by Pepper Pace
I already knew that there was no way that she was going to take this lying down. She was going to be all in my face over this. Thing is, there was one side of me that resented the fact that she wouldn’t just do the job, while there was the other side that was proud of her for having principals that she stood up for. Still, it was easy to have standards when your boyfriend was your buffer. But I had to make the same decision that I’m going to have to challenge Nikki to make; whether to let her standards pay her bills or her job.
My phone rang and I pulled my thoughts back to the present with an unpleasant jolt. I didn’t want to talk to Nikki but I wasn’t much more relieved to see that it wasn’t Nikki calling but my Mom. Argh. I couldn’t do this now. I returned the phone to my pocket unanswered. Sighing I came to my feet. “Come on. Let’s go home, Wu.”
Nikki
I never thought that I’d be that woman; the one that didn’t know who the father of her unborn baby is. I didn’t sleep a wink last night. Tony didn’t come back to the apartment or call. The phone did ring several times but it was Mrs. Y. Every time I heard it, I’d start bawling all over again. I’m not the crying type and I know that being pregnant floods you with lots of hormones—so it’s not just that my heart is breaking.
I considered calling in sick but I was anxious to see Tony. He’d have to say something to me. He might disappear for a time after work hours, but not during work.
It was almost noon before I heard from him. My office phone rang and the red light indicator showed that the call was coming from his office. I picked up anxiously, not even aware of how tense I’d been all morning.
“Hello?”
“Nikki. Hey.”
“Hey.”
“How are you?” He asked quietly.
“I…I’m ok.” I lied.
“Look, can you come to the office? I need to talk to you.”
“Oh. Ok, sure.” I was rather surprised that he’d want to have this talk at work. I hung up quickly and straightened my jacket. I had to keep it buttoned to hide the bulge of my tummy. Now that I knew that I was pregnant my extended tummy looked like a pregnant belly and not just a woman that had one too many burritos at lunch. On the up side, at least I wouldn’t have to go on that crash diet that I had been planning.
I rapped on his door once and entered.
“Hey.”
“Come on in. Close the door.” He stood up and I noted the strained look on his face. He hadn’t slept well himself, I guess.
I suddenly wrung my hands. “Tony, look. I’m so sorry. But I didn’t intend for this to happen. You have to know that this is throwing me for a loop just as much as it is you-”
He held up his hand to stop me. “Nikki, I didn’t ask you to come for that. I wanted to talk to you about something else.”
“Something else?” I frowned. What else was there?
“Please, sit down.” He gestured to the leather chair in front of his desk that he’d purchased from Ikea. It showed just how much he appreciated nice things that he would spend his own money to furnish the office in a way that was comfortable for him. Despite his connection with all things African-American, his office reflected his Asian heritage. He had two very large and very expensive bonsai trees. He had a large silk screen wall covering of Koi fish and lilies in a pond. He had a beautiful tea set that I knew he actually used, especially when he had a rough day. He would drink tea from leaves that he actually hand mixed. Tony was a man that had so much diversity that being with him was like being on a journey—one that you would be a fool to turn down.
I sat down. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“The Dura account.”
“What?” Of all of the things that I could imagine coming from his mouth—that wasn’t one of them.
“Mrs. Dura filed a complaint for being denied the loan. There’s a report made against the company with the Better Business Bureau because the loan officer had already told her that the deal would go through.”
I was in complete shock. My mouth was hanging open. “Well the loan officer should have never done that!” This wasn’t the first time that a client had to have the rug pulled out from under their feet because some idiot had jumped the gun!
He shrugged. “It’s not against company rule to tell a client that their loan should have no trouble. It wasn’t the loan officer that had done anything wrong, it was us.”
“Us?!”
“Yes. We did. We make loans and we use homes as collateral. That’s our job.”
“Oh, not this again-”
He held up his hand once more. “Wait, let me finish. Please.” I nodded, with a sigh. “Not to beat a dead horse. I understand your position. I’ve even shared it. The point is, we have a directive. And based on that, we should have passed the account to be approved.”
“But-”
“Nikki!” He said sharply. “I’m not done. Please. Let me finish.” My brow gathered at his tone but I kept quiet. “I’m not going to argue with you. You and I as a couple can debate, but me as your supervisor…there is no room for that. This is the job you have. If you don’t do it, then it will be reflected on your evaluation.”
My heart slammed against my ribcage. “My…evaluation?” I could not believe that he was sitting there so calmly threatening my job. How did we get here? Oh yeah…the fact that I might be having another man’s baby is how we got here. Is that what this was about for him?
He put on glasses and opened a file that had my name on it. “Consider this your official counseling session. So after this, if you don’t follow protocol then it will be reflective on your critical job elements which would then lower your evaluation.” He retrieved a form and passed it to me. “Sign this stating that we have discussed your expectations.”
I couldn’t believe this; his attitude, his detachedness. I was more confused and hurt than angry. I slid the form to me and looked at it closely. Then I picked up the ink pen and signed and dated it. I passed the form back to him without saying another word.
He nodded. “I don’t have anything else.” I walked out the door without another look at him and he watched me wordlessly. I went straight to the restroom and got very ill.
TONY
That could not have gone worse. All I had wanted to do is to avoid a long drawn out debate, but instead I came off looking like I was trying to punish her. Okay, and the truth of the matter is…I had wanted to punish her. I don’t know why, I mean, I’m sure she wanted to be in a position of not knowing whose baby she was carrying just as much as I did. Damn, I needed to apologize. I got up and hurried out of my office but Debbie stopped me before I had even gotten two steps.
“Tony, Richard wants you to take this to Mrs. Dura before five o’clock.” She handed me an envelope and I opened it. It was her check. I grimaced. So I was to give her a personal
apology. Fine. I hurried down the corridor to Nikki’s office and was stopped again by one of my employees.
“Tony, can you sign off on this? I promised Mrs. Torrence that I would get her check in the mail today.”
I looked down the hall and then back to my employee. “Oh…sure.” I said reluctantly, following her into her office. She made small talk and I tried to not show how anxious I was to leave, but as soon as I had it signed off I hurried to Nikki’s office. But she wasn’t there. She had already left for lunch. I thought about calling her and then I stopped. I just stopped right in my tracks.
No. I wasn’t going to apologize. Why should I? She didn’t apologize for having unprotected sex with some guy she’d just met. I stormed back into my office and slammed the door shut.
Much later, the office phone was ringing and I blinked. I had just been sitting, staring off into space for the last fifteen minutes. Damn, I needed to get my head straight. I picked up.
“Hello?”
“Toi?” Shit; it was Mom.
“Why you not call? I thought you call after doctor visit? You lose cell phone?”
“Ah…no. I�
�m sorry, Mom, things just got a little crazy.”
“Crazy? What wrong, Toi?”
“Nothing.”
“Son. What is wrong? Talk to me?”
I cleared my voice. Why is it that talking to your mother makes you want to instantly start bawling and to climb up into her lap like you are just two years old again? But I didn’t start bawling, I swallowed back everything that I was feeling.
“We had the ultrasound and got to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”
“Ah.” She said happily.
“And the technician told us that the baby was sixteen weeks developed. Problem is, Mom…Nikki and I have only been together thirteen and a half weeks.”
There was a long quiet. “I see. Where is Nikki?”
I shrugged. “At lunch I guess.” Or maybe back in her office or home. I didn’t know and found that I didn’t care.
“And where are you?”
I sighed and looked out the window. “In my office.” She called here, right? But I knew where she was going with this.
“Ganbatte. Why are you not with her?”
“Mom…I just need space. I need to think.”
“Nikki is scared and hurting, too. You need to be with her.”
“Mom…”
“Toi, listen to me. Nikki is the same woman that you loved a week ago. She is going through this same process with you, finding out that she is pregnant, making plans for the future with you, and then finding out this news, too. She didn’t do this on purpose. This is before you. This is Nikki and if you love her then you love everything about her…including her baby.” I felt tears sting my eyes.
“I don’t know if…if I want to do that, Mom.” It hurt to say it, but it was the truth.
“Then…you never really loved her.” Her voice was suddenly chilly…and strangely there was not a bit of a Japanese accent to it. “Just be man enough to tell her that it’s over.” My heart caved at the idea of that.
“I don’t want that either.”
“Go to her and tell her you love her.”
“Yeah.” Tears dripped from my eyes. “Yeah.”
NIKKI
Lunch for me was a walk outside to clear my head. I was wearing a pair of Loubitin pumps, so not the smartest thing to do. I didn’t want to cry and for everyone at the office to have the telltale signs of my tears because I had raccoon eyes. So instead of focusing on what hurt, I focused on what made me so angry.
Like how Tony was a jackass. One kind word, one show of support would have meant the world to me. Even if he had continued with the whole needing to think and needing space, at least I wouldn’t be sitting here in this
turmoil wondering what he is feeling, at least I would know that he…
Did he still love me?
Even having to wonder that almost took the breath out of me and I stopped walking for a moment. I couldn’t even imagine my life without Tony in it. I placed my hand on my belly. My baby was in there. Mine. Regardless of Tony or Dean. And yeah, I would get through this no matter the outcome because I had this wondrous little one to consider.
I went back to the office, a little less anxious, but still stinging from my meeting with Tony. So imagine my surprise when I saw Tony sitting there waiting for me. I closed the door slowly and decided not to speak. Sometimes it was a time to speak and sometimes there was a time to listen.
He stood up quickly. He looked like hell, just in the short span of time since I’d last seen him.
“Nikki…I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry that I haven’t been around. I’m sorry for counseling you about Dura. I’m sorry.” He watched me with an open expression. “I know that I was being a jerk.” He hurried to me and took my
hand. “I love you. I love all of you; your passion, your anger. I love your baby. Regardless…” He stared deeply into my eyes. “Regardless of whether it’s my child or not, I love this baby because it’s you.”
My arms went around him so fast that I think that he flinched wondering if I was going to haul off and hit him. But no, I hugged him like he was my lifeline. I felt him sigh as his arms went around me.
“I didn’t want you to apologize.” I said, my voice trembling so I guess I was crying again. “I just wanted to know that you were still with me. I’m the one that’s sorry! I have you in this situation and…I’m so sorry-”
He pulled back, arms still around me. “I don’t care. That was before US.”
“You…you love the baby?”
He smiled. And it was genuine. “Does it really matter if my blood runs through this baby’s body? I’m still going to be this baby’s father. He or she is still going to be baby Yakamoto because I still intend to marry his mother.”
My knees trembled and hot and cold waves went through me. He’d proposed! It wasn’t a
‘will you marry me?’ But there was no need to even ask that question because I would! Will! I’m going to marry Toi Yakamoto! I hugged him again and this time he picked me up and swung me into a slow circle before re-depositing me lightly onto my feet.
“We’re going to have to tell people-” I began but he placed his lips onto mine and kissed me. My body turned to liquid. Afterwards he looked at me. What had I been saying?
“I have to run an errand. I have to go to Isadore Durdak’s home and give her the re-fi check directly. Afterwards, I’m going to need to spend a relaxing evening in the arms of my woman. Do you think we can make that happen?”
I nodded solemnly. “You…you have to apologize to her?”
“I need to grovel a bit. But this is a good day for it. At least I got practice.” He tried to smile but it fell way short.
“Can I go with you?” He gave me a surprised look.
“But-”
“Please?”
His expression cleared. “Of course. If you want. I suppose we should head out now.” He went back to his office to let his secretary know where he was going and to lock up. I made a quick phone call to underwriting to let them know about an error on closing papers for another client and then we drove off together leaving my car behind.
He closed his hands over mine. “I’m not sure why you want to do this, Nikki.”
“Because you have to if I don’t.” He gave me a quick look and then I felt him briefly squeeze my hand.
We were at Mrs. Durdak’s house within minutes and I was appalled at what I saw. The house was in such disrepair that I was ashamed for her. Hopefully she would use some of the money for home repairs because the neighborhood was rather affluent and the normal upkeep was impeccable. Didn’t she have family? I didn’t expect her to climb a ladder and fix the fallen shingle or paint the rickety front porch, but someone in her family should have taken the initiative.
With a grim expression on my face Tony and I went to the front door and rang the bell. It was probably not functioning so Tony knocked.
For seventy-two, Mrs. Dura sure moved well. She was at the door in a flash of colorful cloth. She was wearing a casual yet expensive burnt orange and brown pants suit. It made the older woman look about ten years younger than her age; which she was proud to tell you.
She gave Tony an up and down look and when she saw me she actually snorted. Tony and I exchanged looks.
“Mrs. Dura. I’m Toi Yakamoto. I wanted to come by and bring you the refinance check personally-”
“I know who you are. Come in then.” She held the door wide for us to enter. I was blown away. The shambles on the outside did not match the inside. This house was magnificent; a bit austere for my tastes, it still was well maintained and richly decorated.
“You have a lovely home.” I said honestly.
“Thank you. I like nice things.” She had an uncharacteristally haughty look about her. Well she was obviously pissed about being denied in the first place.
Tony was staring at a curio cabinet. “Your collection of Lladro is beautiful.”
Her severe expression began to loosen. “Thank you. I’ve been a collector for decades.” Tony’s feet mo
ved to the cabinet and Mrs. Dura joined him. “Ahh, you like the Asian one. That is springtime in Japan.”
“It’s beautiful. I have the Hina dolls.”
“Both of them?” Mrs. Durdak’s brow went up.
“Yes, both the Emperor and the Empress.”
“I’m impressed. Not many men collect Lladro.”
“I’m not a true collector. I just see pieces that I like.”
“I have a bronzed figural Geisha lamp circa 1870. It doesn’t match anything in my house but it’s beautiful.”