by Jillian Hart
“I saw one! I saw antlers and everything!” Julianna’s pigtails bobbed as she bounced in the saddle. “Cheyenne, look! He’s over there.”
“Oh, I see. He’s watching us from behind that old stump. He’s handsome.” Cheyenne swayed in her saddle, straining to get a good look.
Curious, he leaned to one side, gripping the saddle horn with all his strength, and peered between two pines into the dappled shadows. A regal elk, larger than a deer and as soft as brown velvet, watched them with wary eyes. Four-pronged antlers crowned his head.
Amazement washed through him. What surprised him most was the wonder he felt. He hadn’t known he was capable of wonder anymore but it filled his chest with warmth, like a sunrise of his soul.
The wind puffed warmly across his face, rustling his hair, as if to remind him of the surrounding beauty. In life, he’d always kept his nose to the grindstone, working hard, doing what had to be done, focusing on his responsibilities. He wasn’t so good at looking up. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken a moment to enjoy the lazy warmth of summer sunshine. He breathed in the forest-scented wind and took a moment to listen to the music of the breeze through the trees, the pleasant rhythmic clomp of horse hooves on the earth and study the lay of the wild countryside that ranged from forest to lowland meadows. At the edge of his vision, Cheyenne swept off her hat and let the wind and sun spill over her.
Not going to notice, he told himself. His guard had lowered a bit, his defenses felt weakened and he knew she was to blame. She was the reason his lungs couldn’t properly fill with air.
The moment passed, a curve in the trail took them out of sight of the elk, and he did his best not to notice the sheer drop-off on Cheyenne’s side of the trail. He worried about his girls but the horses seemed sure-footed and calm, plodding along well away from the rocky edge. Still, he couldn’t relax. That probably had more to do with the woman than the cliff.
“Do you think you will ever marry again?” Cheyenne’s quiet question startled him.
“Marry?” He felt like one of the birds who spotted them and took off in a panicked flight.
“Don’t worry. It wasn’t a hint. I wasn’t fishing.” She plopped her hat back on her head and tossed him an amused smile. “I would rather throw myself down the embankment. Nothing personal. I’m sure you would be a fine catch, but I am not going down that path again. Not if I can help it.”
“I know how you feel.” He should have felt relieved. His pulse rate ought to be kicking back down to normal. Instead, he felt jittery and not only because of her question. “I can’t see myself trusting another woman again.”
“I understand. It took my dad sixteen years.”
“The thing is, my girls need a real mom.” He didn’t know why he was telling her this, he didn’t want to. Perhaps it was the caring gleam in her eyes. She enchanted animals big and small and she was doing the same to him. He was a human and should be able to use his reasoning powers to stop it, but not a single neuron fired. His brain was mush and his shields lowered further and the words rumbled off his tongue. “They need someone to be there when they come home from school. Someone to bake them cookies and take an interest in their ups and their downs. I’m not enough. I want to be, I try to be, but a father isn’t a mother. I can fill in the gaps the best I can, but there’s something elusive and valuable only a loving mother can provide.”
“I think you are doing just fine. When we were young, Dad asked Aunt Opal to move in with us. She filled in the gaps, as you say. Now we have Mrs. G. Maybe you can find a housekeeper.”
“I’ve thought of hiring a nanny type, but I feel my girls need more. I’ve prayed, but no solution has come to me.”
“Maybe it will. You never know what God has in store for you.”
Gazing into her compassionate gaze bluer than the Wyoming sky, he could feel the vulnerable places within him wish. Emotions too strong to measure and too varied to describe roared through him like a hurricane beating down his resolve, laying waste to his defenses. The woman was more than a danger to him. Defenseless, he could not stop the panic overtaking him. Being vulnerable to another woman on any level was too terrifying to risk. Even if it was only friendship.
His throat tightened in a spasm, nearly cutting off his ability to breathe. He knew Cheyenne meant well, she was only being nice and had taken a risk in being honest with him. He wished he could explain why he pressed his heels to the horse’s sides and prayed the animal responded appropriately instead of bucking him off. He would rather hit the ground and roll down that endless embankment than to feel the wasteland his heart had become. The loneliness within him was too great and his shattered hopes too broken to look at in the light of day.
The horse leaped smoothly ahead, leaving Cheyenne behind in a cloud of fine dust.
“Daddy!” Julianna preened up at him, pleased he had come to ride beside her. Jenny did the same. They were his world and he relaxed as they chattered away, including him in their conversation.
He was aware of Cheyenne’s puzzled silence behind him and the weight of her gaze on his back. A weight that remained all the way up the hillside, one he could not shake.
Cady Winslow leaned forward in her saddle as Misty crested the steep slope. She felt on top of the world, and with the way the high foothill peaked, leveling out in a grassy tree-fenced meadow, overlooking the valley below, she could fool herself into thinking she really was. The day wasn’t over yet and already it had been one of the most enjoyable in her life. She was surrounded by friends and family, out in God’s beautiful wilderness. Her Bible verse from her morning’s devotional slipped into her mind.
By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth. This is God’s country, she decided as she let the rock and sway of her mare’s gait lull her into a deep state of bliss. She had watched the golden rays brush at the treetops and burnish the rancher riding beside her. The golden light emphasized the brim of his hat, the handsome angle of his rugged jaw, his dependable, strapping shoulders and his powerful masculinity. Affection brighter than the sun swept through her, blinding her to all else. What was she going to do about her great and endless affection for Frank Granger?
“Looks like even the doctor is having a good time.” Frank leaned in, keeping his baritone low. “I would call this a successful trail ride.”
“Successful? How could it be a failure?”
“You just wait and see. The afternoon isn’t over yet.” Lapis-blue eyes snapped with humor, so incredibly blue and dreamy it could make a sensible woman like her, a woman who always did what was practical, forget to breathe. He patted the holstered rifle tied to his saddle. “I won’t rule out bear, cougar or moose just yet.”
“I hope we don’t have any of that kind of trouble.” She may have left her life in New York over a year ago, but she still hadn’t acclimated completely to rural Wyoming. “Is this really bear country? Should we be worried?”
“If we have trouble, it won’t be my first.” Confident, that was Frank. His understated, capable, laid-back strength appealed to her more every day. There was so much to admire about him, it would take her days to make a complete list. He drew his dark bay gelding to a halt and swung down. “I’ll keep you safe, Cady.”
That man could make her heart stop beating. True romance had always eluded her. A few men had been interested in her over the years when she’d been a Manhattan attorney, but nothing had lasted. She’d never clicked with any man the way she did with Frank.
“Besides, we haven’t seen a bear up here in at least three summers.” His sun-browned, callused hand closed over hers with a firm, commanding grip. Tingles skidded up her arm like little soda pop bubbles and were twice as sweet.
“It was two years, Dad.” Tucker ambled over to take the horses. “Remember when we had a bear cub come after Addy’s piece of huckleberry pie and his mama took offense?”
“Yep, that’s right. That’s why we no longer bring a pi
cnic up here.” Frank’s fingers twined between hers and the bond between them felt like steel, unbreakable and enduring.
Don’t think the L word, Cady, she told herself as she let him help her down from the saddle. It was a cozy feeling knowing he looked out for her, big and strong, her very own Western hero. She hardly noticed her feet were on the ground.
“Cheyenne!” A little girl’s call rose above the rushing sounds of the wind, the drone of a lazy bee and birdsong. “You gotta come see!”
“Julianna is having a good time.” Cady laughed, which was always so easy when she was with Frank. He adjusted his long-legged gait to match hers. She had to force her attention away from him to notice her surroundings. Tucker and Sean were picketing the horses, the Granger girls were clustered together chatting amicably and Adam looked lost, a shadow, dressed in black and standing apart from everyone.
He was out of his element. She had prayed he would find solace spending time with the Grangers, or at least have a little fun. She’d known him since he was a toddler when she’d babysat him. He’d always been serious and introverted. Stacy’s treatment of him had only reinforced those traits. She wished she could do something to help fix his shattered heart.
“I’m glad you talked the doc into coming along.” Frank stopped, keeping them a good distance from the others. Laughter rang and the conversation turned to discussing Mrs. Gunderson’s first horseback ride. The draw of the happy group tugged at her. But as powerful as it was, nothing could compare to the magnetism of Frank’s gaze capturing hers. “You never know when having a doctor around might come in handy.”
“Especially where there are so many bears.” Her quip fizzled as her heart forgot to beat again. His caring was a dream too real to be imagined and yet she could feel the truth of his affection all the way to her soul.
Love had never worked out for her. Every time she had gotten her hopes up, they had been dashed. Something had gone wrong. Either hers or the man’s feelings had changed. Whatever happened she had been left alone and disappointed. That’s why she couldn’t allow herself to leap ahead or to wish for what could be with Frank. If this didn’t work out, she would be so crushed there would be no recovering from it. No man had ever meant as much, not even close.
Just stay in the moment, she told herself as she fell into his gaze. His quiet adoration was enough. She would not dare hope for more.
“I’m glad you came along, too.” His hat brim bumped hers. “I know that inn of yours is busy this weekend.”
“I have a good staff, plus I bribed them by tripling their wage to cover me for the holiday weekend.” As if she would have missed this moment with him. She had spent her whole adult life working while time passed, wishing for a connection like this. Now that she had it, she would savor every moment. Whatever lay ahead, she would always have this second, this minute, this day spent with Frank to remember.
“I’m grateful you don’t mind spending your time with me.” A bashful smile hooked the corners of his lean mouth.
“I don’t mind. Much.” Tenderness threatened to wash through her as sustaining and as beautiful as the light from above, but she held it in check. This was the moment she wanted to remember, just this sweet moment in time, as Frank leaned in, slanted his mouth over hers and kissed her sweetly.
Never had a kiss been more reverent or gentle. Cady curled her fingers into his shirt, glad when his arms circled her waist because the earth tilted and she felt unsteady. His strength kept her balanced and breathless against him. She didn’t want his kiss to end.
“Eek!” Addy’s distant squeal penetrated the misty reaches of her consciousness. “Bees!”
“Bees!” More voices joined in.
“It’s always something.” Frank broke the kiss but his arms continued to hold her tight. Regret crinkled attractively in the corners of his eyes and the shine of affection remained. Such a deep kind of affection. An answering well of caring filled her up and left her unable to speak.
Please, don’t let this end, she prayed, unable to move away from him. Laughter rose above the shrieks and the commotion, men’s voices joined in, for all she knew a horde of angry killer bees were zeroing in on her. Did she care?
Not a bit. What mattered most stood right in front of her, his dreamy blue eyes searching hers. In spite of the chaos, calm filled her.
Just enjoy the moment, she told herself. Every minute spent with Frank was the most precious she had ever known.
Chapter Six
“There’s a finch.” Julianna froze in the dappled shade of the small creek, peering upward toward the languidly rustling leaves.
“Looks like she’s finding an early supper for her chicks.” Cheyenne craned her neck as she balanced at the water’s edge. The cheerful gurgle of the current tumbled over rocks and swished around eddies of earth. Little creatures skiddled above and beneath the surface, dashing away. Tiny fish, katydids, dragonflies. She would point them out to Julianna, but movement out of the corner of her eye stopped her.
Adam. He strode away from the crowd seated in the shade, his walk powerful and his expression dark, or maybe it was simply the effect that he wore nothing but black on this bright, perfect day. The cheerful nod of daisies at his feet and the rustle of Indian paintbrush as he swept by made him seem hewn of shadows and darkness, this man who had abruptly ridden away from her without a word. His walls had gone up, his friendliness had vanished and he hadn’t looked at her again.
She wanted to be angry or insulted or in the very least annoyed, but she wasn’t.
“What kind of footprints are these?” A musical little voice echoed at the far edge of her consciousness. “Cheyenne?”
“Deer.” She shook her head, trying to scatter her thoughts of the man but they stuck like glue. How she managed to arrow her attention to the earthen bank was a total mystery. “See these littler hooves? A mom and her twins came to drink here not long ago.”
“Really? How long ago?” Excited, Julianna dropped down, her pigtails dangling as she studied the tracks cut into the damp dirt. “Maybe they aren’t very far away and we could see them.”
“Maybe, maybe not. It’s hard to know. Although if I were a mama deer, this meadow would be a peaceful place to let my fawns nap. Or it was until we came along.”
“Do you see any other tracks?”
“You tell me.” She rocked back on her heels, aware of Adam as he approached the horses. She didn’t know why her senses were tuned to him. Bewildering.
“These belong to a bird who was hopping around.” Julianna seemed pleased. “Maybe it was a finch like Tomasina. Do you think she can go back to her home soon?”
“It looks that way. When I checked in with Ivy last, she said our little bird was doing well. Eating up a storm and standing up to flap her wings.”
“God must have heard my prayer.” Julianna swiped a flyaway strand of dark hair from her soulful eyes. “My dad says we aren’t supposed to pray for ourselves, because that would be selfish.”
“I do know God doesn’t want us to think only of ourselves. He wants us to put others first.” She couldn’t stop her attention from drifting to the man. Alone, he was searching through Scout’s saddlebags. When he pulled out a small first-aid kit, she realized he must be about to treat Jenny’s bee sting. Maybe Addy’s, too.
“I don’t want to be selfish like my mom.” As if she had put a lot of thought into this, Julianna’s face scrunched up and she rested her chin on her fist. “I have some things I want to ask God for, but my Dad wouldn’t like it.”
“Like what?” The question was out before she could stop it. She could sense Adam striding closer. She didn’t need to glance over her shoulder to picture his progress. Every step he took made her chest cinch a little tighter.
“I want to stay here forever.” Julianna’s words rang as sweet as a prayer. “I don’t want to be selfish like my mom, but I can’t help it. It’s one of the things I want real bad. A new mom is another.”
“Oh, sweet
heart.” The snap of a twig behind her, and the pad of Adam’s gait in the grass told her he was closing in.
“Are you finding any wild beasts?” His tone sounded light, but she could hear the strain behind his words.
He must have overheard his daughter’s confession. Cheyenne ached for him, knowing full well the pain of a fractured family. She wished she could help, but caring and supporting were the best she could do. Also letting him and his girls know they weren’t alone. She squared her shoulders, determined to make a difference.
“We haven’t found anything dangerous yet, but that’s a good thing.” She matched his smile and rose from the side of the rippling stream. “A bear showing up would interrupt our party. It has before.”
“I guess being swarmed by bees is a dull occurrence by comparison.” He shrugged, holding the first-aid kit and a small bottle of calamine lotion. “At least no one was allergic.”
“And only two of us got stung.” She shook her head, scattering her auburn locks. “The view is worth the ride, don’t you think?”
“I haven’t seen anything like it.” He held out his free hand as Julianna stepped over rocks and moss toward him. “Are we still on your land?”
“Yes. We own one of the biggest spreads in the county.” She shrugged, as if the marvel of this place was no big deal. She’d grown up here where the sky was intensely blue and stretched forever above a patchwork of endless fields. He was blown away by those vibrant fields rimmed by craggy, breathtaking mountains that gave you the feeling God had reached down from heaven just to carve them.
“I don’t see another soul out there. Other than the cattle and horses in that field.” Keep the conversation casual, he told himself. His guard might still be mostly up, but he was struggling. The woman was tough on his defenses. Julianna’s confession troubled him and he didn’t want to admit it or, worse, have Cheyenne guess. He turned away abruptly out of self-protection and picked his way from beneath the shady trees and into the sun-swept meadow.