“It’s just a loan.”
“I’ll take good care of it until I see you.”
“I know you will. I trust you.”
She did. She trusted me. It kind of surprised me, because Andrea wasn’t always so forthcoming with her thoughts, and now she’d given me a gateway to them.
“Have you read it yet?”
“Um, no, I haven’t had a chance. I’ll look at it today.”
“Only if you want. I thought it might help you. You are praying about everything, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, of course.” I covered my eyes with one hand.
It was a lie. My first lie to Andrea. I wanted to punch myself. I’d promised I’d never lie the way my dad always did. But I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t prayed since leaving NC. “I’ll look through it later on. I promise. So are we going to Skype while we watch this superhero flick or what?”
“I can’t.”
“What? I have it all queued up and ready to start.”
“I got some extra practice time in the school auditorium. It will be great practice for the Christmas Eve concert. Maybe it will settle my nerves. I can’t tell you how on edge I’ve been.”
My door banged open. Charli traipsed inside and flung herself on the bed, just as brazen as when the opposing team broke in and stole our mascot at my old school in Orange County.
“Hey! Charli! What are you doing here?” I muted my cellphone before she could speak.
“Just visiting you. It’s Mom’s day off, and she has plans with your dad, so I came along.”
“Don’t you have any other friends you can bother?”
“Are we friends now?” She batted her eyelashes.
I unmuted the phone. “I got to go. Heather is here and she brought her offspring.”
“Charlie, I heard. So, you’re making friends, are you?” Andrea teased.
“I’m trying.”
“Tell him hi from me.”
“I will. Bye.” As I pressed the button to end the call, it registered that she’d said him. Andrea thought Charli was a Charlie. Great! Something else I’d have to sort out. But not now. Later.
“Was that your girlfriend?” Charli asked.
“Yeah, it was Andrea.”
“Do you have a picture of her?”
“No.” I set my phone on the bedside table.
“Sure you do.” She hopped off the bed. “I bet you have a whole slew of them on that phone.” She grabbed it off the table. “Aw, look at the two of you on your cover screen. She’s pretty, but not in an annoying way. How old is she anyway?”
“Sixteen. Why?”
“Just wondering. So, she must be a junior. I think I might like her if I ever saw her in real life.”
I grabbed the phone away from her. “Well, that’ll never happen.” I stuffed the phone into my pocket. “What do you want, Charli?”
“I want you to come out with me. Let’s go to the beach or something. The weather is awesome today. Seventy-five and breezy. My mom can drop us off and we can take the bus back.” She grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV. “It’s too nice to be inside. In a couple more days, I go back to the snow and ice.”
The weather was terrific. If I did miss one thing in moving from California, it was the weather…and maybe the Mexican food. You couldn’t get decent Mexican food anywhere near my new home.
“Fine. I could use some air.”
“And later we can get something to eat. The last time I was here, Mom took me to get Mexican food at this little hole-in-the-wall place down the street.”
I smiled at her. Had she been reading my mind? “Sounds good. I could go for Mexican.”
“Boys! They’re always hungry.”
~*~
The air had been dry, the warm wind intermingled with chilly air all morning at the beach. We walked and played in the surf all the way down from the Huntington Beach Pier almost to Sunset Beach. It amazed me how much I missed this place—the feel of the grainy, dark sand under my toes; the strong, almost repugnant smell of the sea; and the thick kelp washing up on shore. I had to admit, this felt like home. A spiral of excitement spun in my chest as the sea breezes whizzed passed my face.
I almost thought about renting a board and hitting the waves. They were always good this time of year, but I resisted. If I had suggested it, I’m sure Charli would have asked me to teach her how to surf and that was the last thing I needed.
She’d been like an annoying fly that just wouldn’t leave me alone, but I guess that wasn’t fair. She didn’t know anyone out here and she was bored. I couldn’t blame her there. I had to admit, she was fun to be around. It made me forget that Andrea was too busy for me once again.
After the beach, we took the bus and picked up some food on the way back to the condo community. We lay out in the lounge chairs around the deserted pool.
Charli’s straw squeaked as she sucked the last of her vanilla shake. “I think I’m going to ask my mom if I can move here permanently. I mean, it is snowing in Chicago right this very second.”
I wondered what she’d think once my dad asked her mom to marry him. Did she like the idea of her mom remarrying? Did she want a new dad?
“The weather is awesome. I do miss that, but I wouldn’t move back here for anything.” I reclined farther with my hands cradled beneath my head.
“Life is that good back in NC, huh?”
“It’s not perfect. It’s different, but yeah, it’s pretty good.”
“It’s Jim, your dad. You don’t like him so much, do you?”
I firmed my mouth. Was I that obvious? “We still have issues.”
“I thought Christians were supposed to forgive each other and all that. Did he do something really horrible to your mother, or what?”
“We’re working through it.”
“Private, aren’t you? Well, I’m going in for a swim.” She peeled off her top and shorts to reveal the two-piece bathing suit she’d worn at the beach. Her three tattoos were in plain sight too. A rose on the inside of her right wrist, a butterfly on her left shoulder, and an infinity symbol at the small of her back with her name intertwined with Mike. Who was Mike? A boyfriend? She’d neglected to mention him. He must have been important enough at some point to tattoo his name on her body. How had her parents allowed her to get three tattoos? She couldn’t be more than fourteen. Although Charli seemed like the type who went and did whatever she wanted. This time, though, she must have gotten her parents to go along with it. She splashed into the eight-foot-deep, kidney-shaped pool.
It looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned out since the fall. Bugs and tree debris littered the surface. I figured their lack of pool maintenance must be due to the drought.
Charli popped her head out of the water and braced her arms up over the side. “It’s great. You should join me.”
“It looks disgusting.”
“It could use a cleaning, but trust me, it’s a lot warmer than the ocean was this morning.”
“Yeah, the California surf is pretty chilly even in the summer.”
“Come on, you know what they say: ‘Never swim alone.’”
“I’ll keep an eye on you from here.”
“Luke, why do you make everything difficult?”
Me? Difficult?
“Fine. I guess I’ll be showering afterward anyway, after a day at the beach.” I dove into the eight-foot depth and then swam back and forth the length of the pool twice. I held on to the side of the pool at the deep end and looked for Charli.
She came up next to me. “See, feels good, right? Just imagine all your friends freezing their behinds off back home.”
There was that word home again.
“I guess you’re right.”
“I had a boyfriend in Chicago. He dropped out of school and dumped me last week.”
She looked at me as if I should have something comforting to say. I had nothing. I guess this answered the question of Mike. “Sorry,” I offered.
&nb
sp; “Yeah, well, don’t be. He was a total tool. I’m better off without him.” Even with her damp face, I could see her eyes water.
“I’m sure you are.”
“Luke.” She looked right into my eyes with the most sincere expression I’d seen on her. No attitude or sarcasm. She lifted my hand and set it on her shoulder. “Would you kiss me?”
“What?...No!” I pulled my hand away. “Of course not.”
“I mean, I know you have a girlfriend, but she’s three thousand miles away.”
“So what?”
“Well, she wouldn’t know, and I really want you to kiss me.” She smiled at me, unabashed.
Did this girl have no shame? Or a filter?
“It would make me feel better. Don’t you want me to feel better?”
“I’m not going to kiss you, Charli. I’ve only kissed one girl in my life, and I’m not about to change that statistic right now.” I gripped the handle of the ladder and started up to exit the pool. I couldn’t believe her. I’d only known her for a couple days and she was asking me to kiss her? OK, admittedly, I wanted to kiss Andrea after knowing her for like a day, but I didn’t. I waited like two months before that happened. And I’m glad I did. It was a special, never-to-be-forgotten first kiss. I wasn’t about to spoil all that for Charli. Even if she was kind of cute in a weird way and had those plump, kissable kind of lips. Wait…where had that come from?
Charli followed behind. “Don’t be mad. It was just a test. I wanted to see what kind of guy you really were.”
“A test?” I eyed her for a moment as we both stood there with water creating puddles at our feet. “Did your boyfriend really break up with you?”
“Yeah, that was true. I really am upset. He’s like slime, trust me. But you’re different. You’re a good guy. Andrea’s a lucky girl.”
“And what if I had kissed you?”
“Well, then I would have enjoyed it. You are cute in a tall, dark, broad-shouldered kind of way. I am female, after all.” She shrugged. “Even if you’re not my type.”
“Well, you aren’t my type either.”
“And what’s your type?”
Immediately, I thought, She’s not Andrea. But I didn’t answer aloud.
I walked Charli to her mom’s condo on the other side of the complex and then strolled back to Dad’s. Charli was wrong. I was the lucky one…well, the blessed one. God had brought Andrea and me together. I needed her. I needed her now more than ever. But I wondered if she still needed me.
5
I took a shower and thought about a nap. I glanced at Andrea’s journal and my Bible. Maybe I needed to get into the Word and have some prayer time. Yeah, I really needed some prayer. When I left home, I was so angry. I wasn’t even sure why I was so angry. Angry at my dad for making me leave. Angry at Andrea for not coming with me. I think I was even angry at God for letting Dad have power over me.
I cracked open the prayer journal and reread Andrea’s note. Then I opened to her first entry. It was dated October from before there was even an “us.” I smiled, reading her words. It was as if she was here with me. I could hear her voice inflections with each sentence. I still wasn’t sure why she’d given this to me. Well, it was more why she trusted me with it. These were her private thoughts. Did she trust me so completely? I wasn’t sure I was ready for anyone to read all my innermost thoughts. I mean, I feel as if I tell her pretty much everything as it is, but still, this felt so…intimate.
A knock sounded at my door.
“Hey, Luke…” Dad walked in, dressed in a nice suit. He even had on a tie. My dad did not wear ties. He said that’s why he started his own business, so he wouldn’t have to wear ties to work. “Heather and I are going out to dinner. You want me to bring you anything back?”
“Sure. That sounds great. Where are you going tonight?”
“Uh”—he smiled—“the same restaurant I took her to on our first date.”
From his attire and attitude, I assumed tonight was the night he planned to pop the question.
“You’re going to ask her, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I am. Are you OK with that? You never really told me what you thought.”
Like it would matter. The words almost popped out of my mouth, but I held my tongue. “Are you sure you’re ready to get married again?”
“I am. With Heather. Luke, I want you to know that I will always love your mother, but we can’t go back and fix all the wrong and hurt. I’m moving forward with my life and I know she is too. I do want you to be OK with this. And you’ll be gaining a sister too.”
“Stepsister,” I quickly amended.
“A stepsister. You and Charli seemed to have been hitting it off. You were off all day together, weren’t you?”
“She’s…OK.”
“What if I asked Heather to see if Charli wants to hang out over here tonight? Then you two wouldn’t be alone.”
I know most of my generation hates being alone. That’s why they spend so much time live chatting over the Internet and on social media. But I actually didn’t mind alone time. In fact, there were times I craved it.
“You could put up the Christmas decorations.”
I firmed my lips. Of course. Not like he’d want to do it with me as he promised. And it’s only the night before Christmas Eve. “Sure. That sounds fine.”
“And we’ll bring you kids back some food. How about Chinese?”
Dad left and I began reading the next entry in Andrea’s journal. My anger level increased as I thought on the conversation. I could feel the pressure in my chest. Quickly, I blew out a calming breath.
My phone beeped with a message.
Sorry I had to miss our movie.
I understand.
Busy day. Parents took me to dinner. More practice now. Call you later?
Yeah. Later.
I hated this! I hated being separated from her. I needed to see her face to face. Then maybe I could see clearly. Everything seemed so muddled and cloudy at the moment and my emotions were whirling. What was wrong with me? I was usually so in control.
Wow! How would I tell Mom that Dad was getting remarried? I’m sure I’d be the one to tell her. No way would Dad tell her the news. I didn’t want to see my mother’s face when she heard. I’d seen her face when we heard the news about Monica’s accident and when Dad asked for a divorce. This was another moment in time I didn’t want to carry with me for the rest of my life. Once again, though, what choice did I have?
~*~
Charli came over.
We pulled out the Christmas decorations and built the plastic tree.
She popped popcorn and we watched a movie, the one I was supposed to watch with Andrea. It was actually nice having her around. Maybe it was better than being alone after all.
Charli had her arm over the couch a little too near to make me comfortable. “Your dad is going to ask my mom to marry him, isn’t he?”
“What makes you ask that?” I tried to feign ignorance as I scooted away from her.
“He just had that look about him. It’s like that reality show when the guy is finally ready to pop the question.”
I stood and carried the empty popcorn bowl to the kitchen.
Charli got up and followed me. “He is, right?”
I rotated around and looked her right in the eyes. “Yeah, he is.”
She breathed out a breath and then smiled. “I’m so glad. I mean, excited!” She twirled in a circle. When she stopped, she had her hands clasped together. “I bet Mom would totally encourage the idea of me coming to live with her now that she’ll have like a stable environment for me to move into.”
“You mean she doesn’t have a stable environment now?”
“Well, yeah, but isn’t it better to have two parents? That’s what you hear all the time.”
“It is. It’s been so long I almost forgot what that’s like.”
“My mom and dad have been divorced since I was three. I don’t think I ever
knew what it was like to have two parents who lived together and actually liked each other. Anyway, I think it’s great. My mom really loves your dad. Aren’t you happy for them?”
I tried. I really tried to be happy, but I just couldn’t muster it. I was barely getting used to the idea of my parents being divorced. Then he drops this knowledge on me that he has a girlfriend and that he’s planning to ask her to marry him. I forced a smile, but by the way she grimaced at me, I figured I failed to be convincing. “I want to be happy, but it’s hard when I think about everything Dad has put Mom and me through.”
Charli’s enthusiasm dulled and her eyelids pulled down in a concerned expression.
“I mean, maybe it will be better with them. If my parents’ marriage had been stronger, they might have made it through intact after Monica…” I broke off the sentence. There I went, revealing more than I intended with Charli. It was only because Andrea wasn’t here. I should be telling these things to her, but Charli was a good listener. Right now, I needed someone to listen, but I wasn’t sure if she knew about Monica or not.
“Monica, your older sister, who…who passed away.” Her voice grew soft. “I’m sorry.” She touched my shoulder.
Charli had smoothed her hair flat tonight, and she didn’t have on any makeup. No jewelry either. Not even her eyebrow ring. She looked better that way. Sweeter. More approachable. She stood several inches shorter than me, possibly even a foot. Not like Andrea, who was actually tall for a girl—like Mom.
I looked down into her blue eyes. They were glistening as if they were moist. Was she actually sad about my sister? Then I thought about Andrea and how she’d always been a comfort to me. For the first time, I’d finally had someone to talk to about my sister. But lately our time together had become less and less. And even though she’d been there for me when it counted, I’d been feeling a difference in her the last couple weeks.
“Thanks.” I put the bowl in the sink. “Want to pick another movie?”
“Sure, I’ll make sure to pick a girly one this time. Maybe one of those princess ones. I can run over to Mom’s and get it.” She grinned, wide and animated.
I rolled my eyes. Thank goodness Andrea loved action films as much as I did. Although she did have an extreme partiality for period dramas. I have on occasion sensed a slight sigh come from her when we watched public television on Sunday nights. I mean, how can you compete with the likes of those guys like Darcy?
Luke's Crazy California Christmas Page 4