never see him again. Maybe that was even the best plan, she decided. Throw herself into the trip, enjoy every second, and then, at the end, she'd go back home and it would be done. There was a niggling bit of doubt in the back of her mind that it would be that easy, but she ignored it.

  The elevator stopped, and from there, it was a ten-minute walk to her room. The gorgeous sprawling suite, so expensive on a ship, deserved the moment of attention she gave it before digging through the drawers for her new suit—all done in shades of cream and blue, she'd had a comfortable evening lounging on the sofa and soaking in the Jacuzzi tub, but she was glad she'd forced herself up on deck today. It had turned out to be worth it, and she'd never have met Jack, hiding in her room.

  She tossed her suit on the king-sized bed and began to strip, hurrying a little because she was anxious to get back to his company. The air-conditioned walk had dried her skin, so she didn't have to fight to get the spandex over clammy skin, which was good, because it was very formfitting. She turned in front of the mirror and admired her reflection. She was rarely pleased with how she looked, but this suit flattered her in all the right places and she felt confident, fo
r a change.

  She threw a gauzy white cover-up on over the suit and grabbed her tote bag. It held a book that she doubted she'd be reading now that she had company, but also, the all-important waterproof sun-block to keep her from crisping. The trip to the top deck seemed faster, maybe because she was excited, or maybe she was just getting used to the journey. Either way, she stepped out on the deck feeling like she hadn't taken too long to get there. Jack, however, was already there and waiting with a smile.

  His dark eyes roved over her body in appreciation, and she flushed. She scolded herself mentally. If she was going to fully enjoy this trip and her time with him, she was going to have to stop blushing every time he looked at her. "Ready to swim or do you want to lie on the deck first?" he asked, leaving the choice to her.

  "Oh, swim please. I'm not used to all this heat," she said, sighing. She grabbed a couple of towels from a stack and then looked around for some empty deck chairs.

  "Over there," he said, pointing to a couple of unoccupied loungers.

  She dropped the towels and her bag onto one and then hesitated before pulling out the sun-block. "Um, would you mind?" she asked shyly as she extended the bottle towards him. "I burn easily," she added.

  "Can't have that, now, can we?" he said, taking it and squirting a puddle of it into the palm of his hand. She appreciated how efficiently he covered all her exposed skin with the heavy white cream, rubbing just enough so that it began to sink in. She'd expected him to use the opportunity to grope her or linger too long on her skin, but he didn't. He simply covered her in a thick layer and handed back the bottle.

  She wasn't sure if she should be annoyed or flattered, but she didn't have time to figure it out since he was already striding across the deck to dive effortlessly into the deep end of the pool. She'd never learned how to dive, but he made it look easy. Still, she wasn't the type to jump into anything with both feet and, instead, made her way to the shallow end. Working her way slowly down the wide steps into the pool, she let her skin adjust to the chilly water. She was actually surprised that it was cool; she'd expected bathwater warm, but it wasn't.