Complete Works of Samuel Johnson

by Samuel Johnson

  With regard to these motives and designs, however artfully concealed, every lord in this assembly is yet at liberty to offer his conjectures; and therefore I shall venture to lay before you what has arisen in my mind, without pretending to have discovered absolute certainty, what such accomplished politicians have endeavoured to conceal.

  When I consider, my lords, the tendency of this bill, I find it calculated only for the propagation of diseases, the suppression of industry, and the destruction of mankind; I find it the most fatal engine that ever was pointed at a people, an engine by which those who are not killed will be disabled, and those who preserve their limbs, will be deprived of their senses.

  This bill, therefore, appears to be designed only to thin the ranks of mankind, and to disburden the world of the multitudes that inhabit it; and is, perhaps, the strongest proof of political sagacity that our new ministers have yet exhibited. They well know, my lords, that they are universally detested, and that wherever a Briton is destroyed, they are freed from an enemy; they have, therefore, opened the floodgates of gin upon the nation, that when it is less numerous, it may be more easily governed.

  Other ministers, my lords, who had not attained to so great a knowledge in the art of making war upon their country, when they found their enemies clamorous and bold, used to awe them with prosecutions and penalties, or destroy them like burglars, with prisons and gibbets. But every age, my lords, produces some improvement, and every nation, however degenerate, gives birth at some happy period of time to men of great and enterprising genius. It is our fortune to be witnesses of a new discovery in politicks; we may congratulate ourselves upon being contemporaries with those men who have shown that hangmen and halters are unnecessary in a state, and that ministers may escape the reproach of destroying their enemies, by inciting them to destroy themselves.

  This new method may, indeed, have upon different constitutions a different operation; it may destroy the lives of some, and the senses of others; but either of these effects will answer the purposes of the ministry, to whom it is indifferent, provided the nation becomes insensible, whether pestilence or lunacy prevails among them. Either mad or dead, the greatest part of the people must quickly be, or there is no hope of the continuance of the present ministry.

  For this purpose, my lords, what could have been invented more efficacious than an establishment of a certain number of shops at which poison may be vended; poison so prepared, as to please the palate while it wastes the strength, and to kill only by intoxication. From the first instant that any of the enemies of the ministry shall grow clamorous and turbulent, a crafty hireling may lead him to the ministerial slaughterhouse, and ply him with their wonder-working liquor, till he is no longer able to speak or think; and, my lords, no man can be more agreeable to our ministers than he that can neither speak nor think, except those who speak without thinking.

  But, my lords, the ministers ought to reflect, that though all the people of the present age are their enemies, yet they have made no trial of the temper and inclinations of posterity; our successours may be of opinions very different from ours; they may, perhaps, approve of wars on the continent, while our plantations are insulted, and our trade obstructed; they may think the support of the house of Austria of more importance to us than our own defence, and may, perhaps, so far differ from their fathers, as to imagine the treasures of Britain very properly employed in supporting the troops, and increasing the splendour of a foreign electorate.

  Since, therefore, it will not be denied by our ministers, that the affection and gratitude of posterity may atone for the obstinacy, blindness, and malice of the present age; since those measures which are now universally censured, may at some distant time be praised with equal unanimity; why, my lords, should they extend their vengeance to the succeeding generation? why should they endeavour to torture their limbs with pains, and load their lives with the guilt of their parents? why should they hinder that trade to which they must owe all the comforts which plenty affords? why should they endeavour to intercept their existence, or suffer them to exist only to be wretched?

  If I may once more declare my sentiments, my lords, I believe the ministers do not so much wish to debilitate the bodies as the understandings of posterity, nor so ardently desire a race of cripples as of fools. For cripples, my lords, can make no figure at a review, nor strut in a red coat with a tolerable grace; but fools are known by long experience to be the principal support of an army, since they are the only persons who are willing to pay it!

  Whatever, my lords, be the true reasons for which this bill is so warmly promoted, I think they ought, at least, to be deliberately examined; and, therefore, cannot think it consistent with our regard for the nation to suffer it to be precipitated into a law. The year, my lords, is not so far advanced, as that supplies may not be raised by some other method, if this should be rejected; nor do I think that we ought to consent to this, even though our refusal should hinder the supplies, since we have no right, for the sake of any advantage, however certain or great, to violate all the laws of heaven and earth, to doom thousands to destruction, and to fill the exchequer with the price of the lives of our fellow-subjects.

  Let us, therefore, my lords, not suffer ourselves to be driven forward with such haste as may hinder us from observing whither we are going; let us not be persuaded to precipitate our counsels by those who know that all delays will be detrimental to their designs, because delays may produce new information, and they are conscious that the bill will be less approved the more it is understood.

  But every reason which they can offer against the motion, is, in my opinion, a reason for it; and, therefore, I shall readily agree to postpone the clause, and no less readily to reject the bill.

  If, at last, reason and evidence are vain, if neither justice nor compassion can prevail, but the nation must be destroyed for the support of the government, let us at least, my lords, confine our assertions, in the preamble, to truth; let us not affirm that drunkenness is established by the advice or consent of the lords spiritual, since I am confident not one of them will so far contradict his own doctrine, as to vote for a bill which gives a sanction to one vice, and ministers opportunities and temptations to all others; and which, if it be not speedily repealed, will overflow the whole nation with a deluge of wickedness.

  Lord ISLAY next spoke to the effect following: — My lords, I have attended for a long time to the noble lord, not without some degree of uneasiness, as I think the manner in which he has treated the question neither consistent with the dignity of this assembly, nor with those rules which ought to be ever venerable, the great rules of reason and humanity. Yet being now arrived at a time of life in which the passions grow calm, and patience easily prevails over any sudden disgust or perturbation, I forbore to disconcert him, though I have known interruption produced by much slighter provocations.

  It is, my lords, in my opinion, a just maxim, that our deliberations can receive very little assistance from merriment and ridicule, and that truth is seldom discovered by those who are chiefly solicitous to start a jest. To convince the understanding, and to tickle the fancy, are purposes very different, and must be promoted by different means; nor is he always to imagine himself superiour in the dispute, who is applauded with the loudest laugh.

  To laugh, my lords, and to endeavour to communicate the same mirth to others, when great affairs are to be considered, is certainly to neglect the end for which we are assembled, and the reasons for which the privilege of debating was originally granted us. For doubtless, my lords, our honours and our power were not conferred upon us that we might be merry with the better grace, or that we might meet at certain times to divert ourselves with turning the great affairs of the nation to ridicule.

  But, my lords, still less defensible is this practice, when we are contriving the relief of misery, or the reformation of vice; when calamities are preying upon thousands, and the happiness not only of the present age, but of posterity, must depend upon our resolut
ions. He that can divert himself with the sight of misery, has surely very little claim to the great praise of humanity and tenderness; nor can he be justly exempted from the censure of increasing evils, who wastes in laughter and jocularity that time in which he might relieve them.

  The bill now before us has been represented by those that oppose it, as big with destruction, and dangerous both to the lives and to the virtue of the people. We have been told, that it will at once fill the land with sickness and with villany, and that it will be at the same time fatal to our trade, and to our power; yet those who are willing to be thought fearful of all these evils, and ardently desirous of averting them from their country, cannot without laughter mention the bill which they oppose, or enumerate the consequences which they dread from it, in any other language than that of irony and burlesque.

  Surely, my lords, such conduct gives reason for questioning either their humanity, or their sincerity; for if they really fear such dreadful calamities, how can they be at leisure for mirth and gaiety I How can they sport over the grave of millions, and indulge their vain ridicule, when the ruin of their country is approaching?

  But without inquiry, whether they who oppose the bill will grant their opposition hypocritical, or their patriotism languid, I shall lay my opinion of this new regulation before your lordships with equal freedom, though with less luxuriance of imagination, and less gaiety of language.

  Of this bill, notwithstanding the acuteness with which it has been examined, and the acrimony with which it has been censured, I am not afraid to affirm, that it is neither wicked nor absurd, that all its parts are consistent, and that the effects to be expected from it are sobriety and health. I cannot find, upon the closest examination, either that it will defeat its own end, or that the end proposed by it is different from that which is professed.

  The charge of encouraging vice and tolerating drunkenness, with which the defenders of this bill have been so liberally aspersed, may be, in my opinion, more justly retorted upon those that oppose it; who, though they plead for the continuance of a law, rigorous, indeed, and well intended, own that it has, by the experience of several years, been found ineffectual.

  What, my lords, can a drunkard or a profligate be supposed to wish, but that the law may still remain in its present state, that he may still be pursued in a track by which he knows how to escape, and opposed by restraints which he is able to break? What can he desire, but that the book of statutes should lie useless, and that no laws should be made against him, but such as cannot be put in execution?

  The defects of the present law, are, indeed, very numerous; nor ought it to be continued, even though no other were to be substituted. It seems to suppose the use of distilled liquors absolutely unlawful, and, therefore, imposed upon licenses a duty so enormous, that only three were taken in the whole kingdom, and the people were therefore obliged to obtain by illegal methods, what they could not persuade themselves wholly to forbear.

  The method of detecting offenders was likewise such as gave opportunity for villany to triumph over innocence, and for perjury to grow rich with the plunder of the poor. Even charity itself might be punished by it; and he that gave a glass of spirits to a man fainting under poverty, or sickness, or fatigue, might be punished as a retailer of spirits without a license.

  These defects, which were not seen when the law was made, soon excited a dislike. No man enforced the execution of it, because every man knew that on some occasions he might himself break it; and they who suffered for the violation of it, were often pitied by those whose office obliged them to punish them. Thus the law, after having been executed a few months with rigour, was laid aside as impracticable, and appears now to be tacitly repealed; for it is apparently an empty form without effect.

  If, therefore, the use of spirits be so destructive as is generally allowed, it is surely necessary, that the legislature should at last repair the defects of the former law, and the nation should not be vitiated and ruined, without some endeavours for its preservation; and, in my opinion, to lay a double duty upon these liquors, is very rational and prudent. An increase of the price must lessen the consumption.

  To what degree the consumption will be diminished by this new duty, I am not able to foretel; but, undoubtedly, some diminution will be produced, and the least diminution will afford us this comfort, that the evil does not increase upon us, and that this law is, therefore, better than that which we have repealed.

  For this reason, my lords, I approve the present bill, without inquiring whether it is perfect; it is sufficient for me, in the present exigence, that the nation will gain something by the change, and the people will be drawn nearer to sobriety, temperance, and industry.

  Thus, my lords, without paying any regard to the determination of the other house, I think the bill sufficiently defensible by reason and policy; nor can I conceal my opinion, that those who oppose it are the real enemies of their country.

  [The question, whether the house should be now resumed, was then put and determined in the negative by 56 against 85.

  The other clauses were then read, and agreed to.

  The course of their proceedings then required, that a day should be appointed for the third reading, and lord SANDWICH therefore rose, and spoke to the following effect:]

  My lords, as the importance of the bill now before us justly demands the maturest consideration, it is not without unusual concern, that I observe the absence of many lords, for whose wisdom and experience I have the highest veneration, and whom I esteem equally for their penetration and their integrity. I should hope, that all those who feel in their hearts the love of their country, and are conscious of abilities to promote its happiness, would assemble on this great occasion, and that the collective wisdom of this house would be exerted, when the lives and fortunes, and, what is yet more worthy of regard, the virtue of the people is involved in the question.

  As there can be no avocations which can possibly withhold a wise man from counsels of such moment to his country, to himself, and to his posterity; as there is no interest equivalent to the general happiness; I cannot suppose that either business or pleasure detain those who have not attended at the examination of this bill; and therefore imagine, that they are absent only because they have not been sufficiently informed of the importance of the question that was this day to be discussed.

  It is therefore, my lords, necessary, in my opinion, that on the day of the third reading they be again summoned to attend, that the law which is allowed to be only an experiment, of which the event is absolutely uncertain, may be examined with the utmost care; that all its consequences may be known, so far as human wisdom is able to discover, and that we may at least be exempt from the imputation of being negligent of the welfare of our country, and of being desirous of avoiding information or inquiry, lest they should retard our measures or contradict our assertions.

  But since it is reasonable to believe, my lords, that many of those, who might assist us in this difficult inquiry, are now in the country, it is necessary, that our summons may have the effect which is desired, to defer the reading for some time. For to what purpose will it be to require their presence at a time at which we know it is impossible for them to comply with our orders? To direct what cannot be done is surely in its own nature absurd and contemptible, and on this occasion will expose not only our understanding but our honesty to doubts; for it will be imagined, that we are only endeavouring to make false shows of caution and accuracy, and that we in reality desire to determine without the concurrence of those whose presence we publickly require.

  I therefore move, that the third reading of this bill may be delayed five days, and that immediate summons be issued for all lords to attend.

  Lord CARTERET spoke next in substance as follows: — My lords, if it is the intention of the noble lords to debate once more the usefulness or expedience of this bill, if they have any new argument to produce, or are desirous of another opportunity to repeat those which have been already heard
, I hope they will not long withhold, either from themselves or their opponents, that satisfaction.

  Your lordships are so well acquainted with the state of the publick, and know so well the danger of the liberties of the continent, the power of the enemies whom we are to oppose, the dreadful consequences of an unsuccessful opposition, and the necessity of vigour and expedition to procure success, that it cannot be necessary to urge the impropriety of delaying the bill from which the supplies are to be expected.

  The convenience of deferring this bill, however plausibly represented by the noble lord who made the motion, is overbalanced by the necessity of considering it to-morrow. Necessity is an argument which 110 acuteness can overthrow, and against which eloquence will be employed to little purpose. I therefore, my lords, oppose the motion, not that it is unreasonable in itself, but because it cannot be admitted; I recommend despatch on this occasion, not because it is barely right, but because it is absolutely necessary.

  Lord HERVEY then rose up and spoke to the following effect: — My lords, it is always the last resource of ministers to call those measures necessary which they cannot show to be just; and when they have tried all the arts of fallacy and illusion, and found them all baffled, to stand at bay, because they can fly no longer, look their opponents boldly in the face, and stun them with the formidable sound of necessity.

  But it is generally the fortune of ministers to discover necessity much sooner than they whose eyes are not sharpened by employments; they frequently call that necessity, on which no other man would bestow the title of expediency; and that is seldom necessary to be done, which others do not think necessary to be avoided.

  At present, my lords, I see nothing necessary but what is equally necessary at all times, that we do our duty to our country, and discharge our trust, without suffering ourselves to be terrified with imaginary dangers or allured by imaginary benefits. The war which is said to produce the necessity of this bill, is, in my opinion, not necessary in itself: and, if your lordships differ from me in that sentiment, it must yet be allowed, that there is time sufficient to provide supplies by new methods.