Tall, Dark and Wolfish

by Lydia Dare

  Sorcha’s bottom lip poked out.

  “Why did ye call us together, Cait?” Elspeth asked, crossing her arms across beneath her breasts. She was a bit unsure of how to respond, since Caitrin hadn’t even bothered to call her for the meeting. Had she thought El wouldn’t come?

  “I had a vision.” Cait’s gaze rose sharply to meet Elspeth’s.

  Elspeth raised a hand and forced a sarcastic gasp. “About me? No!” She lowered her arms and moved to walk past them all. “I doona want ta hear it.”

  Caitrin’s hand clutched her arm in a furious grip as she walked by. “Ye have ta hear it. Ye doona have a choice.”

  “I doona want ta hear ye speak poorly of Ben,” Elspeth hissed as she shook Cait loose from her arm. “Ye may no’ like it, but he’s my husband.”

  “And ye’d put him before yer own safety, because ye want ta help him. We’ll no’ let ye do that.” Elspeth’s eyes searched through the faces of the girls present, surprised to see that none of them, not a single one, would meet her gaze.

  “All of ye plan ta interfere? That’s the way of it?”

  “I wouldna call it interferin’…” Sorcha kicked a clump of dirt in her path.

  “We need ta ken what ta expect on the night of the full moon,” Caitrin said bluntly.

  “I doona ken what ta expect myself !” Elspeth cried. “I have never attempted ta heal a broken Lycan!”

  “I can get a clearer vision of it if ye’ll let me look inta yer future.”

  “I’ll no’ participate,” Elspeth said. “Ye can plan my future without me.” She stomped past them and toward the door.

  Caitrin’s voice stopped her. “I did see somethin’.”

  Elspeth stopped, her hand on the doorknob. She didn’t turn to look back at them. “What did ye see?”

  Elspeth’s heart nearly broke when she heard Caitrin’s voice crack. “I saw him hurt ye.”

  Elspeth didn’t turn back. She stepped through the door and closed it behind her. Only when it was firmly shut did she allow herself to rest heavily against the surface and drop her face into her hands.

  Ben paced back and forth in front of Elspeth’s little cottage. He’d started inside the house but had quickly become overwhelmed by the diminutive size of the dwelling. He felt as though the walls were closing in around him. He’d never felt such a huge desire to be outdoors.

  Whatever Elspeth had been doing, it was working. He’d never felt his Lycan side quite as strongly as he did at that moment. He’d worked all day to tamp it down, but he had to admit he loved the feeling. He’d thought he’d lost it forever. He thought that side of himself was gone, but it wasn’t.

  Elspeth had found it for him. She’d healed him with her silly flower baths, ointments, and blueberries. And she’d healed him with her heart.

  He had no doubt that she was his Lycan mate. In his mind’s eye he saw himself with her under the light of the full moon. The shadows would part and the moonlight would shine upon her light skin. There he would strip her bare in front of him and take her as his mate. He would pierce her flesh with his teeth and make her his.

  Ben grew more and more aroused as his mind wandered. It was physically painful to think about taking Elspeth under the light of the full moon. Twenty-four more hours and he would be one with her; he would press into her body and she would lovingly accept him just as he was.

  He imagined her opening her body to him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

  The sound of a carriage drew him from his lustful thoughts. He groaned as MacQuarrie’s coach rumbled to a stop in the drive. MacQuarrie was the last person he wanted to see. The driver hopped down and opened the door. Ben pressed the heel of his hand against his erection, mentally willing himself to calm down. He buttoned his coat and adjusted the folds to hide the tent of his trousers.

  Elspeth’s red head popped out of the coach. He would have to thank his old friend for the loan of his carriage. He hated the thought of her walking home when nightfall was approaching.

  Then MacQuarrie stepped out behind her. What was she doing alone with Alec?

  Elspeth smiled softly and crossed to him, rising on tiptoe to touch her lips to his.

  “Where have you been?” he asked. Even he could hear the tone of his voice and knew it was too abrasive, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. “With MacQuarrie?”

  “No.” She smiled, sliding an arm around his waist to turn toward Alec. “Mr. MacQuarrie stopped and offered me a ride home when I left Sorcha’s. Thank ye,” she said softly to him.

  Ben tipped her chin up with a crooked finger. Her beautiful green eyes were rimmed with red, and her nose was abraded, maybe from blowing it. “What happened to you?” he barked. His gaze immediately rose to Alec. “What did you do to her?”

  Elspeth’s clutch on his arm grew tighter when it appeared he would have charged Alec. “I’ll tell ye inside.” She turned toward the house. “Thank ye again, Mr. MacQuarrie.”

  “Any time, Lady Elspeth.” The man had the nerve to wink at her. A low growl burned in Ben’s throat. With a question in his gaze, Alec asked, “See you tomorrow, Ben?”

  Ben ignored him and ushered Elspeth through the door. She disentangled herself from his grasp.

  “Why have you been crying?” he growled.

  “Oh, it’s nothin’,” she said and absently waved her hand. It was definitely not nothing to him. Anger washed over him and was nearly as potent as his lust. The two emotions warred to determine which would ride the surface of his mind. He raked his hand through his hair.

  He crossed the room to her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s not nothing if it makes you cry.” She relaxed against him, which helped to ease his anger a bit, but not the lust that crowded his mind.

  His hands moved to her bodice and began to quickly untie her laces.

  “Now, Ben?” she laughed. “I’m barely in the door!”

  “You’re in far enough,” he growled.

  The red around the corners of his vision should have warned him that he was too far gone. It should have told him that he wasn’t himself. It should have told him that he was out of control. But he was too far gone to pay it any heed.

  He met a stubborn knot in the laces that held her dress closed and lowered his teeth to it. He bit cleanly through the material with one bite.

  “Oh, Ben!” Elspeth cried. “Doona ruin my dress!” Her fingers rose to finish the job he’d started. He batted them away before he simply tore the gown in two. The sound of rendered material hung in the air.

  Ben stopped and closed his eyes tightly.

  “Are ye all right, Ben?” Her soft hand touched his face. He turned his head and nipped her palm. He closed his eyes tightly.

  “I’m all right,” he said slowly. Was he?

  Ben cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. He took her mouth with much more force than he’d ever taken another. But she merely met his tongue without complaint. Inside, the beast in him rejoiced.

  He drew her bottom lip between his teeth and nipped it.

  “Ow!” she cried, raising a hand to her mouth.

  “I’m sorry,” he immediately confessed, a twinge of guilt making him wince. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Slow down a bit, will ye?” she smiled. “I think I need ta catch up.”

  Slow down? He would sooner chop off a limb. If he didn’t have her soon, he would explode. Her dress lay in a heap at her feet while she stood before him in her chemise and drawers. He removed them quickly and efficiently before he lifted her in his arms and walked to the bedroom.

  He tossed her into the middle of the bed and climbed atop her. With a quick flip of his thumb, he released himself from his trousers and pressed against her.

  “Ben?” She stopped him.

  Did she say something? He’d ask her to repeat it later. He was very close to completion. He was close to taking her. He was close to being inside her. He growled as he bent his head and pulled her nipple into his mouth.


  “Easy, Ben!” she gasped. “That’s a bit rough.”

  He eased his grasp on her and took her hips in his palms, tipping them so he could slide his full length into her at once.

  “Ouch!” she cried from beneath him. She wiggled her body until she slid from beneath him, where she could rest against the headboard, her legs drawn up to her chest, clutching them tightly.

  “I want you,” he growled as he reached for her.

  “Oh, ye remember I’m in the room now, do ye?” she spit at him before she scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up. Light suffused the room. “Look at me,” she commanded, her biting tone pulling him from his single-minded objective.

  He ran his gaze from her disheveled fiery hair to her breasts, which wore red marks from his rough kisses. He clearly saw the outline of his hands on her hips. Thank God she didn’t have bruises.

  “What have I done?” he asked as he stood up and raked a frantic hand through his hair.

  “It’s all right, Ben,” she said, her finger trailing down his forearm. “I want ye ta make love ta me. Ye just need ta slow down a bit.”

  “It’s too close to the moon,” he snapped. “I can’t be in control this close to the moon.”

  “Ye can, Ben,” she encouraged him.

  He’d come close to bruising her beautiful flesh, and she still wanted him.

  He wasn’t nearly good enough for her. Ben buttoned his trousers and turned from her. His voice quavered as he said, “I have to go.”

  “No!” She walked toward him. He backed up until he tripped over the settee. He crashed to the floor in a disoriented lump. She approached. He couldn’t let her touch him. He wasn’t deserving.

  He scrambled to his feet and rushed toward the door. “Ben,” she said. “Doona go.”

  “I have to,” he said as he opened the door and ran out into the night. He ran until he could run no longer, until the air burned his lungs. Until his muscles pleaded for him to cease. Yet he couldn’t get far enough away from her. If he could do one thing, he could protect Elspeth from what might hurt her. And today that danger was him.

  Thirty-four

  Elspeth stared at her tattered dress and underclothes lying on the floor. What had come over him? She’d never seen him behave in such a way. We also become more carnal. Ben’s words from days ago echoed in her ears. How could a man such as him become more carnal? She hadn’t quite believed him until now.

  But he was right. He’d not frightened her, but it was almost as though he couldn’t hear her words, as though he wasn’t in control of himself. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, as the memory of the encounter flashed again in her mind. She didn’t even recognize this Ben. He reminded her of a wild animal…

  Which, of course, he was.

  Elspeth’s gaze shot to the door he’d flown through. Ben had looked so devastated when he escaped her. That look of pain was just as disconcerting as her own panic. Perhaps if she’d had some notice, been prepared for what he wanted—no, what he needed—things would have ended differently.

  Her husband had needed something from her, and she hadn’t been able to give it to him. Guilt mixed with fear and encompassed her, Caitrin’s warning still fresh in her mind. Ben would hurt her, she’d said, but she hadn’t mentioned that Elspeth would hurt him in return.

  She had to find him, make sure he was all right. With a frown she retrieved a serviceable dress from her armoire and threw it over her head. Why did he have to run off like that? Why couldn’t he explain to her what had happened, what he needed from her?

  She wrapped the Campbell plaid tightly around her and ran out of the cottage just as the sun was setting and casting a deep crimson across the horizon. “Ben!” she called, not certain at all which direction he’d gone. How would she ever find him?

  Elspeth wandered deep into the woods, calling for him until she couldn’t yell any longer. Her throat hurt, and she collapsed beside a boulder, exhausted, with tears streaming down her face.

  Where was he? Couldn’t he hear her? The man had better hearing than anyone else on earth. Then a horrible thought entered her mind. What if he could hear her, but he still wouldn’t come? Her heart constricted and ached.

  “Ben!” she called again, straining her voice beyond reason. She looked at her wrist. He could ignore her voice, but could he ignore her touch? With a shaking finger she touched her mark, hoping he could feel how much she loved him.

  Ben winced when he felt her stroke across him. Why couldn’t she just leave him alone? Couldn’t she tell he wasn’t fit company? He wasn’t fit for her?

  He pressed deeper into the darkened forest. He would walk all the way to Glasgow if he had to. How far would he have to get from her before he wouldn’t feel her touch anymore?

  One after another of Simon’s old lectures echoed in his mind. It’s too dangerous to be with a woman from the time the moon is nearly full until it starts to wane. You’re reckless, Benjamin. You take too many chances. One of these days you’ll go too far.

  He’d been reckless, all right, with the one person he was supposed to protect, the one person he’d never wanted to hurt in any way.

  He spied a shaft of moonlight in a clearing and looked up into the sky. Hating who he was and what he’d become, he cursed the moon, now nearly full, for the power it had over him.

  Ben growled fiercely, until the growl became a scream. He screamed at the moonlit sky until his voice ceased to work. Then he turned and walked back slowly toward Edinburgh. He had no idea how far he’d traveled. But it was far enough that it might take him days to return if he simply walked.

  He couldn’t go back to her, even though he still felt her tender strokes against his skin. Even though he still felt her touch as she obviously touched her mark, calling to him. He wasn’t good for her. It wasn’t safe.

  The anger and lust no longer raged in his blood. It no longer called to him, and he felt much as he did before he’d sought out Elspeth. He felt empty. He felt less than whole.

  Instead of returning to her cottage, he went to the property outside Edinburgh that he’d just bought. There was an old crofter’s cabin that seemed reasonably sound. He would go there and wait for the moon to pass him by. Then he’d go back to her and fulfill his obligation.

  He passed the rest of the night and day in solitude. When the moon hung high in the sky, he went to a nearby clearing. There, he removed his clothes and stepped from the shadows into the moonlight. He lifted his arms to the sky and felt… nothing. He felt nothing at all. No madness. No shifting. Nothing.

  He’d lost his ability to be a Lycan. Feeling nearly dead inside, he walked slowly toward the crofter’s cottage, where he remained for six full days.

  As the days passed, he hoped the pining for her would gradually decrease. Yet she still called to him, and he imagined her stroking slowly across her mark. It was time to go to her. When he crossed over to her land, he walked casually, knowing he was no longer the person he’d once been. And he just hoped she would accept him as he was.

  He knocked softly on her door. Her tiny feet padded across the floor and the heavy wooden door swung inward. There she was. His wife. She held her arms out to him, and he could do nothing more than clutch her to him.

  He was shocked that she went to him so easily, but she did. She melted against him and fit into him like she’d been made to be there. Perhaps she was.

  She stepped back, took his hand in hers, and pulled him into the cottage as tears pooled in her eyes.

  “I—” he started.

  She placed a finger to his lips and whispered, “Shhhh…”

  “I need to—” he began again. She stopped his words by standing on tiptoe and pressing her lips to his.

  He gathered her tenderly in his arms and carried her to the willow bed, where he slowly removed her clothes. She smiled softly as he pulled her nightrail over her head and the wolf combs clattered to the floor.

  He bent and picked them up, but she tossed them to a nearby table as though
they were nothing. “My wolf,” she sighed. “So lost.” Her hand stroked the beard stubble on his face.

  “Please, help me,” he whispered softly, his eyes meeting hers.

  “I promise.” She kissed him tenderly and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it from his shoulders. She moved to his trousers and asked quietly, “Did ye miss me?”

  “Like a piece of myself was missing,” he said as he kissed a slow trail across her bare shoulder.

  When she’d fully undressed him, he laid her back on the bed and rose above her. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He proceeded to kiss her softly all over. He kissed her until the scent of her desire reached his nose, and then he settled between her thighs.

  “I ken that ye werena yerself, Ben.”

  “Then who was I?” he asked, looking down into her green eyes.

  Who was he? He was her love. He was her life. He was her mate. She had no doubt in her mind that he was the other half to her whole.

  “Ye’re my wolf,” she said as she reached up and brushed the hair from his forehead.

  “I’m not,” he protested, shaking his head.

  “Ye are,” she repeated, catching his head in her hands. He kept his eyes tightly shut. “Ben,” she prodded. “Look at me.”

  He opened his eyes, but didn’t meet her gaze.

  “I love ye,” she admitted. His eyes immediately caught hers. The intensity in his gaze nearly scared her.

  “How could you?” he asked quietly.

  She shrugged and laughed. “I doona ken. I just do.”

  “I am not worthy of your love,” he said quietly as his hardness prodded her flesh. She arched to meet him. As he slid into her he said, “But I need you so much.”

  “And I need ye, too,” she gasped as he slowly stroked within her. “I couldna live without ye.”

  He gently carried her up and over the pinnacle of pleasure, slowly and methodically wringing all the pleasure from her body, then joining her. Finally he rolled to the side and pulled her close to him, clutching her closer than he ever had.