The War Priest

by Ann Aguirre

  Which explained all the texts that she couldn’t respond to. Days of them, dumped all at once, from her worried mother. Joss read and reread those. Where did you go? Please call me. Some were angry, others cajoling, more yet sounded worried, and she hated being unable to get in touch.

  Part of her wondered what harm it would do to activate comms now, but if that move could hurt those in the field somehow, she’d better not risk it. Worse, it might draw the Gols down on Burnt Amber with all the soldiers gone. If they searched hard, they might find the secret tunnel and then—

  No, the wireless would remain off, no matter how frustrated she felt. She set down her phone, as obsessing over how she couldn’t contact her mother did no good. With a faint sigh, she went into the room she’d shared with Callum for too short a time. He didn’t own much, but his clothes were still hanging in the closet, as they’d taken virtually nothing on the march. It was simpler to live as bears and fight as bears. Until their strength runs out.

  Ridiculously, she picked up his pillow and tried to breathe him in, but even to her acute senses, his scent had faded. Only a hint of him here now, a whisper of black currant and cedar, a touch of musk. It lacked the living vitality of the scent fresh from his skin, and the slow fade was painful.

  Enough. Find something more productive to do with your time.

  As Joss came out of her building, an old woman intercepted her, moving with a care that spoke of tender joints. She seemed familiar, and after a moment, Joss identified her as the one who had known Callum as a boy.

  “We met briefly, but I don’t remember your name,” she said, figuring it was best to be honest. “I’m Joss Bristow.”

  “Callum’s woman, yes. And I’m pleased that a fuzzy memory isn’t a problem that only afflicts those my age. Agnes Kildew.”

  “What’s on your mind?” The older woman had headed for her purposefully, so she must have an agenda. Hopefully it wasn’t another impossible request, like a change in menu.

  “I hope you don’t think it’s silly, but I have an idea.”

  “Go ahead,” Joss said.

  “My stamina isn’t what it used to be, but I was thinking we could start a sewing circle, tailor the clothes that have been donated to fit the people who need them. It’s a bad feeling to have only castoffs that don’t fit properly. I know it won’t save lives or anything but—”

  “It will be good for morale.” Even without much consideration, Joss loved the idea. “It’s something we can do with the resources we have. Help people and make them feel more at home.”

  “And I was thinking, if there’s an interest, I could give knitting classes. I checked the shop and there’s plenty of yarn. It seems as if they’re not too crafty here, but busy hands help in a situation like this.”

  With a start, Joss remembered that she had planned to make sweaters for Renna and Callum. She’d even gotten the yarn and began both projects with great intentions, but amid all the chaos and uncertainty, the yarn and needles sat in a cupboard, completely forgotten. “We could make it a group activity,” she suggested. “I don’t know if I’m qualified to teach but I know how to knit, and I could assist you. I have projects of my own to work on anyway.”

  “Does that mean I have your support?” Agnes asked.

  “Definitely. When did you want to start?”

  “No time like the present. We can do fittings for anyone who’s interested in the tailoring service and then host the knitting circle afterward.”

  “I’ll speak to the shop owner. I suspect she won’t care about cost at a time like this, but when the wireless comes back online, I can pay for this out of my own account.”

  “You’re practically the first lady of Burnt Aber. She’ll extend credit,” Agnes predicted.

  Joss…did not hate hearing that. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Let’s do this in the cafeteria, shall we? It’s nice and bright in there. I’ll make an announcement after I secure supplies.”

  Breathless, Joss ran all the way to the store, where she explained their idea to the startled proprietor. As the older woman had predicted, the owner let Joss take all her knitting-related supplies on credit. Once she delivered them in several trips, she dashed to the security office to make the announcement.

  It truly does help to stay busy.

  Twenty people showed up to have their donated clothing adjusted in some way, and five more came to learn how to knit, most of them young parents who wanted to make something for their children. “Like this?” one mother asked.

  She’d made the slipknot and had the first rows of what was likely to be a scarf for her little one, though if she got carried away, it could be a blanket as well. Joss nodded. “It’s going to be beautiful.”

  “I’ve never made anything for her before.” The woman brushed away a tear. “It seemed like there wasn’t enough time. And now that’s all I have.”

  Joss rested her hand briefly on the other woman’s shoulder, then she circulated and made sure everyone was making good progress. Satisfied with how well the class was catching on, she settled in with her own project. From across the room, Ages caught her eye and smiled.

  The afternoon went quickly as Joss worked on Callum’s sweater. This felt almost like a mystical ritual. Now that she’d remembered her plan to make this, if she worked on it with enough devotion, the orderly loops and cables could keep him safe out there.

  She stopped only long enough to perform at the club and then she went right back to work, knitting until her hands hurt, until her fingers felt like they might snap. With a groan, she finally took a break and studied what she had created. Right now, it didn’t look like much but sweaters took a fair amount of finishing. At least the yarn was soft and pretty, a lovely green that would look fantastic on Callum. That was why she’d randomly asked his favorite color.

  Just thinking his name made her breath catch as feelings she’d suppressed all day long nearly overwhelmed her. Where are you right now? Are you safe? He must be exhausted and starving and frightened, but was the news even worse?

  I’m doing as you asked, I am, but it’s so hard. I want to be where you are.

  A tap sounded at the door, just the tears were about to overflow. “Come in,” she called. The door wasn’t locked. She only turned the bolt when Callum was in here with her, and she didn’t want to be interrupted.

  Jere stepped inside with a sheet of paper. “I think I’ve deciphered this message correctly but I wanted to check with you.”

  “Is it from Pru?” Joss raced over and snatched the page with such excitement that it veered toward rudeness. “Sorry, I’m just eager to see.”

  “No worries. Just check my work?”

  Skimming the message, Joss confirmed that Jere did indeed have the cipher memorized, reading the message aloud. “Spent days pleading. Called Alastor, Raff, and Thalia. Finally got results. Sending reinforcements. Need coordinates for safe passage.” Pru was most likely asking for the route to Burnt Amber because of the mines, but Callum desperately needed troops elsewhere.

  When she realized that salvation was within reach, but she had no means of deploying the lifeline, she cursed as she never had in her life.

  Callum hadn’t slept more than a few hours in days.

  All his people were burned to the bone, and some couldn’t even hold bear form any longer. Their wounds weren’t healing either, a sure sign that they’d exhausted their resources. They’d lost a hundred of their own in hit and run strikes, Garven among them, but so far, the Gols hadn’t found their secret shelter at the hot spring. It was a beautiful place in the foothills of the mountains that rose to the north, rocky and bleak but also majestic with two natural pools. Callum feared it might also become a mass grave.

  They’d just completed another successful raid and eaten enough raw fish from the river nearby to keep death at bay a little longer. We can’t last, he thought.

  The ones who followed him had given everything to this fight, but they were outnumbered and the will t
o survive was waning in some of them. After days of privation, it wasn’t a weakness to want the hurting to stop. For the first time, he understood Win, on a level he never thought possible. It was nothing to do with love at all, in the end. Because he adored Joss with every fiber of his being, but the anguish of exhaustion, uncertainty, hunger, and fear of violent death had him nearly ready to end life on his own terms.

  On this bleak note, he drifted off, curled up against stones warmed by the hot spring. That was his chief comfort, and Callum almost didn’t want to wake. Especially not when the dream began. He didn’t have the energy for a sexual fantasy, so when Joss came to him, he hugged her and closed his eyes, grateful to his mind for providing this much comfort. She smelled so clean, raspberries and lemon, warm skin with a whisper of soap, and her hair, it smelled like his own shampoo.

  “Feels so good,” he whispered. “I’m so glad I got to see you one more time.”

  To his surprise, she rapped on his forehead instead of snuggling against him. “No, listen. This is important. You have to tell me where you are. I’ve been trying to contact you for hours. I figured if we could share a sex dream, we could connect for other reasons too. Do you hear me?”

  The dream-Joss seemed quite agitated, entirely insistent. Confused, he eased back to stare at her. “Are you…real? I mean, we’re truly talking?”

  “Yes! This is critical, Callum. I need your location to send reinforcements. Pru came through, but it will take time for them to get there. So, I repeat, where the hell are you right now?”

  On the off chance that this wasn’t a self-inflicted practical joke, enacted by the worst intersection of hope and his unconscious mind, he answered, “At the hot spring, twenty kilometers north of the factory. But we’ve taken losses, there are wounded without the wherewithal to heal and little food to be found. I don’t know if we can last until help arrives.”

  “Then come home,” Joss ordered.

  How he wished it was that simple. The pain of this admission nearly overwhelmed him. “If we retreat, they slaughter another settlement. Our presence is saving lives, even when we’re not fighting. Wish things could be different, love. We didn’t have nearly long enough together.”

  I’m not the one who can lead others to victory. I’m no hero.

  “Dammit, don’t you dare give up.”

  “I’m so tired.” He didn’t know if he said or thought it, but they were sharing dream space and she knew, just how close he was to the breaking point.

  Tears flooded her voice, trickled down her cheeks. Was Joss crying in her sleep? He longed to hold her for real.

  “Whatever it takes, I need you to stay safe until reinforcements arrive. Promise me.”

  “I won’t surrender, kit.” That wasn’t the same as pledging to stay safe, but that wasn’t a vow he could make under the circumstances.

  When he moved to kiss her tear-stained cheeks, she evaporated, and he woke feeling more alert than he had in days, as if she’d transferred some of her energy. Callum spun in a slow circle, assessing the terrain. The hot spring was protected by a narrow approach, bubbling up out of the mountain. He knew of no other route unless the Gols came from above and they didn’t have air support. If the bears blocked the path, they could keep the Gols frustrated on the other side for a while. The meat they’d hunted wouldn’t last long, but if help didn’t arrive soon, it would be over anyway.

  Am I really doing this?

  Possibly they could keep up the hit and run strategy for a little longer, but the weary, spent soldiers who were now naked and helpless would be the first to die, and the Gols would take pleasure in obliterating them in payment for those the bears had killed.

  I’m really doing this. I’m trusting in Joss. He’d said she was the only goddess he acknowledged, so it was fitting that they’d make their last stand based on words she spoke in a dream.

  Listen up, he called. I’ve had a vision…and this is what we must do.

  When he finished outlining his plan, at first there was only shocked silence. Then Trini said, you’re claiming the goddess told you we can win here?

  That wasn’t exactly the case, but if they needed to believe that, so be it.

  This is where we’re meant to make our last stand, he replied.

  Which wasn’t entirely an answer.

  I need your group working on those rocks. Start a landslide if you can and blockade the path. We finish the fight here. The Gols will think we’re cornered, but in fact, we’re luring them into a trap.

  And we’re the bait, Emilia muttered.

  But…they listened. En masse, they shoved at the cliffside and that many bears working in tandem? Boulders fell. More followed. Until there was an impressive rock barricade that wouldn’t permit anyone in or out without significant labor. Soon, the Gols would find their trail and they’d track them here. Callum was counting on that.

  Once the blockade was built, he inspected the area thoroughly, even delving into the hotter of the two pools. Near the bottom, he found a hidden underwater cavern accessible only through the hot spring. After coming up for air, he took a deep breath and dove, paddling with all his strength through the tunnel. He emerged, fur dripping water, in a mysterious chamber that seemed to have been used for ritual purposes, so long ago that there were no metal tools. With awe, he padded around, examining bits of broken pottery and an obsidian blade. There was a stone altar, carved with sigils. His breath caught when he recognized ancient signs sacred to the goddess. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Deeper in, there was a complex warren full of bats, guano, and edible lichens. Past that, he found a freshwater pool full of cave fish, and those they could consume safely. He would send the weakest of his people, those who lacked the energy to shift, to rest and eat. The bats carried disease, but the lichens and fish could keep them alive.

  Thank you. Callum had no idea whether he was addressing the goddess he had served as a monk or Joss, who had saved him in the dream. Maybe all women carried a spark of the divine.

  By the time he emerged, the troops were gathered around the edge of the pool in fearful silence, possibly debating what they’d do if he drowned. Emilia huffed with relief when he padded out, wet but whole.

  I found shelter. Food too, if you care to catch it or scrape it off the walls. Let the weakest among us go first. Help them swim through as needed. The rest of us will remain on watch.

  The cliffs protect us, Trini said. Almost as well as the walls at Burnt Amber. I may be able to rig some rock traps that will trigger when the Gols approach.

  It seemed unlikely that aid would get here before the enemy, as they had much farther to travel. They would need to weather a siege, somehow. But for the first time since he’d left the order, he felt suffused in peace that came from faith.

  Do it if you can. For us, the war ends here, one way or another.

  27.

  Joss woke with tears drying on her cheeks, exhausted but elated.

  She hardly had the energy to get dressed, like the dream had drained her. The exchange was worth it, if she’d truly managed to contact Callum. She had to operate as if it was, and once she had clothes on, she rushed to the conference room, mentally composing her response to Pru, who damn well better be waiting on standby. The battle is here. Coordinates follow. Rally here first, meet you there. Thanks, cousin. Quickly, she encoded the message and sent it, then she paced the room for half an hour.

  At last the reply came. Understood. Eighteen hours. Can’t be there sooner. Others may arrive faster; some will take longer. No thanks needed. You would do the same for me.

  It made sense that reinforcements would reach them in shifts, depending on the distance they had to cover. The wolves should be here first since they shared a border with Callum, a bit longer for Pru’s group, and even longer for Alastor, who must be coming from Hallowell. He had been mopping up pockets of resistance near the city from what she’d heard. Joss knew how long it took in a vehicle to get here from Daruvar, but she didn’t know where Raff
and Thalia were now. If they’d relocated to Pine Ridge, they might get here first.

  Mentally, she calculated. I need to leave in six hours to reach the rally point. Maybe they could all find the hot spring site on their own, but Joss memorized the map and she’d feel better if she was there, maybe not to fight, but to make sure those forces found Callum.

  That day, she went about business as usual and touched base with Jere, filling them in on what was happening. She conducted the tailoring and the knitting circle for the second time, but when everyone filed out, she touched Agnes’s arm. “You’ll need to carry on without me tomorrow.”

  “Are you going somewhere, dear?”

  Joss nodded. “I’ll be back with Callum in a few days.”

  Or not at all.

  “Then take care of yourself. And him. He’s not an easy one to love.”

  “Love doesn’t have to be easy,” Joss snapped.

  Agnes only smiled. “And it rarely is. All things worth having are worth fighting for. But I believe you understand that quite well already.”

  In a way, it felt like she was wrapping up her life at Burnt Amber. If gods forbid, she lost Callum, she’d never return here. And if she came back with him, their lives would be different in peacetime, a blessing she couldn’t believe in yet, though she wanted to. How would their days look? Their nights, she could picture in sweaty, glorious detail, and a flicker of arousal quivered through her.

  This is not the time.

  As her time ran down, Joss searched for Renna and found her entertaining the children with original stories. She waited until the other woman finished and then she asked, “May I hug you?”

  Renna tilted her head, visibly startled. “What brought this on?”

  “I’m leaving tonight. There’s something I need to do.”

  Jere had suggested she keep the arrival of the other forces quiet because they feared that if something went wrong or the reinforcements were delayed, the dashing of raised hope would be more painful than an already wounded populace could bear. She agreed that it was better to announce a certain outcome later, when everyone could celebrate.