“Nonsense,” Kate said shaking her head. “You’ve already moved once; you might as well stay put.” Jessica wondered what she meant by this statement, but the conversation moved along so quickly that she never had a chance to ask.
“Katie and I would be happy just about any place you put us,” Buck stated. “I think those two sitting rooms are just perfect for us. It would eliminate running up and down all those stairs, and what with my rheumatism acting up from time to time, that would be enough to motivate the move on my part.”
“Buck, you should have told me you were having trouble,” Jessica countered. “I would have seen to it that you and Kate were moved long ago had I known.”
“The exercise does us good,” Kate said. “But I agree with Buck and Devon. Moving us downstairs into those back rooms would be perfect. That way, you and Ryan can have the full run of the third floor. You can set things up differently or keep it the way we have it. Either way, Ryan will have more room to run around, and there’s a door to keep him from heading down the stairs when you don’t want him to get away from you.”
Jessica laughed. “No doubt he’ll figure doors out soon enough.”
“I think we could safely conclude,” Devon said, pointing to a rough drawing he’d made of the house, “that we could have six rooms to offer to guests. We could even offer the bunkhouse’s extra beds if someone wanted to come out and truly experience the life of a ranch hand. Those articles Jessica brought from back East said that some folks actually pay money to be abused that way.”
He grinned and poked Buck lightly in the ribs. “A drafty room, work from sunup to sundown, dirt and grit everywhere, and the smell of sweat and horses and cattle—yes Sir, that’s the kind of stuff I want to pay out good money to experience.”
“You get to experience it for free,” Jessica chided.
“But when we’re back on our feet, I expect to be paid,” Devon replied, looking at her in a way that made Jessica’s pulse quicken. Oh, but he was handsome. She loved the way the summer sun had lightened his hair and tanned his face.
“I doubt that will happen for awhile. Every dime we make is going to have to go back into making the ranch successful again.”
“I wasn’t necessarily talking about being paid in money,” Devon said, his lips curling into a grin.
Buck snorted, and Kate turned away, but not before Jessica saw her smiling. They were all so conspiratorial in their teasing, and sometimes Jessica felt oddly left out. She had come onto the scene after they were all good friends, and sometimes it made her feel very uncomfortable. Like they all knew a good joke and refused to tell her.
“Well, it’s getting late,” Buck said, getting up from his chair. “I suspect Katie and I should retire for the evening. You two going to church in the morning?”
“Planning on it. I figured to drive Jessica and Ryan. You two need a lift?”
“No,” Buck answered. “I figure on preaching a bit myself. Those ranch hands of ours need to get some religion now and then. What with the fact that it’ll soon be time to herd those prime steers of ours to market, I figure on giving them a couple of pointers on staying out of trouble.”
Kate joined Buck, leaving Devon and Jessica alone in the front parlor. “See you both tomorrow. I figure on frying up a mess of chicken for the hands and for us as well. Anything else you’re hungry for?”
Devon grinned. “How about some of your famous raspberry cream cake?”
Jessica threw Kate a quizzical look. “I don’t think I’ve ever had that. Do you mean to tell me I’ve been here almost a year and never once had the opportunity to taste your ‘famous’ raspberry cream cake?”
Kate laughed. “It’s only famous to Devon. But sure, I’ll fix us up some. The raspberries came on real good this year. I’ll bet those bushes down by the main springs are still bearing fruit.
“Maybe Jess and I could pick some for you after church tomorrow,” Devon offered.
“Maybe you could just speak for yourself,” Jessica added in mock ire.
“You two can work it out,” Kate replied as Buck slipped his arm around her waist. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When they’d gone, Jessica turned back to find Devon still grinning at her. “What?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re looking at me oddly,” Jessica replied. She liked the way he was looking at her but refused to allow herself to show it. Devon’s weekly trips into Cottonwood Falls had convinced her that he had a girlfriend in town. She tried not to think about it, but it bothered her nevertheless.
Devon chuckled and got up from his chair. “How about a stroll to the ridge? The moon is full, and the air warm.”
“I can’t,” Jessica replied nervously. She was desperately afraid of being alone for too long with Devon. Just thinking about the ride into town for church caused her stomach to do flips.
“Why not?”
“Well, I should stay close to the house in case Ryan needs me.”
“Guess that makes sense. So how about just coming out on the porch with me? The upstairs windows are open. You’ll be able to hear him if he cries.”
Jessica realized that she’d either have to be rude and refuse or go along with the plan. “All right. Maybe for a little bit. Then I need to go to bed.”
He nodded and allowed her to lead the way to the front door. Neither one said another word until they were out on the porch. Devon and Buck had made some wonderful chairs and a couple benches, and it was to one of the latter that Devon motioned Jessica to follow him.
Nervously licking her lips, Jessica joined Devon on the bench. She put herself at the far edge of the seat, hoping Devon would take the hint and sit at the opposite end. He didn’t, however, choosing instead to position himself right in the middle of the bench.
“It’s a fine night,” he said. Suddenly he jumped up. “Say, wait here. I have a surprise.”
Jessica couldn’t imagine what he had in mind, but she obediently nodded and watched as he bounded down the porch steps and disappeared around the side of the house. When he returned, he was carrying a guitar.
“I didn’t know you played,” she said in complete surprise.
“I just got started last winter. I’ve been taking lessons in town from Old Mr. Wiedermeier. That man can pick up anything and make music with it.”
Jessica smiled as she wondered if it was this, and not a woman, that had been taking Devon to town on Friday evenings. It made her heart a little lighter, and she suddenly found herself quite eager to hear Devon play.
He began tuning the strings, strumming one and then another, then comparing the two to each other. When he finally had all six in agreeable harmony, he began strumming out a melody that Jessica instantly recognized.
“Why that sounds like ‘O Worship the King.’ ”
Devon laughed. “That’s good. It’s supposed to.” He played a few more bars.
“Do you sing as well?”
“I don’t know about how well I do it, but I do sing.” He didn’t wait for her to ask but instead began to harmonize with the guitar. Devon’s rich baritone rang out against the stillness of the night and stirred Jessica’s heart. How lovely to sit on the porch in the warmth of late summer and listen to Devon sing. She could easily picture herself doing this for many years to come. Seeing it in her mind, she imagined herself married to Devon with four or five children gathered round them. It made a pleasant image to carry in her heart.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a look of contentment on your face, Miss Jessica,” Devon drawled.
Jessica realized she’d just been caught daydreaming. “I was just thinking about something.”
Devon put the guitar aside and moved closer to Jessica. “I’ve been doing some thinking too. There’s something I want to say to you.”
Just then, the sound of Ryan crying reached Jessica’s ears. “Oh, that’s Ryan. I guess I’d better go.”
Devon looked at her with such an expression of frustration and disappointment that Jessica very nearly sat back down. But her own nervousness held her fast. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she paused as if trying to decide whether or not she should say the rest, “and we can talk on the way to church.”
With that she hurried upstairs, anxious and curious about what Devon might have had to tell her. Perhaps she was wrong about his trips into town. Maybe there was more than just the guitar lesson. Maybe her earlier feelings of Devon meeting up with a lady friend were more on target than she wanted to imagine.
By the time she’d reached Ryan, he’d fallen back to sleep and lay contentedly sucking his thumb. Jessica tidied his covers, gently touched his cheek with her fingers, and went back to her own room.
“There’s something I want to say to you,” Devon had said. The words were still ringing in her ears.
What could he possibly need to say?
❧
Devon knew nothing but frustration that Sunday morning. He’d barely slept a wink the night before, and now the horses were uncooperative as he tried to ready the buckboard wagon. He knew it wouldn’t be nearly as comfortable for Jessica and Ryan, but there were supplies he’d been unable to bring home on Friday night, and he’d need this opportunity to get them safely home before he headed to Kansas City with the sale cattle.
He kept rethinking what he’d nearly said to Jessica the night before. It should have been simple. Jessica was a widow going on two years, and by her own declaration she’d never loved her husband. It seemed more than enough time to put the past behind her and deal with Devon’s interests.
“Say, after church you might want to ask Joe Riley if he still wants to buy that acreage on the western boundaries of Windridge,” Buck said as he came into the barn. He saw the difficulty Devon was having and immediately went to work to see the task completed.
“I’ll do that,” Devon said absentmindedly. “I’ll ask Jessica if she’s still of a mind to sell. You know how angry she gets when we try to second-guess her.”
“Still, she’s a good-hearted woman,” Buck replied.
“Yeah, I know that well enough,” Devon muttered.
“You ain’t gonna let that little gal get away from you, are you? There’s plenty of fellows down at that church who’d give their right arms to be able to spend time with Jessie the way you do.”
“For all the good it does.”
“You feeling sorry for yourself, Son?” Buck questioned. “That doesn’t hardly seem like you.”
“Not sure I even know what’s like me anymore,” Devon admitted. He took hold of the horses’ harnesses and led the two matched geldings from the barn. “I wouldn’t have been of a mind to turn this place into a dude ranch ten months ago, but look at me now.”
“You just see the wisdom in it,” Buck replied. “Besides, ranching and courting are two different things. I know you have feelings for Jessie. Why not just tell her and let the chips fall where they will?”
“I tried to say something last night, but—”
“Here we are,” Jessica announced, coming down the steps with Kate and Ryan directly behind her. Jessica stashed a small bag of necessities behind the wagon seat, then beamed Devon a smile that nearly broke his heart. How could a woman look so pretty and not even realize what she did to a fellow? She had a face like an angel. Long dark lashes, delicately arched brows. A straight little nose that turned up ever so slightly at the end, and lips so full and red that Devon was hard-pressed not to steal a kiss.
“We’re all ready. Say, why are we taking the buckboard?” Jessica asked, letting Buck help her up onto the seat. She reached down and lifted Ryan from Kate’s arms.
“Devon’s picking up some supplies that came in on Friday. He didn’t have the wagon with him when he went into town Friday night, so he secured them at the train station until he could pick them up today.”
“No doubt someone will frown on his toting home necessities on the Lord’s Day,” Kate murmured. “But if we don’t get some flour and sugar soon, not to mention coffee, we’ll have a mutiny on our hands.”
“No one will think anything about it,” Devon said, climbing up to sit beside Jessica. The buckboard seat was very narrow and pushed the two people very close together. Devon could smell her perfume. “If they have a problem with it, they can answer to me.” With that he smacked the reins against the backs of the geldings.
The trip into town passed by before Devon and Jessica could get past discussing how they were going to renovate the house for their guests. Jessica had all manner of thoughts on the matter, and it seemed she and Kate had made some definite decisions. Each room would have a color theme with quilts and curtains to match. And guests would share breakfast together, which meant the extra extensions for the dining-room table would have to be located and additional chairs ordered to match the existing ones.
Church hardly presented itself as a place to explain his feelings. Devon went through the motions of worship and even managed to focus his attention on the sermon, but over and over he thought of how he might share his feelings with Jessica. He was due to leave with the cattle in little more than two weeks, yet so much needed his attention, and very little time would be afforded him for quiet, romantic talks.
After church, Devon loaded up the ranch supplies while Jessica fed Ryan. Fussy and cantankerous from a day of being cooped up, Ryan seemed to do his level best to make life difficult for his mother. Jessica said he was teething, and she had it on Kate’s authority that chewing a leather strap was the best thing to ease the pain. She’d brought one along just for this purpose and was trying to interest Ryan in chewing on it. Ryan just slapped at it and cried. Devon shook his head and finished securing two rolls of bailing wire before jumping up to take the reins.
“I imagine he’ll be a whole lot happier when we get home,” Devon suggested. He could see exasperation in Jessica’s expression.
“I suppose you’re right.”
“You want me to hold him awhile?” he asked, seeing Ryan push and squirm while crying at the top of his lungs.
To his surprise, Jessica shrugged, then handed the boy over. Ryan instantly calmed and took notice of Devon’s mustache. “Now, Partner, we’re going to have to have an understanding here. I’m driving this here wagon, and you’re going to have to help me.” He showed Ryan the leather reins, and immediately the boy put them in his mouth.
“No!” Jessica began, then shook her head and relaxed. “Oh, might as well let him. I found him eating dirt yesterday. Guess a little sweat and leather won’t hurt.”
Devon laughed. “It could be a whole lot worse.” He called to the horses and started them for home while Ryan played with the extra bit of reins.
Jessica watched them both for several moments, and Devon could sense she felt troubled by the situation. They rode in silence for several miles while Devon battled within himself. The selfish side of him wanted to just get his feelings out in the open—to express how he felt about Jessica and the boy he held on his lap. But the more humanitarian side of him figured it was only right to find out what was troubling Jessica.
“You’re mighty quiet. You going to tell me what it’s all about?” Devon finally worked up the nerve to ask.
Jessica looked at him blankly for a moment. Then he noticed there were tears in her eyes. She shook her head, sniffled, and looked away.
Ryan’s head began to nod, and Devon figured it the perfect excuse to draw her focus back to him. “I think someone’s about to fall asleep. You want to take him back?”
Jessica smoothed the lines of her emerald green suit and reached out for her son. Ryan went to her without protest, and Devon thought Jessica looked almost relieved. Sh
e cradled the boy in her arms, and Ryan willingly let her rock him back and forth. Within another mile or two, he’d fallen asleep without so much as a whimper.
Devon tried to figure out what Jessica’s display of emotions had been about. He’d never been around women for very long. Even his mother and sister, who now lived a world away in Tyler, Texas, always kept to themselves when emotional outbursts were at hand. His mother had always said such things were not to be shared with their menfolk, but Devon disagreed. He worried about those times when his mother went off to cry alone. His father always seemed to be away working one ranch or another, always someone else’s hired man. He seldom knew about his wife’s tears or needs, and Devon determined it would be different with him—mostly because he knew how painful it was for his mother to bear such matters alone.
He could remember the time when his younger brother, Danny, had still been alive. Pa had gone off to work on the Double J Ranch, hoping to earn extra money before the winter set in. Danny had contracted whooping cough and died within a week of their father’s departure. His mother had borne the matter with utmost grace and confidence. Devon tried to be the man of the house for her, supporting her at the funeral, seeing to her needs afterwards. But she would have no part of sharing her pain with him, and it hurt Devon deeply to be left out. When their father had returned, his mother had simply said, “We are only four now.” Nothing more was mentioned or discussed. At least not in front of Devon.
Unable to take the situation without pushing to understand, Devon looked over at Jessica. He watched her for a moment before saying, “Please tell me what’s bothering you.”
Jessica continued to stare straight ahead. Her expression suggested that she was strongly considering his request. Finally she answered. “It isn’t worth troubling you with.”
“How about letting me be the judge of that?”
They continued for nearly another ten minutes before Jessica finally answered. “I can’t hope that you would understand. It has to do with being a mother.”
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