Doing Lunch

by Doing Lunch Free(Lit)

  The bar near the Kremlin was loaded with bureaucratic types who were like their American counterparts, just trying to unwind at the end of the day. While the bar was well stocked, vodka still remained the favorite at Saint Petersburg's Bar and Grill. The reason was that it was inexpensive since it was produced in Russia. This kept the labor and transportation costs to a minimum.

  Sipping his vodka, Volitov looked around, hoping to see someone that he knew. Usually that was not a problem but today had been a very hectic day with Alexi since he had to help draw up an inventory of the military hardware that would be going to Gdansk. Looking off into the corner, he noticed his longtime friend Gregory Petrov with his girlfriend, Leona. He had not seen Gregory in some time, perhaps seven or eight months, so he thought that he could approach, at least for a moment.

  “Gregory, Leona.” Seeing his friend, Gregory stood up and hugged Volitov.

  “Andrei, how have you been? Sit down, sit down.” Volitov filled a third chair with his rear end.

  “So tell me, Andrei, where do they have you these days?”

  “I am assigned to the premier’s office.”

  “What is Debenov like?”

  “Working for him I feel as I am back in school. He is very kindly but he always wants to teach me something new. I cannot wait until I become an old dog. And you?”

  “I have been shuffling papers for General Norlov, what a bore. This democracy thing is driving him crazy, absolutely nuts. He wants to take over something, maybe head back to Afghanistan. Today was a crazy day when he received a visit from General Ryaskoff.”

  “General Ryaskoff from the Kremlin?”

  “That one. He showed up out of nowhere and stayed about two hours.”

  “I wonder what that was all about.”

  “What do you think they were talking about, they were talking about overthrowing Russia and taking...”

  “Not so loud, Leona,” interrupted Gregory. When the aid to General Norlov turned his eyes toward Andrei, he found them staring at him.

  “What is going on here, Gregory?”

  “I do not know if they are planning to overtake Russia, but he did ask me to prepare a list of armaments and where they were located. He also asked me to find out where Colonels Travastich, Lavin and Stanislaus were located.”

  “Those three would have been generals under Stalin.”

  “Now do you believe me?” asked Leona of Volitov. “Do you not believe that they want to take Russia over?”

  “I am sure of it. I wonder why?”

  “If you ask me I think they want to return Russia to Communism because they never worked a day in their lives. Under free enterprise they would have to learn something, get off their asses.”

  “Yes, but that goes for all of us. If I lose my job with Alexi or he leaves office, what could I do with my background as a spy?” questioned Volitov of the others. They remained speechless since they had no answer for his career search.

  “Do you think they could pull this coup off?” asked Volitov, knowing that if he asked enough questions one should be answered.

  “They just might, Andrei. The army had not been paid in so long, they are ripe for revolt.”

  “Yes, that is correct.” Seeing a waiter at a nearby table, Andrei tugged at his sleeve to gain his attention.

  “More drinks.” Volitov knew that there were many questions he was going to have to ask, a lot of information that he needed. If he had to settle in for a while, he was going to make himself comfortable. The one thing he learned when he went down to Nirvana was just how loose people could get with a few drinks in them. Certainly did wonders for the gaming tables.

  Alexi’s house was a center of activity. The limousines were coming along with several other luxury style automobiles. To the keen, sophisticated observer there had to be something very important going on inside for all of these high state officials to be meeting at this location at a little past three in the morning. That they were coming to a house where the only appetizers would be vegetarian, while most of those in attendance were carnivorous, made it obvious that this meeting was important. Not one person attending was a member of the Communist Party.

  Inside the living room the chairs had been rearranged in a circular manner with a podium set up to face the group. Alexi chose this setup because he always felt at ease with the student environment. With all of these political honchos sitting in front of him he only wished that he could teach them a thing or two.

  “Gentlemen, I have summoned you here to make a rather startling announcement.” Alexi had chosen the right words to begin his speech because he noticed that almost everyone was sitting erect.

  “We have discovered a plot to overthrow the government using military force.”

  Suddenly, a barrage of questions was aimed at Alexi without one hand being raised. At least students had some protocol. These members of the politburo were acting as if they were part of the Washington press corps and Alexi was just disappointed in himself that he hadn’t brought along a piece of raw meat. At least they knew to ask who, what, when, where, why and how. Unfortunately for Alexi there were far too many who, where, and when’s, which was something he just could not answer for security reasons.

  “Yes we have everything under control and I will ask that you not mention this to anyone until we can bring those responsible to justice.” The sigh from the politburo members was something that resembled a symbol of confidence in Alexi’s government. Alexi sensed that most of those around him were concerned because they now owned stock.

  “There is one thing that I am able to tell you and that in order to both disarm any coup and to raise funds for mother Russia, we are selling all of our military hardware. It will be leaving our country on Friday and headed to Gdansk in Poland. The vehicles are being purchased by the prince of Borneo and he intends to use the hardware to develop theme parks around the world.”

  “And I’ll bet Libya wants the biggest one,” came an unidentified voice.

  “It is quite alright, the weapons will not be able to come back to haunt us. We have already started to plug the barrels and remove the computer chips. We have already cleared everything with the Polish government and they have given us permission. For those that intended to take over, we will deal with them in a Democratic fashion.”

  The conversation between those in attendance left Alexi standing at the podium since no one was paying attention to him. Like most people, if he did not have eye contact he believed that the person was not paying attention to him. In this case he was correct. Suddenly the sound of thumping from above was heard, drawing everyone’s attention toward the ceiling.

  “Do not worry, it is merely my wife doing jumping jacks, trying to get down to a size five.” The way Orlina had taken to this fitness craze, Alexi was going to be the man around town with the woman with the nicest figure. However, since he had lost so much weight, he was going to be too weak to enjoy it.

  The way that Orlina was going at it she gave the impression that she wanted to get down to a size five within a week. Pieces of plaster began falling without any assistance. The faint hearted began making for the exit in the event a catastrophe struck. The news of the failed coup and the sale of arms to another country to be turned into a theme amusement park was more than some could handle in a night. Within twenty minutes everyone except Alexi’s inner circle vacated the living room.

  “I can’t believe that we paid Volitov a million dollars for that information.”

  “Alexi, get use to it. There is a certain price to doing business,” advised Mikhail, knowing that the money paid was money well spent. Getting the information in time would allow them to stop it before it was beyond their means of doing anything.

  “We will have to punish those responsible, will we not, Mikhail?”

  “Of course, Alexi. I would appreciate it if you would let me and Allison take care of it.”

  “You may have the honor.”

  The meeting at the Foreign Ministe
r’s office had nothing to do with matters concerning the international front. The only people in attendance were members of the Communist Party, once the only party that was on the ballot.

  “I have asked you to come because I will need your help. General Ryaskoff and myself have decided from looking at what is happening to mother Russia that capitalism will not work. Our natural resources are being dug from the earth and will be sold for far less than we should be getting. We have foreign investors coming into this country to get cheap labor for their products so that they can make even more money than they usually do. We have people gambling and drinking like crazy in Nirvana, they are even planning on building two more hotels. This is not Russia, Russia can’t be like this, we must not let it be like this. We must do something.”

  “I did, I got in on the ground floor,” advised Yalantov.

  “The ground floor?”

  “Yes, Serge. I bought stock last week in several companies when they opened the markets. I’m already ahead.” Sergotoff was floored by the unexpected revelation. There was nothing that would have made him think that a Communist would buy into a stock market. Would mutual funds be next?

  Looking over at Berchev, he hoped to receive some support.

  “I too, Foreign Minister, am buying stocks.” The disappointment grew within Sergotoff as he received one affirmative response after another. Finally reaching Medansky, he was convinced that he now would find someone to join him. He also knew that if the head of the KGB did join him and the general, they would have to imprison the others because they knew too much. If Medansky also got in on the ground floor, Sophia would get that return trip to Monte Carlo much sooner than she had expected.

  “And you, Medansky, will you not join me?”

  “I cannot. I am leaving the intelligence service to go into business for myself.” One more surprise for Sergotoff, and they would have to dial nine one one. This idea to overthrow the Russian government was going to cost Sergotoff a buck or two. He had seen what they were getting for houses in Monte Carlo and even though reared in Communism, he knew an overinflated house when he saw one.

  “What kind of business do you think you could start?”

  “Private investigator.”

  Bringing his hands to his face to cover it, Sergotoff was beside himself. Wanting to weep, his eyes just stared into the darkness that his cupped hands provided until he heard noises. Looking up, he noticed the room almost empty, with Medansky and Yalantov making their way to the door.

  “Wait! Come back!” His pleas went the way the rest of the day had gone, by the wayside. Moving toward the telephone, he found that he couldn’t get a dial tone. Moving to exit his office, he found himself facing two plain-clothes officers and two uniformed officers. One man held out his identification for Sergotoff to get a good look.

  “Foreign Minister Sergotoff, you will have to come with me. We have a matter of internal security that we would like to discuss with you.” Looking at the man, Sergotoff turned his attention toward the phone.

  “Yes sir, we disconnected your service. Your wife will be advised as to where you are.” Reluctantly, the Foreign Minister made his way with the men, knowing the end of his career was in sight and it was just a matter of what prison he would be sent.

  General Ryaskoff arrived at the military installation that he was summoned to unexpectedly. He went with great anticipation since he had no idea what it was all about, why he had been summoned. There he quickly made his way to the office of General Gregorsky. Entering, he found that the general now wore four stars, the same as he.

  “General!” declared General Gregorsky “It has been a long time.”

  “Yes, it has been a long time. I now see you have four stars, the same as me. When did you receive the fourth?”

  “Just two days ago. We have some very important business to take care of, General. We are moving out and heading into Poland.”

  General Ryaskoff’s eyes began to bulge with a gleam of glory being detected by his fellow general. Gregorsky knew that Ryaskoff gave the directive an interpretation that suited his ego, that he was thinking that Russia was going to invade Poland. Had Ryaskoff thought logically instead of through some glory seeking eyes, he would have asked why invade Poland, what for?

  “We, the two highest ranking generals, will bring Russia back her glory. We will again be a world power.”

  “Whatever,” came the response from General Gregorsky that only confused his counterpart. “We will be leaving for Gdansk in the morning.”

  “We are going straight through to Gdansk?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do we have enough supplies?”

  “Plenty.”

  “Have you talked to the officers about their jobs?”

  “Everything has been taken care of.”

  “Are you sure, General? You have never run an operation like this one.”

  Gregorsky looked at Ryaskoff, wearing the straightest face he could under the circumstances, and merely stated, “And I am sure that it will be the last one.” It was easy to make a statement like that when you were aware that the other party had absolutely no idea of the true meaning of your words.

  “Men strive their entire lives to reach the top and you act as if you do not care.”

  “The pay's the same if we go to war or not.” Gregorsky’s remark had Ryaskoff wondering about what kind of soldier Russia was raising. He felt that he would have to grab the bull by the horns and take over command once they were in Poland. Ryaskoff had been a good general, a man that had advanced on merit, and certainly he was not suffering from diminished capacity. He was curious about why they would head all the way to a seaport like Gdansk, but figured that General Gregorsky was merely following orders. That would mean, under that assumption, the general would have no idea why that destination had been selected.

  “Get a good night’s sleep, General, we will be leaving at four in the morning. My aide will show you to your quarters.” Exchanging salutes, Ryaskoff exited.

  The sun was setting on Maui and Guska had just downed another Mai Tai, something he had become addicted to. The tan that he now wore had Mirnov calling him and Boltran his Cajun friends. He had been downing rum based drinks now for six months and started to wonder why Russia never invaded Puerto Rico. The rum that country produced was certainly better than anything that any country Russia had ever occupied had produced. It certainly made for drinks that were out of this world if one considered Boltran and Guska experts.

  Moving toward Boltran who, even though he stood under a light, still gave the appearance of being a silhouette, sipped his drink.

  “This living on the beach is not such a bad life,” commented Guska.

  “Yes, we have been lucky that Mirnie has been able to get us odd jobs.” Just then Mirnov arrived with Annette in hand.

  “Well, I have some bad news. You two are going to have to move out of Mikhail’s condo for a couple of weeks. He’s coming home for some R and R. But don’t worry, I got you a place to stay, it’s the Sweeping Palms Hotel and all you two have to do is the maintenance. They’ll give you room and board.”

  “What about the Mai Tai’s?” asked Guska, who had his set of priorities.

  “Do not worry, I will take care of the Mai Tai’s.”

  Guska and Boltran raised their drinks in a salute to Mirnov. “To the Russian with the wicked blender.”

  Having been on the road for five days, Ryaskoff knew they were fast approaching Gdansk. When there was no resistance as the Russian armament passed, it surprised him since he felt that they had every piece of Russian armament with them. Nobody was scurrying from the sight and if anything, the people were acting as they were expecting it.

  Arriving at Gdansk, they made their way through the city and only found curious onlookers, not people who felt threatened as if being invaded.

  “Where are we going?” asked Ryaskoff. General Gregorsky rose in the back of the personnel carrier that they were riding in and gave the sign
al to stop. He reached into his coat and removed orders that he handed to General Ryaskoff. He quickly read them.

  “I have been reduced in rank! These orders are not real.”

  “Yes, they are real, General, and you are under arrest for sedition.” Quickly, two soldiers in the carrier handcuffed the beleaguered general.

  “We are not taking over Poland, are we?”

  “No. We are taking the armaments to the docks for shipping. The soldiers will return to Russia on the trains.”

  Being led away just shaking his head, General Ryaskoff started to think how this entire episode might play out if Tolstoy were using it to write a modern version of War and Peace.

  The interior of the premier’s office was now a very cheerful place since Alexi just had it painted a pale blue and brought in some modern artwork. Those old paintings that had hung in the office depicting scenes of the Russian Revolution placed in gold frames were dreadful for the premier to look at. The dark colors always made him depressed, even on sunny days. It reminded him of his sister-in-law who always wore black and must have been the inspiration to the song recorded by Cher titled “Dark Lady.”

  Sipping on a cherry cola, an American taste that infatuated him, he was not surprised when Serge Sergotoff and General Ryaskoff were led into his office. Alexi nodded to the guards to leave, a request that they complied with quickly. The two men standing in front of Alexi with solemn faces had no idea why they were brought there. Maybe they were about to receive a tongue-lashing.

  “I have decided your punishments.”

  “We are not going to be tried?” asked the former Foreign Minister.

  “What would happen to you in court, you might be sentenced to prison, big deal? I want to know that the two of you in your attempt to undermine the freedom, both civic and economic, of the people of Russia, have had to pay a price that reminded you of what you had done.”