by Pamela Ann
“The thought of you chasing after me is sweet, but I’m not going anywhere. I promise. You’ll see how I’ve changed. I’m staying, and I’ll keep fighting to make it that way.” He looked thoughtful a moment before he said something that took me aback.
“Did you ever wish I came after you that time after graduation?”
If we were both really being honest, well… I would bare my heart to him. The good. The ugly. And the rest of the goo.
“Yes. But I hadn’t realized how much you meant to me then. I was blind. It kills me to think how blind I’ve been. You were so open about your feelings for me that I got scared. You were this force field that wouldn’t go away, pressing and pushing itself into my life until you broke into my heart.”
“I actually bought a plane ticket a month after you left.”
“WHAT?” He had just blown my mind with this revelation. “Then why didn’t you come?”
“I got into a car accident. I was beat up, so I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to.” He looked sorry as his thumb caressed my cheek. “And when you didn’t call to ask if I was okay, I got discouraged.”
“OH, GOD!” He was beat up? How bad had it been? “No one told me.”
“After your mom found out—it was after a few days ‘cause she was on a business trip—I told her not to mention anything to you. I did ask Edith to call you, though; right before they were going to operate on me. I was high on the drugs they shot into my body, but I clearly remember asking her to call you and to also ask you if you could come back.”
Edith. Son of a whorish bitch!
“I never got anything!” I was stunned. Things could’ve been so different for us. “Grey, I’m so sorry.” My arms encircled his neck, holding him incredibly close, never letting him go again. “I’m sorry. I’m going to make it up to you. I promise I will.”
“That’s weird… She said she did and that you told her you didn’t care.”
That horrid skank!
“That’s a lie. I would never say that. I would’ve come running back home had I known you were hurt.” My voice shook. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“Why would she lie, though? She saw how fucked up I was when you left.” He was trying to piece the puzzle together. “I was so messed up, not only physically but mentally, too. That’s why I felt like I owed her when she wanted to marry me because she helped me when I was at my lowest—she helped me get back up again.”
Pure bull. Couldn’t he see she had been willing to do anything to get him?
“She helped you recover with the healing powers of her vagina? Well, that’s neat. I’m sure there’s amazing medicinal benefits to that which made you forget about me.” Sarcasm at its best. I was angry at her, and then at him for believing her shit.
“She’s not all that bad.”
Oh, so he was defending her? That made my evil twin come out and play. In my angered state, I pulled away from him as I started spewing the crap that Edith had pulled since third grade. From my father’s blackmail picture and the ongoing threats she kept on until high school, I put it all out in the open. I had lost so much… all because one woman had wanted him for herself.
Glancing over at Grey, I had to know one thing that nagged at my heart the most.
“Do you still love her?” I asked, holding my breath.
He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “It’s not like that, not in the way you think.”
“Well, then can you explain to me why you’d go to the trouble of proposing to her and telling her you loved her?”
He jumped out of the bed, wanting to be close to me, however I stretched my arm out, telling him not to come closer because I needed some space to think.
“Where did you hear that?”
We were airing everything out, so I might as well come out with the truth. “I was there in the back of the church… in the courtyard, listening to you guys talk.”
“You where there? And you didn’t think that maybe you should’ve come out of your hiding spot?”
“Why should I when I had just heard her declare that you took a great amount of trouble in making a perfect proposal? Did you know how it felt to hear that?”
“I’m sorry. I was in such a bad place that I wanted to do anything to erase you. I care about Edith, and I’m not going to lie that I tried to fall for her the way I did with you—”
“Shhh—that’s enough.” I wanted to faint and barf at the same time.
Holding a hand over my heart, I slowly walked towards the chair to get my robe before walking out the door. I was aware of him calling my name out, yet I was in my own world of hurt, needing some alone time. I found myself sitting on my heels as I stared into the crystal waters of the creek, wondering how life had immediately turned sour again. This up and down rollercoaster when it came to Greyson was going to kill me soon.
“I’m not in love with Edith…I never did. I only loved one woman and she walked out on me too many times to count.” He took a moment before adding more to my tears. “She scares me but I have never felt more alive when she enters my world.
“When she left, I thought I wasn’t going to ever be okay. So I did what other guys my age did, party and hooked up with random girls and did mixed as much drugs as my body allowed. This went on everyday for almost a straight month, thinking that I was invincible and could do whatever I fucking wanted until the accident happened. I was drifting in the canyons, high off coke, weed and alcohol before I crashed into a tree. Had it not been for the tree—the car would’ve rolled off the mountain and I would be dead. My car was totaled so I had to get an exact same one, so not a lot of people would know about what happened. Edith was there the second she found out, never leaving my side. I can her motives as to why she didn’t make that call when I asked her to call you. In a way, it was probably her being protective of me and at the same time to also get what she wanted for herself. She saw how much I suffered, she cried and begged me to straighten up until one day I actually listened to her and started to change my daily routine. Cutting off the parties was the first thing I did, the women and occasionally used drugs. Without all of my usual habits, the only thing left that was there was Edith.
“When she offered me to use her, at first I wasn’t comfortable with the idea cause that shit ain’t me—not like that—it’s different from one night stands. We were basically together almost on a daily basis and she did what I wanted, never causing a scene…no fights to argue about…it was all easy and pleasant. So I thought then that this was the exact opposite of what I had with Olivia—much more healthier in the mind—and it wasn’t as bad as I thought in the beginning. After that, I started opening up to her about how I felt about you and how much I worship you from head to foot. I would have these nightly confessions and she’d listen me blabber without interrupting me, making me feel secure and somehow I felt her love. I saw the difference between the two—and I started to see her differently then. I thought that if I could love a woman who didn’t even love me back, why they heck couldn’t I fall for someone who was already in love with me? I mean things were so easy and chill with Edith, why not take our relationship to another level? At first it was just sex with her, but when I decided to change it, I would get dreams of the woman who fucked me inside out. At first the dreams were just images—then it started becoming so vivid and so real that sometimes I would wake up wondering where I was. It got so bad that I had to push you out of my mind before sex because I couldn’t get her out of my head.
“Then Edith found out about her cancer and I took the plunge, desperate to help her out and at the same time, wanting to push you out of my life forever. But it never played that way…because the second I knew you got back, I started hanging out in the pool house again…checking her window with the telescope we used to watch stars at night. Seeing her from afar confirmed how much I had failed in trying to get over her. Seeing her up close the next day made me almost lost control because her boyfriend was all over her—kissing her as if she didn’t
belong to me. Each silent glances they shared, each kiss, each touch, I counted it all, promising that I’d punish her in that same amount. I wasn’t expecting her to come out of her room and head straight towards where I was hiding in the pool house. But when fate handed me an opportunity like that, I knew I just had to grab it and own her once again. But I was stupid enough to think that…because I realized too late that I was the one who got owned.
“My ego’s been damaged that it was hard to say the things I wanted to say…and to be honest, it was harder to understand my conflicted feelings in the beginning. But I realized that no matter how much I hated her or how much I adored and worshipped her as I did before, the outcome hasn’t changed…and it never will. And when I accepted this, I knew I had to make decisions if I wanted to pursue the woman I want to be with….”
I had been staring straight into the water that it took me awhile to notice that he wasn’t talking anymore. And when he spoke again, I felt him right behind me, almost touching my body and yet his warmth radiated off him, hugging my senses.
“The other night I came home late—it wasn’t because I was doing anyone or wanting to meet any girl for that matter. I knew that you thought but it wasn’t like that at all. I was with Edith the whole time—” he wrapped his arms around my hips locking me in so I wouldn’t move and run away—because I was just about to take flight when he did just that. “Stop doing that and listen to me—please. I haven’t been with anyone after that Christmas morning. I only wanted you and no one else after that. I went to see her because I needed to discuss something important. She needed time to come to terms that I was divorcing her but I promised to still take care of her bills and her living expenses.”
I spun around and faced him, frowning at his beautiful face. “Why didn’t you just tell me that night? Why’d you have to be so secretive about everything?”
“Because I needed to make sure that you still loved me. Even though you told me how you felt—I still had doubts. People say things even if they don’t mean it…”
So I supposed those doubts have been reassured? “Do you believe it now?”
His face softened. Eyes caressing every contour of my face. “Your eyes tell me all the time.”
Good, at least that’s one problem out of our way. “It would be a shame if you didn’t…because I haven’t felt this kind of intensity, not even with Liam…” I trailed off before asking him a vital question. “What if she won’t agree to a divorce?”
“She will—don’t worry about it,” he blurted out as if it was already a given and that Edith’s obsessive personality wouldn’t hinder in his decision.
“How sure are you?” Didn’t he know Edith? She’d probably do something again to get his attention. I wouldn’t put it past her. Years of knowing her made me believe that she wouldn’t let him go this easy…no never Edith.
He smirked, eyes glinting at my question. “I made sure my lawyer had it in the pre-nup in any case you came after me and I will be tempted to sample some of your lady bits.”
“You’re fucking me with me—” This was so not the time to make a dumb joke. What the hell.
A sexy deep-bellied laugh tickled him crazy before said with sincerity, “I’m dying to fuck you.” He brought my hand to squeeze and feel how hard he was but I wasn’t going to be distracted…not yet.
“Be serious.” I pleaded. “Don’t joke about this.”
He gazed at me before giving me the truth. “Don’t judge—but it’s true. I really made sure there was a clause stating “In any case Olivia Taylor yada yada yada.” His voice had a smile to it but his eyes told me that he wasn’t lying at all.
But what kind of guy would make sure to place a clause like that? I questioned his sanity or the lack of it. “You’re crazier than I am.”
“Old news babe.”
Guess we were two of a kind. Ha. But then again, we were not a normal couple. We never were and I doubt we’d ever be. “I don’t understand—if you hated me then… well why put it there in the first place?”
He shook his head as if he was wondering why I asked this question. Kissing me on the lip, his hands them cradled my face. “You’re my soulmate, Liv. You were bound to come back to me sooner or later. Whether I wanted it or not…”
Was he high? Cause this crap was a little too much when I’m sober. “Okay—that’s plain mental right there.”
He groaned, seeming as if he was losing patience but he surprised me by picking me up and had me cling on to him before he planted a kiss in between my breasts before looking up to me, showing me what was inside his soul. “Ever since third grade, that mental sentiment hasn’t changed. One day you shall see just how much.”
My heart swelled, feeling overwhelmed by so much love for him. “You didn’t even question it?”
“Never,” he said without hesitation.
My brow rose. “Not even once?”
“Never…means never,” he grunted out as if I should know better.
“Don’t be such a smartass!” Smacking his shoulder, I giggled when his teeth playfully bit into my nipple through my robe.
He groaned loudly before his lips started to seek further into the robe, wanting to taste my skin. “Ugh, speaking of ass… where were we?”
“Aw, hell to the no!” I screeched before he barked out a laugh and took us back inside the cabin.
Chapter 33
Liv
“So… how does it feel to bring this out on the surface?” Mom grinned at the both of us.
We were having lunch with Brett and Mom the day after they got back from their vacation. They looked tanned and healthy. My mom had a beautiful glow in her that had never been there before.
“I think it’s so much easier compared to the last time, I can tell you that,” Grey butted in before giving me a kiss on the forehead.
I was overjoyed they didn’t have any complaints about it, yet it felt like they were too accepting of it, as if they didn’t have any reservations over whether this would work out. The nagging feeling I had was somehow on point because I got my answer in the middle of dessert.
“It’s good to see you both so happy,” Brett started to say before he took hold of my mother’s hand and kissed it. “We have our own announcement to make.” His eyes shifted from mine to Grey’s then back at me again.
Fuck. They were going to get married and we’d be step-siblings? I thought horrendously. Talk about bad timing!
“We’re expecting a baby.”
My eyes grew as big as saucers. “Excuse me? Did you say baby?”
Brett placed his arm around my mom as I watched her get teary-eyed. “Yes, Liv… we’re pregnant.”
“Wow.” Grey nodded, just as shocked as I was. “That’s—” he huffed out a breath, nodding again. “Congratulations?”
“You guys need to calm down; we aren’t getting married, so you two can now not look so horrified!” Mom laughed, shaking her head.
Jesus. Thank you.
I let out a whistle, smiling my relief.
We stayed for another hour, catching up as they spoke about what was to come with my mom’s pregnancy. Pushing my own fears aside, I was ecstatic for my mom and the idea of having a new brother or sister to welcome into the family. Brett looked extremely proud, giving my mom such beloved looks and touching her whenever he could.
Grey and I had been settling in well. We still argued almost on a daily basis, but hey, life sure wasn’t perfect and neither were we. Yet, even if we bickered, I still cherished those little bits and pieces because we were growing together as a couple, and every single moment and experience I had with him, I took straight to heart.
It had been a two weeks since we got back from the cabin and things had progressed steadily since then. When he announced it to his friends that I had become his girlfriend, again, apparently everyone blew a sigh of relief and yelled “Thank you, Jesus” because they were sick of seeing him blow a fuse every time one of them was near me. The man was mental for me, a
nd I loved every crazy bit of him.
Yesterday marked another monumental moment for us. He officially moved in, hauling all of his things to my place, telling me the world could benefit from it since he’d be saving gas from driving back and forth, and he’d have less of a stress knowing I was safe in bed and not trolling at some party.
He was overbearing and overprotective, especially since it was hard to avoid being in school and not getting invited every other hour, however we decided it would be healthier and safer if we go together as a couple. He wasn’t sure at first, but I insisted on it. The scars of what had happened to me would always be there—a reminder of what life might’ve been for me. Even though that taught me a lot, I also didn’t want to live in fear and not savor the second chance I had—to start over and make things right with Greyson.
I still hadn’t said anything to my mom about the incident and hospitalization, but given her present circumstances, it was best to save it for another time. Besides, it wasn’t something I was ready to open up about. When the time was right, I’d lay it all out there. For now, though, I was satisfied with what I had. I had love in abundance, and that’s what mattered most.
As Greyson promised, Edith did sign the divorce papers, though she made her own stipulations that made me not so happy, but it was something I could compromise with. She had demanded for Grey to keep visiting her twice a week and spend time with her on top of Grey supporting her financially. She was still going through her treatments, and even though her body was responding to it, the doctors weren’t one hundred percent positive she was in the clear.
I wasn’t happy about it to be honest, but Grey begged me to understand that he had vowed to be there for her, and although he wasn’t married to her anymore, he still wanted to carry through with that promise. When he said that Edith didn’t pose a threat to us anymore, I truly believed it because nothing was going to break us apart. So I gave him my consent, respecting him a little for standing his ground and for keeping his promise. There weren’t enough men in this world that were that kind and would deliver with their promises. I was blessed and truly lucky to have a man like that.