Symbiosis (Scintillate Series Book 2)

by Karen Tjebben

  My toes dug into the sand as I made my way out of the water and up the beach. I collapsed onto the grass. My new life was now one lie after another. Who would know the real me? How much of my true self could I share with anyone? As I stared into the sky, the white clouds slowly transformed as they crawled across the blue canvas. Would all my friendships now be as thin and wispy as the aimless shapes that captured my eyes? No. My relationships with my Asteri family would strengthen and deepen over time. Only they would know the real me.

  “I’m sorry,” Alex said, breaking my attention from the shifting clouds. “It’s challenging to find the balance between being honest and not overwhelming you. I’m doing the best I can.” He sat against a tree and rested his head against the trunk. His elbows rested on his knees and his fingers were interlocked.

  “I know,” I said. “I’m sorry I got frustrated. I’m just tired of feeling like you know things that you won’t tell me. Do you know what that feels like?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “Sarah deceived me the night she died. She knew what she was going to do, but she didn’t tell me. I didn’t get to say goodbye.” He stared at his hands as he slowly flexed his fingers.

  I sat up and crossed my legs. “You wouldn’t have said goodbye. You would have stopped her.”

  “That’s right,” Alex said. “That’s why she didn’t tell me. She knew I’d never let her do that.”

  “I know her death tore you up, but she saved everyone.” I couldn’t look into Alex’s eyes. There was too much pain there, so I picked up a tiny rock and stared at it. The smooth surface felt cool on my fingertips as I moved it around in my hand. “I think she was brave and noble. I don’t think I would ever have the courage to do that.”

  “Hopefully you’ll never have to.”

  Sarah didn’t hesitate when the time came. Was that because she believed she’d be resurrected, or did she just believe in the honor of sacrifice? Some people put themselves at risk every day. Are they born or shaped into brave beings?

  Faint striations in the rock showed the different layers of sediment that hardened due to intense heat and pressure. Is that similar to how people develop? All our problems and struggles shape and define us into beautiful, strong beings who can overcome trials because we’ve hardened under life’s pressures.

  “Have you ever thought about it? Sacrificing yourself?” I asked. The rock made a soft “thump” as it hit the ground by my feet.

  “I’ve never needed to. I always believed there was a better solution.” Alex inhaled deeply. “Even that night, I believed we could get Hayden out. Once the battle started, I knew there would be loss of life. There usually is, but I never believed that what Sarah did was the only option. If Sarah had been honest with us, we would have thought of another plan. We would have had time to alter the outcome. She robbed Nick and me of the opportunity to change the outcome that night. We may have been able to prevent the loss of life. She robbed all of us with her dishonesty.”

  “Were you mad at her?”

  Alex’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “Not at the time.” He slowly shook his head. “Hurt, torn apart, devastated. But as I grieved, as the days ticked by, my pain turned to anger. I couldn’t understand how she could do that without letting me know. How could she make that decision without me? We were a team, and it wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. There was no excuse for not including me in that choice.”

  I nodded and sniffled as I fought back the tears. I’d seen the battle in my dream. I’d seen the gory death and Alex’s pain. My nightmare was their reality. “I’m sorry that you lived through that. I’m sorry I saw it.”

  “You saw it for a reason.”

  My stomach clenched. I did witness that horrific event for a reason. I just wasn’t ready to face the reason yet. “Do you know why she did it? Why Sarah sacrificed herself?”

  “Years later, I ran into Netra. It was awkward at first, but then I started asking her for more information. I wanted to know how she convinced Sarah to give up like that, to sacrifice herself.” Alex looked at the ground and shook his head. “Netra told me about two visions that she’d had. In the first vision, when the Reapers attacked Hayden’s village, something went wrong and we were all killed. In the second vision, Sarah sacrificed herself to the Reapers and we were saved, along with most of the villagers. So Netra worked on her potions and powders and found Sarah. She told Sarah about the visions and promised to help Sarah with her powder. So I guess to Sarah, there was no choice. Sacrificing herself to save us was the only alternative.”

  “So the powder was supposed to bring Sarah back to life?”

  Alex chuckled. “Netra hoped but wasn’t sure. When it didn’t work right away, she figured that Sarah would come back in a different way.”

  “You’ve been waiting for Sarah all this time?”

  Alex smiled. “I guess I have. I’m not ready to admit that she’s gone. When there’s a door for hope, you always want to go through it.”

  I nodded, fully understanding what he meant. Isn’t that why people hang on to unrequited love? They hope that someday the love will be returned.

  Alex stared at his hands and breathed slowly. He looked like he needed some time to himself. “I’m gonna head back,” I said. He nodded. The grass tickled my toes as I stood. When I stepped into the warm sand, the tiny grains massaged my feet as I headed towards the water. I looked over my shoulder and called out, “I’ll meet you on the other side?”

  Alex ran his hand through his wet hair. “Sure thing. I’m right behind you.” He continued to lean against the tree.

  I nodded. The water rose up my legs until it was deep enough to dive into. I allowed the coolness to soothe me and savored the goose bumps as a reminder of my humanity. When the goose bumps were replaced with shivers, I turned off the ability to feel the coolness and embraced my Asteri’s privilege of control. The water no longer felt cold, but instead wrapped my body in warmth as I made my way through the underwater paradise.

  Behind some reeds, a shimmer caught my eye. The shimmer moved and some long black vines mingled with the green reeds. Something big swam behind the reeds and stirred up the muck along the lake bottom and twisted the vines about. Whatever it was, I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen it before. I rose above the water, took a deep breath, and submerged myself in order to hunt for this creature.

  The green reeds danced with the movement of the water. I parted some reeds that were closest to me and startled as a small school of fish darted past my face.

  The black vines swayed behind the reeds and teased me closer. I swam to the next clump of vines and brushed away the reeds. Fingers wrapped around my hand and pulled me close. We were face to face. I stared into her green eyes. Her other hand gripped my arm and held me tight. Her nails dug into my skin. “We are one!” she roared as her dark hair splayed freely through the water.

  I screamed and tried to fight her off, but water gushed into my mouth and filled my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. Panic filled my chest. I kicked my legs about wildly. I gagged on water as she registered that I was choking. She shoved me towards the surface. I swam, kicking wildly, until I felt the sun on my face. My legs shook as I struggled to land, and my body heaved as I crawled up the sandy bank.

  I gagged and coughed and finally spewed water onto the bank. My throat burned, and I repeatedly coughed as I tried to fill my lungs with fresh air. She hadn’t followed me ashore. I was alone. Not even Alex was around. Was he still on the island? Did he see her? I didn’t know, and I wasn’t waiting around to find out. I had to get away.

  My footsteps left small indentations on the grass as I cloaked myself and ran through the portal. I raced towards the rock, grabbed my sweatshirt, and slipped my feet into my shoes. I left my backpack; Alex would bring it. I didn’t stop running as I processed what she’d said. There was one place to get answers. I would make him tell me the truth.

  My footsteps echoed as I ran up Nick’s porch steps. I used my powers to unlock the door and un
cloaked myself in Nick’s kitchen. “Nick! Nick!” I yelled as I searched the first floor. Neither Nick nor Justin was around. I ran up the stairs and headed for Nick’s bedroom. I threw open a door and felt my heart clench as I slowly walked into Nick’s room.

  Paintings rested on easels and sketch pads lay about continuously displaying the same face. Another face I’d seen repeatedly from my dreams stared back at me: fair skin, pale blue eyes, and long red hair… Hayden. This was the face of the girl Nick was drawing the first time we talked in English class. I’d forgotten about that day, but it all came rushing back. Even that day I knew she was significant to Nick. Only now I realized that she haunts him like Sarah haunts Alex, like Sarah haunts me. But where is Hayden now? What happened to her?

  Sketch pads lay in organized piles on Nick’s desk. I scattered them, shoving them about in my haste and frantic pursuit of information. How long had Nick been drawing her image? How long had she haunted him? I pulled open a desk drawer and found pastels and pencils. Their points were soft and worn from drawing. I closed that drawer with a loud thud and pulled open the next drawer. My heart stopped beating for a second as my fingers rested on the old papers. The memory of the day at Sheldon Manor flooded back to me. Nick had known all along what he was looking for as he fiddled with the mantle above the fireplace. He knew there was a secret safe and he found it. He must have gone back to retrieve the contents while the rest of us slept.

  I lifted the old papers and on top was a picture. I inhaled deeply as I recognized the beautiful woman with her dark hair piled on her head and a pearl necklace highlighting her olive skin. Although I saw her picture that day in Asheville, I didn’t recognize her when I met her in Cary. Why would I? I’d only seen her photograph once, and she’d been dressed so differently, from a different time period. When we left the manor, I never gave the woman in the photograph another thought. But looking at that photograph, there was no denying that it was Zoe wearing that elaborate dress and her pearl necklace. With her hair up, she looked so different than she looks now. The Zoe in the picture looked regal. The Zoe I know is a modern woman from the twenty-first century.

  I flipped to the next image. Hayden’s pale blue eyes stared up at me. Nick must have painted this and rescued it from the safe. I flipped it over and stared at the faded date scrawled on the back. We’d talked about it at the time, discussing whether it said 1861 or 1867. Nick had never let on that he knew either of these ladies, but he had mentioned that the War destroyed a lot of people. Was that what happened to Hayden? Had she died somehow during the Civil War? Was that even possible for an Asteri to get caught up in a human war and get killed?

  Nausea twisted in my stomach. This was too much. How could I process all of this? Nick was still obsessed with Hayden. Is that how Asteri love is? Forever? Alex is still in love with Sarah. When he looks at me, is he only seeing Sarah? Am I irrelevant? Am I just a host body for Sarah’s return? And how is that even possible? What did she mean by, “We are one”? That didn’t make any sense.

  I flipped to the next paper, a letter. We didn’t read this letter that day. It didn’t seem right to read someone else’s letter. It was too personal, but now, now I had to. I had to know what the letter said. Nick rescued it from the safe for a reason.

  My hands trembled as I opened the letter and recognized Zoe’s penmanship gracing the sheet. I stepped backwards until my legs hit Nick’s bed and I sank onto the mattress. I pulled my feet up onto the bed and began to read.

  Dear Nikolas,

  I trust you are doing well. I enjoyed seeing you at the ball. It was a pleasure to dance with you. You always make me laugh.

  Just yesterday I was walking through the garden, delighting in the fragrance and colors of spring. I stopped and sat on a bench beside the tulips and thought of Hayden. She always loved the tulips. They are blooming now. I know that if she were here with me, we’d collect several bouquets to decorate the house. It seems there is always an endless supply of flowers here in the springtime.

  But talking of flowers is not why I write you. My heart bleeds as I watch our dear friend, Alexander, suffer through his loss. He continues to mourn as if he shall perish if his heart ceases to break for a second. I see his brave face, the façade he wears so valiantly, but with each heartbeat, he radiates a pain that is undeniable. I pray daily for the birth of the next female Asteri. Alexander needs to know the truth of Netra’s powers. He must be allowed to mourn and move on. This pain is torturing his soul and must be resolved.

  I know you understand this pain. But imagine how horrible it would be to hold out hope for something that will never happen. I’m sorry to ask this of you, considering your own recent loss. But would you consider visiting him? Could you help him see the necessity of having realistic expectations? Even if Netra was somehow successful, his expectations are so far beyond reality that I fear disappointment and further despair would be the end result. I ask this of you because you have always been his faithful companion. If anyone can get him to be reasonable, I know it is you. Please consider my plea.

  Your forever friend,

  Zoe

  I reread the letter, soaking in the words and the meanings. Alex had been mourning and anticipating Sarah’s return since the day of her death. When he looked at me, he didn’t see me. He saw Sarah. He believed that I would somehow return Sarah to him. And it was obvious, as I looked around the room, that Nick still loved Hayden. She stared at me from every angle of the room. It’s impossible to deny that she haunts Nick’s memory and heart.

  “Kate! Kate!” Nick yelled.

  I shuffled the papers and didn’t know what to do with them. Did I even want to hide the fact that I knew this stuff? Maybe I should just lay it all out there and deal with the problem head on.

  Nick bounded into his room. “What are you doing in here?” He stared at me, looked at the papers I gripped, and stepped closer. “What’s wrong? Why are you here?”

  I eyed the drawings that filled the room. “I needed to talk to you.” I pointed to one of the drawings. “She’s beautiful. You’re a remarkable artist.”

  “Thanks.” His eyes narrowed as he focused on me. “I know it looks a little creepy… all these pictures of the same person.”

  “No,” I mocked. “You should’ve seen my room when I went through my boy band phase.”

  His face relaxed into a smile. “You recognize her?”

  “Hayden.” I nodded my head and continued. “She’s been in a lot of my dreams. You loved her. Clearly you still do.”

  Nick sat on the edge of the bed. He scanned the pictures that filled his room. “She was a part of my life. I draw her for many reasons.” He looked at me as I ping-ponged between the papers in my hands and his eyes. “I guess the main reason is so I won’t forget her. Before I learned to draw, I didn’t take the time to sketch and immortalize my loved ones. Now I realize how important it is, to capture everyone’s essence in their facial expressions. I’ve forgotten the way so many of my loved ones look. My parents and siblings are vague images wandering through my mind. Not being able to properly remember them is just another thing that haunts me.”

  That aspect of this life hadn’t hit me yet — the fact that I would outlive my parents and brother for centuries or perhaps longer. What was my life expectancy? I had pictures of my family, but I hadn’t thought about gathering a collection for when they were no longer around. What seventeen-year-old does? I held up the drawing Nick had collected from Sheldon Manor. “What happened to Hayden?”

  Nick took the drawing and ran his finger over Hayden’s image. “She died during the Civil War. We were in Charleston. We were there to help a new Asteri, a Michael Bradford. We’d noticed his glow and went to him, but as you know, we weren’t the only ones who were aware of his transition. Scouts were flooding into Charleston, hunting for him. Hayden fought and killed a Nephilim named Axilian. She saved Michael, but this caused a domino effect for us because Axilian was a favorite among his men. He had loyal followers an
d a powerful friend named Kahan.” Nick walked over to the nightstand and lifted a small box from inside the drawer. He removed the lid and dangled a Celtic cross from his fingers.

  “That’s her amulet,” I said. I already understood the significance of the charm. He placed the cross in my palm. A beautiful multi-colored stone sparkled at the intersection of the crossbeams. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s all I have left of her.” He scanned the room. “And my drawings.”

  “Hmm.” Had her death been as traumatic for him as Sarah’s was for Alex? Was he reliving her gory death in his head each time he closed his eyes? Perhaps the drawings were a way to heal his soul and to show his love for her. I wiped at the tears that puddled along the rims of my eyes. “Did you see it happen?”

  “No.” He shook his head and cradled the cross in his palm. “She went to meet someone, to arrange passage out of Charleston for some human friends, but she was double-crossed.” Nick’s face twisted in pain at the memory. “When I realized that she was double-crossed, I went to help her, but it was too late. All I found was her cross.” He turned his back to me as he placed the cross back in the drawer.

  “So you don’t know for sure what happened to her.”

  “Kate, she’s not out there waiting to be rescued. I have looked for her. I’ve never seen a hint of her scintillating glow. She’s been extinguished. She’s gone.”

  I chewed on my lower lip as I thought about all of this — watching Nick suffer, knowing Alex suffered and still hoped, and wanting answers to my own questions.

  “Why are you here? What did you need my help with?” His voice was calm, and he seemed in control of his emotions. Had he compartmentalized Hayden’s death and tucked her away with the cross in the box, or was he just better at hiding his emotions?