Complete Works of Samuel Johnson

by Samuel Johnson

  As we travelled this forenoon, we met Dr. McLean, who expressed much regret at his having been so unfortunate as to be absent while we were at his house.

  We were in hopes to get to Sir Allan Maclean’s at Inchkenneth, to-night; but the eight miles, of which our road was said to consist, were so very long, that we did not reach the opposite coast of Mull till seven at night, though we had set out about eleven in the forenoon; and when we did arrive there, we found the wind strong against us. Col determined that we should pass the night at M’Quarrie’s, in the island of Ulva, which lies between Mull and Inchkenneth; and a servant was sent forward to the ferry, to secure the boat for us; but the boat was gone to the Ulva side, and the wind was so high that the people could not hear him call; and the night so dark that they could not see a signal. We should have been in a very bad situation, had there not fortunately been lying in the little sound of Ulva an Irish vessel, the Bonnetta, of Londonderry, Captain M’Lure, master. He himself was at M’Quarrie’s; but his men obligingly came with their long-boat, and ferried us over. M’Quarrie’s house was mean; but we were agreeably surprized with the appearance of the master, whom we found to be intelligent, polite, and much a man of the world. Though his clan is not numerous, he is a very ancient Chief, and has a burial place at Icolmkill. He told us, his family had possessed Ulva for nine hundred years; but I was distressed to hear that it was soon to be sold for payment of his debts.

  Captain M’Lure, whom we found here, was of Scotch extraction, and properly a McLeod, being descended of some of the M’Leods who went with Sir Normand of Bernera to the battle of Worcester; and after the defeat of the royalists, fled to Ireland, and, to conceal themselves, took a different name. He told me, there was a great number of them about Londonderry; some of good property. I said, they should now resume their real name. The Laird of M’Leod should go over, and assemble them, and make them all drink the large horn full, and from that time they should be M’Leods. The captain informed us, he had named his ship the Bonnetta, out of gratitude to Providence; for once, when he was sailing to America with a good number of passengers, the ship in which he then sailed was becalmed for five weeks, and during all that time, numbers of the fish Bonnetta swam close to her, and were caught for food; he resolved therefore, that the ship he should next get, should be called the Bonnetta.

  M’Quarrie told us a strong instance of the second sight. He had gone to Edinburgh, and taken a man-servant along with him. An old woman, who was in the house, said one day, ‘M’Quarrie will be at home to-morrow, and will bring two gentlemen with him;’ and she said, she saw his servant return in red and green. He did come home next day. He had two gentlemen with him; and his servant had a new red and green livery, which M’Quarrie had bought for him at Edinburgh, upon a sudden thought, not having the least intention when he left home to put his servant in livery; so that the old woman could not have heard any previous mention of it. This, he assured us, was a true story.

  M’Quarrie insisted that the Mercheta Mulierum, mentioned in our old charters, did really mean the privilege which a lord of the manor, or a baron, had, to have the first night of all his vassals’ wives. Dr. Johnson said, the belief of such a custom having existed was also held in England, where there is a tenure called Borough English, by which the eldest child does not inherit, from a doubt of his being the son of the tenant. M’Quarrie told us, that still, on the marriage of each of his tenants, a sheep is due to him; for which the composition is fixed at five shillings. I suppose, Ulva is the only place where this custom remains.

  Talking of the sale of an estate of an ancient family, which was said to have been purchased much under its value by the confidential lawyer of that family, and it being mentioned that the sale would probably be set aside by a suit in equity, Dr. Johnson said, ‘I am very willing that this sale should be set aside, but I doubt much whether the suit will be successful; for the argument for avoiding the sale is founded on vague and indeterminate principles, as that the price was too low, and that there was a great degree of confidence placed by the seller in the person who became the purchaser. Now, how low should a price be? or what degree of confidence should there be to make a bargain be set aside? a bargain, which is a wager of skill between man and man. If, indeed, any fraud can be proved, that will do.’

  When Dr. Johnson and I were by ourselves at night, I observed of our host, ‘aspectum generosum habet;’— ‘et generosum animum’, he added. For fear of being overheard in the small Highland houses, I often talked to him in such Latin as I could speak, and with as much of the English accent as I could assume, so as not to be understood, in case our conversation should be too loud for the space.

  We had each an elegant bed in the same room; and here it was that a circumstance occurred, as to which he has been strangely misunderstood. From his description of his chamber, it has erroneously been supposed, that his bed being too short for him, his feet during the night were in the mire; whereas he has only said, that when he undressed, he felt his feet in the mire: that is, the clay-floor of the room, on which he stood upon before he went into bed, was wet, in consequence of the windows being broken, which let in the rain.

  SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17.

  Being informed that there was nothing worthy of observation in Ulva, we took boat, and proceeded to Inchkenneth, where we were introduced by our friend Col to Sir Allan M’Lean, the Chief of his clan, and to two young ladies, his daughters. Inchkenneth is a pretty little island, a mile long, and about half a mile broad, all good land.

  As we walked up from the shore, Dr. Johnson’s heart was cheered by the sight of a road marked with cart-wheels, as on the main land; a thing which we had not seen for a long time. It gave us a pleasure similar to that which a traveller feels, when, whilst wandering on what he fears is a desert island, he perceives the print of human feet. Military men acquire excellent habits of having all conveniences about them. Sir Allan M’Lean, who had been long in the army, and had now a lease of the island, had formed a commodious habitation, though it consisted but of a few small buildings, only one story high. He had, in his little apartments, more things than I could enumerate in a page or two.

  Among other agreeable circumstances, it was not the least, to find here a parcel of the Caledonian Mercury, published since we left Edinburgh; which I read with that pleasure which every man feels who has been for some time secluded from the animated scenes of the busy world.

  Dr. Johnson found books here. He bade me buy Bishop Gastrell’s Christian Institutes, which was lying in the room. He said, ‘I do not like to read any thing on a Sunday, but what is theological; not that I would scrupulously refuse to look at any thing which a friend should shew me in a newspaper; but in general, I would read only what is theological. I read just now some of Drummond’s Travels, before I perceived what books were here. I then took up Derham’s Physico-Theology.’

  Every particular concerning this island having been so well described by Dr. Johnson, it would be superfluous in me to present the publick with the observations that I made upon it, in my Journal.

  I was quite easy with Sir Allan almost instantaneously. He knew the great intimacy that had been between my father and his predecessor, Sir Hector, and was himself of a very frank disposition. After dinner, Sir Allan said he had got Dr. Campbell about an hundred subscribers to his Britannia Elucidata, (a work since published under the title of A Political Survey of Great Britain,) of whom he believed twenty were dead, the publication having been so long delayed. JOHNSON. ‘Sir, I imagine the delay of publication is owing to this; — that, after publication, there will be no more subscribers, and few will send the additional guinea to get their books: in which they will be wrong; for there will be a great deal of instruction in the work. I think highly of Campbell. In the first place, he has very good parts. In the second place, he has very extensive reading; not, perhaps, what is properly called learning, but history, politicks, and, in short, that popular knowledge which makes a man very useful. In the third place,
he has learned much by what is called the vox viva. He talks with a great many people.’

  Speaking of this gentleman, at Rasay, he told us, that he one day called on him, and they talked of Tull’s Husbandry. Dr. Campbell said something. Dr. Johnson began to dispute it. ‘Come, (said Dr. Campbell,) we do not want to get the better of one another: we want to encrease each other’s ideas.’ Dr. Johnson took it in good part, and the conversation then went on coolly and instructively. His candour in relating this anecdote does him much credit, and his conduct on that occasion proves how easily he could be persuaded to talk from a better motive than ‘for victory.’

  Dr. Johnson here shewed so much of the spirit of a Highlander, that he won Sir Allan’s heart: indeed, he has shewn it during the whole of our Tour. One night, in Col, he strutted about the room with a broad sword and target, and made a formidable appearance; and, another night, I took the liberty to put a large blue bonnet on his head. His age, his size, and his bushy grey wig, with this covering on it, presented the image of a venerable Senachi: and, however unfavourable to the Lowland Scots, he seemed much pleased to assume the appearance of an ancient Caledonian. We only regretted that he could not be prevailed with to partake of the social glass. One of his arguments against drinking, appears to me not convincing. He urged, that ‘in proportion as drinking makes a man different from what he is before he has drunk, it is bad; because it has so far affected his reason.’ But may it not be answered, that a man may be altered by it for the better; that his spirits may be exhilarated, without his reason being affected. On the general subject of drinking, however, I do not mean positively to take the other side. I am dubius, non improbus.

  In the evening, Sir Allan informed us that it was the custom of his house to have prayers every Sunday; and Miss M’Lean read the evening service, in which we all joined. I then read Ogden’s second and ninth Sermons on Prayer, which, with their other distinguished excellence, have the merit of being short. Dr. Johnson said, that it was the most agreeable Sunday he had ever passed; and it made such an impression on his mind, that he afterwards wrote the following Latin verses upon Inchkenneth: —

  INSULA SANCTI KENNETHI.

  Parva quidem regio, sed relligione priorum

  Nota, Caledonias panditur inter aquas;

  Voce ubi Cennethus populos domuisse feroces

  Dicitur, et vanos dedocuisse deos.

  Hue ego delatus placido per coerula cursu

  Scire locum volui quid daret ille novi.

  Illic Leniades humili regnabat in aula,

  Leniades magnis nobilitatus avis:

  Una duas habuit casa cum genitore puellas,

  Quas Amor undarum fingeret esse deas:

  Non tamen inculti gelidis latuere sub antris,

  Accola Danubii qualia saevus habet;

  Mollia non decrant vacuae solatia vitae,

  Sive libros poscant otia, sive lyram.

  Luxerat ilia dies, legis gens docta supernae

  Spes hominum ac curas cum procul esse jubet,

  Ponti inter strepitus sacri non munera cultus

  Cessarunt; pietas hic quoque cura fuit:

  Quid quod sacrifici versavit femina libros,

  Legitimas faciunt pectora pura preces.

  Quo vagor ulterius? quod ubique requiritur hic est;

  Hic secura quies, hic et honestus amor.

  MONDAY, OCTOBER 18.

  We agreed to pass this day with Sir Allan, and he engaged to have every thing in order for our voyage to-morrow.

  Being now soon to be separated from our amiable friend young Col, his merits were all remembered. At Ulva he had appeared in a new character, having given us a good prescription for a cold. On my mentioning him with warmth, Dr. Johnson said, ‘Col does every thing for us: we will erect a statue to Col.’ ‘Yes, said I, and we will have him with his various attributes and characters, like Mercury, or any other of the heathen gods. We will have him as a pilot; we will have him as a fisherman, as a hunter, as a husbandman, as a physician.’

  I this morning took a spade, and dug a little grave in the floor of a ruined chapel, near Sir Allan M’Lean’s house, in which I buried some human bones I found there. Dr. Johnson praised me for what I had done, though he owned, he could not have done it. He shewed in the chapel at Rasay his horrour at dead men’s bones. He shewed it again at Col’s house. In the Charter-room there was a remarkable large shin-bone, which was said to have been a bone of John Garve, one of the lairds. Dr. Johnson would not look at it; but started away.

  At breakfast, I asked, ‘What is the reason that we are angry at a trader’s having opulence?’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, the reason is, (though I don’t undertake to prove that there is a reason,) we see no qualities in trade that should entitle a man to superiority. We are not angry at a soldier’s getting riches, because we see that he possesses qualities which we have not. If a man returns from a battle, having lost one hand, and with the other full of gold, we feel that he deserves the gold; but we cannot think that a fellow, by sitting all day at a desk, is entitled to get above us.’ BOSWELL. ‘But, Sir, may we not suppose a merchant to be a man of an enlarged mind, such as Addison in the Spectator describes Sir Andrew Freeport to have been?’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, we may suppose any fictitious character. We may suppose a philosophical day-labourer, who is happy in reflecting that, by his labour, he contributes to the fertility of the earth, and to the support of his fellow-creatures; but we find no such philosophical day-labourer. A merchant may, perhaps, be a man of an enlarged mind; but there is nothing in trade connected with an enlarged mind.’

  I mentioned that I had heard Dr. Solander say he was a Swedish Laplander. JOHNSON. ‘Sir, I don’t believe he is a Laplander. The Laplanders are not much above four feet high. He is as tall as you; and he has not the copper colour of a Laplander.’ BOSWELL. ‘But what motive could he have to make himself a Laplander?’ JOHNSON. ‘Why, Sir, he must either mean the word Laplander in a very extensive sense, or may mean a voluntary degradation of himself. “For all my being the great man that you see me now, I was originally a Barbarian;” as if Burke should say, “I came over a wild Irishman.” Which he might say in his present state of exaltation.’

  Having expressed a desire to have an island like Inchkenneth, Dr. Johnson set himself to think what would be necessary for a man in such a situation. ‘Sir, I should build me a fortification, if I came to live here; for, if you have it not, what should hinder a parcel of ruffians to land in the night, and carry off every thing you have in the house, which, in a remote country, would be more valuable than cows and sheep? add to all this the danger of having your throat cut.’ BOSWELL. ‘I would have a large dog.’ JOHNSON. ‘So you may, Sir; but a large dog is of no use but to alarm.’ He, however, I apprehend, thinks too lightly of the power of that animal. I have heard him say, that he is afraid of no dog. ‘He would take him up by the hinder legs, which would render him quite helpless, — and then knock his head against a stone, and beat out his brains.’ Topham Beauclerk told me, that at his house in the country, two large ferocious dogs were fighting. Dr. Johnson looked steadily at them for a little while; and then, as one would separate two little boys, who were foolishly hurting each other, he ran up to them, and cuffed their heads till he drove them asunder. But few men have his intrepidity, Herculean strength, or presence of mind. Most thieves or robbers would be afraid to encounter a mastiff.

  I observed, that, when young Col talked of the lands belonging to his family, he always said, ‘my lands.’ For this he had a plausible pretence; for he told me, there has been a custom in this family, that the laird resigns the estate to the eldest son when he comes of age, reserving to himself only a certain life-rent. He said, it was a voluntary custom; but I think I found an instance in the charter-room, that there was such an obligation in a contract of marriage. If the custom was voluntary, it was only curious; but if founded on obligation, it might be dangerous; for I have been told, that in Otaheité, whenever a child is born, (a son, I think,) the father l
oses his right to the estate and honours, and that this unnatural, or rather absurd custom, occasions the murder of many children.

  Young Col told us he could run down a greyhound; ‘for, (said he,) the dog runs himself out of breath, by going too quick, and then I get up with him.’ I accounted for his advantage over the dog, by remarking that Col had the faculty of reason, and knew how to moderate his pace, which the dog had not sense enough to do. Dr. Johnson said, ‘He is a noble animal. He is as complete an islander as the mind can figure. He is a farmer, a sailor, a hunter, a fisher: he will run you down a dog: if any man has a tail, it is Col. He is hospitable; and he has an intrepidity of talk, whether he understands the subject or not. I regret that he is not more intellectual.’

  Dr. Johnson observed, that there was nothing of which he would not undertake to persuade a Frenchman in a foreign country. ‘I’ll carry a Frenchman to St. Paul’s Church-yard, and I’ll tell him, “by our law you may walk half round the church; but, if you walk round the whole, you will be punished capitally,” and he will believe me at once. Now, no Englishman would readily swallow such a thing: he would go and inquire of somebody else.’ The Frenchman’s credulity, I observed, must be owing to his being accustomed to implicit submission; whereas every Englishman reasons upon the laws of his country, and instructs his representatives, who compose the legislature. This day was passed in looking at a small island adjoining Inchkenneth, which afforded nothing worthy of observation; and in such social and gay entertainments as our little society could furnish.

  TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19.

  After breakfast we took leave of the young ladies, and of our excellent companion Col, to whom we had been so much obliged. He had now put us under the care of his Chief; and was to hasten back to Sky. We parted from him with very strong feelings of kindness and gratitude; and we hoped to have had some future opportunity of proving to him the sincerity of what we felt; but in the following year he was unfortunately lost in the Sound between Ulva and Mull; and this imperfect memorial, joined to the high honour of being tenderly and respectfully mentioned by Dr. Johnson, is the only return which the uncertainty of human events has permitted us to make to this deserving young man.