The Secret Orphan

by Glynis Peters

  ‘Hmm. It is not news I want to tell. Not seeing you so happy and wanting more of your delightful company.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘I’m waiting for papers to leave England. I have to return to Canada, and soon.’

  Although Elenor always knew this moment was going to come, she didn’t want to hear it today. She struggled to find words to express her disappointment but felt it wise to say nothing. Her eyes moistened with tears and in such a public place she didn’t want to embarrass herself or Jackson.

  ‘So, this is a farewell feast,’ she said with jest.

  ‘I will write to you if you don’t mind. But don’t look on this as farewell.’

  ‘Everyone I …’ Elenor felt it best to say no more. Her hand trembled as she lifted her cup and the warmth of the café no longer touched her body. A chill of loss overwhelmed her, much like the loss of her aunt.

  ‘Tell me about your home, tell me something about where you live.’

  Elenor needed to direct the conversation away from miserable thoughts.

  ‘Ah, you have babbling brooks, we have raging waters. Crystal waters cascading over boulders, some the size of a motor car. Wide open spaces with pine trees so high they touch the clouds, and the smell they give off reminds us of Christmas trees every day. Totem poles, beautiful carved statues created out of cedar wood by the original inhabitants of the country. Each one has a different meaning for the First Nations, and their colours are vibrant and bright.’

  ‘It sounds incredible,’ Elenor said in awe.

  ‘It is; my family run lumber mills – logs and timber – and I get to hike into the mountains to select the trees for felling. I never fail to fall in love with the mountains. They are vast and look magnificent even when covered in snow. Then we have the red-gold of the leaves of the maple trees when they turn the ground scarlet in the fall.’

  ‘I’ve seen a few images of totem poles in my encyclopedia, but they are black and white. Everything sounds tall and large out there. What’s the fall?’

  ‘You call it autumn. Compared to Britain our countryside is enormous and has the most rugged, beautiful scenery but this country has a lot to offer in its own way, a quaintness. I discover something new each day. I’d be happy living here in England, providing I could visit my homeland each year.’

  ‘You must write to me more about your town, village and city. I need to fill my scrapbook. It all sounds so wonderful,’ Elenor said.

  Jackson gave her a grin.

  ‘I’ll send anything I think you will enjoy.’

  ‘Do you know when you will ever return to England?’ Elenor said, her voice barely a whisper.

  ‘I’ll come back one day, Elenor.’

  ‘Come and say goodbye to Rose, but please, she is fragile. It isn’t easy for her in the house. I’ve had a spring-cleaning frenzy and tried to cheer us up with colour to fight off the gloom.’

  ‘I’ll do my best.’

  On the walk home Jackson did the talking and Elenor listened in silence with a heavy heart.

  Inside the house Jackson commented and complimented on the alterations. Rose played tour guide and Elenor followed behind, absorbing every movement Jackson made. She stored memories to remind her of a man she’d fallen in love with but who would walk away never knowing the depth of her feelings.

  ‘Rose, Jackson has come to say goodbye to us. He has promised to write but it will be a very long time before we see him again.’

  Rose looked at Jackson and then at Elenor.

  ‘Are you not going to be friends with her anymore?’

  ‘I will always be her friend – and yours. My job is important so I have to go. Besides, my mom wants to see me again.’

  ‘Can I give you a hug for good luck?’

  ‘I’d like that very much.’

  ‘Rose, fetch your parents to come and say goodbye, please,’ Elenor said and opened the door. She turned back to Jackson who stood looking at her and she could see his reluctance to leave.

  ‘I’ll shake your hand if you don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I think a hug from Rose can never be beaten.’

  She held out her hand and Jackson took it in his and stroked the back with his thumb.

  ‘I’ll return and claim one from you another time. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this.’ He pulled her into his arms and for the second time in her life Elenor gave into the warmth of his lips. Only a discreet cough from Victoria broke them apart.

  As she stood at the front door, he stopped at the end of the street and looked back and waved. Then he turned the corner and left her with a pain in her heart so deep Elenor could no longer see sunshine. The darkness had returned.

  Chapter 22

  February 1939

  ‘Woo-hoo. Someone’s got a Valentine.’

  Rose’s voice rang out around the hallway in a sing-song tease.

  ‘Miss E Cardew. I think it is for yoo-hoo!’

  Elenor laughed as she ventured downstairs. Rose ran up and down waving the letter in her hand.

  ‘Stop your teasing and give me the post.’

  Rose handed over the thick pile but refused to give her the one from the top.

  Elenor flicked through the mixture of post and gave a giggle.

  ‘Oh, see. I am not the only one to receive a love letter, Miss R Sherbourne,’ she said and held another envelope high above her head. ‘Swap?’

  Rose gave up jumping high to try and reach her post and handed Elenor hers.

  Elenor could smell cologne and engine oil and smiled. Jackson’s familiar perfume always brought her a measure of hope.

  Rose tore at her envelope and a card with cupids firing arrows fell to the floor.

  ‘I wonder who it is from. Johnathon? That boy we met in the park?’

  Elenor watched the girl run to show her parents. Dear Jackson had thought of Rose. Her envelope also smelled of him. She held hers close and went to the parlour to read it in peace.

  Dear Elenor,

  I know it is usual to hide the name of the sender of a Valentine’s card, but I am making use of this one to write my latest update.

  Since I last held you in my arms things have been busier with extra flying hours, so forgive me for not writing sooner. Thank you for your last letter, it is packed in my case ready to take home with me, to be put in a box of memories of my trip to England.

  My commander-in-chief has signed off my British hours and I will be heading home by the time you receive this. War news is not looking favourable and if the forecast moves the way I think it might, it will be years before I can hold you in my arms again, and it is therefore my painful duty to let you go. The words read harsh on paper.

  We are both young and our lives should not be put on hold – life is too short. You deserve to have a man with you on a more regular basis. Someone to take you to the movies, a lover to give you more than promises from afar.

  I pray you will forgive my attempt at encouraging you to become more than a friend. It was unforgivable, and wrong of me to take advantage of your friendship.

  Please, have a good life and should you find forgiveness, please write to me.

  With my deep friendship and respect,

  Jackson St John.

  Elenor watched the card and envelope flutter to the floor. It was all too much to bear. Another loss. She’d trusted Jackson with her heart and now he’d broken it, and with a Valentine’s card of all things. She wanted to scream but held it inside. She stepped over the paper items on the floor and went into the hallway. Rose was reading the words of her card out loud to her parents, and Elenor couldn’t bear to hear any more. She pulled on her coat and pushed her feet into her outdoor shoes. Nothing had prepared her for this new emotion. The front door clicked behind her and she focused on walking out of the street and towards the park.

  For two hours she walked in the rain, barely noticing how drenched her coat and shoes were. As she walked she made plans to leave Coventry. London was a good distance away and offered a different
kind of life. No one would know she had gone, that way she could never be hurt again. No bad news would touch her from those she loved. Leaving Rose would be hard, but it would be better than living in fear of losing her. And she would, one day. She would pack as soon as she could face going home again. She marched along the river bank, but her heartbreak overwhelmed her and she slid to the floor into darkness.

  ‘She’s coming round’

  ‘Shhh.’

  ‘Elenor. How do you feel?’

  ‘My girl, you gave us quite a scare.’

  Voices jabbered inside her head and Elenor tried to block them out. She wanted quiet to think.

  Her body ached. She felt the warmth of a cloth on her face.

  ‘Pack. I need to pack.’

  ‘Hush now. You need to rest.’

  ‘London.’

  With effort Elenor tried to move. Her head pounded with pain and her joints burned.

  ‘Well, she’s out of the woods. Still delirious though. Keep her warm and try to get fluids down her. I’ll check in tomorrow. I’ll see myself out.’

  Elenor made out the voice of the doctor. What was he doing in the park? Why was she lying down? She needed to get home to pack for London. She pulled at her coat, but it had wrapped itself around her body and she struggled to get free.

  ‘Lie still, Elenor. Don’t tire yourself.’

  Victoria’s voice was soft, and Elenor could smell fresh baking.

  ‘I’ll leave you to it and take Rose to school.’

  George.

  Why were they all in the park?

  Too tired to think anymore, Elenor gave into her weariness and lay still. Her head pain eased.

  ‘How is she today?’

  Elenor roused herself to the sound of the doctor’s voice and opened her eyes. The light of the room glared bright and she squinted.

  ‘Hello, young lady.’

  The doctor’s face was a blur. She lifted her head from the pillow, but the pain increased and she fell back.

  ‘Take it steady. You hit your head when you fell. Luckily the park-keeper found you in time. Goodness knows how long you’d been in the water.’

  ‘Water?’ Elenor tried to speak but a cough rasped from her lungs.

  ‘We’ll explain later. You’ve been out cold for the best part of a week.’

  A week. She’d never packed for London. Why did she keep thinking about London?

  A pain in her chest caught her breath again, and more coughing ensued.

  ‘Listen to Victoria and do everything she says. Understand?’

  Unable to nod without experiencing more pain, Elenor raised her head from the counterpane.

  Darkness moved across her eyes and she fell under its spell once more.

  Recovery from pneumonia and her head injury took its toll on Elenor. Victoria nursed her through the weeks of recovery with a tenderness Elenor had never experienced, and showed a side to Victoria that was unusual. George kept Rose from sitting beside her for too long and reassured her that everything was running smoothly downstairs. He and Victoria had moved a bed into the parlour in preparation for when she was ready to move around again.

  Mrs Green visited and told her there would be a position vacant before the year was out, a member of staff was expecting a baby. She would put Elenor’s name down as an applicant when the time came, but Elenor couldn’t think that far into the future. She focused upon small daily tasks such as washing herself.

  Each day Elenor tried to remember what had happened in the park but drew a blank. No-one could explain any more than that she’d been found bleeding from the head, hooked across a rock in the freezing river. The park-keeper found a wet receipt from Owen’s in her pocket, made out her aunt’s name and sent for help; from then on Mrs Green took charge.

  One afternoon the sunshine broke through a chink in the curtains and Elenor struggled from the bed. Her lungs burned, and her legs felt like jelly, but she made it to the chair beside the window. Outside birds flitted from tree to tree, and Elenor could see spring nudging winter aside.

  She sat going over in her head things she felt she needed to remember, and once satisfied she knew her name and address, and those of the people who’d attended to her needs whilst she’d been ill, she gave up trying to fathom out why she had intended to go to London. She’d once asked Victoria, but she couldn’t give an answer.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Rose’s voice called from behind the closed door.

  ‘Come in, Rose.’

  Her young friend stepped inside, and her face broke out into a wide grin.

  ‘You’re out of bed. You still look ill. You are skinny.’

  ‘And you are still cheeky.’

  Rose pulled the counterpane from the bed and dragged it across the floor. She pushed and poked it onto Elenor’s lap.

  ‘We have to keep you warm. Do you want a cup of tea? I’ll go and tell Mummy. She’s been ever so worried about you.’

  ‘Everyone has been so kind. Yes please, ask Mummy for tea.’

  She watched Rose scamper from the door, and slowly a memory returned of her jumping up and down in the hallway. Valentine’s Day, and then Elenor remembered the reason she’d wanted to leave Coventry. A memory she’d forced to the back of her mind. A memory which appeared to have caused a burden on others. A memory no longer worthy of her time. She needed to concentrate on getting better.

  The door opened, and Rose guided her mother inside the room. Victoria carried a tray laden with food, but Elenor could not face eating. She sipped at a cup of tea handed to her but felt only its warmth, she tasted nothing. She watched Victoria fuss around her bed plumping pillows, and Rose helping fold towels and bedclothes. Their lives had a purpose. To help her heal.

  ‘Thank you,’ she whispered, her body drained of all energy.

  ‘I’ll help you back to bed. The doctor said you mustn’t tire yourself,’ Victoria said, and helped Elenor across the room.

  ‘How long has it been, Victoria? Since my accident?’

  ‘Oh, we’re talking a month today. The doctor did consider hospital for you at one point, but he decided moving you might do more harm than good. We’ve come through the worst, now we have to get you strong again.’

  ‘You’ve had a lot to do, Victoria. I am truly grateful.’

  ‘I have no doubt in my mind you’d have done the same for any of us. I saw how you tended your aunt.’

  ‘But still, I am grateful. It was my own foolish fault. I remember now why I walked to the park. He let me down,’ she said.

  Victoria patted her arm.

  ‘I found the card. It is in safe-keeping, but I think you are best off thinking about your future, not the past,’ she said.

  Elenor lay back and closed her eyes and drew a mental line under the last few weeks of the year. Victoria was right; it was time to look forward not backwards.

  Chapter 23

  ‘He’s looking your way,’ Sally whispered from behind the curtain.

  ‘Will you stop it, Sally? He’s the leading man and is checking we are ready. You are always trying to pair us off.’

  Elenor adjusted the wig on her head and glared at her friend. She looked across at Prince Charming on the opposite side of the stage. He put up two thumbs in encouragement and she returned the gesture with a curtsey.

  The local drama group had proven to be a good aid to her recovery and Elenor enjoyed Sally’s company during practice, but only when she wasn’t trying to marry her friend off to any male looking her way. Tonight’s performance of Cinderella was full to capacity and Elenor could see her guests sitting in the front row. Rose sat in a pretty dress swinging her legs with impatience. George, Victoria and Mrs Green sat with programmes clasped in their hands.

  The July heat was exacerbated by the layers of lace and the wig, and she kept her fingers crossed she would get through the evening without passing out. Nerves also added to the collection of issues Elenor tried to overcome. Now back in full health, it wouldn’t do to faint.

&n
bsp; After an hour it was time for her to sing the song for the finale, and Rose bounced in her seat in front. She knew each word and mouthed along with Elenor, and at the end of the performance stood with the rest of the audience. The noise of their applause rang through the hall and the performers ended the evening with pride.

  ‘We did it,’ Sally said and swung Elenor around.

  ‘We did, and my princess did us proud,’ Prince Charming said and kissed the back of Elenor’s hand. ‘Can I tempt you to join me for a drink when we’ve finished up backstage?’ he asked.

  Sally pulled faces behind Elenor’s back and tried to encourage her to go. Elenor was aware the young man had feelings for her and had often hinted he’d like to walk out with her, but she had no intention of letting another man into her life. Her time at the drama club was freedom from her past, but if she allowed herself to become emotionally involved with a fellow member, it would not allow her to heal after Jackson’s rejection. She needed to come to terms with her pain, not hide behind another relationship.

  ‘Thank you, but no. I’ve enjoyed the evening but need to go home and rest. I have to work tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh, go on. I’ll come,’ Sally said.

  ‘You go. Enjoy yourselves. When I’ve finished removing this outfit and make-up I’m heading home with Rose. She’ll never forgive me if I don’t read her a bedtime story.’

  Sally stepped forward and took Elenor’s hand. ‘You have to get over him.’

  ‘I am. This is about Rose, not me. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.’ Elenor pulled her friend close and gave her a hug.

  The following morning Elenor entered the store and stood behind the Yardley counter. She loved serving customers and had many returning customers. Her sales pleased Mrs Green and Elenor couldn’t think of a better way of earning a living. She spotted Sally walking across the shop floor and beckoned her over.

  ‘Did you go for a drink?’

  ‘I did, and he was easily swayed, so I have a sneaking feeling you were right to head home. He was waiting for me outside my house this morning. Claims it’s on his way to work. You will have to help me out at the new rehearsals. Take him off my hands.’