Her Silent Burden_Seeing Ranch series

by Florence Linnington

  “I feel like the most awful mother in the world,” Rosalie admitted.

  Thea gave her a sympathetic look. “I am sure every mother feels that way at one time or another.”

  Rosalie looked at the sleeping baby. Aria’s head rested on Thea’s shoulder, one fist curled up beneath her chin. In her beautiful dream world, no problems existed.

  If Rosalie’s own baby did not return, what would she do? How could she possibly be expected to go on living?

  Rosalie bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying out.

  A noise on the other side of the front door made both women look over. The door opened, and in came Noah and Jacob.

  In the blink of an eye, Rosalie was across the room and pulling Jacob into her arms. She squeezed him so hard he gasped for breath.

  Drawing back slightly, Rosalie grasped his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye.

  “What were you thinking?” she demanded, each word louder than the last. “Where did you go? Why did you run away?”

  She was screaming, but she did not care. She wanted to shout until her lungs gave out.

  “I’m sorry, Mother.” Jacob’s bottom lip trembled, and tears filled his eyes.

  Rosalie was stunned. He had not cried like that in a long time. Not since he was very little.

  Tears cascaded down Rosalie’s cheeks, and she pulled Jacob into another, this time softer, hug. The room was quiet as she held him.

  Eventually, though she did not want to, Rosalie let Jacob go. She looked past him, to Noah, who stood by the closed door, his hat in his hands.

  Gratitude hit Rosalie like a tidal wave.

  “Thank you,” she told Noah fervently.

  He nodded. He would never know just how grateful she was, though. There were no words.

  Thea stood and came over to them. “I am glad you are home, Jacob. It appears I should be going.”

  “I’ll take you home,” Noah told her.

  Rosalie caught his eye. Come back, she mouthed.

  He gave her a firm nod.

  “Good night, Rosalie,” Thea said, using her free arm to squeeze Rosalie’s hand.

  The door closed, and Rosalie looked to Jacob. He’d dropped his rucksack on the floor and hung his hat up. Though his tears had stopped falling, his eyes glistened with wetness.

  “Oh, Jacob.” Rosalie collapsed into a chair and covered her face with her hands. “Why?”

  “I’m sorry, Mother.” Jacob took the seat next to her.

  The urge to outright sob from relief filled Rosalie, but she fought against it and dropped her hands.

  “Where were you planning on going?”

  “I dunno.” Jacob hung his head, and an unexpected tenderness grabbed hold of Rosalie. Reaching over, she ran her hand over his head. His hair was thicker than it used to be but still silky. In some ways, he was still her baby, but in other ways, he was becoming a young man.

  “Is this because of Noah?” Rosalie asked.

  “It was.” Jacob twisted his lips. “But then he talked to me, and he… well…. I’m just sorry, Mother.” His chin began to tremble again.

  Before either one of them could start crying again, Rosalie pulled him into her arms. He was too big to fit in her lap anymore, so she settled with holding him close.

  “I forgive you, Jacob,” she said into his hair.

  Jacob drew back. “I messed the play up.”

  Rosalie sucked in a breath and held it. “You’re going to have to apologize to all your classmates.”

  “I know,” he glumly said.

  “The play was postponed. Everyone worked very hard on it, and they would be disappointed to have it canceled.”

  Jacob nodded his hanging head.

  “Are you hungry?” Rosalie asked.

  “No. I packed all the jerky and ate some while I was walking.” Jacob said as he nodded toward his rucksack.

  “Right.” Rosalie ran her palm over the top of his head. Now that she knew he was all right, she was exhausted and found she only wanted to be alone for a while.

  “Go wash up and get into bed then,” she told him. “It’s late, and we can talk about this more tomorrow.”

  “Yes, Mother.” Jacob stopped at his bedroom doorway. “Is Noah coming back here?”

  Rosalie had completely forgotten she asked him to do just that. “I do not know,” she slowly said. “But you need to go to bed.”

  He nodded, the most obedient he’d been in weeks, and went into his room and closed the door.

  The instant she was alone, Rosalie clasped her hands, lowered her face, and thanked God for bringing Jacob back. She wasn’t done praying, though. Her son was home, and he’d apologized, but that didn’t mean things would be any different.

  Please help us, God, Rosalie added. Amen.

  No sooner had she unlaced her fingers then there was a soft knock on the front door. Standing, she went and touched her hand to the knob.

  “Yes?”

  “It’s me,” Noah said through the wood.

  Rosalie opened the door and fell right into his arms. He welcomed her instantly, his broad chest pressing against her face and his cheek resting on the top of her head.

  Blinking away tears, Rosalie stepped back. “Thank you.”

  Noah nodded and closed the door.

  Rosalie pulled her shoulders back. It wasn’t that she couldn’t bear to be emotional in front of Noah. She’d done enough falling apart for the night and didn’t want to indulge in it anymore.

  “Mrs. Briggs arrived home all right?” she asked.

  “Mm-hmm. Wakefield was already there. He’d stopped in for a minute just to see if we’d found Jacob yet.”

  “Good.” Needing something to do Rosalie went to the cook stove. “Would you like some tea?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Coffee? Heating up water will be no problem. She lit the stove earlier, and the embers are still hot.”

  “Rosalie.”

  Noah’s voice was firm, making Rosalie turn and look at him. “What?” she asked.

  “All I’d like is to hold you again.”

  There was something so innocent and sweet about the statement--and about his face--that Rosalie actually found herself laughing. Going back to Noah, she hugged him tight. The heat grew between them, and she forced herself to take a seat at the table. Noah was not her husband. She needed to be mindful of her behavior around him.

  “He was walking to the train station,” Noah said, taking his own seat at the table.

  Rosalie sighed. When she glanced at Jacob’s closed door, Noah did the same.

  “He said he didn’t know where he was going,” Noah said, his voice quieter this time, “only that he wanted to get away.”

  Rosalie chewed on her bottom lip. “It appears he did hear our conversation.”

  Noah inclined his head in acknowledgment. “And he observed the last month.”

  Rosalie interlaced her fingers on top of the table. An awful feeling was rising in her, thanks to a growing idea. Did she dare share it with Noah? Did she have that kind of courage?

  “I never imagined he would do something like this,” Rosalie said. “I knew he was unhappy, but…” Rosalie choked over her words, unable to go on.

  Noah reached across the table, putting his hand on top of the two of hers. “He’s sorry, Rosalie.”

  “I know he is, but it is the matter of him doing it in the first place, Noah. Of him reaching the point where he felt it was okay to run away…” Rosalie shook her head in despair. “I did something wrong with him. Perhaps I was foolish to think that I…”

  “That you what?”

  Looking at Noah was the hardest thing in the world, but Rosalie forced herself to do it. Goodness, he was so handsome. So strong. So kind.

  A man who was one in a million, surely.

  But Rosalie could not think about those things. She had to remain firm, to remember why she was doing this.

  “You and I must stop seeing each other, Noah,�
�� she said. “It is what will be best for my family.”

  Noah’s eyes went wide with disbelief.

  “I know,” she said. “I do not want to do this, but I must. I need to reassess what I am doing. Clearly, Jacob needs my attention. We have gone so long without a man in our lives, it is a shock. I am sorry.”

  Rosalie sucked in a breath and held it. Pain buzzed through her, so strong she felt she would be sick. Still, Noah silently looked at her, his eyes wide orbs and his hand on hers. How she wished he would say something. Anything would be better than the silence.

  “Noah?” she prompted.

  “Did Jacob not talk with you?”

  Rosalie frowned. “We talked some, yes.”

  “But did he say anything about you and I?”

  It seemed he was attempting to lead Rosalie to some kind of understanding, but she could not comprehend what that might be.

  “Not really,” Rosalie said. “What are you trying to tell me?”

  “Rosalie, Jacob agreed to come home because I told him the truth. I told him I love the both of you and that I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

  Rosalie blinked, her tongue heavy and her head fuzzy. “Oh.”

  “And then I asked him for his permission to ask for your hand in marriage,” Noah continued. “And he gave it to me.”

  “Oh,” Rosalie repeated. Though they’d had a conversation about the nature of their relationship earlier that day, this new turn, especially coming so quickly on the tail of her feeling she needed to end their courtship, left her stunned.

  “Jacob and I made our own commitment to each other,” Noah said. “I told him that I’ll be there for him… and now I’d like to also promise to always be there for you.”

  He levelled his gaze, and it seemed as if he looked right into her soul. Rosalie’s heart fluttered, and she worked to find her voice.

  “Is this right?” she asked.

  “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “Because only an hour ago everything was so… wrong.”

  Noah nodded in understanding. “But do you believe what I’m telling you?”

  “That’s why he was so apologetic,” Rosalie breathed, suddenly understanding.

  “How so?”

  “He wouldn’t stop saying he was sorry. I’ve never seen him so regretful.”

  Noah grinned. “So what does that tell you? Doesn’t it prove that things changed tonight?”

  Rosalie stared at him. “Is this truly happening?”

  “Not until I put a ring on your finger, it’s not.”

  “Noah, I don’t need an engagement…”

  But he was already pulling a ring box out of his pocket.

  Rosalie kept on gaping. “Have you been walking around with that?”

  “I rode home after seeing Thea and Aria home and fetched it real quick.”

  Noah opened the box, revealing a sparkling diamond ring.

  “It was my mother’s,” Noah explained.

  “Oh, Noah,” Rosalie murmured. She wanted to fall into his arms, to accept the proposal and ring and never regret it… but there was something still holding her back.

  “I can’t do this without hearing the truth straight from Jacob’s mouth,” she said.

  “All right.” Noah straightened up in his chair. “We can remedy that right away, because he’s still awake.”

  “What?”

  “Jacob,” Noah called.

  There was a moment of quiet, and then Jacob’s door slowly creeped opened. Dressed in his pajamas, he entered the main room.

  “I heard him moving around in there,” Noah said when Rosalie looked at him suspiciously. Then looked at Jacob. “You’re not as quiet as you think you are, son.”

  “Jacob,” Rosalie admonished.

  Instead of looking ashamed, Jacob turned his pleading gaze on her. “Do it, Mother. Noah is telling the truth. We talked, and I… I like what he said. I should very much like a father, and I want it to be Noah.”

  Rosalie’s mouth fell open.

  “What did I tell you?” Noah grinned.

  Rosalie took turns staring at the both of them. “So you two have been conspiring behind my back?”

  “I wouldn’t call it that,” Noah said.

  Jacob put his hand on Rosalie’s shoulder. “Mother?”

  Noah still held the ring box open. Glancing quickly at the diamond ring, Rosalie looked at Noah’s face in the candlelight. No more thinking was necessary. She had her answer ready to go.

  “Yes,” she said. “I would love to marry you.”

  “All right!” Jacob shouted, throwing his fist into the air and jumping up and down.

  Wearing the biggest smile Rosalie had ever seen on him, Noah took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her left hand. She turned her fingers sideways, allowing the diamond to catch the candlelight.

  “It looks perfect on you,” Noah said. “What do you think, Jacob?”

  “Wonderful,” Jacob confirmed.

  Rosalie let out a gasp of pleasure. For not the first time on that dramatic day, words absolutely failed her.

  “I never expected this,” she said once she finally managed to find her voice.

  “Getting married again?” Noah asked.

  Rosalie bit her bottom lip, tears of joy flowing. “No, finding this kind of happiness.”

  “Well, it’s right here,” Noah answered. “Me and Jacob, we’re your men. We got you till the end of time.”

  Laughing in exultation, Rosalie wrapped one arm around Jacob and one arm around Noah. The moment felt like a dream. Not only had Jacob been returned to her, but he’d come back happy. He’d come back believing in her and Noah.

  All the riches in the world could not replace what Rosalie now had: a happy child and a wonderful man. She had come to Wyoming looking for a change, looking for adventure. What she’d found was the joy of fairytales.

  Chapter 17

  hello

  17. Noah

  Chapter seventeen

  Somehow, the past month had been the slowest of Noah’s life. It didn’t matter that he saw Rosalie and Jacob every day. Going home to his apartment alone every evening was what got to him.

  But, finally, the wait was over. It was his wedding day, and that night he’d be moving in with his new family.

  Noah straightened his bow tie for the tenth or so time and frowned at his reflection in the mirror. “Darn thing is broken.”

  Wakefield chuckled, tossed his newspaper on the floor of Noah’s almost-empty apartment, and came to take a look. “Let’s see.”

  Wakefield attempted to retie it, but his efforts didn’t make much of a difference.

  “You’re right,” Wakefield agreed. “It’s broken. Luckily, Rosalie isn’t marrying you for your sense of dress.”

  “But aside from that do I look all right, otherwise?”

  Wakefield looked Noah over. “Perfect. You ready?”

  “Absolutely,” Noah answered.

  “Now is the bride ready?” Wakefield said as they walked down the stairs. “That’s the real question.”

  Together, they crossed the road and made their way to the clearing across the way. There was still no church, but Noah didn’t care. He wanted to marry outdoors in the bright sunshine, where he could see every inch of Rosalie’s perfect face.

  The guests were already assembled, half of them sitting on the stumps and the other half standing around talking. As Noah passed them, men shook his hand and women kissed him on the cheek. With each step to the wedding altar he and Wakefield made, his excitement grew.

  Today was his wedding day. And it had only been a couple months before that he’d been standing around wishing for a woman to come into his life.

  Not once had the shortness of the engagement worried Noah. Wakefield was engaged to Thea before they even met, and he knew right when he saw his future bride that he’d made a good decision.

  Without a doubt, Noah was of the same mind. Rosalie and Jacob were his family. They’d bee
n meant to come to Whiteridge and enter his life, and not a day went by where Noah didn’t thank God for His gift.