“Shh,” he murmurs, his mouth hovering above mine. “Don’t want to wake up the roommates.”
He kisses me before I can say anything, his fingers busy, his tongue thrusting. I cling to him, gasping into his mouth when he slips a finger inside of me.
This is the absolute farthest I’ve ever gone with a guy. He’s going to make me come. I can feel the orgasm looming, building with his every stroke. He increases his speed, pulling out to rub my clit, and I grab hold of him tightly, a frustrated cry falling from my lips.
I’m so close. Desperate to fall over that edge.
He kisses me. Softer this time. His fingers slow, the intensity lessening. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud, lost in the delicious sensation his fingers are drawing out of me. I’m so wet, I can hear them search my folds, gliding over me, and I lie there, solely focused on his fingers. My throbbing clit. His mouth on mine. His tongue.
The intensity slowly returns, but it’s somehow smoother. Not as frantic, but still consuming. My breathing increases with his every stroke, his thumb pressing against my clit and from out of nowhere, it hits me.
I’m coming.
My body is consumed with shivers, a soft cry falling from my lips that Jackson swallows. Time stops, but he never stops touching me, kissing me, and the orgasm feels as if it could go on forever. My heart feels as if it could beat right out of my chest and I arch my back, my hips lifting, seeking his fingers. Not ever wanting him to stop.
Until it’s over, and I’m practically begging him to stop. It’s too much. My skin is too sensitive. It’s literally throbbing in time with my heartbeat.
I can’t say anything. I’m too focused on calming my heart rate, my still rattled body. He shifts away from me, his hand still on my hip, his head dipping to draw my left nipple into his mouth. He sucks it deep, making me wince in pain. In pleasure. I rest my hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him away and he stops.
“You okay?” he murmurs against my temple as he drifts the back of his hand across my stomach.
I nuzzle against his bare chest, my mouth brushing against his hot skin as I speak. “Yeah.”
“Was it good for you?” I can hear the humor in his voice. I think he already knows the answer to my question.
“Yes,” I say.
He kisses me, so tenderly I almost want to cry. It’s like that orgasm brought all of my emotions to the surface, and I’m barely hanging on. Especially since I’m experiencing all of this with Jackson. It’s like a dream come true. “You should go to sleep. I bet you’re tired.”
“But what about you?” I try to look up at him, but he’s holding me too tight.
“I’m fine,” he says.
I can literally feel his erection between us. He is far from fine.
“Jackson…”
“Stop.” He kisses my forehead again. “Let me take care of you.”
I remain quiet as he crawls off the bed, watching him as he pulls back the comforter and sheet to tuck me beneath it. I see his unmistakable erection tenting the front of his shorts and I’m so tempted to touch it. Stroke him. See what he does.
I’m also afraid he’ll reject me, so I keep my hands to myself.
He pulls the covers up to my chin, smiling down at me before he kisses me on the lips. It’s chaste. Sweet. He smiles. Rises to his full height and grabs his T-shirt that is lying on the end of my bed, ready to slip it on.
“Are you leaving?” I ask incredulously.
He frowns. “You don’t want me to?”
I shake my head. That he even has to ask blows my mind.
“Stay for a little bit,” I whisper.
He drops his T-shirt where he found it and climbs into bed with me. Pulls me close. Holds me tight.
I fall asleep immediately.
Seventeen
Jackson
Shit.
I can’t sleep. My mind is racing over what I did to Ellie. Jesus.
I stripped her naked. I made her come with my fingers. In the scheme of sexual things, it shouldn’t be that much of a big deal. What’s a finger bang in the scheme of life? It’s no biggie.
But with Ellie, this has been building up between us. We’ve just changed…
Everything.
I know she has to be a virgin. She’s never said it out loud, but come on.
It’s Ellie. She’s definitely a virgin. The fictious three other guys she made out with besides me did not do what I just did to her.
Nope. No way.
I’m still as hard as a rock. And she’s been asleep for the last ten minutes at least. Maybe longer. I’ve lost track of time. All I can focus on is her hot little naked body smushed up against mine. Her ass rubbing my dick. No wonder I’m hard.
A sigh leaves her when I squeeze her closer. It would take nothing for me to get rid of my shorts and boxers and slide into her welcoming heat. When I slipped a finger inside her earlier, she’d been so tight. Squeezing around me like a vise. That’s why I didn’t use a second finger. I was afraid I might hurt her.
Virgins aren’t my style. I like my women experienced. Up for anything and everything. Hell, I usually like the foreplay stuff better than the actual act, because with actual sex comes so much more than I can deliver.
Expectations. Commitment. Even if it’s committing to another hookup the next day, the next week, the next month, I usually avoid that sort of thing. One and done is my mantra.
A mantra I live by.
Until this moment. I can’t imagine trying to give the one and done treatment to Ellie. She’d hang me up by my balls, all her girlfriends gleefully helping her do it. I can imagine the blood thirsty grins on their faces. Ellie. Ava. Hayden and Gracie…
I shudder at the thought.
So what do I do now? How do I handle this? I still need to help her out with her car situation. I need to pick her up from work tomorrow night. Probably the night after that too. What are we going to do? Come back here and mess around some more?
My dick twitches. I guess that’s its way of saying yes.
Damn it, I think I’ve fucked everything up.
It takes me a while, but I eventually fall asleep. And dream, of course. Scary ass dreams of Ellie in a hideous, bright white wedding dress, chasing after me down an endless aisle, her friends—the bridesmaids all wearing matching hideous yellow dresses—chanting my name over and over again. Until I’m suddenly at a concert, on stage, ready to perform. But every girl watching me in the audience looks exactly like Ellie in that damn wedding dress. Haunting me.
Taunting me.
My eyes snap open and I blink the room into focus. Ellie is still nuzzled up against me, her back to my front. Dim grayish light is filtering through the blinds and I try to roll over as slowly as possible, so I don’t wake her up.
It works. I roll right out of bed and check my phone. Just past five.
I need to get the hell out of here.
I slip my shirt back on and step into my slides. Grab my phone and wallet from where I left them, along with my keys. Go back to the bed and drop a light kiss on Ellie’s forehead before I exit her room. I make my way down the stairs and am just about to open the front door when I hear a rustle in the kitchen, an unfamiliar girl standing at the counter, dressed in workout gear and a banana in her hand, watching me with her mouth hanging open.
“Ellie’s boyfriend?” she asks me, her voice squeaky.
I smile at her, unlocking the door. “Sure.”
I don’t say anything else as I slip through the door and quietly shut it behind me.
I do terrible on the psych test, but I don’t even care. It’s only twenty points and it’s still early enough in the semester that I can pick up my grade, no problem. Once I’m done with the two classes I have in the morning, I go in search of Caleb, who also has an hour break in between classes. We usually grab something to eat on campus and chill.
Caleb is a great guy. He’s also a complete horn dog. Women are his main focus of study on campus, and what I mean b
y that is he thinks about them constantly. As in, he wants to conquer as many as possible during his college years. He has this giant fear of becoming complacent once he graduates. He thinks he’s going to end up exactly like his father, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. His dad seems like a cool enough guy. Works hard, been married to Caleb’s mom for over twenty years. They live in a small house. Caleb had a relatively simple life growing up, but they seem like happy, well-adjusted people.
Why Caleb acts the way he does, I don’t know. I don’t question it either. He confuses me. You’d think he’d want to be like his parents eventually.
Caleb is also a lot more introspective than any of us give him credit for. When Tony was going through his issues with Hayden, it was Caleb who gave him solid advice, surprising all of us.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised then, when he sees me as I approach him in front of the on-campus Starbucks, that he says, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Settling in the chair across from his, I pull my sunglasses out of my backpack and slip them on, staring up at the sky. “Nothing. Didn’t sleep much.”
“Why? Banging some hottie?”
We have that in common—always in search of girls. We might’ve also gone out on the prowl together a time or two. I’m the last one standing beside him, he always says. It’s just the two of us who don’t have a girl attached at our side all the time, which Caleb thinks is absolute bullshit.
I never remind him of how he still hooks up with Baylee on occasion. Girl has crushed on him for what feels like forever, according to everyone else. She’s the girl he kept as a secret side piece the last two years they were in high school. She took all of his shit, and still came back for more. I don’t know if that means she sees the potential in Caleb, or she’s a complete idiot.
“Not really,” I hedge, not sure if I want to tell him about Ellie.
Everyone in our friend group knows that Ellie has crushed on me for a long time. At first, they assumed we would end up together. At one point, I wondered if it would happen as well. But I resisted. I kept on resisting. Eventually, everyone figured that it wasn’t going to happen. The guys felt sorry for Ellie because she was still hung up on me. The girls thought I was leading her on, and told me privately I was an asshole who needed to make it happen or cut ties.
That last bit was brought to me by the ever unfiltered, tell it like it is Ava Callahan.
I get why she said that. She’s Ellie’s best friend. She wants to protect her.
Which makes me think of that FaceTime call last night, and how Ellie never mentioned I was there. Not once. And I spied on that conversation openly until I eventually fell asleep. I’m fairly confident she never mentioned my name while I was sleeping either.
Interesting.
“Not really, you didn’t hook up with someone, or not really because you did, and you don’t want to talk about it?” Caleb asks, always curious.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I keep my head tilted back, still facing the sky, but I’m giving Caleb serious side-eye.
He grins. Literally rubs his hands together. “Come on. Spill. I need deets. Was it filthy hot and you want to keep her to yourself? Afraid she’d see me and dump your skinny ass?”
Caleb is bigger than me, and he never lets me forget it.
“Nah, that’s not it,” I tell him, keeping my expression neutral.
“You’re embarrassed because she’s your secret ho and you don’t want us to know who you’re fucking on the low?”
Shit. That is scarily accurate. Though Ellie isn’t a ho. Far from it. “We’re not fucking.”
Yet.
That sends a shiver down my spine.
“Jackson. Come on. Be a homie and tell me what happened last night.” He pauses for a second, that grin still on his face. “And with who?”
I turn to look at him, slowly shaking my head. “Nope. No way. No deets. You’ll tell people.”
“Who the hell would I tell? And who would care? Everyone we know is all lovey-dovey and getting fucked on the daily by their significant other.” He sounds so annoyed, his smile long gone. “Please don’t tell me you’re keeping this under wraps because you’re going to end up like the rest of them.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Tied down at the tender age of nineteen and in a committed relationship.” He rolls his eyes. “Seriously, what the hell is going on with everyone? Why are they wanting to get so serious, so fast?”
I shrug. “Sometimes you just know when you’ve found your person, I guess.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with the girls,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You sound just like them.”
“I sound just like who?”
“Hayden. Ava. Ellie.” He waves a hand. “Ugh, Jocelyn. She’s the worst when it comes to believing in true love and all that shit.”
“Caleb. You sound crazy right now,” I tell him, not holding back. “So down on our friends’ relationships.”
“You’re usually down on them too.” He reaches over and nudges me in the shoulder.
“Where did you go? I want my friend back.”
“It’s still early. Plus I’m tired,” I admit.
His grin returns. “Right. Banging your secret hottie. Give me deets when you’re ready to reveal. You know I’ll be sitting here waiting impatiently to hear what’s going on and with who.”
Yeah. Not going to happen for a while. Once they find out I’m messing around with Ellie, the shit is going to hit the fan.
And splatter everywhere.
I go about the rest of my day in somewhat of a fog. Tired from lack of sleep. Confused over what I did with Ellie. Confused more by my feelings for her.
As in, I’m not sure how to feel. Where to go next with this. And why can’t I stop thinking about her?
By the time we’re wrapping up practice and in the locker rooms, I’m moving slow, going through the motions, and not talking much. I’m eager to get out of here, go straight home and collapse into bed.
But I can only take a nap, because I still need to pick up Ellie after she gets off work. Not that I’ve confirmed this with her. Like a complete shithead, I haven’t texted her all day. And she hasn’t said anything to me either. Haven’t seen her around on campus, though I never really do, unless we all plan to meet up, which hasn’t happened since school started.
Does this make me an asshole for not contacting her? I am the one who slipped out of her room in the early morning hours without a word or a note or a text. She’s probably pissed at me.
What else is new?
“Wanna go grab dinner?” Diego asks us as he slips a shirt on over his head.
“Don’t you have to run home to wifey?” Caleb asks, taunting him as usual.
“Jocelyn and Gigi are with her mom and sister. They’re shopping, having dinner, whatever. Addie got her braces off today so they’re celebrating,” Diego explains. Addie is Jocelyn’s little sister.
“So you’re a free man for the night?” Caleb offers up his hand and Diego slaps it. “Let’s go.”
“I’m fucking starving, so I’m down,” Eli says, his gaze cutting to mine. “How about you?”
I should say no. I’m tired. I could go back to our apartment and get a few hours of sleep under my belt before I have to go pick up Ellie.
But my friends are watching me with hope in their eyes. They want me to go with them, and I can’t resist these fuckers.
“Sure,” I say easily. “I’m hungry.”
“Let’s go to Doghouse Grill,” Eli says, and they all nod in agreement.
Except for me. Shit. I don’t want to go there. Not tonight. Really don’t want the first time I see Ellie after what happened last night to be witnessed by my friends.
They’ll give us endless shit, especially if Ellie reacts negatively toward me, which she has the potential to do. I am the asshole who hasn’t reached out to her after I reached between her legs.
If she’s m
ad and acts rude toward me, they’ll ask what I did to piss her off, and what can I say?
No big deal. We kissed. I took her to her bed. Stripped her naked. Touched her everywhere. Fingered her until she came. Held her close and slept with her for a few hours until I snuck out of her bed without a word. And that was it. Big mistake, am I right?
That I even thought of the words big mistake makes me feel like a complete dick.
Everyone else agrees that we’re going to Doghouse Grill, so I have to agree, too. Which I do with a barely there shrug. Eli catches my gaze, frowning in question, and I just shake my head.
“You’re riding with me,” he says, pointing his finger at me.
Great. Now I’m going to have to explain myself. I’d love to avoid this conversation.
Looks like I’m not gonna.
Once we’re in Eli’s Charger and he’s fired up the engine until it roars, he pulls out of the parking lot and immediately starts talking.
“What is your deal? Why didn’t you want to go there to eat? Does it have to do with Ellie?” Eli asks.
He’s far more aware of the Ellie thing than anyone else, only because we lived those moments together during our senior year. When he was in hot pursuit of Ava and Ellie became my new adoring fan.
“She might be mad at me,” I say.
“Why?”
“We might’ve done something last night.”
Silence fills the interior of the car, making me squirm.
“What exactly did you two do?” he asks carefully.
“You can’t tell anyone. Especially Caleb.” He will never let me live this down.
Let’s be real. None of them will let me live this down.
“Dude, just spit it out,” Eli says impatiently.
“We hooked up.”
More silence as Eli absorbs what I just said.
“Really? How was it? Did you fuck her? Please tell me you didn’t fuck her,” Eli says, keeping his gaze on the road.
“I didn’t fuck her. But we did other stuff.” I don’t need to go into detail.
The Sophomore Page 15