Benched

by Charles, Colleen

  “That’s okay, Adam,” the doc repeated. “All of this has to be really hard on you. You have a right to be angry. You might even need to go through the five stages of grief in order to grieve the loss of your professional hockey career.”

  “Yeah, stage two right in front of you,” I mused. “I’m really fucking pissed.”

  Doctor Jansen made a throat-clearing noise. “And now straighten your leg for me, please.”

  I did as I was told. There wasn’t pain in the knee anymore, but I’d given up on playing again. Julia’s words rang in my memory, and the hope they’d brought hadn’t been entirely welcome. I’d felt hopeless for so long. But then she’d gone and acted like I could do it, and that she believed in me. Like clawing my way back was some foregone conclusion. And she’d filled my sails with wind.

  Julia.

  Only her.

  “That’s interesting,” Jansen said and straightened. “Very interesting.”

  “What is?”

  “I expected to find your knee in worse condition than prior to the accident, but that’s not the case. You seem to have gained a little more mobility than when I examined you in the hospital.”

  My heart sped up, pumping Julia’s white, hot hope through my veins and arteries. Damn if that woman hadn’t jumped right inside my body and I never wanted to evict her. “What do you mean?”

  “We’ll have to talk to an orthopedic specialist,” Jansen said, pausing to place the silver reflex mallet on a dark wood table beside the bed.

  “A specialist?” I demanded, not enjoying the prospect of flying to Minneapolis. “You’re killing me here, Doc. What are you trying to say?”

  “That there’s a slim possibility you might be able to get back on the ice.” Jansen held up his hands. “A possibility. But it would involve a delicate surgery. Right now, it’s only being done at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York. They’ve cornered the market on getting professional athletes back to the game. Let me make a call to Dr. Wells. He’s heading up the program.”

  “You’re shitting me.” I sat perfectly still with my mouth hanging open, because I hadn’t heard any of the words after “possibility.”

  “Nope, I’m definitely not.” Jansen patted me on the shoulder, then turned for the door. “I’ll contact you once I hear back from HSS. We can discuss your options then. I’ll give them an update on your condition and they’ll squeeze you in.”

  “Thank you,” I said after a second, remembering my manners as the feeling started to seep back in to my body. Before, I’d just felt numb.

  Dr. Jansen paused in the doorway and looked back at me. “Take care of that knee, Adam. Second chances aren’t usually followed by a third.” And then he was out the door, leaving me alone in the examination room again.

  I felt like a monkey on an electric fence during a thunderstorm. Charged. I wanted to jump around and air pump until my biceps ached. Instead, I slipped off the bed, put my loafers back on, and left.

  There was one person I wanted to talk to about this, if she’d even speak to me after my piss poor behavior the other day. Julia would understand how important this was to me. I’d been given a reprieve. A sliver of hope. Something to hang on to with both hands. She’d be overjoyed. Maybe she’d even jiggle like she had the day at my house when she’d done my pogo stick imitation. That sure as hell was how I felt right at this moment. Like jumping up and down.

  “Control yourself, you degenerate,” I whispered.

  I brought out my cell and dialed her number, letting it ring in my hand, staring at her name on my screen, but she didn’t pick up.

  “Shit,” I murmured, dejected. What if she was avoiding me? Didn’t want to talk to me anymore? Not that I’d blame her. I’d all but rejected her in her time of need. Fat lot of support I’d been. Piece of shit. Why hadn’t I just blown off her question the other night, and stayed there when she’d needed my company? Man, I could be such a selfish dickhead sometimes. But Julia inspired me to become something better.

  I walked into the parking lot, squinting when I hit the pavement. The sun shone a hazy ball of yellow overhead hanging in a cloudless azure sky. An icy breeze whipped at my coat and I fastened it with one hand, still holding the phone in my other.

  Three sharp rings and the cell vibrated.

  The glare on the screen from the bright sun prevented me from reading the name. “This is Adam.”

  “Hey,” Julia said, her voice as smooth as melted butter on a stack of syrupy pancakes. “Sorry I missed your call. I was kind of in the middle of something.”

  “I’ve got good news,” I said without preamble. “But you know what, I need to make it up to you for being such an ass the other night. Let me take you out. Tell you in person. I want to see your face when you find out.” Because I know you won’t let me down.

  Julia gave a soft gasp. “Sounds like good news for a change by the sound of your voice. So going out? Like a date?”

  I hesitated, alarmed by the tightening of my abs, the tension which twined through my limbs at the whisper of that breath. She had an effect on me I couldn’t fathom. Had never felt. It was gold. Precious. Everything Heather wasn’t.

  And it was honest. Julia Wales was a good person with an even better soul.

  “Yeah, you bet your ass it’s a date,” I said, willingly taking the leap. Just saying the words and sending them out into the Universe made me tingle. And I wasn’t the tingling kind of guy. Saying it out loud, voicing my intentions – well, that felt incredible. Even better than I’d just felt inside the examination room with Dr. Jansen. This could go somewhere. Become something great.

  “Okay, that’s great,” Julia squeaked, then cleared her throat. “I mean, that’s great. What time?”

  “Pick you up at eight, gorgeous. And wear something nice.”

  And sexy. Something that showcases your incredible breasts and your even better ass and hugs your curves in all the right places. Something soft and silky that I can run my fingers over and peel off you as I worship your body with my lips and tongue.

  I hung up before I could put a voice to that particular fantasy. She was truly gorgeous and drove me to distraction. I might let it slip that I couldn’t stop thinking about her and it was too soon for that midnight confession. I slapped myself in a little “down boy” motion, since I needed to stop acting like a caveman around her. Julia was still fragile after the last few days.

  Hell, it was technically too soon for anything, but I couldn’t help myself when it came to her. Kryptonite, maybe? Every man had his own special version of the radioactive element. Julia Wales had just become mine.

  Whistling a happy tune, I bounced up to my rental. Tonight would be what I made it: a calm evening with Julia. Nothing too serious. We’d both been burned recently and I wanted to take it slow. Yeah, right, if I took it any slower I’d be snailing it backwards. I wanted to protect myself from another deep emotional wound, but more than that, I wanted to protect Julia. She deserved better than another scumbag who couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

  I stopped beside my car and brought out the keys. A noise caught my attention, the flicker of movement in my peripheral vision making me turn my head.

  Talk about a scumbag. It was like I’d just conjured one to life with just my thoughts.

  Carter Jenkins stood nearby, his back leaning against the side of the brick building, talking to what looked to be a nurse. I could see his breath escaping his vile mouth in a cloud of mist on the cold air. The woman wore a harried expression, her grey-green eyes darting from side-to-side, probably searching for an escape.

  Looked like Senor Skank was at it again.

  “Hey asshole,” I said, tucking the keys into my fist and charging across the lot. My boots slammed into the tar, sending vibrations up my legs. Jarring slams which shuddered through my muscles.

  Carter frowned and looked up, his eyes widening at the sight of an angry man bearing down on him, and he touched the bruised and split skin on his face,
just below the right eye.

  That’s right, fuckwad. It’s about to happen to you again.

  The nurse hurried off, back to the hospital, relief pouring out of her too-tight uniform.

  “What the hell do you want?” Carter growled. “You’re lucky I don’t fucking sue you for what you did to me. You think just because you’re some hotshot hockey player you’re invincible? Well, I got news for you, gimp. My dad has just as much fucking money as you do. Probably more. We’re talking to lawyers as we speak.”

  “I don’t give a shit about your money. You can buy off all the judges in Duluth but there were so many witnesses that night that you can’t buy them all. Besides, unlike you, people in this town love me. They’ll rally around me because I’m a local fucking hero and I always have been. I’ll tell you what I want,” I said, finally reaching the piece of shit and fisting his Polo shirt below the collar. I lifted Carter off the scarred tarmac, a sneer peeling my lips back.

  “Let go of me, you arrogant prick,” he yelled, his teeth clomping in his head. The words came out in a staccato chirping sound.

  “You put up that billboard, didn’t you?” I demanded with another violent shake. “Admit it and I won’t rearrange your pretty face for the second time in a week.”

  “I didn’t do shit,” Carter said, clamping his eyes shut like he wanted to piss his chinos, when just seconds ago he’d been enticing me to lawyer up with his empty threats.

  I brought his face closer, knuckles creaking I had my fists clenched so tight. I pressed my nose against Carter’s. “You come near her again, you do anything I don’t like and I’ll –” but I couldn’t complete the sentence.

  What could I do, really?

  If I hurt Carter, that’d travel back to the media and I’d end up in deeper shit than after the accident. It was a miracle that there hadn’t been a bigger fallout from our one-sided fist fight the other night.

  Why hadn’t Carter sued me?

  “You’re up to something,” I said, dropping the creep again. I wouldn’t let him have the last word, so I raised a finger and jabbed Carter in the chest, watching the man’s reactions, the short breaths, and massive pupils.

  “Fuck you,” Carter stammered. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with.” He put up a shaky smile with his precious veneers. The exact ones I itched to shatter with my already cut knuckles.

  “I know exactly who I’m dealing with, you stupid prick. A rapist,” I said. “You’re a bully and a coward, and I’m going to bring you to your knees because of it.”

  “Big words from a drunk who can’t keep a woman,” Carter sneered. “Unless he drugs her.”

  I pulled my fist back to strike and Carter lifted his arms to shield his face. Typical coward. Wouldn’t fight back though his arms were free. Drugging a woman so she was defenseless, out of my mind and body. Worthless piece of dog shit. He wasn’t even worthy of being stuck to the bottom of a shoe.

  “That’s your M.O., fuckwad,” I growled and dropped my fist. “But I’ve got my eye on you, Jenkins, don’t you forget that.”

  I stalked back to my car, spinning the keys loose from my fist, jangling them in the stiff breeze. I’d cooled off a little by the time I reached it, and when I looked back, Carter Jenkins was nowhere to be seen.

  Chapter 16

  Julia

  I could barely breathe. I stood in my soft cotton robe, which was untied at the front, and stared at my naked body in the full length mirror against the pale blue wall in my bedroom. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to look. Adam Spencer’s women had included Heather McNeal and a couple of others during a brief split they’d had in college. All svelte, blonde bombshells, every one of them. The antithesis of me which caused nausea to bubble up. How could I ever measure up? Even if I starved off thirty pounds, I’d never have that reedy body type.

  I dropped the robe slowly, revealing pale shoulders, the full breasts, the curve of my hips, and stomach, shapely legs and my too-wide feet – at least they were in my opinion.

  “You can do this,” I said, meeting my gaze. “It’s a date, that’s all, just a date.”

  With the man you’ve wanted since you first saw his full lips touch the ice of your home pond.

  God, I’d wanted this from the start; time alone with the star. The guy I remembered as my big brother’s gorgeous friend. A high school infatuation that’d somehow translated into an adult crush. The first boy I’d pictured at the end of the aisle in my church. The first one I’d pictured as I’d pleasured myself under the sheets in high school, even when he’d belonged to someone else. No more. I wanted him to belong to me. I wanted him to want to belong to me. Only me.

  Heaving a big sigh, I chided myself as I snapped my robe shut. I wasn’t pathetic; I was romantic.

  I ran my hand through my long bronze hair and tossed it back. Sue Ann had sent another specialty from the boutique. A tight, rose colored mini-dress with a white lace applique, and no straps. I’d always been told I had gorgeous skin and I’d show that off tonight. My hair and skin were my best physical features.

  I lifted the silky confection from the bed and slipped it on, the fabric brushing against my skin. I paired it with a pair of strappy, rhinestone encrusted sandals. Probably not a good idea to wear a dress with bare legs in winter, but it wasn’t below zero yet so I could suck it up. I’d grab my almost floor-length, wool coat from the rack before I left. That would keep most of my delicate skin protected.

  My makeup was already done, a lighter smoky eye, a hint of pink on the lips, and my hair would have to stay down. I’d seen the looks Adam had given my hair when it was loose, swishing below my waist. So he was a hair man, and I guessed I did have some thick, long hair in common with the perfect Heather.

  I shuddered in excited anticipation. Not just for the man, but the fact that he’d chosen me to share his news with. What was this fantastic information Adam had to share? This was a celebration and I shut my eyes and prayed it had to do with his career, but I’d take any good news right now.

  The last week had been a total crap festival.

  I heard a low rumble outside, the slam of a car door and then the doorbell trilled downstairs. My palms got clammy instantly. He’d arrived. I drew in a shaky breath to calm my racing heart.

  “Just a minute,” I called, even though he couldn’t hear me through the closed up house.

  Checking my reflection a final time, I swept the robe off the floor and dumped it on top of my four poster king-sized bed, then rushed out of the room, breathing through my nose because any other way would make me pass out.

  I hurried through the tiny craftsman and stopped in front of the door, staring at the peephole. After unlatching it and opening it up, I allowed the evening sounds to hustle through into my home. The chirps of crickets, the rustling of wind in the trees, and the gentle drip of water.

  Adam stood on my doorstep holding a single daisy pinched between his thumb and forefinger. “I didn’t know what you’d like,” he said. Was he a little breathless? My gaze travelled from his full lips down to his feet and back up again.

  The hairs on the backs of my forearms stood on end from my appraisal of his searing hotness.

  Damn, this man’s fine.

  I accepted the flower from him, color creeping into my cheeks that had nothing to do with the light blush I’d applied earlier. “Would you like to come in?” I placed the solitary daisy in a crystal vase on my hall table and gave it a little water. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  I’d hang it upside down later to preserve it for longer. Press it into my journal after that. The high school girl inside me was appeased. He’d been so thoughtful in the gesture and a small part of my fantasy had just played out in living color.

  Adam followed me into the kitchen, watching my every move, the sway of my hips – and I put extra sway in them tonight – the swish of my hair. And I watched him. Watching me. Wetness pooled in between my legs and I looked forward to getting outside into the cold. The kiss of
bitter air might be the only thing that could chase the heat from my fevered body. God. This man. What he did to me.

  He cleared his throat, breaking the tension. “Are you ready to go? I thought we could head over to the New Scenic Café. Have you been there?”

  “Not yet, but I’ve heard great things,” I replied, grabbing my cream colored wool coat from the coat rack that went almost to my feet. It would keep my bare legs protected from the cold. Adam helped me and held my hair back so it wouldn’t get caught. I heard him sigh and noticed a whisper of breath on my neck. Gooseflesh spread across my arms under the heavy fabric.

  Adam offered his arm and I took it, sliding the fabric of my coat over his. He wore black, and the collar of his pale blue button down peered from beneath it. I’d never seen a sexier man in the course of my life.

  I couldn’t stop myself from picturing what laid beneath the shirt and had to stop myself. A brief flash of unbuttoning his dress shirt and raking my fingertips across his abs flittered across my brain. I shook my head. Better not to read too much into the situation. Even if the short walk to his rental car did make my knees knock. He opened my door for me and helped me in, then rounded to the driver’s side and slid inside.

  “So they’re letting you drive,” I commented.

  “Harry sorted everything out on the legal side. I don’t know how he does it, but it sure as hell makes my life easier. He’s a magician. Then again, he’s very highly paid.”

  “He’s your magic wand, then, just says abracadabra and waves away the problems,” I said, pairing that with a giggle.

  Adam frowned and started the car. “I’m not that irresponsible. I don’t go around drinking and crashing into –”

  “I know,” I said, grasping his thigh out of instinct, “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry.”

  Adam’s facial expression froze and he looked down at my hand, then to my face. He was unreadable. The heat from his leg warmed my palm, and I snapped my hand back to my chest. God. This was starting out so badly. I always seemed to say the wrong thing and upset him. I’d just keep my big mouth shut the rest of the evening. Unless it was to say yes, no, please and thank you.